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I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589
to post/comment on a topic =]
advice
i have recently taken a likeing to some screamo music. Anybody know of some good music, that is kind of like alternative/rock/and screamo combined. All of my friends hate this kind of music,so they don't know of any bands. but i'm starting to dig the music. so please, Help? Ooh, preferably before monday, because that way i'll have a chance to upload it to my ipod.
billy talent, rage against the machine, rise against, breaking benjamin, red jumpsuit apparatus (this one's got less screaming, but it's pretty good so I'm writing it anyway)
If you want to hear anything before you upload it, I suggest you go to www.radioblogclub.com and search the bands there.
You can also listen to other people's radio blogs, which often have music from similar genres.
OKay, me and my best friend got in this really big fight over the one thing we said we would never fight on, which is BOYS.
Well she has a boyfriend, and I don't and I could careless because this kids a fag. Literally.. he likes it up the poophole! Well when she asks me for ym advice and I tell her yehh he would probably bend over for a man she started telling me how he said he loves her. and how she hasn't said it. And somehow we got in a fight about me being right all the time.
AND I AM!
Is it my fault noo.. and shes telling me to stay out of her relationship hmm well if she didnt place it in my hands I wouldnt have to. but she came to me for help! and I toldher what I thought. and she gets mad at me... well she takes my word as gold. And im the same age as her. Im like her frkn role model!!! I dont wanna be.
So I told her this... she didnt appreciate it.
What do I do?
[[its alot more complicated then this but fuck it.]]
A guy is not literally a "fag" because he "likes it up the poophole". In fact, a lot of guys do enjoy this (giving anal sex) because it's tighter than the vagina. The only way your friend's boyfriend would be gay (let's refrain from derogatory terms, here) is if he didn't like girls at all, and that, frankly, is something only he would know.
When your friend comes to you for help on one issue (say, she doesn't know how to respond when her boyfriend tells her he loves her), she has a right to get mad if you tell her irrelevant, factless information such as "yeah he'd bend over for a man." She's coming to you for advice and you are judging her.
I'd suggest to lay low around her for a while, and not to go yelling things like "I"m always right" and "you're boyfriend's gay". When she asks for your advice, try to put yourself in her shoes, even if you don't particularly like the guy. If you are genuinely worried that her boyfriend is gay and that she's in trouble for this reason, you could express your concerns in a friendly way then back off. However if you keep pointlessly declaring this to everyone, you're just hurting her for no reason whatsoever (and getting between them).
If you don't want to be your friend's role model, and don't want to listen to her problems with her boyfriend, just tell her this... but not in a mean way. If you told her this in a mean way after dissing her bf you might want to apologize and learn to think a tad more before you say anything else to her.
So i like this guy and hes really experienced and i have never kissed a guy and he likes me but thinks im experienced. I never lied and told people i did stuff, but everyone just assumed...what do i do? He asked me on a date, but were not together. AHH
14/f
Well if you're not together and he's asked you out, that's probably because he wants to get together with you =]. It's okay if you're not experienced. If he's a decent guy, that won't matter. Just relax, be yourself, and if he does anything that you wish to reciprocate, just follow his lead and imitate what he does (if it comes to a point where you'd like to kiss him and he goes in to kiss you) until you get the hang of it.
my boyfriend of a yr and a half sexually assualted me. we broke up in november. a good guy friend of mine has liked me for awhile now, about 5 months? anyway.. he asked me out recently, and i said i didnt want anything serious right now. he understood bc he knows the situation. im startin to fall for him [again] and we basically act like we go out now except for the fact that we dont. im worried about being with him, because obviously along with relationships, comes the physical stuff. ive made out with him, but thats definitely as far as that goes. im worried about being with another guy because of what my ex did. obviously if i go out with my good friend, we wouldnt just jump into stuff because im not like that, it would take time. but the thought of that still scares me, i worry about what if we do end up lasting for awhile. i know he would want the physical aspect of a relationship, and honestly [most] people do. i know he would understand where im coming from, but i feel like eventually he would get tired of doing nothing, and we'd end up breaking up. help ??
