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about
My name is Laura and I'm 28 years old. I live in Illinois and work as a licensed veterinary technician. I am a runner, bookworm and obviously, an animal lover.I've been on this site since '05. I take hiatuses, but I'm never gone for good. I enjoy giving advice and I've made such lovely friends on this site that I couldn't imagine giving it up!
chat it up yo.
ps. here's my bestestestest friend.
I love him. You will too :)
advice
14/f
Tomorrow night I'm going to a party at my boyfriend's house.
I'm not sure what to wear though.
I'm going to have my hair down and wavy, and my makeup with like cats eyes (y'know, with flicky black eyeliner at the top) and natural coloured lips.
Pretty much all my clothes are just skinny jeans, hoodies, t-shirts and vest tops. I also have a few pairs of hotpants but the only shoes I could wear are converse or wedges and I'd feel to dressed up in wedges as it's not a big party.
I want a look that's sort of glam rock chick.
Do you have any ideas on what I could wear?
x
Honestly, I wouldn't go too much out of your normal style. Don't try too hard. Wear what you always wear, only maybe a bit nicer.
Like, skinny jeans and a vest top. I think that's what you're going for, and it will look cute with your hair if it's down and wavy. =]
-Laura. (15-f)
Ok so there is this guy that I really like and I hang out with him a lot...But he has a girlfriend?... and well I spend more time with him than she does and yeah I really don't think she knows how good she has it with this guy!!! He is truly amazing!!! He plays the guitar, does motor cross and he is a life guard and like a million other things and I don't know what it is about him that gets me but I absolutely love everything about him!!! His smile and the way he teases me about the stupid things I do...Ahh I just don't know what to do because he has a girlfriend and I would never break up them...any couple...I really need some help with this one?...
I wouldn't get close to this guy. He has a GIRLFRIEND. This means he's with somebody, and not available. He isn't single, like you are. It could get really messy and bad if you start liking each other while he has a girlfriend. Trust me, it's better to just let him be, or be friends instead. This way, you're not putting his relationship at risk, or putting your own feelings on the line. Somebody always gets hurt in these situations =/
-Laura. (15-f)
I'm having a difficult time dealing with a horrible breakup. It happened over time so it wasn't a quick heartbreak; more slow and painful. I lost my motivation for school and basically for life. My biggest fear is not being able to find someone better. I'd describe him as my perfect type and irreplaceable. How do I deal with this? It feels like I lost a huge part of myself that I can't get back. (F/19)
Break ups are very very hard. I'm going to be honest, it's going to hurt for a while. You're going to need time to get over it. I've found what makes breakups, or tough times in general, a lot better are friends and hobbies.
For example:
Hanging out with your friends is a great way to help deal with your sadness. They can help take your mind off things, and make you happy when you're with them. Do something fun with your close friends, and tell them not to talk about your ex at all. Go bowlig, mini golfing, ice skating, shopping, see a movie. Just do something you all enjoy, and have a good time doing.
Also, take up a hobby! For me, it's writing and running. Writing is great, because you can get all your feelings out and nobody even has to know. You can say basically anything you want, but you don't have to show a single person.
Running is great to. You get a rush when you're running, and you forget whats going on around you.
Music is a pretty good escape, too. Find songs that go with your situation, and listen to them.
Inbox me if you want some songs =]
-Laura. (15-f)
i got a new computer and i have the same ipod. how can i plug my ipod into the new computer without losing all the music i already had? and how can i get the music from the ipod onto the computer? THANKS :)
This program called Music Rescue. It's super easy to use, it's free, and pretty quick! =]
I've used it, so if you decide to do the same and have questions, feel free to inbox me.
-Laura. (15-f)
I need to do a National History Day project for school. We can pick any topic, as long as it didn't happen in the United States. The theme this year is 'conflict and compromise'.
