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I TALKED TO HER
Okay Tuesday night at 10pm, Lara drove up to my apartment to drop me off after our last math class together. I open the car door and got my bag out and I remember I wanted to borrow her CD’s to copy on my ipod.
Me: “Oh can I borrow your CD’s?”
Lara: “Oh yeah that’s right, okay which ones?”
She turns on the car light inside
Me: “Um the killers and t.A.T.u, um did you ever have the chance to read my note?”
She sat there still and turns off the lights and said “yes”
Me: “Well what is your reply on it?”
Lara: “I thought I already explain it to you”
Me: “Yes you did but I didn’t understand it”
She change the subject: “Oh I don’t have The Killers with me, what were the CD‘s you wanted?”
Me: “Here let me see the CD case”
I took the case and looked from them my self
Me: “Just tell me your reasons”
Lara: “Well I need to re-read what I told you in the email”
Me: “Okay let me put it this way, why was you jealous?”
Lara: “I don’t know? I explained it to you”
Me: “I know I wanted a understanding”
Me: “Ok what if I went out with some one”
Lara: “Who?”
Me: “I don’t know, anyone just someone, will you be alright with it?”
Lara: “I have to know them first”
Me: “What do you mean you need to know them first?”
Lara: “Well do like to know who your sisters go out with?”
Me: “yes but I get to know them when my sisters go out with them, but I don’t have to befriend them first to know them. So you mean that if we are friends with some guy and I like him and we go out, you be okay with that? You have to be friends with them first?”
Lara: “Yes I am just to over protective; I mean I like to know who my sister goes out with too”
Me: “Yeah I understand that I can be over protective too”
Me: “Listen when you got jealous I got confused, I didn’t know if you like me or anything”
Lara: “Sorry”
Me: “Okay so do you have any feelings to me at all?”
She shook her head no
Me: “Okay then that all I needed to know”
Lara: “Do you like anybody right now?”
Me: “Yes, but I have to get over them”
Me: “Well in that poem I wrote you is true,”
She nodded
Me: ‘Well I will see you later, okay”
Lara: “Okay”
I close the car door and walked off, the whole time Lara had her arms folded when we were talking. she sat in the car for about 3 minutes and then started the car and left.
I walked in my apartment and to my room and closed the door and cried,
I didn’t just cry over her, I cried of relief and frustration and I did cry over her too.
I don’t know now, she said no so I will try my best to get over her.
Lara seems to be:
1. She was ignoring the problem.
2. She didn’t explain her self well.
And her body language was a bit hard to read too, all I saw is her folding her arms and not give out a verbal answer of a NO.
What do you think?????
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First of all, I'm so glad you talked to her! Very good =]
For me, folding of the arms means I'm nervous, uneasy, and unsure. I noticed that just today, I was talking to somebody and I was nervous, and I had my arms folded the whole time.
This seems like it could be an explaination to Lara's body language.
Lara did seem to be ignoring the problem. She somewhat explained herself, I think, when she refered to you as her sister. Maybe that's just how she thinks of you. As a sister, somebody she deeply cares for, but not in a romantic sense.
But then I myself am confused as to why she stayed in your driveway? She must've been letting it sink in that she finally talekd to you about it. Or at least, that's what I think.
I know it's really hard to move on, trust me, I've been there. It's even harder when the person leads you on, exactly where I've been. I personally, am laying off any dating for a while and maybe you should do the same. I don't know if I ever told you this, but I had a boyfriend like this. We were together, then we broke up over something stupid, whatever. But I still had major feelings for him, and he led me on just in the way Lara acted towards you. It hurt so bad and I know how you feel. What really helps, is friends. They took my mind off things with him and make me happy. That helped me soooo much, I can't even tell you.
So, I would try to forget about Lara for a while (not completely, just your feelings for her, you know?), and just kind of do things that make you happy. Do you like to write? draw? sing? dance? run? cook? Pick up a hobby that makes you feel good, and stick with it. I've found this helps a lot, too.
That's the best advice I can give for this situation =]
-Laura.
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