Calm down. You're worrying about all of this way too much. It's fine, perfectly fine, and makes so much sense in your situation to take things slow. Think about what you are worrying about. Would you really want to be with a guy who would break up with you for not wanting sex (or feeling you up, or whatever you aren't comfortable doing)? If this guy has liked you for five months without anything physical, without actually being in an established relationship, he's probably not going to suddenly not like you because of your unease with more physical-ness. He's probably happy to be getting the physical-ness he IS getting from you, the making out, since you've just gotten out of a serious relationship not too long ago, and he knows this.
You could think about it another way, too: once you've been felt job, had some kind of more serious sexual experience with this guy, what else is there to do? Is he going to get bored because there is nothing else to progress to? Relationships don't bore people because of a lack of physical-ness. Let's just clear that up right now. The whole point of being in a committed, more long term relationship anyway is that you know that eventually you'll be slightly less passionate, but that's okay because you also know you enjoy talking to the person, going places with them, just being with them in general. That's all relationships come down to. That's why people even have the ability to settle down and live together until they are old and grey and have erectile dysfunction - I mean, it is love you're looking for, right?
Don't let this past relationship be a mark on the other ones. Don't worry about how your needs will affect some future scenario and just accept that they are your needs and move on with it. Honestly, I'd be so much more worried about this guy getting bored of you if all you did was let him get physical. Yes, that's exciting, but that's the stuff that ultimately gets old quickly with nothing else to back it up. And besides, you don't have to worry about this lasting. Just think of dating him as trying out something, because that's all it is in the meantime. If anything, ask yourself questions like "how much do I like him?" and "how much do we get along?". When it comes to the physical aspect, take things as they come. If his hands go under your shirt and you feel uncomfortable, say so, and don't worry about why you feel this way. Just feeling a certain way is perfectly justifiable, you don't need a reason, really. If it's bugging you, seek a counsilor/therapist of some sort to talk through the bad feelings coming from the sexual assault.
okay im sophomore and thinking i should be a veterinarian when i get older. But the thing is my grade is low like im in 2.6 range and i feel hopeless about it. So i wanna know what else is there like something about animals what kind of class should i take in college? and what job is there other than veterinarian? sorry if my grammer is bad
If you want to be a vet, next year you'd have to take academic gr 11 math, gr 11 physics, biology, and chemistry. The year after that you'd have to take gr 12 math (the double calculus course if it still exists by then), gr 12 biology, chem, and physics. Physics for both years is recommended for entering a first year biology course, so take it if you can, but the other courses are requirements (except the second gr 12 math, though that would probably help you for the physics), so make sure you take those. I'm pretty sure, to be a vet, you have to go to vet school after four years of university. Science courses in university would help you get to vet school, and high school science is required for university science.
Let's see. Jobs other than vet jobs. Literally, the list could fill pages. My suggestion to you is don't worry so much about the future, take the courses you like, and get off this site and study to pull your grades up.
Im 14/f and I have a boyfriend. But the problem is im not really happy with my boyfriend and I think I understand why. When my boyfriend asked me out I didnt expect him to for another week and I was going to use that week to think of my decision, but my friend convinced him to ask me out earlier and I ended up saying yes because he was being really cute and sweet about it.
The other problem is I think I still like this one guy I have liked for a while. This guy however is one of my best friends, he tells me everything and it kills me when girls hurt him and he gets really upset, we have gotten into conversations where we would bring up the possibility of us dating, and after a few jokes we'd both always say we see eachother as such good friends that we can always joke around with and have fun with that we'd never date. Ive slept over at his house a few times but once again we are really good friends so that was why. About a week ago he told me that if I did ask him to this one formal (i told him i was thinking about it cause we were both dateless) that he wouldve definately said yes and for some reason that got me really mad cause I kind of blew my chance.
I dont understand why this is happening cause we are such good friends and he'd never be interested in me. Is there anyway I can convince myself to get over the other guy and try to learn to be happier with my boyfriend?
You could learn to tolerate someone, or like someone as a friend, that you have no feelings for. But if you've just started a relationship with someone you have no feelings for, you can't force yourself to like them or love them, at least not in the romantic sense.
