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Jelousy .
Well , lets just say i let my jelousy take complete control over myself . Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year now [ in a bout a month anna half we will be ] . But i am still just as jelous and insecure as i was just starting to get in the relationship . I seriously don't know why i am , he has not done anything to make me feel like i shouldn't trust him , or be mad when he talks to girls , but i just am ! i hate when he talks to other girls but then i again he doesnt like [ certain ] boys but he has a reason as so do i . But i just need help because im scared if i havent gotten over it in a year where the hell is it going to stop ? We can never go through one day with out me bringing up past things or getting mad about something , but he's the laid back one . Any help please ?
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wow hun its ironic because i have this same problem. first off let me tell you, this isnt abnormal. EVERYONE is jelous whethers its in a relationship, or anything else. secondly, this is something you work on, step by step because i understand u must love him alot you wouldnt want anything or anyone to take his love away from you, which is why you are jelous of him hanging with other girs and whatnot. have you talked to him about this? well if you have i suggest you let him know he should help you. hopefully u guys spend much time together on the phone or face to face. its not fair to control his life, put yourself in his shoes. what would you do if he was the jelous one and how would you react? ask your self these Q's and answer them. that might open your eyes. hope i helped good luck =)
Belkis =)
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Maybe a good solution to this would be just to not bring up anything that has to do with your jealousy (ei. I saw you talking to so and so), mentally or otherwise. If you start thinking of something that involves him doing something that piques your jealousy, mentally find the root of your anxiety, and then argue with yourself until you convince yourself that there is nothing to worry about. It sounds cheesy but it actually works - seriously, the wonders you learn in therapy. Basically, say you get a thought "oh no, he's talking to julia who is really pretty and so much more like him than I am... what if he secretly wants to be with her?" Then you think about your reasons behind this... maybe they both like star trek, or dress in all black, wow, I'm making your boyfriend sound really weird... maybe they like the same music, or maybe he sees her a lot in the hallways, whatever. Then you look at the flaws to these arguments. Say, he sees her a lot in the hallways, but they are obviously unattracted to each other. Or maybe you come to realize mentally, that although they may have certain things in common, you two are more compatible for other reasons. Then you think of the good times between you and your boyfriend, how much he appreciates you when you're together. Bring up, in your mind, all the good stuff he does for you, all the reasons you have for knowing there is nothing to worry about in terms of him cheating or him liking anyone else. And you just do this, every time you have one of these thoughts.
Yes, it is important to share what's bugging you in a relationship, but if it's the same stuff and stuff that you already know isn't a big deal (ei he isn't being overly flirtatious or cheating), it's best not to bring it up, because there's no point and will do nothing but cause unnecessary stress. You already know that it should be okay for him to talk to other girls, so all you need to do is fix the problem from your end.
The jealousy will end when you learn to control your thoughts and paranoias, which takes time, but isn't too difficult in the long run.
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Hey. so yea the way your acting is completely natural. The majority of girls are like this. Unfortunetly there isn't a magic cure but I csn give you some things to think about to make you a little more relaxed. First off he loves you and that is apparent because you have been going out for so long. you don't stay with a person for that long if you do not truly love them. This means that the chances of him cheating on you are slim to none because he loves you and wouldn't want to hurt you. also as a guy he probably feels the same sort of jealosy about you when your with other guys. guys are just less likely to express the feeling because the don't want to seem insecure. All in all I think that you will definetly get over your jelosy and until then just know that it's natural. Hope this helped :-)
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