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Grieving Girlfriend
My girlfriend of two years recently lost her father to cancer. That was about two months ago and it was a tough time for her but in the last week she has begun to bounce back and smile agian.
The problem is, we haven't had sex since her father passed. I don't want to sound like an ass or anything, but we used to have a really active sex life and now it feels like there is this wall between us I can't get past.
Anyone know how I could bring this up without offending her? Do you think it's too soon? I miss the sex of course, but I can live without if she's not ready.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Let her know in a very no pressure way that you miss being "close" to her. Then just let it go. She knows what is going on, I don't she doesn't realize that you're missing that entire party of your relationship. Let her know, but then drop it. If in another month nothing has happened yet then let her know again. She needs you right now.
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i personally think its to soon.. i would wait til she comes onto you.. or id come on to her inm about another month or some.. let her smile and stuff at first then be able to go out and do things like a regualr person then eventually she'll want to have sex.. also maybe try and take her places do more things for her so she knows that you care,..*im not sayin she dont know you care but that way she'll feel okay when she's ready to have sex again* i wouldnt bring this up.. or you can try coming on to her and see how she reacts.. ♥ Dez
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If she's just starting to smile again sometimes, she probably isn't really thinking about sex too much just yet. You don't sound like a jerk at all btw. In your situation, you're obviously still around with her a lot. If you want to find out if she's 'ready' to use the word lightly, then give her the opportunity.
Think about the times when you used to be active, and try to remember anything that was particularly good for getting her to act cute. Things she liked to do, or things you'd say. Give her hints - but as you said, don't be a jerk about it. If she just doesn't seem to be interested, don't push it, you know what I'm talking about so I won't do a spiel for you.
The most important thing that you can do right now is be there for her. The more you are there for her, the faster she'll get over things and you'll get back to your "active life", but for now, just give her the occasional gentle hint, and whatever you do, -DO- -NOT- -EVER- give her the feeling that you've used her grief to get her to bed, because that could end your chances forever.
-K
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if shes just starting to smile again. i dont think shes anywhere near ready. and i dont really think you should ask her about it. you might offend her. you would offend me if i were in her shoes. so just give it some time.
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first of all ask her and talk about if her fathers death has had any weird effects on her. like if she is eating okay, or making sure she isnt doing drugs or hurting herself. or she might be hiding something from you like she might have had sex with some one else and she is feeling too guilty that she is putting your sex life on hold. you need to find out if she is or had had sex with any 1 else cause that might be the prob.
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obviously she knows you care. if you have a really open relationship getting into it after a romantic evenining or something, and her pulling away, simply asking is it to soon? because ill wait for you. that kinda line will do wonders on a girl. Id personally wait a week before anything, specialy with her just comming around, but being very loving and affectioning, will bring her around slowly. maybe you should take baby steps.. after days or nights together taking the bases slowly will get her confortalbe.
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Give her some time. Put yourself in her shoes...if you lost your father to cancer that wouldn't exactly put you in the wanting-to-have-sex mood. She'll bounche back soon enough but if you have been together for two years I'm sure you can wait a little while.
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