thelaura's advice column

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

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Laura/22/England

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Do you think it's possible to "Fully" trust someone again after they have lost your trust?!?!?

Thanks

It's going to take a long time, but I like to think yes. People CAN change.

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has anyone made out with pop rocks? does it work weird?

I tried it once. Wasn't anything special apart from a few pops/crackles here and there. Was funny though, 'cause it hurt a bit too.. now THAT was weird :|

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hi. 15/m
i've known this girl for about a month. i met her at a football game. she's really pretty and just all around great. great personality, etc...all the good stuff.
so last night, at another football game, i asked her out. we'd been talking over aim/facebook since we'd met and i really like her.
well after i asked her she thinks for a minute, then turns to me and says "i need to think about it". then i give her a hug because i had to leave.
well i got a message from her this morning after i got home from saturday varsity swim practice that said "i really really really like you but i don't really want a boyfriend right now...not saying i wont in a couple weeks or months but i dont want it to be awkward around us..." etc.
well we've been talking litterally like....all day. and so i think what i'm trying to ask is do i try again in a couple weeks or what? i don't really have much experience with girls...i've only ever had one girlfriend and so idk if i should try again later or if i should look for someone else...

thanks a bunch
G.M.

*Respect her decision for the moment.
*Don't hassle her about it.
*If you still feel the same way in a 3/4 weeks, you could ask again.
It's quite hard to tell exactly what's going through her mind at the moment. I think if she definitely wasn't interested in you, she would have simply said "I don't want a boyfriend right now".. NOT "ask again in a few weeks"
If the same thing happens, I wouldn't wait for her.
Good luck though.

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alright. so im gettin a tattoo very soon. & i dont really know what i want. or where at. some places that i would like to have one is my foot, lower back, neck, right above the waist, or maybe even ankle. i was just looking at tattoos and i became interested in lip tattoos. I just want a cute, small girly tattoo.
question 1: does any have there lip tattooed? did it hurt??
question 2: Any ideas on where or what to get?
THANK YOU!!!!

p.s pictures are appreciated!

Do you mean inner lip tattoos?
I know someone with one. They said it hurt quite a bit because it's a sensitive area, but nothing too bad.
If you do go for one of those, you may need to get it re done because it can fade.
http://www.bmeink.com/bme-tatt.html
Look here for inspiration.

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i'm not an amazing artist, but i can draw somewhat well. i want to draw people for fashion designs, sort of like these.

http://www.fashiondesigncenter.org/fashion-design-collections.htm

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ccdd/9668231/

is there a website that explains how to draw like that? or can someone give me tips and help? thanks!

If you want to properly learn, you'll need a book which explains step by step. I have one and that's how I do it. There's so many different ways of drawing people and in different proportions to emphasize certain things. (like yours have very long legs).
Here's an example;
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fashion-Artist-Techniques-Portfolio-Presentation/dp/0473054388

There are some free templates you can print out and trace over and change to match your style:
http://www.fashion-templates.com/wp-content/images/anniekim33.jpg
http://www.fashion-era.com/fashion_templates.htm
http://www.fashion-templates.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/frontpage99.jpg
http://www.fashion-era.com/elegant_fashion_templates.htm
http://www.fashiontechniques.com/fig/drawing_fashion_figure.jpg
http://www.teachartathome.com/FashionTemplate.html
There's also sites which can help you draw the human figure;
http://figuredrawings.com/learn.html

For more, browse through

Hope I helped somewhat. :)

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Okay, well I've never used a tampon before, but I tried it the other day, and I wasn't sure how to insert it or where. I tried to stick it in, but it was really painful to get it in, to have it in, and to take it out. What am I doing wrong?

Nothing.
You've never used one before, so it's going to be uncomfortable until you practice putting it in 100% correctly. If your hymen is still well intact, it could be another reason it's painful - not to mention you probably tensing your muscles.
The key is to relax.
If you have a box of tampons, they should come with a leaflet. Read it.
If not, check these out

You'll get used to it eventually. You could even use a smaller size for the time being.