From reading this, you don't seem to have any feelings for your boyfriend. You could continue to try to make the relationship work for the sake of not letting him down or whatnot, but really, what would be the point? If you don't like your boyfriend and pretend to or force yourself to, that's not a real relationship. Yes, he would probably be hurt if you you told him you never liked him in the first place, or if you broke it off with him, but it's a lot better in the long run for both you and him to call it off. Be nice about it. You can tell him the truth. Something like "I'm not sure we should be together anymore. To be honest, I wasn't sure about going out with you in the first place, but you were so cute and sweet about asking me out that I didn't want you to feel bad" or something along those lines. Take note of this in the future, too: it doesn't matter how nice or cute a guy is, or even how much he likes you - if you don't have feelings for him, that's okay. Really. You should only be convinced to go out with someone if you genuinely like that person; otherwise things just get complicated. As you are finding out, you can't please all the guys that like you at once. So just do what's comfortable for you, date who you want to date, and be in only the relationships that you want to be in.
Hmm I didn't answer the second part of your confusion since it seemed sortof obvious. This guy friend of yours, the one that would never like you because you're friends... he seems to be developing a crush on you of some sort =]. Be honest with your boyfriend, and you'll have a lot more options in what you do about this new (or not so new) development. (oh come on, what were you expecting me to say, force yourself to be with someone you don't particularly like in that way for the rest of your life? That, my dear, is why there are few arranged marriages).
i wanna loose like a lot of weight and get in shape for the summer. alot.
anyways?
if possable i want like a work out that wont take a long time because i dont have a lot of time already because of sport and school work is hectic.
:] thankssss.
sit-ups or pushups right before bed/in the morning,
a quick bicep/tricep workout with weights,
the plank: lie on the ground with your toes curled under and your elbows bent under you. Rise so your weight is on your forearms, with a straight back. Stay for as long as you can handle it in your abs.. depends on the person, but for me personally I can't really do more than a minute. Yup. One minute a day really can tone your abs (or three minutes if you do three a day, ect).
I'm 14/f and recently my cousin was trying to get me to go out with this dude. And frankly, he doesn't seem to interest me at all. So this somehow ended up with me having until Thursday to choose whether or not to go with him. I was thinking of trying to get a person who I actually like during this time. Which means I need some way to socialize more. Or another way to get out of it is breaking it to the dude that I don't like him, and I have no idea how to do that without sounding like a...bitch. lol. So which should I do? Or is there another alternative? And whatever I do, is there any advice on how to make it happen with a positive outcome?
Getting a guy just to not have to date a guy you don't like is fairly unfair to the guy you'll have to find in the span of a few days, and you'll still have to break it to your cousin's friend that you aren't interested. It's not going to solve the problem, but complicate it.
You're 14, you've got years of dating ahead of you. Likely there will be tons of guys who you would never even look at falling all over you. Sooner or later you'll have to learn how to educate this boys in rejection. It's not being bitchy. Quite the opposite. It's being honest, and will save you lots of pointless relationships that you aren't happy with, and lots of making up really random excuses. It's also saving the guy who likes you a lot of time and effort. In these cases, honesty really is the best policy.
Don't be rude. Just say to your cousin, "I don't want to go out with [whatever his name is], because I don't think about him in that way." She can pass on the message (or just tell him this when you next see him).
Then you move on. So easy! Think of it this way: you're not responsible for the way he feels about you now, but you are if you lead him on.
stay with him or break it off i have been with him for 3 weeks almost 4 weeks but yeah i have kiissed him twice.and i want to take it reaklly slwo but guys from my past our comeing back in my life my ex boyfriend!is like i want to be with you again i miss you what should i do???
stay with this great guyor with the guy that i broke up with befor??ahh im so confuseing!plz help me
Depends. Your boyfriend wants to be with you, but do you actually want to be with him, or are you more worried about his feelings? I'm not sure the details of your relationship, but remember, you guys had some kind of problem that caused the relationship to end in the past, how do you know this won't cause the relationship to end again? You ended the relationship with your ex, presumably when he was still wanting to be with you. It seems sortof odd that you'd consider taking him back now when the situation is even more against that relationship, now that you are involved with someone else.
You should probably take a deep breath and figure out what you really feel about all this. It could be you're more reacting to how your ex feels about you than actually wanting to get back together with him.
