I'm here for you. If you ever need to contact me, my email and Tumblr are there. ocalaphernelle.tumblr.com/
E-mail: Gbox360@me.com
Gender: Female
Location: Virginia
Member Since: January 8, 2015
Answers: 214
Last Update: October 27, 2016
Visitors: 9434
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For starters im a 14 year old girl and my physical body is a female one. I feel like I'm in a male mindset but I have no desire to change my body. I want to be a boy but I want my girl body. Is there a word for this or am I just weird? I know that you can be bisexual and like men and women (Im bisexual by the way if that changes anything) but can you be big ended where you just dont have a gender or you're a mix of both? I'm not sure how to explain how I feel and can't talk to anyone because my friends wouldn't understand because they're all heterosexual and comfortable in their bodies and I don't think that I can talk to my parents because I'd likely be told "God made you this way for a reason" (which is my mothers response whenever I bring up people with tatoos or dyed hair; they act like modifications are taboo) or I'd be told "it's just a phase". I know that it's not a phase because Ive felt this way for a long time. I just don't know. Any advice to help me organize my thoughts? (link)
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Technically, you have a gender. You can clame to not have one if you want, like tell your friends and family to use more people-like terms (i.e instead of he or she, they, they're/their, them, etc.) or gender nutreural terms, which is around the same thing, if that's what you prefer, or you could just make sure people call you by your name instead of using terms like that. (And if you don't like being called by your name, make up some nickname like Kat or something like letter nicknames, i.e TJ, JC, TT, etc.) but when it comes down to it, you have a sex. (gender) whether it's the one youre born as or the one you choose to be, you technically have one. But you could just say you don't, and that you just exist and are a person and a soul. I know some people like that. You have a gender, but it's up to you if you want to accept it or not.
Hope this helped~
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Okay, so I'm a 15, almost 16 year old girl. I moved schools this year and I made multiple friends. There are both girls and guys in my group. So, in the beginning of december, two of my close guy friends started talking to me a lot more, lets call them Joe and Harry. So they would text me and we'd all skype pretty often and it was pretty good. I liked the fact that I had some close guy friends that I could turn to if need be. So after a bit I started liking one of them, Harry. I never told anyone about it, still to this day.
So, about a week ago, my friend told me to come over to her house because she need to talk to me. When I went over, she told me that our group is in a fight, and it was about me. So apparently Joe had liked me for a while and just assumed that the rest of the guys knew. But then one day another one of the guys lets call him Josh, said he liked me. So Joe was mad at Josh for liking me when he liked me. Then Harry started talking to me as friends and then the skyping started. I was completely oblivious to the whole liking thing.
So now both of the guys know that I know they like me. So Joe has just completely stopped talking to me, whereas Josh is constantly around me. I don't like either of them more than friends. I don't know what to do about it, I don't wanna ruin our friendship.
And also what about the Harry situation? He's an awesome guy and he talks to me from the morning to late at night. But I feel guilty talking to him because of everything thats happening. I am really stuck, please help me. (link)
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Just follow your heart and if you like "Harry" then go for it! You can't make these kind of decisions based on other people. It's your life, and your love life, so base it on you. The group already seems a little bit broken up, sadly, so it's not like you would be the one breaking it by choosing, and it's not your fault. After awhile these other guys will get over themselves and you may even have a group again some day. So go for what you want!