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Okay, so I was having the worst day pretty much and I was on facebook and I saw this kid lets call him Patrick[not his real name]'s facebook. I knew him a little bit because of my cousin and I knew a lot of his friends so I added him, and right after I did he messaged me. Okay to make a long story short; He said he saw me at this football game before, he told me all about his family[his gpa just died, and his parents/brother got mad at him] he also told me if he ever needed me he'd be sure to give me a call, and he said I could call him whenever, and then we talked more about the weekend and my family. Then he never answered something I said so two day's later I asked him if he was going to this football game and he said he was and asked if I was and I said yeah we should hang out unless you don't want to or if your in the cheering section the whole time, but if you wanna hang out just call me or find me[he ended up being in cheering section the whole time, and I saw him walking around at half time]. Then at like midnight he messaged me and asked where i was because he didnt see me, and were still talking over messaging. But the only thing is, is that he is a sophmore but could be a junior, and I'm a freshmen but I could be a sophmore, and idk if I even have a chance or if its worth it? I'm sorry if this is confusing, I can re-explain it if you want/or give you more detail, just tell me what you think.. like do I have a chance, is it worth it, or does he maybe like me? Thanks!

Why wouldn't it be worth it?
You seem to have his friendship already and if you'd like more than that, go for it.
It's impossible to tell if he likes you in that way, but if he wants to hang out, opens up to you and walks around looking for you, it seems like a good sign, right?

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Well there is this guy.
we were like best friends for a long time and i kinda fell in love with him.
i was sneaking around with him like 2 weeks ago and we always sneak around and fool around.

we had sex.

it just happened. we never hooked up after that and we just act as if nothing ever happened.
i love him and we are still good friends but im afraid that i was a bootycall or something.
before all of this happened, we talked on the phone for hours and he was saying how he had to lose his virginity before his birthday(sunday).
was i being used?
we just had sex and acted as if we never had sex.
its great that we have no awkward moments arond each other now.

so was i a bootycall?

Probably.
I'm basing this on
"before all of this happened, we talked on the phone for hours and he was saying how he had to lose his virginity before his birthday(Sunday)."
Only way to know how he really feels about the whole situation is to ask him personally. You never know, he could just be too embarrassed to bring it up.. which is why you should. You deserve to know what went on - so it won't happen again.

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my boyfriend and i have been dating for about 3 years and just now it went downhill like i had a bunch of family issues and have been depressed alot for no reason and i think hes gotten sick of it and ive been a total bitch and all i ever say i sorry i dunno what to do and we never talk anymore and we both agree we've both changed and we want it back the way we had it before when we were both happy with eachother. How can we do that ?

Thanks for your question.
If you both want to fix things, then start by spending some quality time together. You need to talk about how you've both changed and why. There must be reasons. Explain to him you'll stop acting how you have been too.
I can't advise you much in this situation, because I don't know how you both used to be. Only you 2 do.
and only you 2 can fix it really.
Do the things you used to and more. (new things).
Perhaps even spend a little time away from each other so it will be more exciting when you see him. (Like a week or two). You'll have lots to talk about and catch up with also.
I know this isn't much help, but I hope things work out fine for you.

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can you get a sore throat from making out with a guy? i heard that it acutually happened to some people that i know...

If he has an illness, you can certainly catch it..
I doubt he will be prodding down the back of your throat with his tongue though...
Can't say it's ever happened to me or people I know!

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ok, i laugh ALOT!!! and the main reason is my boyfriend! everytime i try not to think about it, that leads me to someting else, and then that leads me to thinking about something funny that he does. i just know that one day im going to be sitting in class one day, and im going to think about something funny, and im going to get in trouble!

any advice?

Whenever I think of something really funny that's happened, I always have sudden outbursts and people think I'm crazy!
Here are a few ways you can try to avoid it:
*Think of something sad
*Focus on your breathing
*Bite your cheeks to stop you from smiling and laughing/pinch yourself
*Disguise it with coughing
*Excuse yourself

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what does the term " you are the sex " means? or " its the sex "

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=the+sex

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I'm having a big party, and I want to invite all my friends, and most of their friends so everyone feels comfortable. A friend of mine, Fred, has a friend, Phil, who I asked out last year, not really serious, but he took it seriously and rejected me. We kinda lost touch, and I want to invite him to my party because I never really meant anything by it and I was never hurt. The issue is, I don't know if I should, cause I don't know if he's going to think that I still "want to go out with him", or whether he'd be uncomfortable at my party. What should I do?

If I were in your position, I'd just invite him. Then you can have a little catch up and if necessary, explain yourself to him. Make sure other people he knows will be there (Fred), so he won't be uncomfortable.

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whats the healthiest way to do dry your hair when you get out of the shower; without it frizzing?

The healthiest way is towel drying it then letting it dry naturally. If you don't want it to frizz, use a high quality conditioner and brush your hair only whilst it's wet.
I suppose blasting your hair on the cool setting with a hair dryer won't really damage your hair if you'd like to try that.
Try out some smoothing balms to put on once your hair has dried too. Look around in stores for your hair type.