16/f
ok so. i know i sound really stupid asking this question but i really need to know what i should do. and it's gonna be pretty long so if you take the time to read this question and give me advice that would be AMAZING.
basically, im 16 and i like 5 GUYS. yes 5. haha i know that sounds really funny and stupid but it's kinda a big problem. like i've liked more than one guy at a time now but usually i've kinda made up my mind and like developed a better relationship with like 1 of them. but this time i feel like all the relationships are getting better and closer to like more than friends so im so confused on what to do! my girl friends understand like the situation i'm in and like they are telling me it's fine to like more than one guy but that i should really make up my mind. like i don't really wanna make up my mind. i know this sounds bad but i'm not really interested in a relationship right now. i had a year long relationship all year last year and i'm kinda sick of the boyfriend-girlfriend thing. anyways, advice on if i need to pick one of them/who i should pick?
here's a little more about the guys..
GUY A: ok. he doesn't go to my school so i don't see him very often. i mean i could see him every weekend if i wanted to but i just haven't. he's really cute and like i really like him when i'm hanging out with him and stuff. he likes me too and he asked me out like a week ago but i told him i wasn't really sure about who i liked at the moment. he was fine with that. we text all the time and sometimes talk on the phone. he's so cute and i feel like we have so much in common.
GUY B: ok this guy also goes to a different school.here's the problem. this guy also likes me but he is best friends with GUY A. i like GUY B a lot but the thing is he's not very attractive. i know that sounds bad but when i don't find someone attractive it's harder for me to like them. i really like him when i'm talking to him on the phone and stuff but i just don't like him that much when we're hanging out. he's kinda awkward too. he's also friends with the guy i went out with for a year so it would be kinda mean of me to date him. i really like him though and i can trust him with anything and everything.
GUY C: ok. aslkgjalskjdasg this guy is the most confusing guy i've ever met in my life. but i love it. it's so fun and like he's so mysterious. i like can't figure out what's going on in his head. i've known him for a long time. he goes to a different school than me. i've liked him on and off. but whenever i see him, which isn't very often, but i could see him more often, i always start liking him again. there's just something so cute about him. like i can't explain it. anyways, i like hooked up with him a few months ago and it was totally out of nowhere because i know he's never made out before and so i was his first time? so that must mean something right? he's definetly had other chances. he like flirts with me a lot but he's like confusing because he flirts with EVERY girl. i'm like not sure if he likes me or not. but i was talking to him on aim the other day and he was like 'hows GUY D?' and i was like 'what?' and he was like saying that he saw our convo on facebook or something (we were like flirting or whatever) and i was like 'oh...he's really good :)' just to see if it would piss him off. so then he was like 'do you like him?' and i was like i dont know.. i like a bunch of guys. and then he was just like ok gtg bye. like it seemed like he was mad because he's always like love you bye and stuff like that. i think he got mad either because he thought i liked him or because he thinks i like GUY D. i talk to GUY C a lot on aim but we never text or talk on the phone. he tells me he wants to hang out with me all the time but he never really calls me anymore. idk if thats because he feels like if he calls me to hang out i will think he likes me.. or what? should i like make the first move and text him or something? we used to talk on the phone sometimes and text. ugh. HES CONFUSING. but i like it. its more of a challenge compared to the other guys that i like already know like me.
GUY D: he goes to my school. he's one of my best guy friends. i went out with him 2 summers ago. he like flirts with me all the time and he like makes suggestions that he wants to hook up. we text and talk on aim all the time. he's really cute and i have fun talking to him. i hung out with him yesterday for the first time in awhile and it was really fun :)
GUY E: ok this is getting ridiculous already i know. this is the last one i promise. anyways, he goes to my school too and he's like good friends with GUY D. and he like knows that GUY D wants to like hook up with me and stuff. but he's really cute and he's also one of my good guy friends. i see him at school a lot and we talk a lot. we text sometimes. he's really cute like he holds my hand sometimes and like i dont know. he does that to a lot of girls though. hes the touchy kind of guy. i'm not really positive if i like him or not but i hung out with him yesterday too and we like flirted a lot or whatever but thats just how he usually is.
HELP!?
Based on what you've written, I'd conclude that you seem to like Guy C the most. The other guys you briefly discussed as being cute, friendly, people you mildly like (though you seemed a bit turned off by guy B). Guy C you devoted at least 3X the space of each other mention, and seemed genuinely worried about how he feels about you, how to ask him out, whether he likes you or not. And you seemed to actually care about how he feels about this whole confusing 5 guy scenario much more than anyone else.
