Hi! I will answer any of your questions or problems, big or small and in complete confidence. I have had a lot of success in helping people in the past and hope I can help you too! Look forward to hearing from you soon!
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Member Since: December 8, 2004
Answers: 293
Last Update: June 12, 2005
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karenR
hailebop
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okay, i really need some help. One of my best friends is dating a 24 year old!!! and she is ONLY 16. They only talk on the phone though and see eachother maybe once a month at most. It's totally unhealthy.. I'm really scared for her because every time they do see eachother, theyve gone further and further, sexually. They've only made out, hes sucked her boobs, hes fingered her, and theyve had "dry sex" or w/e.. This has been goin on for about 4 monts now.. Ive tried several times talking to her about it, but I just dont know what to do anymore.. please help (link)
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The problem is that with this age gap it might be likely that she will develop stronger feelings that he wil, although that isn't always the case. Because she is 16 it is up to her whether she has sex or not and the really difficult thing is that when you start seeing someone, you often get so wrapped up in your own feelings that you don't take advice. Have you tries talking to her? You have to make her understand in the nicest way possible that he is 8 years older than her. Is she grown up for her age? You have to ask her to question why he has chosen someone her age and not his. It will be very difficult to try and say these things to her without her taking them the wrong way. You really need to let her know that you are her friend and you will support her but she rally needs to understand that something might go wrong. Do you know any of his friends and could ask them if he is serious about her, if he is cheated on her?? Why do they see eachother once a month? Is that him making the decision to only see her once in a while?
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okay hi its me again.
You wanted me 2 give you more info so here it goes. Lets see... ther e is a rumor im a lesbo but she said she didnt believe it... becuase im not of course. me and her were best friends we had jsut had the funnest time shopping ever like 2 days earlier.
Ummm... lets see she always is trying to get me away fro ym friend i dont know if it is intentional but now that she knows i cant stand to be around her along time because i wil lget upset she will come up to me and my ( and her ) friends when im there making me leave... i hate it. thats all i cant hitnk of
-beccers_boo (link)
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You seem like you've been friends with her for a while so its obvious that you're not a lesbian as if you were she would know about it by now! a lot of people who spread these rumours are actually doing it because they are jealous of people having best friends. There was a girl like that at my school and she spent all her time making other peoples life hell because she couldn't stand them being happy. It was because she was really unhappy herself so didn't want anyone else to be either. I think your friend doesn't want you hanging around this other girl because she's either jealous that this girl might become your best friend, or doesn't think she's a very good person to be friends with. Have you tried talking to her about it? Try letting her know that she is your best friend and nothing will change that, but even if you have a best friend you are still allowed to have other friends too. As long as you continue to meet up, go shopping etc together it ill show her that you mean what you said. If you are around this other friend with your best friend perhaps mention what a great time you and your best friend had the other day. The sooner you talk to your friend about it the sooner things will work out! And by the way, take no notice about the lesbo rumours-they don't mean anything! If you really want to piss the person off who spread them, then just totally ignore the umours and laugh about them with your bst friend! Don' worry, everything will work out, I hope I've been of some help.
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hi im almost 16 and my parents never told me straight up if i can date or not but they know i have anyways i want to bring a guy home how do i ask my mom or should i just bring him or wat i dont want to make my bf feel weird or my parents but this is the thing my bf doesnt speak the language my parnts do he only speaks english and my parents only understand but they cant speak help me out i rate good thanx (link)
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First of all its not up to your parents to tell you if you can date or not. They probably can't wait til you bring your first boyfriend home. So what if he only soeaks another language. I think it will be fine if you bring him home! Ask your parents first and then maybe just invite him over during the day first if you think that inviting him over for supper is bit too personal to begin with.
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i think i might have breast cancer. there is a lump in my breast and i don't know how to tell my parents or my boyfriend. i dont want to go to the doctor until i am for sure that i might have it. I don't know what to do! please help me!!! (link)
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How old are you? A lot of people think they have lumps especially just before or after they get their period. Has it grown in size since you found it? The best thing to do would be to go to the doctore and then you can put your mind at ease. They will be glad you have come to see them as it shows you are sensible and aware of the importance of checking yourself and checking anything you are worried about.