Hope this helps~
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I just want to try to explain in the best way possible on why I was acting the way I was my night. It's just all of your qualities are perfection. Your outside beauty is just what every girl would die for in a guy. Every time I look at you, I imagine a thousand girls capturing you in the center of their circle telling you how much they want you and what they'd do to make you theirs. And they'd all fight over you. I don't just imagine that by how bright your smile is, how it can make anyone smile, or how your eyes are your own shade of that beautiful blue, or your perfect size in torso and arms, or your perfectly messy hair, but your personality too. They want your kindness, your obsessiveness, your optimism, your humor, your caring heart, but most of all, they want that pure happiness that you're able to give any girl. The reason why I want you to have the best things the world has to offer is because I love and care for you so fucking much, but mostly because you deserve all of those things. I love you enough that I'll let you go if there's something that you want that couldn't involve me. I've never been like that about any guy before, because I love YOU. Like I said, to me, your happiness is a million times more important than mine. I put your happiness before mine ALL OF THE TIME. And that's why I hate myself more when I'm extremely depressed, because I literally have no control over it, and I'll say things I probably don't even mean. But Jake, I know I'm suicidal. I've wanted to kill myself for four years now, and I was literally about to attempt again. But when you said if I couldn't live for myself, to live for you...I'll do that then if it makes you happy. (link)
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You been hit, girl. (AKA, that is love)
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So I'm confused about my relationship. I've been dating this guy for about 2 months now, and I go back and forth on if he's truly that into me, or not. To begin with, he's older than me. I'm 18, he's 22, so there's automatically a lot of judgement that comes along with that, which might have to do with some of my concerns. Basically, he says he likes me, drives about a half hour both ways in order to see me, pays for everything when we go out, texts me almost daily, finds excuses to touch me, seems interested in learning about me, and came on a trip to Vermont with my family. However, he never asks to Skype or call anymore, hasn't told his parents about me, doesn't want to hang out at my house if my parents are there, I'm the one who asks to hangout (however I usually ask pretty far in advance), and doesn't want to make it official. My friends and family all refer to him as my boyfriend, but I don't know. I recently had sex with him and it was amazing, but I worry that I shouldn't have because we aren't technically official. He's said he's not messing around, but I still worry because he doesn't want to flat out say we're boyfriend and girlfriend. Am I being silly in my insecurities?
(link)
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I think he's definitely into you, but he could just be scared of the judging and things people might say, even though I don't think it's that big of a deal. You should talk to him about it! If you want it official, tell him that and see what he says. It's always best to talk these things out. You're not being silly.
Hope this helps~
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I'm a 14 year old female with depression and anxiety. I'm a freshman in high school, but I'm homeschooled due to the mental illnesses. Well, I have NO friends. The only interaction I really have is with my family. I probably only go outside once or twice a week. All I really do is play video games, read, surf the internet, do my schoolwork, or other little activities. I love going outside as long as it isn't hot, but I'm just too depressed and anxious. Is there something wrong with me? I go to a therapist every week. I just feel like I'm worthless and not going anywhere since I stay in my room 23 hours of the day, on the internet for like half of that time. I just feel worthless. It's not like I'm a lazy bum who doesn't do anything with their life, I just am majorly depressed and scared to leave my house. I'm still in school and learn a lot though. (link)
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There's nothing wrong with you, I was exactly like that at age 12, even younger. Keep up the therapy, and maybe try some meds for the depression and anxiety? There are also natural ones and solutions. (i.e for depression, there's a pill called St. John's Wort that's all natural that I take. i.e for anxiety, putting a book or a few on your chest helps, and calming tea and stuff) just try taking it one step at a time. Like set a schedule for yourself, like go to the movies alone one day, and two days later just hang out outside, two days later go out to eat with your family or something. There's also activities you can do to get friends, like sports and different things like painting classes and stuff, but that's only for when you're ready. If you ever want to talk, I'll be your friend and be here for you(:
Hope this helps~
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theres a guy that i really really like and ive know him for 3 years but im not sure if i dhould ask if he likes me, or how to say it. we do kind of flirt but i font know if ne really likes someone like me. (link)
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Well it's always worth a shot to ask about it! But if you can't, maybe get a friend or someone to ask casually for you? Or you could just ask if he likes anyone, kind of hinting around and such. But you should definitely go for it!