He's more of a challenge, not because he's any more complex than any other guy on this list, but because you seem to have some actual feelings towards him besides mild attraction.
That said, I'm not so sure you should ask this guy out, or any guy on the list. As you said in the intro paragraph, you aren't interested in a relationship right now. You are confused about you're feelings and you KNOW this.
Take a deep breath. Relax. You don't NEED to be in a relationship right now. It's okay to be single. Having to choose right now will either put lots of guys (and yourself) through a bunch of half-hearted pseudo relationships. If it helps, you could always just tell these boys something like "I was in a year-long relationship last year, and I'm not into having a relationship right now." It's pretty fair to the guys you like, and will let them know what to expect, or not to expect from you.
I guess it all depends what you want. If you are looking for a hookup with no strings attached, you probably wouldn't choose, say, guy C, since there actually seem to be some complicated feelings brewing there. If you're trying to figure out how to ease yourself into some sort-of relationship, take it slower, slowly avoiding contacts with guys you like less (ie guy B).
While those are options you could choose, in my opinion you're not ready for either a relationship or a hook up. A lot of these guys you don't actually like that much anyway, you're just sortof stringing them along for lack of anything better to do. Don't. Honestly, if you're going to make a decision, make it. If you don't want to at this exact moment, stop fooling around. A lot of these guys you could drop pretty easily as they don't go to your school or anything anyway, but you're purposefully keeping them involved with your life. If you want to have some sort of interaction, in your state of indecision, keep it in the bounds of friendship. If they tell you they like you and want you to tell them who they like, you could always just say you aren't ready for a relationship, or something, to get them to back off.
What's your advice on a relationship that has many many bad moments. The good moments are limited but when it's good, it's amazing. I'm not sure if it's worth staying in this relationship for the few amazing moments.
It sounds like you already answered your question when you were asking it. Of course, you want to hold on to a relationship if you've had good times in it and you still love the person. But realistically, when there are more bad than good times, why would you want to keep holding on when you could find someone else that makes you more happy than sad? Holding on when something's already gone is just prolonging the inevitable.
ok
so i need some song ideas for my myspace
what are some songs that explain that you miss someone, or that you loved someone but now you are broken up.... stuff like that
i rate
thanks in advice ♥ ♥ ♥
somebody's me - enrique iglesias
when you're gone - avril lavigne
ok so i'm 19/f
and i am addicted to porn...... i knw it sounds gross... but i can't seem to get off anymore..... no matter what... i reach climax and all but it's not the same....
how do i get rid of this addiction and get that "flare" back!
--embarrassed
Get rid of all your porn vids, on the internet, in your closets, ect. To ban certain sites from your computer, install noscript at http://noscript.net/. Where the "S" icon appears at the bottom right of the screen, you can select to ban certain sites from working on your computer.
Whats are the best exercises to get rid of fat on your inner thighs!? i do lunges but they dont seem to work..
Lunges are good for this... have you tried carrying weights while doing lunges? This helps quite a bit.
I'm not sure how much you have access to this, but there's this machine at the gym where you move your legs outward, pushing away a bunch of weights.
Otherwise, I would recommend more aerobic exercises, if you're trying to lose weight and aren't as concerned with gaining muscle (lunges are pretty good for the muscle part).
Things like running, dancing, or joining some sort of athletic team/club would get rid of fat in general, and the running and dancing would just help in general with the leg area.
i'm 15/f
and i want a flat stomach
like my stomach's not flat i just have a pouch
like i want abs but i don't want them as big as a guys
and i've heard either sit ups or crunches don't help it makes your pouch worse/bigger
and it can also make you have a bad back
but i can't member which on it is
what other excericies(sp) can i do??
and do crunches and situps really help??
Crunches and situps do help. They can put stress on your neck, but usually it's not too much of a worry. Ways to reduce this are putting a blanket under your back, then tucking your arms behind the blanket and your head - the blanket will support your head to reduce strain on your neck. You could also do the half sit-ups instead of the whole ones, so your back isn't strained. Honestly, though, the neck thing usually isn't a huge deal. I've done a hundred at once without feeling too strained (well, my abs felt it, but that's another story).
