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what to do!
22/f
My boy friend and I have been dating for around 4 months now.. And we are in a long distance relationship. Things have been good between us since then.
I had some important exams last week, and my schedule was pretty crazy and I couldn't talk to him much... The communication was minimal.
After my exams ended,I feel things are not the same with us.
He has an exam on the 5th so I decided to give him some space like how he did when I had my exams.
Then we had this conversation :
Him : why do we hardly text these days?
Me : you have your exams coming up and I wanted to make sure that I give you space like how you did when I had my exams.
Him : I find it extremely odd that you are giving me space when I haven't even asked for it.
Me : I will not unless you ask for it.
After this conversation, things were okay with us and we spoke like how we used to previously..
But today, he didn't text me unless I did it first and asked him how his preparations were.. He said they were okay and I asked him if he had a busy day.. He said no... I was wondering why would wouldn't he text me if he wanted more communication?
Im confused .. Am I over reacting here??
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Maybe its just the stress but I know how you feel with the distancing it hurts but sometimes guys just need a minute for them. And texting isn't a great way of communicating ina relationship if you feel like you have a problem with him just be straight up and tell him .
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No, you're not. It seems like he's distancing. I think you should definitely have a talk with him about it, that's always the best choice. And if you want to keep things going, maybe try to put in extra effort so he will see that he should, too, and make him feel special and stuff. Anyway you guys could meet? That would really help. Hope this helps~
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I was going to say the same he did, ask first if he needs some space while studying for exam or is it okay to text as often as usual.
I guess the question now is, since he gave you space when you had to study, did you ask him to give you space or announce that you needed him to do so or did he decide that on his own, thereby doing the same thing you did, both assuming the other needed it.
And what is lacking here is good communication. Men and women also think differently and come to conclusions differently. So are you over reacting? Well, what you are over reacting to? Have you thought of using phone calls instead of texting to communicate with? texting leaves the situation open for too much miscommunication or misunderstanding or even assumptions made. You did well by asking first if he had a busy day. Unfortunately that is a closed end question, meaning able to be answered by yes or no without any further info gathered. A better way to have asked is: Tell me about your day today. What did you do all day long? He can't answer yes or no. If the answers he gave you then don't explain why he didn't get to contact you, then instead of being confused, you say, "Let me ask for clarification, "You didn't do anything? Something must have happened that is different because I never heard from you and we keep in touch daily. I really missed hearing from you. Is there a problem? If he can't give an answer or trys to be vague, then you have a right to ask the following:
Are you having 2nd thoughts about me, because I'd
rather know now than be strung along. If you've met someone else, then tell me now and we can say goodbye and thank each other for the 4 months of friendship we had along the way.
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Well it sounds like he misunderstood your meaning when you talked about giving each other space here.
you sound relatively young here so what im guessing is that he just misunderstood and thought there was "more to it" when you talked about "space" even though it was just for prepping for a test. lol. You should probably correct this before things get too awkward. ; )
youll be ok and he will probably feel a ton better if you just explain that it wasnt meant in a negitive or relationship "adjustment" kind of way and that you wanted to give him enough space to study for his test so that he would pass with flying colors! ((theres nothing wrong with you wanting whats best for him!)) and if hes a good guy he will appreciate that.
good luck.
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