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First off, I am a girl, and I am dating another girl. Now on to the problem. Ive been dating Molly almost 11 months now. A few months ago, things got really rocky between us, so we took a short break, and things got alot better, and we didnt fight or anything. Now, about 2-3 weeks ago, she, just out of the blue, says she wants a break, a longer one, and when I asked why, she said she didn't know how she felt anymore. She says she is starting to fall out of love with me, and that she needed space so she could work it out. It was really hard for me, at first, but now I am getting better. Now the thing is, she is sending mixed signals. Sometimes it seems like things may be getting better, others, not so much. She even tells me that I can 'do stuff' with other girls, should I choose to (I dont want to) and then when I hang out with someone that something could potentialy happen with, I think she gets kinda jelouse (but I'm not sure if I am reading signals wrong). Now I have 2 questions: The whole doing stuff with other people. Is she testing me? Or possibly she wants to not feel so guilty if things dont work? And my second question is, How long should I wait for her? Our one year is January 20th. Im only 17, I have invested a year of my life into our relationship, I am not ready to give up yet. What can I do? (link)
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She can't expect you to be ok with taking another break or doing things with ither girls without giving you a valid reason why. You need to talk to her properly and ask her whether she does or doesn't want to be with you. If she doesn't want to be with you anymore then its best to get it over and done with now otherwise you will just get more and more upset as time goes by.
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okay, so im 13 and im really small like my body is and im only like 5"4 i weigh bout a little over 100 pounds and im not trying to be arrogant but im really fit. The only thing is my boobs are really big. I wear a D cup bra and even when i wear sports bras they like look really big anyways theres a lot of problems. Im majorly into sports and they get so much in the way and they make my back hurt really bad. Second of all I always get hit on by like way older guys and I dont want that because im a really christian person with a strong faith and its just wrong. Then theres also the problem that like a whole bunch of guys like me and the only reason is because of my boobs, and theres been like a whole bunch of rumors that i had a boob job which is NOT true at all and a lot of girls dont like me because of them because they get jealous that the guys at our school really like me even though i tell them i dont like any of them. Then i also have stretch marks and i dont know how to get rid of them??? can someone please tell me about any really good bras that will like hide them or help support them, cause ive talked to my dcotor and they just gave me this pain medicine to keep them from hurting when they put strain on my back and stuff and also to hide them from perverted guys that im tired of dealing with?? please help me (link)
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Ok. You can get minimiser bras that help make your boobs look smaller. You also need to go for a proper fitting and get a bra that fits you properly. A lot of women suffer back problems because their bras don't fit properly. By getting certain bras ie: not balcony bras or ones that give you a cleavage, you won't therefore have much of a cleavage and it will seem you have slightly smaller boobs. As for the guys, or should I say perverts, where higher cut tops or a jumper if they're around. Almond oil is good for scars/stretch marks but the best thing I've found is cocoa butter for stretch marks twice a day.
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umm after im finished playin basketball or volleyball, im usually sweating a lot. my face also is very red after practice. is there any way that i can keep my face from being so red? o ya and im 13/f. (link)
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Try drinking lots of water. You should drink 1.5-2 litres of water a day to stop the body from being dehydrated and you will therefore need to drink more if you are doing sport. Your face is going bright redd cos you are overheating so drinking water, especially really cold water, will help cool you down.