I really like ancient Greece and Rome, maybe something with that? I'm not sure of specific battles/conflicts from those periods, so that's why I'm here. Any ideas would be greatly greatly appreciated. Thanks so much in advance :)
The Battle of Troy? =]
The battle with the big, trojan horse. I think that would be cool. Also ,you'd probably be able to find a lot of information on it because it's quite famous:
-Laura. (15-f)
My mom recently bought me a coach swingpack. It's medium sized & could hold my stuff. Basically it goes across the body. I personally think its cute, but my school is extremely narrow-minded & I don't want them to be like "what is she doing!". Can I have anyone's opinions?? Are these in?? Thanks!!
I like those a lot!
I've seen quite a few girls at my school using them, and I think they look fine. I'd totally use it. If people don't like it though. who cares? What matters most is what YOU think =]
-Laura. (15-f)
I remeber that i told her this
"why cant you just tell me? its not that hard"
Lara said"yeah well its easy for you"
-------------
Okay the thing is all i wanted is to tell her how i felt to get off my chest. i never thought she might like me back. but then this happens. Lara might be unsure of her feelings to me and i can understand that. it took me 6 years to realized i have feelings for her. i am not going to force her to like me back. but i want her to be honset to me and no lies.
its her time to step up now, i know she shok her head no to me. so i am not going to hang on this for 7 more years. i do have a hobbie, i am a artist so i draw when i have time. i cant ignor her because i am her best friend. i am not letting this affect our friendship. i got my anwser and if she wants to say something to me about how she really feels or talk about it then its her time to step up. because i am not going to wait for her for no reason. even thou it will take years to get over her, i am going to try to exspect it, because i want her to be happy thats all.
It's good you have a hobby, start doing it more to get the situation with Lara off your mind. I didn't say to ignore her, sorry if it came off like that. I meant just to not bring this up with her, and to not let yourself dwell on it.
I'm glad you realize you just want her to be happy. That's the first step in getting over somebody. Realization is a step in the right direction =]
-Laura.
Lara text me this morning
Next morning she text message me
Lara" Grrrr i hate boys!!! how r u?"
Me"i just woke up, i am a bit sleepy and i dont want
to study for the test"
Lara"me either, are you mad at me?"
Me"short of, just wanted a honset answer, i dont want
this to affect our friendship"
Lara"why do you like me in that way"
Me"hard to say i really dont know, i am just attacted
by u for some reason. i been deny it for years so i
just wanted to tell u and get off my chest to move on"
and thats the end of the texting
and
Is shaking your head no is a good reaspons, why did she ignor the probmle?
Shaking your head, is just a general response. I think it's a weak way of saying no.
Weak as in, as much as it hurt her to say it, she knew she had to.
Why she ignored it? She might be afraid it will affect your friendship. let her know, even though you kind of did, that you don't want it to ruin your friendship at all.
-Laura.
Okay Tuesday night at 10pm, Lara drove up to my apartment to drop me off after our last math class together. I open the car door and got my bag out and I remember I wanted to borrow her CD’s to copy on my ipod.
Me: “Oh can I borrow your CD’s?”
Lara: “Oh yeah that’s right, okay which ones?”
She turns on the car light inside
Me: “Um the killers and t.A.T.u, um did you ever have the chance to read my note?”
She sat there still and turns off the lights and said “yes”
Me: “Well what is your reply on it?”
Lara: “I thought I already explain it to you”
Me: “Yes you did but I didn’t understand it”
She change the subject: “Oh I don’t have The Killers with me, what were the CD‘s you wanted?”
Me: “Here let me see the CD case”
I took the case and looked from them my self
Me: “Just tell me your reasons”
Lara: “Well I need to re-read what I told you in the email”
Me: “Okay let me put it this way, why was you jealous?”
Lara: “I don’t know? I explained it to you”
Me: “I know I wanted a understanding”
Me: “Ok what if I went out with some one”
Lara: “Who?”
Me: “I don’t know, anyone just someone, will you be alright with it?”
Lara: “I have to know them first”
Me: “What do you mean you need to know them first?”
Lara: “Well do like to know who your sisters go out with?”
Me: “yes but I get to know them when my sisters go out with them, but I don’t have to befriend them first to know them. So you mean that if we are friends with some guy and I like him and we go out, you be okay with that? You have to be friends with them first?”
