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Is this normal? (Mental Health Question)
I'm a 14 year old female with depression and anxiety. I'm a freshman in high school, but I'm homeschooled due to the mental illnesses. Well, I have NO friends. The only interaction I really have is with my family. I probably only go outside once or twice a week. All I really do is play video games, read, surf the internet, do my schoolwork, or other little activities. I love going outside as long as it isn't hot, but I'm just too depressed and anxious. Is there something wrong with me? I go to a therapist every week. I just feel like I'm worthless and not going anywhere since I stay in my room 23 hours of the day, on the internet for like half of that time. I just feel worthless. It's not like I'm a lazy bum who doesn't do anything with their life, I just am majorly depressed and scared to leave my house. I'm still in school and learn a lot though.
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There's notHing wrong with you sweetie. Depression makes you want to not do anything. If you feel unhappy or worthless you can take little steps to change how you feel. Try to find things to do outside of your home at first like riding a bike or doing a chore or a craft outside. Whatever you feel will make you happy. Also it'll help to try to talk someone in yOur neighborhood. Start by saying hello I'm so and so. If you start trying to at least say hi to people it'll help. Then once you're comfortable saYing hi to people and being out of your house. Try to join a club or an activity you enjoy dOing whether it be a book club or a support group. If you looked you could find a support group with people who have the same illness as you do. That would be better than being cooped up all the time. You could make a friend within the support group. I have a mental illness myself but Ive found the best way to deal with the depression is being active. It takes your mind off whatever's bothering you and giVes you an opportunity to be happy and meet people.
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Hi there. There's nothing like depression for sealing us up in a sort of box, both mental and physical too. It really does shut us off from outside stimulus. That world outside isn't looking full of possibilities and opportunities to you right now is it? More like full of threats I bet? There's a sort of repetitive rhythm in your writing mate. Like you're in a never-ending loop. Not confident so you stay put. Meaning you miss out on social interractions and the opportunity to make new acquaintances. So you don't get the chance to build on them and reinforce them. And further down goes your confidence....back to square one, eh? Thing about 'loops' is they don't have a natural break in them, if they did they wouldn't be loops! Right. Now there's nothing badly wrong with what you're doing right now. Frustrating, bit boring maybe, but it's not going to kill you. But you don't want to be posting the same thing when you're 15, or 16 do you. Of course you don't! OK, keep calm. Don't throw yourself into some mad social activity all at once. That's just going to pile on the pressure and crank-up your anxiety levels. How about just starting to think about where you can make an opportunity happen, a chance to break that loop? What do like, or even just like the sound of? Any sports? Learn to ride a horse? Shoot clay pigeons? (Just random guesses, you mentioned liking the outdoors). Learn to paint? Learn photography? List's endless...bet you've got some much better ideas?? Keep looking for some way to get yourself 'out there' again and around people. Bet your mates like social media? Start off by trying to build up some strong on-line friendships. Be upfront, say pretty much what you've said to us in your exchanges. Feeling down, losing interest...can we chat? It's interesting to note that the 'opposite' (if you like) of boredom is NOT excitement. It's social interraction. Just shooting the breeze with friends gets you out of that loop, you don't have to go parachute jumping with them! At 14, you're in it for the long-haul. You've got a lot of living still to do. Wish I had that much life still in front of me sweetheart! So think long term. You're not so bad right now, but try to start making things happen. Small steps, day by day. Celebrate the little victories. Sooner or later they turn the whole war around! You'll get there. XX
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First you are or should be aware we are not doctors and cannot make a medical judgment.
As to what is normal; everyone's normal is different. For someone who is homeschooled you life would appear normal as you lack the social life that comes along with a public school education.
I would hope your illness is being managed by a psychiatrist as well as a psychologist. Talk therapy is great if you are compliant. By this I mean are you telling your therapist what you have told us. Remember your therapist is there to help you to be on your side and to be your best friend someone you can share your secrets with knowing that they go no further. You have complete confidentiality with your therapist or psychiatrist. Nothing you say gets back to your parents.
