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Does he like me, or is he trying to be polite?
Today, I asked my friend to ask my crush out. When she did she told me he said no, but I asked her how he said it, she said he was really nervous. He kept saying um and he shut his locker really hard that he got his shirt caught in it and then said no and smiled. Is this a good thing to a bad thing? Does he like me, or just trying to be polite?
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from personal experience, you don't get someone else to ask out your crush, you have to have the confidence to ask him out yourself
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If he has shown any signs of interest like greeting you when he sees you and finding excuses to be near you often and talk to you, then there is interest for sure in you. IF he hasn't shown any signs due to being extremely shy, there is a chance as the other advicegiver said that he could like either one of you.
I remember in freshman year, a guy who liked me told his best friend to ask me to be his girlfriend. I told his best friend, tell him to ask me himself if that is really so. I never trusted one person passing on a message for another. Too easy for misinterpretations or misunderstanding or confusion...which is exactly the situation you find yourself in now, in reverse tho, girl asking the guy.
Basically, we are less nervous talking to someone of the opposite sex if it doesnt count with us, meaning that we don't have an attraction to or interest in the person. This is likely why you asked a friend to do the deed. This puts him in an awkward spot if he has a crush on your girlfriend but not you. He may have acted nervous because he likes your friend instead, but it still can mean he got nervous as he thought about going out with you because he really wants to.
But if he wants to, why would he say no?
Rough guesses:
Parents won't let him date until a certain older age
He doesn't feel personally ready to date, feels he doesn't know enough to keep your interest in him so he'd rather waith until he feels more self assured.
He may have said no simply because you didn't ask him yourself, same issue I had. His friend liked to pull jokes and could have been pretending all this just to piss his friend off. He could think your girlfriend was making it up just to tease him and play a trick on you. Or maybe as he's already shy, doesn't want another shy person who can't ask him, theirself.
He also may have said no, because he doesnt know if he'd be interested in you yet, if you two have never talked or interacted in any way at school. Some kids will date anyone just because they look hot. Others also want someone they have things in common with.
You could try asking him, yourself. Go for asking him to hang out as a friend rather than asking him to go on a date. Avoid using boyfriend or girlfriend words in your conversation. That alone might also have him wondering what you are expecting from him by agreeing to go out. Going out once or twice doesn't make him a boyfriend. But girls do put more importance on the fact a guy will go out with them, believing he has feelings for them, maybe even love, and these unknown expectations may have him scared to answer yes until he knows clearly what he is committing to. Dating is about spending time with someone you are attracted to, doing the research to discover if you both have things in common and if you really like each others character and personality. This is why some guys after a couple dates break it off and go to date someone else. Girls are heart broken cus they wanted to fall in love with and marry the first dude willing to go out with them. Yes, it is that bad in teen dating. I hear from plenty of teens and what they 'thought' about the 'relationship'. Guys are also terrified of making a girl cry or become angry so some don't venture out into dating for a while for that reason. So as I said, talk to him, show interest in him (if you haven't yet and its all been secret.) He'll need to be reassured you genuinely are attracted to him. Compliment him, talk at school to discover some thing you have in common. Approach him at school, hopefully when his buds are not around to tease him about it. Let him know you have enjoyed talking to him and want to chat more, can you trade cell numbers? If he isn't willing to trade numbers and call you, thats a sign he's just not into you cus even the shy people find it way easy to talk on the phone instead of in person. I suggest, leave off the texting for a while when the friendship is new and your'e still getting a handle on understanding each other cus with texting there is too much room for misunderstanding. Tho when you are confused, dont sit silent and wonder, ask what they meant when they said ..... or put it into your own words and ask if this is what they meant. If you do it in steps like this, he'll feel more comfortable with you as just a friend so when you ask him to go out with you, it'll be easy to say yes.
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Well he either likes you or your friend, but definitely one of you. So you should find out which one it is. Has there ever been signs that he likes you? If you have reasons to think so, then he probably likes you, but I think you should look into it more.
Hope this helps~
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