about

**** I've been gone quite a long time. However I'm still breathing though it's touch and go. Don't expect me to answer or check in much. ****

Welcome to the junkdrawer that is my brain! I know something about many things, and I if I don't know it, I admit that I don't know. That I am constantly finding things I know nothing about and correcting that ignorance keeps me busy and happy. More junk for the drawer.

I love and have experience with many types of animals, including the human. I don't offend easy and I am generally cynical and a smart-butt. I love to drive, read, work on the computer and I spend WAY too much time watching Anime and bidding on ebay.

advice

Any girls out there with really thick,corse and/or frizzie hair wut do you do to calm it down because mine is all three and it takes me an hour to straighten it when it is dry.

Any suggestions

i have a good straighnter-ceriamic

dont tell me to use freeze stuff on my hair it works but u cant tell.

Try using Nexus Enssure. This stuff is awesome and doesn't weigh down your hair like Garneir Fructis which is great but you need to change up shampoo to prevent nasty build up.

[view]

i'm a senior in high school and i'm going to college next year. i'm a little confused on the whole hour consept, can somebody explain it to me? when they say that a class is three hours, does that mean three hours a day, three hours a week or what? and if you're taking 15 hours a semester, does that mean that you have 15 hours of class every week? i don't get it.
oh, and plese no "i dunno, i have never gone to college, but i think..." answers.

Hours are used to measure the rate of your degree. Say you want a Communications degree that the requirements say will need you to take a total of 64 hours to complete. A 3 hour course means you earn three hours toward your degree when you complete the course to the school specifications. Unless you take weekend or mini-term classes, you'll only have class twice a week for about 45min to an hour at a time. So the total hours you earn for the course really have nothing to do with how long you are in class, or even how often a week you have class. I know it's confusing, but look at it this way the hour system makes it easier for you to schedule classes to meet your needs. 15hrs a quarter I think is fulltime for an undergraduate. I never went to school on the semester system. Hope this helps. Talk to admissions or one of the school guidence coucelors if you still have questions. Good Luck!

[view]

How can it be that you can have casual sex? I am a virgin and some of my friends have had sex. Those who have also have casual sex. I just don't understand how you can have sex without having a comitment. Doesn't it still end up being a comitment because someone will want a relationship. It's natural for humans to want to have a relationship. So why is it that people can have casual sex with different people without a more serious relationship??

Sex feels good. It is also addictive. Your body desires the touch of another person. I agree with you that a commitment should be involved, but sometimes the need for touch overpowers the need to wait for the right person. It's about putting the wants of your body before the needs of your heart.

[view]

I was talking to a friend of mine and some how we got onto the subject of seasoning food. I made a comment that white people are boring because all they use is salt and pepper and occasionally garlic. I'm spanish and so is my friend, so of course us being spanish we're used to foods with all these rich spices and whatnot. I was talking to my boyfriend and I told him about it because my boyfriend is... well he's whiter than a sheet of paper. Anyway for some reason, he told his mom about it and I feel really bad now that I said it because I feel that I've offended his mother. His mother and I have a very good relationship considering the fact that I've been with my boyfriend for a long time. I just feel really bad about making that comment now. He told me that she pretty much agreed with it, but I still feel horrible about it because I eat over at their house almost every weekend and she cooks, but her food is really good! I don't know what I should do. I don't really want to bring the subject up again because I don't want to offend her even more if in fact I even did offend her. Any advice?

Just relax! Your comment was made as a basic overall sterotype of white cooking. Even I didn't take offense. Mostly it is true. That doesn't mean the cooking is bad, just not terribly daring. How bad can you screw up a combo of potatoes onions and garlic with some salt and pepper? Plain, but boy does it taste good. Don't worry about it!