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I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with my boyfriend lately. I've been with him almost 6 years and we have 1 child together, our 1 year old son. My boyfriend is usually an all around nice guy who is family oriented and fun to be with. He is a dedicated worker and family man. But lately he seems self-destructive. Keep in mind he works two jobs so he is working 17 hours 5 days a week which he's been doing over a year now. He gets NO sleep, maybe 2 hours a night. That could be what's getting to him. But he is unwilling to make a change. I told him he either needs depression medication or a job change or both. So he's been extremely mean to me lately, turning everything I say upside down and picking fights with me in front of our son. He seems to not be caring about anything and he's so cold and hard inside. I prefer not to say exactly what, but he's been getting into something substance related, he's having like a relapse of our old party days or something, he's got the wrong friends. He actually took something out in front of our child and I had to pull him from his high chair and take him in the other room. He's like, "what, he doesn't know what's going on." and I'm like, "it' doesn't matter it's the act." Also, he smokes cigarettes and I hate cigarettes and we have an agreement not to smoke in the house. But he's been smoking in here anyway after I go to bed. I don't believe me and my child should have to suffer for his bad habit, he should take it outside. He knows my wishes but goes behind my back anyways. He would normally never do this. I'm not a mean girlfriend, just a good mother. So this is totally not normally him and I don't understand what is happening here. All he does is bitch about life and say how he's going to die early and stuff and I'm so sick of it now. He never wants to do anything anymore with us as family. I don't want our son growing up in this environment, but also, I really love and care about my boyfriend and know that something deep inside him is really wrong and I would hate to turn my back on him, but am tempted to kick him the fuck out, he's really pressing my buttons, it's like he's seeing how far I will go with this. Also, our sex life is nothing to complain about, just so you know. Is this something we may be able to get passed or is this an ending he has created and he's going to lose everything that's good in his life? I know it's up to him to make a change, but how much should I take? Once it's over with us, that's it, it's over, that's why I am putting off the end until whatever sets me off, sets me off. Please help. (link)
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I think your boyfriend has to realise how much you and your son mean to him. Because he is so tired and exhausted he is getting low and perhaps seems an easy target for his old friends to reappear and give him something to 'help take all his problems away'. This obviously is not what he really wants but he's still sticking with it for now. I bet you cook and clean for him? If he doesn't talk to you then you have to take drastic action. Don't end it yet or kick him out. Have you got a friend or family you could go and stay with for a week or maybe two? By doing this you will give him time on his own to, not only realise what a mistake he's making by getting into the drugs but also how much he depends on you without realising it. He will be lonely and he will want you back and its only then that he will realise what an asshole he is being. I don't think he can realise this with you around. Obviously talk to him about it first or if he doesn't listen, write him a letter. You can meet up during the week for lunch or dinner and talk about things, without the baby, and see if its helping and to see if he is coming to his senses. After the week/2 weeks he will realise how upset he's made you and you will be able to make up your mind about how you feel in the relationship.
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ok im in 7th grade and i have a 9th grade boyfriend and i never see him!!! he went to a party tonight at the movies and i couldnt go bc my mom wouldnt let me.. but he could and this one gurl that i think likes him went too and i dunno if he'll do something with her..shes in 8th grade.. i dont know what to do!? I rele rele like him but everybody says i should dump him but i dont know.. i dont wanna hurt him because i feel if i was too brake up with him, id like him after a day and i would wanna be back with him but he'd say no, thats how i feel and hes so hot and nice but my friend wyatt who helps with anything says im gonna get hurt or hes gonna play me and that he think he likes other gurls..ugh i dont know what to do.. im so confused!! i Mean i love him to death but it just dont feel right i mean im soo attempted to flirt with other guys at my school ugh he prolly flirts with other gurls too...omg i dont wanna hurt him but i gotta do whats best:( what should i do? plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz help me...*Ashlee* (link)
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Why does it matter if you are in different grades? If he wanted to go out with someone in his year then he would have. But he chose you because he obviously really likes you and want s to be with you and no one else. Just because youre going out doesn't mean you have to do everything together. My boyfriend and I often have nights where I go out with my friends or he goes out with his. That doesn't mean that he is going to cheat on you. Why does everyone say you should dump him? Surely its up to you anyway. If you feel strongly about one another, which you obviously do, then you will be able to work it out.