One thing with situps is that a lot of people don't do them properly. Make sure, when you are doing situps, that you are using your abs to lift your body, and aren't swinging your body or using your arms to help you.
Other exercises you could try are the side sit-up (sit ups where you start on your side, exercises the side muscles), situps when your feet are off the ground to various degrees, or situps where you place your hands behind your head and touch your right elbow to your left knee and vice versa (you could also do this with the feet of the ground). The best type of situp is done at an angle on an exercise ball, or on an uphill slant (they have machines for that at the gym, but you could also make your own by tucking your legs over a chair or another higher up object so that your back leans at an angle).
Substitutes to the sit-up are the plank, burpees, and "supermans". The plank is done by placing the fore-arms or hands on the ground (start with the fore-arms as this is the easiest. Your body should be stretched out with your toes curled under. Levitate yourself off the ground and keep your back straight for 30 seconds and gradually increase the time. The burpee is when you jump up, drop to all fours on the ground (toes and hands touching the ground, knees off the ground), then, keeping in this position, move your legs from the all fours position to further out. Move legs back to all fours position, then jump up again. Supermans: lie flat on the ground with arms extended. Wait a second, then raise head, arms, and legs, keeping stomach on the ground, for five seconds. Drop body parts. Repeat. For more of a work out, keep your arms by your sides.
I've got some more exercises but I've written so much already. You could also just join a sports team and you'll likely learn all of these =]
i have just a little cellulite in my upper thighs, not too noticeable, but i want to prevent it from getting noticeable. besides dieting, what kind of work outs would help to lose weight in my thighs? thanks
running - good for making you leaner all around
Strides - particularly good for this area, work best when you hold light weights while doing them
leg presses - requires going to the gym, but your thighs will gain muscle
Other things to try could help involve joining some club/team at school that involves moving in some way. Sports teams will help and are lots of fun - good for meeting people, too. You could also try dancing, which works out your legs like crazy and also helps you get more toned, muscular thighs and calves.
13/f
My brother is 10 years old and he bugs me so much! I know everybody has to deal with this but I want it at least a little easier. Well he only comes in and starts talking to me about something random when I'm on the phone. Then when my friends come over he wants to hang out with us. But when I'm not doing anything like that he just would leave me alone. Except for when I am on the computer and he tries to take it from me. I don't bother him or do anything when he is hanging out with his friends but I don't know how to deal with this.
Sounds like he's just trying to annoy you. Have you talked to your parents about this? Getting them to help you may be very useful, as they can do all sorts of helpful things like, say, ask him to help out with a household chore when you are on the phone. Other things you could try are ignoring him when he purposefully is trying to get on your nerves. When he attempts to steal the computer, either say you'll be off in a time period (ei ten minutes), or make it clear that you got the computer first, and won't ever give it up when this is the case. Ever. He'll learn (sounds harsh, but really works for younger siblings). You could also do something like tell your parents you're doing work on the computer (if you are) and that you're brother's being annoying. They'll likely be very sympathetic if work is involved =]
Well , lets just say i let my jelousy take complete control over myself . Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year now [ in a bout a month anna half we will be ] . But i am still just as jelous and insecure as i was just starting to get in the relationship . I seriously don't know why i am , he has not done anything to make me feel like i shouldn't trust him , or be mad when he talks to girls , but i just am ! i hate when he talks to other girls but then i again he doesnt like [ certain ] boys but he has a reason as so do i . But i just need help because im scared if i havent gotten over it in a year where the hell is it going to stop ? We can never go through one day with out me bringing up past things or getting mad about something , but he's the laid back one . Any help please ?
Maybe a good solution to this would be just to not bring up anything that has to do with your jealousy (ei. I saw you talking to so and so), mentally or otherwise. If you start thinking of something that involves him doing something that piques your jealousy, mentally find the root of your anxiety, and then argue with yourself until you convince yourself that there is nothing to worry about. It sounds cheesy but it actually works - seriously, the wonders you learn in therapy. Basically, say you get a thought "oh no, he's talking to julia who is really pretty and so much more like him than I am... what if he secretly wants to be with her?" Then you think about your reasons behind this... maybe they both like star trek, or dress in all black, wow, I'm making your boyfriend sound really weird... maybe they like the same music, or maybe he sees her a lot in the hallways, whatever. Then you look at the flaws to these arguments. Say, he sees her a lot in the hallways, but they are obviously unattracted to each other. Or maybe you come to realize mentally, that although they may have certain things in common, you two are more compatible for other reasons. Then you think of the good times between you and your boyfriend, how much he appreciates you when you're together. Bring up, in your mind, all the good stuff he does for you, all the reasons you have for knowing there is nothing to worry about in terms of him cheating or him liking anyone else. And you just do this, every time you have one of these thoughts.