[view]

well on friday night i went to the movie with my best friend and we saw a scary movie, and well i was like leaning up against him and i would always hide my face in his hood whenever i got scared, and well his mom picked us up afterwards, just me and him, but we went with like 10 other people, like 5 girls, 5 guys, but they were going out and we werent, only 2 other people werent, so i walked inside and my dad was like, so which one was your date? and he was like hastling me all night. and then i went over to my best friends house on saturday and he told me that his mom was doing the same thing, and then she took us to the movies again that night, but this time it was just me and him, and she was like, "you know i think you guys should consider it because your really cute together" and personally i think so too because we both have brown hair and he's a tiny bit taller than me, and well i didnt say anything, but anyway we saw another scary movie, and i dont know how it happened but we ended up kissing? and my brother was there and he saw it and he got us a ride with his date's parents so while we were in the car his date was like, aw guys come on i swear you two are so cute together. well we didnt think anything of it. but yesterday i went bowling with my brother and we had to take our baby cousin so our other cousin who's our age went too, and my best friend called me and he asked me if i could hang out and i told him what i was doing, but my brother was like, "no you should go hang out with your boyfriend" and my best friend heard it, so he asked me out today, and in school we were hugging and we got in trouble?? but anyway i'm REALLY afraid we're gonna break up, i mean, he tells me he cares about me and he loves me and his mom has always liked me, but i dont know im really scared our friendship wont last. do you have any tips how i can get over this??

sorry its so long.

Sweetheart, don't let other people push the two of you into something neither of you are ready for right now. You and he are friends that have experimented a bit with a kiss or two and like to hang out. DON'T PUSH THIS! You are not girlfriend and boyfriend over one kiss and some family opinion. If the two of you ever get together let it be your idea, not your family or your friends. I don't have any tips except to learn how you really feel about each other. You are both young and inexperienced. Being "cute together" is nonsense. Luck adn love!

[view]

I hae to close friends that are pregnant. Unfortunantly one was raped and the other one was by her boyfriend. They are both considering abortion. Why is it that people think it is all right for my friend who was raped to get an abotion and the other one isn't. Both are still killing and innocent child...Please help me understand the difference!!

Your friend who was raped had no choice in the matter. That she is pregnant is not her fault. Another thing about that is blood ties, heredity. So little is known about personality development. Would letting this child live just be putting another rapist in the world? Sure the child is as innocent as your friend, but the father is still a part of that child. Your other friend, whose pregnant by her boyfriend is just taking the easy way out of responsibility. She had an active role in making this baby. She chose to have sex, she chose the man to have sex with. Unlike the raped friend she is as much a party of this baby's creation as the father. That's the difference. I don't agree with pro-choice abortion. A baby is a resposibilty, a special trust. Pro-choice is a criminal avoidance of obligation, duty and honor. However, I would not presume to blame your raped friend for aborting her's. I don't even know that I would not abort in that situation. I'd hope I wouldn't, but I can certainly see the need to clean every part of myself of the horror of the act. I can't imagine carrying a child created that way. I hope this gives you some clarity.

[view]

The country that I live in is debating the Death Penalty. I Do not understand the understanding that the death penalty is ok. You are killing someone still aren't you? I realize that the people scentenced are usually murderers and other things along that line. I just want to know both sides of the story. I looked it up on Google and it is not what i am looking for. I want opinions on BOTH side.

Personal opinion: I am totally for the death penalty. This is why: I pay taxes. Taxes house, feed, and supply both prosecution and appointed defense attorneys for law breakers. Taxes build and maintain prisons and governement buildings. While I do not grudge giving my hard earned money in the support of people who have made mistakes or have been misguided, I have a BIG problem supporting a man or woman who would think of hurting a child or raping or being arrogant enough to think they have the right to kill someone with little provocation. To support a person who would hurt me or my family for little or no reason is stupid. That I must pay for every meal and drink they take thoughout a prison stay pisses me off. I do not mind the taxes spent on defense, everyone has a right to prove thier case. I don't want an innocent person to suffer for another's crimes. I do feel that society as a whole is victimized when death sentences are mitigated to life terms and life terms are mitigated to life with parol. I understand prison is not easy, but it erks me that these people are allowed to remain and take up space and resources that could be applied to better things.