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Hello everyone! My class is writing letters to men and women over seas who will not be coming home for Christmas. Except in your letter you cannot talk in offense to President Bush or opposing the war. I really do not see a reason why war should be mentioned in the letter. I'm anti-war but it does not matter. The fact is that these men and women will not be home for Christmas and that is depressing. I am an okay writter and I write decent letters. I really thought it would be eassier but I found myself making a million drafts, not being sure what to write in the letter. I will not know who will receive the letter... it is in general. If anybody has any ideas on what would be something to write in the letter please, please help me. Besides wishing them a Happy Christmas and Merry New Year. Thank you very much for your time and consideration! (link)
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Send them a letter full of gossip and funny stories that have happened in the news or jokes. The letter they will all want is one which is really entertaining. tell them hollywood gossip-who's been nominated for the golden globes, whos getting married, having a baby, getting divorced, died etc.. tell them about sport scores and things like that. Jokes and storylines from soaps will really entertain them
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my knees hurt like no other mother. they've been hurting like alll week. i'm in x-country and i'm like always about the 8th perosn to get back but like after i'm done running my knees get lke shacky and like i have to bend to stand. my coaches just say it's growing pains. what should i do b/c i don't know if they are or not. i put ice on them and took tyenol but it didn't help so please help me. i'll rate you (link)
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It sounds like it is growing pains. they will be painful and strange after doing x-country. If you go to the doctor, they can give you some special knee bandages that will support your knees while you are running so they won't be so painful afterwards.
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i've been friends with this guy for like... forever right? ok well, i'm really starting to like him and i don't know what to do about it. we're the kinda friends that hug every day, and he'll tell me i'm pretty and stuff, but still. i don't know if i should try ignoring my feelings or if i should try talking to him about it. a lot of my friends say i should ask him to sadies whenever that is. i think it's soon. so can somebody tell me what to do? i'd really appriciate the help. (link)
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I think it sounds like he does like you more than a friend. You have to be careful though and don't confront him until you've found out if he likes you back. have you asked him if there's anyone he likes at the moment? Maybe the party would be the perfect excuse to ask him....
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16/f.... this may be a stupid question, but what are those people called that you talk to about your problems and you tell them everything and then they give you advice and everything is confidential. They do it for a living. Nothing SERIOUS is going on in my life (ex. I'm not pregnant, I don't go drugs, I'm not a lesbian, etc.), but I feel like I can't talk to my parents (about guys or whatever) I never have and I probably never will. I'm an only child and I've been the center of their lives for 16 years and I hate it. I always have...I wish I can share the spotlight with someone, but thats not going to happen. Sometimes I wish they didn't care about me AS MUCH as they do. I feel like I need to go see one of those people because I've kept so much inside of me all my life and now I think I need to deal with a professional who can help me. And I'm afraid of a lot of things (I always have visions of disturbing things in my head, but thats a different story). How can I tell my parents I need one of those people without hurting them? (link)
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They are called psychiatrists (pronounced sy-ci-atrists)but they can be very expensive! Have a look on the internet to see if maybe they have free ones or they might even have one at your school. It's nothing to be ashamed about - nearly everyone will go and see one at some point in their life). If you want to talk to someone about your problems and feelings face to face then definitely go and see one but find out some details first. If you don't mind not talking to someone face to face then there might be a phone number helpline you can-in England there's the Good Samaritans, so there should be an equivelant fo you over there. Otherwise you can always talk to me if you want! I check my column everyday so would be able to write back quite quickly. Good luck and don't worry1
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Hi. OK, Some nights i get these staining feelings in my calf (i think it might be called a 'charly-horse' but im not sure) anyway i get them every once in a while like if i work out that day and i didnt stretch enough...but i havent worked out in like a week and i have been getting them a lot more than usual...i dont know why...they hurt so but, it feels like someone is trying to pull my muscle out, like i have to get up and stand on it or sqeeze it really hard for it to stop and there is still an after feeling and it even goes on till the next day....does anyone know what this is, and how i can stop them and how to make them feel better when they come....thanks! (link)
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yup! Its to do with your salt intake and its very common. I can't remember though if its because you're eating too much or too less salt so you'll have to find out that for yourself! Other symptoms are also when you wake u p in the middle of the night with cramp in your calf.