Lara: “Yes I am just to over protective; I mean I like to know who my sister goes out with too”
Me: “Yeah I understand that I can be over protective too”
Me: “Listen when you got jealous I got confused, I didn’t know if you like me or anything”
Lara: “Sorry”
Me: “Okay so do you have any feelings to me at all?”
She shook her head no
Me: “Okay then that all I needed to know”
Lara: “Do you like anybody right now?”
Me: “Yes, but I have to get over them”
Me: “Well in that poem I wrote you is true,”
She nodded
Me: ‘Well I will see you later, okay”
Lara: “Okay”
I close the car door and walked off, the whole time Lara had her arms folded when we were talking. she sat in the car for about 3 minutes and then started the car and left.
I walked in my apartment and to my room and closed the door and cried,
I didn’t just cry over her, I cried of relief and frustration and I did cry over her too.
I don’t know now, she said no so I will try my best to get over her.
Lara seems to be:
1. She was ignoring the problem.
2. She didn’t explain her self well.
And her body language was a bit hard to read too, all I saw is her folding her arms and not give out a verbal answer of a NO.
What do you think?????
First of all, I'm so glad you talked to her! Very good =]
For me, folding of the arms means I'm nervous, uneasy, and unsure. I noticed that just today, I was talking to somebody and I was nervous, and I had my arms folded the whole time.
This seems like it could be an explaination to Lara's body language.
Lara did seem to be ignoring the problem. She somewhat explained herself, I think, when she refered to you as her sister. Maybe that's just how she thinks of you. As a sister, somebody she deeply cares for, but not in a romantic sense.
But then I myself am confused as to why she stayed in your driveway? She must've been letting it sink in that she finally talekd to you about it. Or at least, that's what I think.
I know it's really hard to move on, trust me, I've been there. It's even harder when the person leads you on, exactly where I've been. I personally, am laying off any dating for a while and maybe you should do the same. I don't know if I ever told you this, but I had a boyfriend like this. We were together, then we broke up over something stupid, whatever. But I still had major feelings for him, and he led me on just in the way Lara acted towards you. It hurt so bad and I know how you feel. What really helps, is friends. They took my mind off things with him and make me happy. That helped me soooo much, I can't even tell you.
So, I would try to forget about Lara for a while (not completely, just your feelings for her, you know?), and just kind of do things that make you happy. Do you like to write? draw? sing? dance? run? cook? Pick up a hobby that makes you feel good, and stick with it. I've found this helps a lot, too.
That's the best advice I can give for this situation =]
-Laura.
How do you wear jeans with them?do you just tuck them?or fold them?How?What looks best?Can you wear them with skirts?
Like said below, you can wear them with anything.
I personally like them best tucked in to jeans, but I see people wearing them both tucked in and not. I see them folded and unfolded, it depends on your preference, really =]
Yes, you can wear them with skirts.
A little tip:
Wear them with a cute, simple sweater and a simple necklace.
-Laura. (15-f)
Well in the note I just want to know some more understanding about your jealousy when I met that guy at the party. I know you explain it but I just want to understand what you mean. how do u feel about me?
re-word it if u want
Well, in the note I wrote you before, I just wanted to understand your views about the guy I met at the party. I wanted to know how it made you feel. I know you'll explain it, but I just really want to understand what you mean. What are your feelings for me now?
That's what I would say =]
-Laura. (15-f)
okay. i'm going to get right to the point. i have a crush on this guy who is well...not the cutest kid in school, and anyway he asked me out, but i said no because i was afraid of what people would think. am i a horrible person?? what should i do??
You should do what makes you happy, and not care about what others think. As long as you are happy, nothing else should matter.
So what if he isn't the "cutest" boy in school. He's probably a super nice kid, and a real great person.
Go talk to this boy, and tell him he caught you off guard, and you said no out of impulse, rather than give yourself time to think it over. Let him know you didn't think about it until after you said no, but now you've thought about it and would like to give things a try :)
-Laura. (15-f)
im a senior in high school and have never done sports before. should i try out for the field hockey team? or do i need previous experience for it?
You'd probably need some sort of expirience, but you never know until you try! Why not start training/getting to know the game.
Practice makes perfect.