[view]

i have a boyfriend and he nevers calls or any thing with his old girlfriend he would call every day but when i call hes never home and we never hang out with his old girl friend thay would always hang out but his friends say he really likes me but then one only ONE of his friends say he doseint like me wut should i do dose he like me?:(

You are not a couple. If he has no interest in talking to you or being with you in a non-sexual manner, then you have no relationship. He may think you're a nice person, but he doesn't really LIKE you the way you are asking. Be friends and move on. You have nothing to build on with him.

[view]

My friend made a Flash movie and I am doing the voice acting for one of the characters. The character has one line, which has to be said very quickly, loudly and forcefully. Every time I say this line into my microphone and listen to it there is a little static "explosion" on the hard consonants. Short of getting a new microphone, what can I do to lessen this?

What you need is a popscreen in front of the mic to break the wind caused from your speech. You could probably rig a makeshift screen. This is a company that sells them. www.popfilter.com It should give you some ideas or at least a start in what you're looking for. Good Luck!

[view]

I need to know what to do about my husband and daughter. My 5yr old daughter dont talk and avoids my husband.. My husband tells me he loves her but thinks she is a brat. He told me i should think bout puttin her in counciling. I told him he should go with her..because the problem is both of them..My husband refuses to make the 1st move, like talking 1st or asking her to come sit with him.. He says he aint letting a 5yr old run his life.. he tells her more when she does something wrong then praise her. She has her moments of not listening..she gets punished.. he says shes too far up my butt..however i am a very affectionate mother..both of my girls are always over me..this is affecting our marriage. he says he dont know whats going to happen if she dont change.. she is my world as my other daughter is..the only difference is ..she isnt biologically his..she comes from my previous marriage..but her real father took off after she was 3. he is always holding, loving on and playing with my 1 1/2 yr old, and looks right by her.. what should i do? am i going to have to make a choice between her and my husband? how can i fix this? Please help..

Your husband is an ass. A five year old doesn't have the ability to make the first move. He couldn't be stupid enough to believe she is. I think he is making excuses not to love her because she is not of his body. I think he is jeleous that she takes any time away from you and the daughter the two of you have. His behavior is immature and unacceptable. I can't tell you how to fix this. He needs couceling as much as your little girl, but if he isn't willing to put any effort into the relationship things will continue to go down hill. Good luck.

[view]

This isn't really a sexual question, but it involves my genitals, so I figured this would be the best place to ask.

My labia is very irritated, itchy, and sometimes downright painful. I know it's not an STD, because I haven't done anything that could give me an STD. It's a bit like a rash, but I wouldn't call it one, it's more like irritation. Sometimes, I'll put vaseline on it, but it doesn't help much and not for long. It's a sharp, burning pain. It especially hurts when I'm forced to touch it, like after I use the restroom, or if I have to insert a tampon. Again, it's just my labia (inner and outer, mostly inner), not anything else, really.

Anyone know what it is/how to relieve it?

Try A&D ointment from the baby care section. You can use it in and out. My gyno told be about it and it has been a godsend. I think your problem may be caused by your tampons. Vaginosis, basic irritation, is often caused by chemical irritaion. Like tampons. Try the ointment and use pads for a while. I know it's not as convienent, but it should help clear up the problem quickly.

[view]

Okay now I dont want to sound too sluty but yesterday I went some where with my friend and when we got there it was this really cute boy there. Now he was flirting with me(rubbing my leg and holding my hand) but the bad part of all this is he was doin gthe same to my friend, when we went outside, we actually made out. When we got back to my friends house she told me that they made out! Now I don't know if that is true or not because they were never really alone together bu twhat if it is true? I have to see this boy every thursday, and I think we both like him, but who does he like??? PLEASE HELP ME

Try not to take this too personally. I am actually answering your question with the truth. Who really cares? He doesn't. The boy wants sex and doesn't care which of you he gets it from. If you're willing to try a threesome he may agree to that. What do you want? If it's a relationship forget it. Either of you ladies, forget it. If you want a hump-buddy I'd say this is your guy, but expect to share.