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My mom was mad at my dad because a few days ago he went to New York without letting my mom know (he works there he didn't run off). Then like a day later my mom went to go pick up my brother somewhere and my dad thought they were just going to the highschool to pick him up but then they went to another town to another town. My dad didn't know that and he had a meeting to go to so he told me to tell my mom when she came home. Well a couple hours later my brother calls and is like "Tell dad we're coming home now and that we're sorry we were so late," and I'm like dad is not here why didn't you call eailer. Well anyway I got mad and my brother put my mom on the phone and I'm like "You can't be mad at dad anymore for not telling you where he was going," and she got mad and didn't say anything so i apologized and sahe just said bye. Now I think my mom is mad at me and my question is how do I get her to forgive me? Thank you I'll rate fives just for reading this. (link)
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Ok. Your parents are arguing because they aren't seeing a lot of eachother at the moment. It's not because they don't love eachother anymore, its just the frustration with not being able to be together at the moment. I get that with my boyfriend as we study in different places and we argue just because we aren't talking face to face and its really frustrating. Your mum is just angry because she thinks you think its all her fault. You just need to let her know that you rally hate the arguing and that she and your dad need to sort out a day when they know they can spend some time together. Its also difficult around this time of year too, getting ready for Christmas etc.. don't worry, what's going on is nothing serious and if anything your Mum was probably taking it out on you because she was angry at herself for forgetting your dad had to go to work. She probably felt really guilty as soon as she put the phone down. Don't worry!!
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ok well right now i like two guys but the problem is i cant go out with either of them. one has a gf, lets call him bill, and the other one my friend likes, lets call him dave, and i think he likes her back. dave we met at the skating rink and now i think all of us like him but my friend, lets call her sam, get him because the rest of us like other people and she doesnt. bill has been goin out with his gf for 3 1/2 weeks and shes all he wants to talk about and its really annoying. neither of them know that i like them. also i just started likeing bill randomly. like the other day i just decided i like him and i hadnt talked to him for almost a year! it was really weird. and dave i just met last night and i like him. is this normal?what should i do about all this? ill rate you a five if u answer! thanks (link)
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Of course it's normal! I don't think you should do anything about it just yet as you have so many feelings running around your head. You need to get to know these guys before you really make your mind up as you know you can't have both of them!
You need to be really sure before you make your decision as if you react too quickly you may get the wrong reaction. Even if you give it a week things will change and you will be able to decide more easily.Good luck
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Okay i had my winter dance tonight and this guy asked me to dance. I was speechless and i couldn't say anything. Then he goes "you know what fine, whatever" and i'm like "no come back! Okay i will dance with you i will i'm so sorry!" but, he just ignored me. I had my friends go and ask him to dance for me but he ignored them. I went over and said "Okay i am really sorry and i wish i could take it back but will you dance with me?" He walked away and i knew i had really hurt him. My other friend went over and asked him why he was being like this. He said " you want me to just say okay and dance with her?" and she goes "yea just please she feels like crap come on. And he just screamed a her saying "TOO BAD!" Then i felt it the pain he had felt. I was so sorry but he wouldn't let me tell him. He just ran back into the croud. I looked for him all over but couldn't find him. Then the last dance came and i started to cry. He saw me and sad "now you know how i feel" and went away. Now i feel like CRAP!! i am so sad, and mad and i should have said yes. I am so sorry i need to tell him that but i dont have him # or his e-mail or anyother thing i could reach him by. I feel bad but i dont know why. If it was just a regular guy i would have been okay but its not it was one of my friends and i am so sad. Do i like him? What can i do for him to forgive me? Will he forgive me? Should i ask him to dance at our new dance coming up? i have no idea! Please Help!!!! I'll rate high!!!!! Thanks alot! xoxoxoxo HunnieBuns (even the advice columnist needs help) Just like me! (link)
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I think this guy really likes you and it took a lot of courage for him to ask you to dance. Its not your fault you reacted that way in the first place but you really need to contact him to explain what happened. Emailing would be good. The way he reacted shows he had his ego bruised and by shouting like that is just his way of dealing with it. Just write to him saying how sorry you were and how you just didn't expect him to ask you to dance. It would be a good idea to ask him to dance at the next dance but only once you've written to him as then he knows what to expect. You also need to work out if you really like this guy as more than a friend. If you don't then you also need to explain this in the letter.