Start working out a bit and maybe ask the coach/a girl from the team for some pointers.
I say you should totally try out! It's better to try and not make it, than to not try at all =]
Good Luck!
-Laura. (15-f)
okay tomorrow is tuseday and i want to get the coaurge to ask lara if she read my note.
if she hasnt read my note, i want to ask her this question "do you like me more than a friend" BUT i want to re-word it right, do you know different ways to ask that kind of question?
Hmmm..
"Do you have feelings for me?"
"Do you want to take our relationship to the next level?"
"Do you have romantic feelings for me?"
"I need to know your honest feelings towards me."
"Could you ever see yourself with me?"
That's all I got =/
-Laura.
I hope you know what i ment in "I never got hurt"
question, Cause in "This is stupid" this is what i was talking about:
(I got mad at you when you said you were mad when I told you about that guy I met. Because I don’t know if you liked me too and I didn’t want you to I rather see you with someone else. But you said the reason why you got mad is because you didn’t want me to leave our friendship and focus on some guy. But I wont do that, hell I hardly pay attention to my last boyfriends I like to spend time with friends and family.)
okay i wrote that in the chat room the night lara and i chated about her jealousy,after i wrote that i waited for a 2 mins and she didnt reply. until i type back in the chat room "are you still there? we can talk about something eles"
1 min later she replys "yeah i am getting ready for her bed"
so you are telling me you would reply back to that? what would you say? as for me if someone said that i would say "yeah i understand that you want to know yourself before you go out with someone i get it" but i really cant imagin some one replying to that kind of sentences.
If somebody told me that they had feelings for me, I would first listen to what they had to say.
I can't tell you what my exact response would be, because I would personalize it to the person telling me they had feelings for me, if you get what I mean? It would probably be something along the lines of:
"I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way about you. I see you as a friend, a good friend, and I don't want to take it to the next level because I know one of us would get hurt. I'm sorry, but I just want to be friends."
And it wouldn't change how I look at the person.
I hope that's what you were asking? =]
-Laura.
Does smoking make you slimmer?
Why does it make you slimmer?
No.
Though it DOES turn your teeth yellow, make you smell terrible, and increase your chances of lung cancer by roughly 90 percent.
Not cool at all =/
-Laura. (15-f)
I have diff questions, but they're all about coding/html and stuff. I was wondering if anyone could give me links to any websites that teach you stuff about coding and html. I really want to make my own myspace layouts, but there's no way I can code by myself, and most base codes aren't that great, and some layout editors don't include some things that I'd like to edit. I'd also like links to websites that provide several codes that, for example, lets you place a pic anywhere on your myspace profile? (Where you can position it....) is that even possible and follow myspace rules? I've also seen someone put a comment box at the top of their blog page, and put a background on their blog page? How did they do that? (add them here and check it out: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=259701322) Is there a website that lets you make your own myspace layouts that let you have a banner pic at the top, and provides you many things to edit, that most editors don't? Also, for div layouts or w/e, all you have to do is plug in text and links and stuff? These aren't for Myspace (for Gaiaonline) but is there some possibilty that a layout can sorta be made like that? (from these websites: http://design.illusional-x.net/
http://iridescence.rose-colored.net/)
If you have looked at those websites, are those pics created with photoshop? I'd like to make my own myspace layouts, and I'd like them to be unique, and similar to those on the websites, I have little experience, but can anyone help a bit? Yes, I'm really curious, but coding & html fascinates me soo much, and someday, I want to be a pro, I'd like to learn most of it! :] (Sorry, I hope you get it, but I hope it's not too many questions, or it makes sense!) THANKS!
Coding myspace layouts really isn't all that hard. I taught myself how to and now I make my own all the time!
What I did, was start off by taking very basic codes and just messing around with them. I did things such as changing colors, background, fonts, etc. Try starting off with that. It'll really help you get rolling :)
Then, I moved on to learning what all the junk in the codes means. For example, I know that the part of the code that says .orangetext is the part that changes the words "About Me" and "Who I'd like to meet". Finding simple things like that helps a TON!