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Is it possible to shorten a dress made of polyester with a flowy hem line? I need it shortened by Saturday! Is this even possible with this type of dress?

I'd expect so, yes. I've had to shorten even the most stubborn styled dresses etc in textiles.
If you can't do it yourself, you should get someone with experience, just to be on the safe side.

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well i just want to know what does it mean when you skip a period.Because like i didnt have my period for september and usaully i have it at the end of the month but i didnt have one.And i want to know is it nomarl,and this is the first tinme it every happen to me so whats going on.

You didn't say if you are sexually active. If you aren't, don't worry about it. Periods are quite irregular for the first few years.
There could be a few other reasons why it hasn't come. (Stress, sudden weight gain or loss, or if you've been exercising alot).
If you know there's no possibility of you being pregnant, wait to see if it comes next month. If not, it's worth visiting your doctor.

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how can you tell if you are?
cause in gym, everytime i swim, under my nose gets really red and burns and so does my back.

"Although some people claim to be allergic to chlorine, this condition is very rare. Allergists insist that only a very small minority of patients actually experience an allergy to chlorine, which involves a reaction of the immune system to foreign substances. Even prolonged exposure to chlorine isn't likely to produce an allergy. Instead, sufferers are most likely oversensitive to chemicals. Chlorine in swimming pools or drinking water can irritate your eyes and skin and can cause coughing, sneezing, and wheezing if inhaled. Chlorine can also increase your sensitivity to other allergies like hay fever or pet allergies. If you suffer from these symptoms, there may be too much chlorine in your pool or drinking water. It's also possible that your problem is swimmer's sinusitis (sine-you-SYE-tihs), which is caused by cooling of the skin and getting water into the sinuses. This results in a stuffy, itchy nose with some discharge after swimming. The best treatment is to switch to a non-chlorine pool sanitizer. Some other remedies include nose plugs, saline nasal sprays, decongestants, and other medications that help keep the nasal passages open. Also, drink plenty of water to keep the mucus thin and allow the nose to drain quickly. If the problem persists, be sure to see a doctor, since you could develop a serious sinus infection and complicate the problem."

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i like this boy rite..
but like i dunt know the way he talks to my sister in skool is like so diffrent then the way he talks to me i mean he has his momets with me like he could be nice
but when iw alk by he doesnt even look at me i mean i kno hese not suppposed to look at me i mean
why would h look at me but im saying when it comes to my sister hese all smiles..
IM SURE he doesnt like her because he already likes somone else and my sister likes osmone else
and he knows that
thyre just friends..
i just dont kno what to do
im not gonna say im not jealouse.
i think i am jealouse..
honestly
how do i get his attention i dont wanna be annoying
how do i start a conversation
i dont wanna ignore him cause im scared itl be like that til the ed of the year or liike we will just like not talk ..
im just so confused..
help would be nice
thanks.

I can hardly make sense of this.
You said he's your sisters friend. That could be why he smiles when he sees her. Or maybe he's attracted to her. Who knows? Just because they like other people doesn't mean anything.
If you want to get his attention, push yourself and make conversation. Perhaps you should smile when you see him.. say hi when you can and ask how he is. It's not hard.
Flirt with him a little if you want.

If he still seems pretty ignorant, maybe he's not interested. If so, find someone who is!

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if you can feel your spine like really well and your barely bending over is that bad? and if you can feel your hipbones really good is that bad? or only anorexic girls are like that? no offense of anything but ya i can feel my spine & hipbones more now and i'm scared?? my belly and up is tiny but my legs are fat=[

sorry if this is confusing in any way?

I'm skinny (not in any way anorexic!!) and yes I can feel my spine and hipbones etc..although some parts of me are slightly larger.
It's not exactly bad if you have a healthy diet and are eating correctly so I wouldn't worry about it. Unfortunately, you can't choose which part of your body puts on weight. but if you work on it, you can make a particular part more slimmer and/or more toned.
(P.S Anorexia isn't about *looking* skinny. Read this for more info:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anorexia_nervosa)

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Okay. My life is like apple pie. I get straight A's in school, am fit, am reasonably pretty (not sounding conceited), have a lot of really nice friends, my teachers seem to love me, I can speak French, and dress well. Everyone says to me how likely I will be to succeed, and that I could do whatever I want. But, I always feel like something's missing. I have no idea what it could be, but there is definitely something that could make me happy and I don't have it. Any help please?

A boyfriend perhaps. Although I don't think it's necessary to complete your life.
You should be thankful for what you have.

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