Remember guys react like this when this sort of thing happpens and don't worry, he will have calmed down by now and probably really wants to hear from you. Good luck!
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okay well i have been talking to this guy online and on the phone almost every night for about a year and 1/2 and even though i have never actually physically met him i think i have fallen in love with his personality. we only live about an hour away and i am friends with his cousin who lives near me, so its very possible that we could meet whenever we wanted to. well i do want to meet him to maybe try to start a relationship, but the problem is that i sent him a fake picture of me. not just one fake picture, but i have sent him websites..TONS of fake picures saying that they were me. so now he has this image of a beautiful girl in his mind. its not that im afraid he will think im ugly at this point, but i am afraid to admit that i sent him alllll those pictures. its extremely embarassing.. and i didnt do it just once, ive done it ALOT!!! i dont know what to do..if i never meet him then it will break my heart and i think i will be missing out on something really great...what should i do? i know this is pathetic..please dont be rude i just need help!! (link)
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First of all, stop sending the pictures! You need to tell him as soon as possible. Could you blame it on a friend and sy you gave her pictures of you but she sent the wrong ones as a joke and you've only just found out? I you really want to meet him but are very nervous or shy then could your cousin have a party one weekend and invite you and some of your friends too?
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I recently lost my best friend ever... for the stupidest reason... well she didnt tell the whoel reason someone else did but she doesnt know that i know. She acts as if i messed it up but it was really all a set up... to drop me like a can of beans. She was only my friend beause she pittied me. But it just doesnt seem right. I mean we had just had the best time ever shopping. And then bam its all over. I dont know if it was peer pressure or if he really did jsut plan on dropping me. I cant get over it. i have tried 2 hard but it is really hard.
help (link)
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What exactly happened? If you tell me the whole story then I'll b able to help
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I recently ran into a guy who I have known since we were little kids.It's been a long time since we've seen each other,and I always had a crush on him when we were young,and I didn't wanna let myself feel it again but when we ran into each other it brought back all those feelings.Anyway,my BFF,tho I love her,she...well,sleeps around a lot,and she right away started saying how hot this guy is and how much she wanted to *get* with him.I asked her to please not do anything with him because I do still like him,and it would hurt my feelings a lot.She said she can't guarantee that she couldn't do it,and that she's "taking a chance" with him.Basically,she's gonna go 4 it anyway.She says he told her he couldn't date me because it's me(meaning we go back so far as friends and our families were real tight).And she tells me he asked if it was ok if he called HER sometime.But when we were all hangin together he was acting interested in me and seemed...less than amused or interested by her.It's breaking my heart that she's gonna do this.The thought of them together makes me sick to my stomach.I've had nightmares,been unable to sit still,felt sick to my stomach,all because I'm so upset over this.But she says she basically doesn't care,and that she's not gonna fight and I can "take it how I want".What should I do? Even the mere idea that he would be into her is mind boggling to me,and especially cuz he really wasn't all actin like that,he kept huggin me and talkin about old times,and he even talked to my mom on the phone for God's sake!And the idea that he would ever be into her makes me feel sick.I cried all night last night and all morning this morning. HELP!!Thanks,I'll rate ya! (link)
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Ok, are you sure he said that he didn't want to go out with you? or do you think your friend might have said that to put you off so she has an easier chance of being with him? I'm sure this guy must know about your friends reputation and even if the worst comes to the worst and something does happen between them, you know it wouldn't be anything more as he'll only be up for a bit of fun with her. The fact that he seemed more interested in you than her shows that he cares more about making an impression on you than her and obviously wouldn't want to cause you any upset. Have you tried telling him that this is what your friend has been saying about wanting to get with him?
Him saying he couldn't get with you seems like he's meaning right now. This doesn't mean it won't happen in the future. You need to concentrate on being friends with him and really getting to know him before taking a step further. Did your friend tell him you wanted to go out with him? If not then he probab;y does like you more than a friend but wants to see what your reaction is to what he said. It is obvious that he prefers your company rather than hers so stick at it and I'm sure it will work out. I'm sure he knows exactly what your friend is like.
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