If you need some other HTML help, here's a great website:
http://www.whateverlife.com/tutorials.php
or try googling it:
-Laura. (15-f)
no guy or girl hurt me, i just feel like i dont trust my self any more with a relationship because i used someone once (tony) when we were going out. i hurted his feelings and i am afriad of that again. what i said in to lara about why i dont want a relationship in the last question i sent to u. was true but why didnt she reply? or can anybody reply to that? i might've but i dont know, do u know what to say if someone said that to you? would you reply?
I can't tell you exactly why she didn't reply, but I can give some ideas?:
- She likes you and is afraid.
- She doesn't like you and is afraid.
- She's confused.
- She never read it. (hoping this isn't true)
- She's trying not to let it bother her.
Try writing her another note, or like I always say, just talk to her.
If somebody said this to me, I would most definetely reply, because that's just the type of person I am. We're all different though.
See, how I am, whenever somebody tells me something ESPECIALLY how they feel about me, I reply. I can't stand to hurt people by not responding.
Lara might be different though, I honestly couldn't tell you though becasue I'm not her =/
-Laura. (15-f)
okayi dont understand why people say.. theres no such thiing in the world as love at a younge age..
i mean feelings are feelings
i just want your opinions
on what you think of it
I've spent so much time pondering this question and the idea of not being able to fall in love until you reach an older age.
My conclusion or philosophy is this:
Love is all too often confused with lust. I know of so many younger kids (ages 11-12-13) that say "I love you" to their "boyfriends" or "girlfriends" and really have no idea what it means.
Love is something you rarely find at that young of an age. The reason I think kids that age continue to say it, is they feel more grown up and they honestly think they're in love, because it's new to them and they automatically think "I'm in love!" when it's really just hormones ;]
You know, you see it on T.V. or in a movie and think that's exactly what you're going through. Though chances are, it isn't at all.
But as you get older, around my age 15-16, feelings become more real. I know first hand how feelings towards the person you're in a relationship with change. They become deeper, and you become more emotionally attatched. You start realzing when you were 12, you weren't in love, it was just something new and you thought it was real, true love.
Then you get even older, college/marriage age and you've matured and expirience all those feelings of lust at the younger ages. Then you find somebody and you KNOW it's love because it's completely different than anything you've previously felt. Get it?
It's like a graph, the feelings gradually get deeper and you begin starting to know what love is like. Then you really DO fall in love, for real, and it's on a whole different chart. If that makes any sense?
Bottom line:
I personally think it takes time to even begin to remotely understand the basics of love. We start, with feelings of affection at the young ages, lust at my age, and then deep, passionate, real love at young adulthood.
I'm not saying you have to reach adulthood to fall in love, because you most certinely do not, I'm just explaining how it goes for most people I guess. I hope this helps answer your questions.
-Laura. (15-f)
Stupid!
I remember that, when I was explaining to Lara about that party and nothing happen to me and that guy that I told her in one part of the chat room that I told her this:
I got mad at you when you said you were mad when I told you about that guy I met. Because I don’t know if you liked me too and I didn’t want you to I rather see you with someone else. But you said the reason why you got mad is because you didn’t want me to leave our friendship and focus on some guy. But I wont do that, hell I hardly pay attention to my last boyfriends I like to spend time with friends and family.
She didn’t reply back to that,
(and I was thinking that she just didn’t want to lose my friendship)
(but then she didn’t reply back so now I am thinking she liked me back, so I got confused)
(now thats why i ask her in that note, that she still didnt relpy to)
What I don’t get is why is am I trying to find out if she likes me back when I told her that I am not ready for a relationship which is true. It’s stupid! I guess I am afraid that she might meet someone else and they get together (I worry too much and think about the “what if” situations a lot. It’s annoying!!)
I kind of actually get how you feel.
You want to know if the person has feelings for you, but you're terrified of a relationship witgh them. I'm in a similar situation.
Though I know why I'm terrified of a relationsip. Have you been hurt by a boy/girlfriend before? This could be why you're not ready. Or maybe you just don't want to make that commitment yet.
If Lara has feelings for you, just take things slowely and let them go from there.
-Laura. (15-f)