[view]

My dog barks at the slightest movement or sound. He chases my four cats around and when hes on a walk he chases cars. He is a Border Collie, so it is natural for him to try to herd things. He is so out of control sometimes that he will see the neighbor dogs from the inside window and will throw himself at the window, barking like a maniac. What do you suggest I do?

Water squirt bottle training! I had a Sheltie that went through a phase like this. (Except the cat thing, that is my Poms) Keep a squirt bottle with you at all times. For the first few days keep him on a leash even inside the house. (He should associate the lead with training and obedience. This will reenforce that you are in control.) Inside manners are very different from regular obedience training. A spray of water to catch your dog's attention and a firm no bark, or leave it (useful command for not chasing cats, cars or eating bad things on the floor) when he does wrong will go a long way to training him away from these bad habits. The car thing is an extention of these indoor bad habits. He can get away with charging the windows, why can't he get by with going after what he wants outside?

Another thing, if you just sent him to obedience school, it may have been an useless expense. Dogs obey the pack leader. If someone else trained him, that person is his pack leader not you. If your dog has a dominant personallity, and with the behavior issues you describe, he does, you will need to take a refresher course in obedience training with your dog to gain his respect. If you did train him, he needs alot of work and practice and additional classes. Reenforcement of behavior is the MOST important thing in training. A dog can't just go through a training course and be perfect and remember all his manners. It takes constant work to keep his lessons in mind. Luck!

[view]

i think i have social anxiety. i have loads of the symptoms from this site i went on, like i'm scared to be anxious, and also when a teacher tells us we can ask for help, i can't, incase anyone is watching or listening and i might make myself look stupid, or something. but the thing is, my mum doesn't believe me, i broke down in tears in the car today and i said i probably have social anxiety (i'm scared because i have to do work experience, i've been placed in an estate agent and i don't want to BE an estate agent). she thinks i'm just shy, but the thing is, on this site it says people will often say you are just shy, but it's worse than that, i do want to be all social but i get scared i'll make a fool out of myself. what can i do about it, cos it's affecting my education and i don't have a social life =( thanks xo

If you don't want to see a shrink, go to a regular doctor. Tell them what's going on and ask if they think Paxil will help you. If they can't help you they CAN reccemend you to someone who can. You do need help, and you are not alone. Big hug and much support!

[view]

I have a seriously anger problem and I can't control. Like earlier i was arguing with my cousin and he just gave me a wrong look so I flipped the dinin room table on him and i seriously could kill him. I don't want to go to anger management because its doesn't work. Seriously the littest things piss me off and I mean serious I can kill what can id o?

Prozac and Zanex help my anger issues. Mine seem to be based in something called general anxiety disorder caused by a chemical imbalance. If I don't take my medicine regularly I stay on a constant edge. Then I'll get panic attacks, but instead of the flight response lots of people get I go the opposite route. I go into fight mode. Any little thing will set me off. Luckily I've calmed since childhood, my (older)sister often claims to have been terrified of me when I was younger. I have developed tremendous control over my actions. I refuse to strike out physically, but my mouth is another matter. No one likes being around me when I need my pills.

Go to a good regular doctor and telling them what's going on. If anger managment hasn't helped, you could need some medical help like I did. Good Luck!

[view]

i`m a freshman in high school. ever since i was about 4 or 5, i've had an excessive bladder problem i guess you could say. when somebody makes me laugh, i start to piss myself. it's been happening lately at school and volleyball practice, and i have nothing to cover it up with! is there any type of medicine i could take, or anything that could help prevent this or something.. ? please help

if you're going to laugh or make fun of me, you'll be rated a one, and i'm gonna report you. =)

You need to see a doctor called a urologist. They specialize in your problem. There are medications that can help, but only a doctor can tell you what will be best for you personally. I understand your problem, I've had such problems my whole life and had surgery when I was 4 to help with it. Good luck!