Hope this helps~
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Today, I asked my friend to ask my crush out. When she did she told me he said no, but I asked her how he said it, she said he was really nervous. He kept saying um and he shut his locker really hard that he got his shirt caught in it and then said no and smiled. Is this a good thing to a bad thing? Does he like me, or just trying to be polite? (link)
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Well he either likes you or your friend, but definitely one of you. So you should find out which one it is. Has there ever been signs that he likes you? If you have reasons to think so, then he probably likes you, but I think you should look into it more.
Hope this helps~
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Can I give almond and dates paste to my 2 month old baby?
I am from India but I live in London (link)
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I think it's too early in the child's life to be giving them that. You might want to wait until they're 6 months or over.
Hope this helps~
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Hi. I am a first year graduate student trying to get my masters degree in psychology and I recently moved in with my boyfriend of a year. Last semester was hell. I had so much work to do and I was so stressed. The classes were so hard I would sit there listening to the professor as intensely as I could and still have no idea what he was saying. Many times I would have to leave the class because I was crying. This all caused me great anxiety. I was crying all the time, feeling sick to my stomach in the morning because of the nerves, and actually pulling my hair out. And to make matters worse my boyfriend and I were constantly fighting. He has anger issues and tends to take out his anger on me. He doesn't really mean to do it, he can't really control it. And afterwards he feels bad about it and apologizes and I know he doesn't mean it. But it still takes a pretty big toll on me. I have been recently thinking about moving back home, just to be able to concentrate more on school. However, I don't think I would have the time to keep up a relationship with my boyfriend if I moved back home due to the distance and all the time I would be spending on school work.
I don't know what to do. I've been falling out of love with my boyfriend. He is awkward and rude around my friends, he does not do much to help me around the house and makes constant messes, but I just don't know how I'd feel if he wasn't there. I'm afraid that I will dump him thinking I will be happier and be able to concentrate on my work, but I'm afraid that the heartbreak will be even worse than how he makes me feel... But all I know right now is that I am unhappy. I need to go see my doctor to up my anxiety meds I know that, but I just want to go home where my family can take care of me. It's a great atmosphere there they always make me happy. Here with my boyfriend I am rarely happy. I dont know what to do. As I write this I'm sitting here crying, barely able to see, my mom is blowing up my phone calling me asking why I'm not answering her calls, shes worried, my boyfriend won't stop texting me, I told him I wanted to go home. And I need to leave for work soon. I don't want to do any of this anymore. Sometime needs to change. I really wanna go home but I dont want to physically move out and break my boyfriends heart...ughhhh please help :( (link)
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I know it's hard when you don't want to hurt someone, but if you aren't happy and are falling out of love, then I think you should sit down and talk to your boyfriend about all of this and tell him how you feel, and see if he will get help with his anger and try to help out more and all that. If not, then you should move back and be happy because your happiness is important and you shouldn't make decisions regarding your life based around other people, and who knows, maybe your boyfriend might turn out to not be the one for you.
Hope this helps~
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Thank you for reading and advising!
When I was a child, too young to remember, I hit a golf ball with a hammer and it hit my sister in the tooth.
Now we are both around 40 years old and that tooth developed some problems and requires surgery. I'm not sure how much guilt/financial responsibility I should be feeling. I would appreiate some 3rd party advise. Thanks! (link)
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I think you shouldn't feel bad about that because you were just a kid and that was so long ago. I'm sure you weren't trying to cause that, and didn't know it would turn out this way. So I don't think you're guilty at all.
Hope this helps~
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The passing of three relatives in the pass couple of years has made me wonder what happens when you die. I used to deal with depression and I did not want to live but now that I am happy I don't want to die.I am a young adult and would love to believe I will live to grow old. But,I am afraid to go to sleep because I might die in my sleep. I do believe in God and I pray but it still bothers me that I will die one day. I understand everyone will die but once you realize it will happen to you it is hard not to have anxiety about it because its permanent. It weird to grasp that I might not exist. It seems like No one really "knows" everyone just "believe" something will happen. Should I change my perspective? (link)
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Yes I think you should change it, if possible. It's a scary thought to think about dying when you don't want to, and it can get to a person, but it's no way to live a life in fear. You never know what's going to happen in life, but you just have to go on with it no matter what. Make sure not to live your life by "what if"s.
hope this helps~
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I'm 20, female, junior in college.