When they speak to your parents, if they do and hopefully they do. What they say to them is how to help you with suggestions as to what can be done at home. Of course these suggestions are based on the information you have shared with them but your parents are never told what you say.
If you are not seeing a psychiatrist for your depression and anxiety you need too. A Board Certified Psychiatrist is the best person trained to help with these illnesses. Anxiety is actually a bye product of depression. When you control one you also control the other.
Having suffered with depression myself I know how you feel. Depression causes pain, pain causes anxiety, anxiety cause more depression. You need to break the cycle and this is where the psychiatrist comes in. There are medications they are aware of that can help that a Family doctor is just not trained to deal with and a non-Board Certified psychiatrist may not be trained in.
My suggestion is this. If you are not seeing a psychiatrist you need to see one and it should be a Board Certified Psychiatrist. If you are seeing non-Board Certified psychiatrist and still suffering as you are you need to change doctors. You also need to be completely open with your therapist. If you're not comfortable with your therapist then it absolutely appropriate to find someone you are comfortable with.
Most important is to talk with your parents and advocate for yourself. Tell them if your are not comfortable with a doctor or therapist. Your the one in treatment and you are the one who has to be comfortable with the doctors and therapist if you are to get better.
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First off, I'm glad to hear that you are learning a lot and you are not a lazy person, those are two very good qualities to have.
As far as your mental health goes, I am truly sorry to hear all that you are going through. While no one can say they know exactly what you are going though as that each end every person's experience is unique to them, I can relate to some degree based on my own stuggles with OCD and anxiety.
First off, it good that you recognize you are having a problem. That is the first step in combating it.
You need to know that you are not worthless, even without knowing you personally, I am certain of this. I believe that each and every person has skills and a purpose to offer this world, sometimes they just have a very hard time realizing it.
Video games and the Internet can be a good thing, in moderation. I suggest you try to take small steps to do other things like maybe exercise and things that don't involve being in front of a computer and tv. This can help both body and mind.
See if there are any local groups yo can join for people with anxiety issues. The support of others as well as the opportunity to get out to meeting or events could be great for you.
Last but not least, please check out a book I always recommend, "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns. I also recently came across another good one called "You Are not Your Brain" by Jeffrey M. Schwartz. These two should be helpful.
Good luck.
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There's nothing wrong with you, I was exactly like that at age 12, even younger. Keep up the therapy, and maybe try some meds for the depression and anxiety? There are also natural ones and solutions. (i.e for depression, there's a pill called St. John's Wort that's all natural that I take. i.e for anxiety, putting a book or a few on your chest helps, and calming tea and stuff) just try taking it one step at a time. Like set a schedule for yourself, like go to the movies alone one day, and two days later just hang out outside, two days later go out to eat with your family or something. There's also activities you can do to get friends, like sports and different things like painting classes and stuff, but that's only for when you're ready. If you ever want to talk, I'll be your friend and be here for you(:
Hope this helps~
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I'm distressed to read that because of your problems, you're being home-schooled because social learning is just as critical for your development as academic learning. This is a time when you should normally be engaged in activities that would show you how to relate to a wide assortment of people and how to get and be a friend. Unless this is compensated for, not only will you fall behind others of your age but it can compound your depression and anxiety.
Not all is lost child. Many schools welcome the home-schooled to their social and athletic events. It's worth checking out. I would personally recommend that you enroll in a karate school. There's nothing like it for building confidence and there's also the opportunity for making friends of the other students.
I do want you to quit thinking of yourself as depressed, anxious and mentally ill. These things don't accurately reflect the real you. What you actually are is a young lady growing up in a difficult world with more than your fair share of obstacles. However, I'm sure that you have all the basic tools that are needed for overcoming and succeeding in anything you put your mind to.
Buck up child, face every day courageously, do the very best you can and above all, get out of your room and do things. Your life is for living. Don't let anything stop you.
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