Yes, it is important to share what's bugging you in a relationship, but if it's the same stuff and stuff that you already know isn't a big deal (ei he isn't being overly flirtatious or cheating), it's best not to bring it up, because there's no point and will do nothing but cause unnecessary stress. You already know that it should be okay for him to talk to other girls, so all you need to do is fix the problem from your end.
The jealousy will end when you learn to control your thoughts and paranoias, which takes time, but isn't too difficult in the long run.
I need help. To start of there are two guys that i really like and they like me also and one guy is always tryin to get to know me better but at the same time he keeps trying to get in my jeans and i'm not sure if he totally respects my wishes and at the same time he cares about me so much and he like calls me every day and things like that and he's more like a boyfriend than just a dude that i like. and well the other guy is not as caring and nurchring as he should be but he respects my wishes and he likes me alot too but he hardly ever calls me. and well ima put it this way he's a great kisser.
WHO WOULD I BE BETTER OFF WITH?
Which one do you like, honestly like, are actually emotionally attached to enough to want to date like? Honestly, if you don't know the answer, you probably don't have enough preference to date either. I'd give it time for your feelings to develop more. Who cares if they like you and only you? It's gotta work both ways, hun.
But if you really want my opinion on these guys, anyway... I'd say that calling you every day isn't always a good thing. It shows that he's pushy, even though you're not dating him. That combined with the trying to get into your jeans makes him sound like a creeper you should stay away from, from your brief description.
If the other guy is less "caring and nurturing" it's probably because he's less pushy. He may call a girl more, say, if he's in a relationship with them. It may also be he's just more of a laid back guy that isn't as big on the calling. Which is alright, but it might not work completely if you're more high maintenance/you don't ever communicate your wish to be called more.
Normally I'd get you to decide, as I sorta did with my first blurb, but now I'm just gonna say definitely not the first guy. You don't want to be with someone who you doubt will respect you, ever. It's just not a good situation to be in.
So I'm pretty much the most good goody you have ever seen. I'm 16/f. I have a 4.0 GPA. I am chosen to be in senior classes even though I am a shophmore. I do everything when I am suppose to do it and how I am supposed to do it. I have never drank, did drugs, or had sex. But I am so sick of being the same old boring me. All of my friends believe in no sex before marrige. Well now I'm starting to think sex before marrige isn't so bad as long as it's with someone you care about. Well I really want to change into someone who has a little more fun. No drugs though. But will I ruin my reputation? Is it worth the risk to ruin something like that? I am really tore. But I know I'm not one of those who wants to go out every night and get wasted. I just want to live some of my high school years in fun. It's not like I'm a dork either. I was prom queen my freshman year. I was homecoming attendant our first year. I'm "popular" I guess you would say. But anyways should I try it? Or should I just stick to the goody goody I am?
Ahh, you'd be surprised how many people out there wish they could do everything they're supposed to =].
Will letting yourself loose damage your reputation? Depends how you do it. It's one thing to change your stance on sex before marriage and one day have it with someone out of wedlock, quite another thing to go and do every guy in your grade.
My advice to you would probably to try new things and hang out with different people. Stay within your limits - I'm not suggesting you try drugs because those could actually have consequences you may not enjoy, just things like, get to know someone you don't particularly, join a club/team at school you'd never consider joining. It is possible to try new things and change yourself without risking much.
It's probably a good thing to get out there, experience different things. That's what being a teenager really is about, anyway... Sounds like you're fairly popular, so why not try going out somewhere with newer people? Or plan one of your own parties at your place? I'm not advocating the drugs/sex part of it, you understand, but being more social and exploring different parts of yourself are good. Read some different books, listen to different music, paint a picture... be creative. That kind of stuff. But don't put yourself down for being too good. While you are on your expedition for self exploration, remember always to feel proud of the stuff you have accomplished so far.