For my junior year, I decided to commute for a job that I got while I was home and to save money. For my senior year, my old roommate and I had planned to get an apartment and live together. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that commuting was the better option, especially since I want to work my way up at work and I can't do that if I don't work that much. I guess I never told my old roommate that I didn't make the payment to live on campus next year and she texted me today and said that we should plan a dinner for the girls we want to live with next year and I have no idea how I'm going to tell her that I'm commuting again. She has issues with her roommate this year and every time she would complain to me about her, I would always just tell her "next year, we'll be together again" and now we won't be and that's totally my fault, I know. But commuting is the better option for me living a half an hour away and having a job and probably looking to intern - I just don't see a reason to move back on to campus. So, I was just wondering an easy way to tell her that I just can't do it, that I'm commuting again and I'm sorry I'm a terrible friend for letting her down like that. Help, please. I know I'm probably being childish but I was never one that could easily let people down like that and I feel like her thinking that I was moving back on campus next year this whole time was building her hopes up and now I have to tell her that I'm not. (link)
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Just be honest and say something like exactly what you said! " I just can't do it, and I'm commuting again, and I'm sorry I'm a terrible friend for letting you* down." If she is your close friend, then she should understand. You have to do what's best for you, and she may even find another good roommate.
Hope this helps~
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I work in sales as a telemarketer. I sell insurance to people over the phone when they activate their credit card. When I first started I wasn’t doing very well and had low sales. I finally memorized the selling pitch and reached the percentage goal my supervisor set for me. At work, I have to meet with my supervisor once a week. Recently, they switched my supervisor. My old supervisor was strict but encouraging. The new one is very critical. He constantly pressures me to make sales. In the days that my sales are low he forces me to admit my faults and why I wasn’t making sales. Normally, I would talk very little and nod my head and say yes to whatever he says. It’s my fault because….
The last time we spoke I had enough. I told him honestly that some of the callers admitting to having financial troubles and can’t afford our product, which I understand. Some say no right away and hang up. I said I was not going to push something on a person if they truly didn’t want it. He said I have a negative mind set for accepting that. I should always assume everyone is going to say yes. I asked if he was calling me negative. He asks me why I was being defensive. I said I wasn’t. He returns to his regular routine.
It’s your fault because…
I can’t stand him. I can’t help it. I started crying. He comes up with the excuse that I was under stress from health issues I had previously told him about and offers me candy. See, this was the first time I spoke up and I felt like he was not listening to me and throws blame at whatever possible.
I liked my job and my old supervisor. I was more productive with her and not him. I want to switch back, if possible. I don’t know how I will react when I see him next week. I believe he’s the one making me have a negative mind set by constantly making me recite this. It’s up to the point where I’m making stuff up like: It’s your fault because…my tone wasn’t cheerful enough. I paused too long between sentences, etc…
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Definitely switch ASAP! He sounds like a total jerk and he's treating you very poorly. He's also effecting your emotions and thoughts, which isn't good. So I say switch them.
Hope this helps~
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i rubbed small hole on side my penis using sex toy.seem to have leakage (link)
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You might want to cover it and keep it clean, and if it doesn't heal or close up soon, you should get it looked at.
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I had a bad experience at a hospital for the 4 days I was recovering from surgery. They would ignore my calls when I press for them. They apologized and I was told that the call button on my bed was broken and they never heard me. I almost peed on myself multiple times and almost fell on the floor. When I filed complaints to the hospital and state board they say they can't do anything about it. Because of what happened I developed panic attacks now, which I have never had before. It's due to the fear of being left alone in a closed room and having no one answer my calls for help. I feel like I need to see a professional counselor about this. I called a counseling hotline about it but they were no help. He just wanted my name and information. (link)
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That's really unprofessional of that hospital, and I think you should keep filing complaints until some action is some what taken. As for the counselor, you may want to talk to your parent(s) about getting one, or if you're on your own, look for a good one in your town. If not, I'm always here to talk if you need it.
Hope this helps~
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Have you ever looked at a picture of a beautiful person or beautiful couple and feel happy. Every time I see a person who looks happy or in love, I just want what they have. I look at pictures online and whenever I see people with their bestfriend I wish I knew someone like them. I can't help but to want a bestfriend that I can have fun with. I also love seeing couples in love. I want love but I am not desperate for it. I daydream of going to six flags with my boyfriend and being all lovey dovey. I also picture having kids and taking them to Disney world. I love that I can create these wonderful thoughts but I want it in my reality. Can anyone relate to this? (link)
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I can relate to that, and I don't think that is considered wanting more, when you don't have the things. Like it's one thing wanting a better relationship or boyfriend or something, when you already have one, but it's okay when you don't. I'm sure you'll get those things some day(:
Hope this helped~
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22/f
my bf is great,but when it comes to making out he doesnt know how to. i try to take control and guide him but it doesnt seem to work. i dont want to tell him because i dont want to be rude but how can i work on this with him? (link)
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I think you should be honest with him and be like "hey lets work on our making out skills and stuff" because you should tell each other those things in a relationship, and you would be doing him a favor. But that way you could have a make out session and have you two tell each other what you like and what is good as you're doing it, to improve it, and he wouldn't feel as bad or maybe even bad at all because "you are working on yours, too."
Hope this helps~
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22/f
My boy friend and I have been dating for around 4 months now.. And we are in a long distance relationship. Things have been good between us since then.
I had some important exams last week, and my schedule was pretty crazy and I couldn't talk to him much... The communication was minimal.
After my exams ended,I feel things are not the same with us.
He has an exam on the 5th so I decided to give him some space like how he did when I had my exams.
Then we had this conversation :
Him : why do we hardly text these days?
Me : you have your exams coming up and I wanted to make sure that I give you space like how you did when I had my exams.
Him : I find it extremely odd that you are giving me space when I haven't even asked for it.
Me : I will not unless you ask for it.
After this conversation, things were okay with us and we spoke like how we used to previously..
But today, he didn't text me unless I did it first and asked him how his preparations were.. He said they were okay and I asked him if he had a busy day.. He said no... I was wondering why would wouldn't he text me if he wanted more communication?
Im confused .. Am I over reacting here??
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No, you're not. It seems like he's distancing. I think you should definitely have a talk with him about it, that's always the best choice. And if you want to keep things going, maybe try to put in extra effort so he will see that he should, too, and make him feel special and stuff. Anyway you guys could meet? That would really help. Hope this helps~
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I feel very sad the holidays are over. All the decorations are being taken down and my family who were visiting are leaving. Any ways I can make myself feel happier? (link)
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There are tons of ways to do that. Go out with friends and have fun, try to do fun things with your family, go out shopping for something or do something fun yourself. What makes you happy? Write those things down and try to do them, have them, or whatever else. Have a movie marathon, download a bunch of new music you like, make things for the people that mean something to you. Try to keep yourself busy with a bunch of things. You can look up more on google, or ask me. Hope this helped~
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Okay so I am 15 and I have had my period for 3 years now and I am masterbating but I am a virgin well one day I noticed that I have like a lump in my vagina, it's not rock hard but it is kinda hard and it frightened me. Please help me what is it? Is something wrong with me? 😭 (link)
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It simply could be a vagina cyst, which happens sometimes and is not usually harmful. If it doesn't go away after awhile, gets bigger, gets rock hard, or starts to bleed (which could mean abnormal blood coming from your vagina) you might want to get it looked at. You don't have to say why you are concerned exactly, you could just say you want a full physical (which includes of the vagina) because you've felt weird or something.
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