[view]

Hello everyone i have a grandpa ( sorta ) well he doesnt talk to me ever i try calling him to see if he would like help around his house and garden and stuff but he says no ill ask katie to do that. On Forth of July last year i was trying to help clean up and then mii cousin ran in and spilled water all over the gradage on top of me so when she was sitting in there i did it to her and i got "grounded" to my grandpas basement by my grandpa. He has Ryan, Me , Jon , Katie , and Jessica as his grand children but he is always bragging about Ryan mii older brother and my 2 cousins Katie and Jessica its like he doesnt even notice me and my little brother. Please Help Me

I am sooo not my Grandmother's favorite that I completely understand how you feel. She didn't see me as a person worth dealing with till I was 18 and she broke her ankle. Of the three people there I was the one who took over and directed my Grandfather and aunt into calling the paramedics and putting the dogs in the house. Then I took care of her until help arrived. Until that moment she'd had no use for me whatsoever. I've known why for years, my mother. Sometimes when a parent doesn't like one of thier children, and my G'ma can't stand my mother, they take it out on the grandchildren if those children remind them too much of the child. I am my mother's child. We are very much alike. You can't change the way someone feels about you. I know it hurts, but I was lucky to realize that I was disliked very young, about five. Even at 31 it still hurts abit, but it is a part of my life that I've accepted. I'm sorry for you and your little brother. The only thing you can do is be yourself and try to accept that your love and attempt to win approval will most likely never be resiprocated or successful. I'm sorry. Big hug and much understanding!

[view]

Dear Zapreth,
I'm a 13 year old female and recently I have had really bad bladder weakness. This only started after I got my period. Iv'e managed to hide it from everyone, but I'm really worried I have some sort of condition. Iv'e heard some of these things only begin at puberty. What is wrong with me? It is seriously so embarrasing, even when no one else knows, not even my Mum. If I have something wrong with me, is it possible to retrain my bladder or change my diet in some way to prevent it?
Thanks so much.

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you. I have not been on the site in some time due to work and life issues. I've had bladder problems all of my life. I'm not sure what would cause you to start having problems due to your period, but you should go to a good doctor to relieve your worry. It may be nothing more than an infection or a reaction to the femimine products you're haveing to use now. I hope your problem has fixed itself since you sent me this question. Just tell your mum. She had to have had some bladder problems carrying you through pregnancy. She should understand both your concern and your embarassment. I'm sorry I can't be of more help.

Good luck, be well!

[view]

can you get a disease or STD from fingering well from being fingered

The most likely problem would be a bacterial infection. It would feel a lot like a yeast infection (burning, itching), but you would have a slightly bloody discharge and no yucky gunky stuff like with a yeast infection. I think it's called vaginosis or something similar. This isn't a big deal and will usually go away with time and a rest from sexual activity. A&D ointment found in the baby care section helps with the burn and itch.

[view]

My ex who is now single again says he is better of being single because girls parents are always racist. I don't know what to say to him but I feel bad because hes really sad and stuff. How could I tell him that I still care and wanna be with him? Because he says he only gets respect by the sports he plays but thats wrong. I rate high.

The saddest thing is, the young man is probably right. In highschool one or two of my black male friends seemed interested in me. I liked them and thought going out would be wonderful. I never did though. The biggest thing keeping me from acting on any of those mutual attractions was what my parents and grandparents would think if I brought him home. I felt bad about not being able to get past it, but I Love my family and knew the damage that could be done to me and whatever man I chose to bring home with my family's racist disapproval. I never cared enough about any of these guys to break from my own race in dating, but I have always felt like a coward for it just the same. The world is changing daily and couples of mixed race have an easier time fitting in to one another's families, but people who would never think twice about saying they are not racist and mean it, still hesitate to push through the barriers of social conventions from the past. Don't discount his concerns as groundless. He may be well loved and respected for far more than his sports ability, but he could also be dead on about the families of the girls he has dated. If you want him, let him know your regard is the one that matters. Not your family's. Sometimes families can accept, but don't expect it to be a simple matter. I still hear comments about the Hispanic man my cousin married. They call him "mystery man." No one really has a problem with him, but he does not fit in and it is hard for him to talk to his wife's circle of relatives. Good luck to you!

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker