about

advice

i just started wearing bras. i have a doctors appointment tomorrow. so when i have to take off my clothes (and wear the gown) do i take off my bra?

thanks

You shouldn't need to take your bra off. If it's just a regular checkup, where he'll be listening to your heart & lungs, he can easily do that with your bra still on. The only time you should need to take your bra off is if you're having a breast exam.

[view]

Lately I have been having these terrible dreams. The first night I had a dream that me and my basketball coach were at a hotel (don't get that twisted). Anyways we were talking and telling each other secrets when this guy came in and tried to beat us both up. He was trying to get the guy off, but the bad guy just kept beating me up.
The second night I had a dream that me and my family were hanging out when a gun man came and just randomly started shooting us all. I remember guarding myself with plates and things.
The third night my dream was at my cousins house at her arena. This man came down there and were making the horses beat me up. Then he started to chase me. He chased me up to my cousins house where my mom was in the window, but she wasn't paying attention to the outside of the house. The guy kept beating me up. He would squeeze me till I couldn't breathe. I remember hearing my ribs crushing. I woke up this morning and was actually sore around my ribs.

Well these dreams are extremly violent and I'm losing sleep. Is there something I could do to stop having these awful dreams?
Also these dreams started a week ago but these are the only ones that I actually recorded on paper so I would remember them.

Our minds are full of so many thoughts and ideas and feelings. Some of those things we think about when we're awake, and we're able to deal with them and make sense of them. But some things get pushed to the back of our minds; because we don't have the time, or the desire, to really think deeply about them. But they're still there, deep in our subconcious, and our mind needs to deal with them. Dreams are a way of letting us explore those thoughts and feelings that we haven't conciously dealt with when we're awake.

For whatever reason, it looks like you have a fear of being beat up or attacked. And whether you've thought about that concisously or not, your mind is saying, "You need to get a grip on this fear." So you dream about it... and that gives you a chance to experience it, sort of like a dress-rehearsal. Your mind simulates what would happen if you DID get attacked, so you'll know how you'd react and what you'd do. It's sort of like practice for your brain!

It's not much fun having bad dreams, but it's actually good for you and completely normal. I could always tell what I was the most afraid of, because I'd keep dreaming about it. When I was really little, I'd dream about skeletons hiding in my closet or under my bed (haha). Then it was dreams about being kidnapped. Later on, it was wars and enemies invading our country. The funny thing is, I don't remember ever thinking about those things much while I was awake, but obviously they were there in the back of my mind!

So don't worry... they'll probably stop pretty soon. I hope so!

[view]

I need alllllllllllll you chicks out there to help me out. Boys too. I'm trying to write a book, Smooth Boys, Smoother Girls. About WHY boys are sooo smooth and why they have power over girls. Please girls, boys help me out over here!

Why are boys so smooth?

Well, actually... I sort of think it's really us girls who have the power over the guys! It might SEEM like the guys have the power, because they're the ones that usually make the first move, while us girls have to sit and wait for them to ask us out or whatever. So it seems like it's the guys who get to choose the girls. But really, the power lies with the girls... because we get to choose whether to accept the offer or not.

It's like in the animal kingdom. Have you ever watched a bunch of male birds get all puffed up and strut around, trying to impress a female? And she just sits there all cool, kinda ignoring them, until she decides whether she wants one of 'em or not. And that's how guys are, too. All their strutting around, showing off and acting like doofs is just to impress us girls, in hopes that one of us will take the bait! But we have the upper hand, because we're the ones who get to say "yes" or "no."

Of course, some guys are better at it than others. These are the smooth ones... the ones who have a lot of confidence and know how to play the game, know what really impresses us. They're the ones who get "accepted" more often. But still... even when the smooth ones ask a girl out, there's always the chance that she'll turn him down. Since girls get to make the choice of saying yes or no, it's ultimately us who have the power!

[view]

okay im sophomore and thinking i should be a veterinarian when i get older. But the thing is my grade is low like im in 2.6 range and i feel hopeless about it. So i wanna know what else is there like something about animals what kind of class should i take in college? and what job is there other than veterinarian? sorry if my grammer is bad

If you really want to be a veterinarian, go for it and don't let anything stop you! You can do it! Start working on your bringing your grades up. If you need a tutor, ask your parents to get you one. Also, talk to your school councelor and tell her your goals, and ask her to help you reach them. She can also tell you what classes you'll need to take. If you're not able to finish all the requirements before you graduate, you can always go to a junior college for a year or so and catch up on what you need. Just keep your eyes on the goal, and you'll reach it!

[view]

Well I'm 19, my girlfriend is a really beautiful 22 year old woman, and since the past month we've been having an excellent relationship: for instants we do things together that she told she never did with anyone else before. Now I don't want to get into what things that they are, but just trust me, because I'm not one for BS.

Now the problem is that valentines day coming up, and I have no idea what to get her, perhaps besides just her favorite kind of roses (tri fade red/org/yel). The only intel I have from her side is that she wants to eat somewhere, and she will be wearing a special dress. I also neglected to mention that in accumulation to this all we have agreed to try, and have sex for the first time finally on that day before we rape each other so what should I get and do for her?

Please consider that we've only been dating for a month, but also that I've known her for a very long time, and always liked her, even more now.

You can never go wrong with jewelry! It's something she can use and keep forever, and whenever she wears it, she'll think of you. Since you've only been together a month, it doesn't have to be anything super expensive. Maybe a necklace, earrings, or bracelet. Take a good look at the kind of jewelry she wears, to get an idea of what she might like.

[view]

has anyone ever gotten cheated on and took back the person? i was just wondering like if u eveer were able to forgive the person .. did u ever learn to trust them again. stuff like thatt

Well, here's what happened with my friend. Her boyfriend kissed another girl and told her that he was gonna break up with his gf (my friend) the next day. But the next day he called my friend crying, told her what he'd done, said it was a mistake, and begged her to forgive him. So she did. Things were okay for a few months... then my friend noticed that he was flirting with that girl a lot... so she broke up with him. He spent the next week calling her every day, crying, begging, swearing he didn't like that girl. So she took him back. It's been 8 months, and things have been really good for them. But I'm sure if anything happens again, she'll dump him for good. (If she doesn't, I'll pound on her!).

[view]

16/f. parents aren't divorced..

so, I'm a sophomore in school. generally, i'm a good student and i have honors/ap classes and am part of clubs and activities.
lately, my mom's been really quarrelsome. she'll panic over the tiniest things and always blame them on me.
today we had a fight. i don't know what i want to be in life yet, but i do have an idea. my mom's been PRESSURING me SO much to find out. i told her i didnt know. she started yelling at me that i'll never succeed, what kind of life am i going to live, i'm an egomaniac and a little bitch who's a coward and has no friends and that chatting on the internet is more important to me. she just EXPLODED on me. now she's not talking to me and she said "next time you need something, dont even bother coming to me. im not your mother anymore." she just randomly talks about little problems with me that have nothing to do with what we're talking about but are clearly my weaknesses.
and i told her that i have 3 years to choose what i want to be, but she began comparing me to other smart and more mature girls.
why is this? =\

Well, first of all I have to say that very few sophomores KNOW what they want to do in life. Some may have an idea, but it's almost guaranteed that they will change their mind before graduation. Sure, there are some people who know from birth that they want to be a doctor or whatever, but they are definitely the exception. In fact, the majority of high school seniors haven't decided on a major... and 50% of college students change their major, some more than once. Besides all that, a lot of college graduates end up in careers that have nothing to do with their degrees! So don't let your mom's panicky feelings about this be contagious... you'll figure it out eventually, but there's really no hurry!

Now, about your mom. It really stinks that she's acting this way. And I know this isn't going to solve anything, but it might help to keep this in mind: parents are just people. And like all people, they have problems, faults and flaws. Surely your mom has some really wonderful qualities, but she obviously has some problems as well. Maybe she's stressed from work, or her divorce, or something else... whatever it is, she's taking it out on you. It's not right, and it's not fair, but sadly, that's the way it is right now.

What can you do? Well, the worst thing you can do is argue and fight back, because that will just make things worse. But it's hard not to do that! When someone is attacking or insulting you, your natural reaction is to fight back. But in a parent/child situation, you can almost never win. So the best thing to do is just let it roll off your back. Agree with her, if that's what it takes to calm her down. It won't mean she's right... it'll just mean that you're being the bigger person by heading off a huge fight. Don't think that giving in is going to make you the weaker person. It actually takes more strength to END and arguement than it does to WIN one!

Hopefully, as time goes on, she'll start to chill out a bit. But even if she doesn't, it won't be long before you're off to college and out of the situation. So just try to make the best of it until then!

Good luck!

[view]

Well..I'm 17 and my parents still won't let me date and there's this guy I want to go out with..He likes me back but he works all the time and I only see him on sundays. That's not the issue though. How do I get my parents to understand that I'm old enough and should be allowed to date already? Or get around it without getting grounded? My parents are strict..

Well, you could try this: Tell your parents that pretty soon you'll be going away to college, where you'll be meeting lots of guys and having many opportunities to date. And that "scares" you, because you haven't had any experience with guys, and you're afraid you won't know how to handle a guy, or yourself, on a date. And that's why you think it's really important to start getting a little practice dating while you're still at home, so if you run into any problems, you can come to them for advice and guidance. Because you know how much they care about you and worry about you, and you're sure they wouldn't want you to be out on your own and get into a situation you can't handle because you haven't had any experience with it.

It might work! Good luck! =]

[view]

15-f
I just entered a class this semester. It has to do with getting up and talking in front of others and dancing, acting, sharing my opinion. I'm a creative person don't get me wrong it's just I HATE BEING IN THE SPOTLIGHT. I completely despise it and I need to learn to just push it away. Is there anyway to get over this or am I just going to have to go through the class and learn to suck it up?

Any advice is good advice,
AL

I know how you feel, because I'm the same way! One thing that helps me is to pretend I'm someone else. I think of someone who can dance/act/speak in public really well, and when I get up there, I just pretend that I'm them and try to do what they would do. I know it sounds crazy, but it really does work! It's just a lot easier to do that stuff when you're somebody else and not yourself! Haha!

[view]

So my boyfriend and I like to hang out at school in the morning during the zero hour. And seriously, we just talk. Occasionally I'll hug him, but there's honestly minimal kissing. It's just kinda how it is.

Anyway, most of the time around friends we just hug each other, and before class it's like, 'goodbye, *kiss*' and then we're done. It's not like it's anything all that bad that you don't see around schools anyway.

So the issue is, one of my friend's been giving me a hard time about it. Like, this girl was talking about how she hates when couples get all into it in public, and my friend was all, 'kinda like you guys!' And I told her that it wasn't how it is, and she said 'oh please, you guys are always all over each other.'

We're really not. Honestly, I'm not into the whole PDA thing, hugs are mostly all I'm comfortable with at school.

So...how can I talk to my friend about this? Obviously she thinks it's something bad, because she told me, 'people always say, oh, I saw her with her boyfriend'. Well, yeah, we talk. That's mostly it.

And should I talk to him too? Maybe say something about nothing other than hugging at school?
I dunno, this is bothering me. I always said I'd never get into the whole PDA thing and it looks like I have, even though I'm serious, it's not as bad as she makes it sound.

Help?

It sounds like what you're doing is just fine... there's nothing wrong with a quick hug or kiss. I think your friend is overreacting a bit, and it's probably because of one of the following reasons:

(1) She could be jealous; either of you (because maybe she has a little crush on your bf); or jealous of your bf (because you're giving your attention to him and not her); or jealous of you AND your bf (because she wishes she had a relationship like that).

(2) Maybe in her view, ANY type of PDA (even just holding hands) is wrong. It might just be the way she's been brought up... maybe her family isn't real touchy/huggy; or maybe she's just a lot more conservative about that stuff than other people are.

Whatever the reason, there's probably not much you can do to change her opinion. You and your friend will have to agree to disagree on this one, and both of you just respect the other person's right to their own opinion. If it really seems to bother her a lot, you might want to avoid doing it blatanly in front of her. But really, I don't think you need to worry about it too much, because from what you described, it doesn't sound like what you're doing is going to bother most people.

[view]

ok so my best friends going out with my best guy freind
and she wants to break up with him bc she wants to fool around with other guys
and my guyfriend keeps asking me if his gf is mad at him and i told my best friend i wouldnt tell her bf but i cant lie to him ahh

should i tell him or tell her that she needs to break up with him now!??or both plz help bc i cant lie to my best friend!

I've been in your same situation. What I ended up doing was telling my guy friend, "Look, both of you are my really good friends, so I don't want to get in the middle with you two. I'm really sorry, but I think it's best if you work things out between the two of you."

As for your friend... I think it'd be okay to tell her your opinion (that she ought to break up with him if she doesn't like him anymore)... but just say it once, and then let her do what she's gonna do.

[view]

Is it normal for a guyfriend to call you baby?
err at nite when you text he text you nite sweety/sweetiepie/honey xoxox ? even call you out sweety on the phone?

is that normal or does he possibly LIKE me, more then a friend?

Well, it's kinda hard to tell. Some people use words like that very freely, with pretty much anyone. And some people reserve those words for someone they really care about. It all depends on his personality. Check with the other girls he talks to, and see if he uses those words with them or not.

[view]

okay.. so i thought this guy from my school was kinda hot but i didnt think about him except when i was arond him and he talked to one of my captains. but for some reason in less than two weeks i had 4 diff. dreams about him and they all had to do with us liking eachother and being close (cuddling, holdin hands, hugging, kissing, flirting...) so what does all of this mean???!!! answer asap please

It means that somewhere in your mind (deep in your subconcious, or maybe closer to the surface) you've wondered what it would be like to cuddle, hug, kiss, etc, this guy. That might mean you really like him... or it might mean you've just wondered IF you like him or not. The dreams give you a chance to "try him out" without actually having to do it... and that lets you see how you really feel about it. That's what dreams do... they give you a chance to experience something without actually doing it, to see how you feel about it.

[view]

Okay there's two situations here.
1: What do you do when you find out one friend spread a rumor about two of your other friends (ONE BEING YOUR BOYFRIEND THE OTHER HIS SISTER) that they don't take baths when they do, to the bus driver who's now being all weird and mean to them without proof and the two, TJ and Samantha, well their dad, is sewing or something and the lawyer wnats a statement from me on what's been going on while I was on the bus......lik what should I write? I haven't seen anything, just the bus driver getting on to them about things they haven't done....well that and she moved me from them because of this matter. Which was unfair.
2: TJ and I have been going out for like 2 days and only 3 of my friends know about it.....one of them told the other two......and well I know I'll get teased when everyone finds out and I dunno what to do!

1) The friend who spread the rumor: Unless you know for a fact that this person spread the rumor (that is, you actually heard them say it), then it's probably best not to confront them about it. It's a stupid rumor and anyone who actually believes it can't be too bright.

2) The bus driver: is obviously an idiot for (1) believing a kid's rumor, and (2) treating a kid badly like that. She probably deserves to be sued, and whether your bf's dad wins the lawsuit or not, maybe it will knock some sense into the busdriver.

3) The statement: be honest about all of it. Actually, what you could do is say "Someone started a rumor..." but not actually name who it was. That will keep your friend (the rumor starter) from getting mad at you.

4) Don't worry about the teasing. For one thing, if you show that it bothers you, they will just keep on teasing you; but if you act like you don't care what people say, then they won't have any reason to tease you. Also... even if people are teasing you, deep down they will actually respect you for going out with who YOU want, and not worrying about what other people say/think.

[view]

what are some ways to break up with a boyfriend without it hurting to much?
(i know it will always hurt a bit but whatever)
please dont say i should say its not you its me lol i already know that
um im planning to do it by myself, and not through a friend, so anything i can say that will "reduce the sting" a bit?
thanks..:)

Just tell him that you've really enjoyed the time you've been together, that you've had a lot of good times with him... but you just don't have the same feelings for him that you did in the beginning... and for that reason, you think it's best for both of you if you break up. You don't have to give him a lot of reasons or make up a lot of excuses about WHY your feelings have changed... just the fact that they have is all he really needs (and wants) to hear.

[view]

Ok this will sound weird just a warning for you anwyay my mom's friend had this psychic party thing basically she had this psychic do a half hour reading for everyong now i didnt go but my mom said that the psychic said that i'm a leader but i'm leading people down the wrong path and for some reason thats bugging me now this chick said alot of true stuff like the fact that my dad isnt living with us cause my parents are getting a divorce and alot of other stuff that was true anyway it's been buggin me a little cause you know i dont want to lead anyone down te worng path or anything but yeah does anyone know what that might mean i mean i'm normaly not all into this stuff but for some reason it's bugging me so i thought i'd ask about it

Well, have you ever had someone say, "Hey, do you feel okay? Cuz you don't look so good." And you actually felt fine, but as soon as they said that, you think, "Hmmm, maybe I DO feel a little sick!". They put the idea in your mind, and suddenly your mind thinks it's true.

I think the same thing has happened in this case. Someone who hasn't even met you said something totally random, and now you're worrying that maybe it's true.

So... do you REALLY think it's true? Honestly? If so, then yeah... it might be worth thinking about and doing something about. But if you've never felt that way before, and if you've wracked your brain and can't come up with anything to justify this claim... then just forget about it! There's no way someone could know that about you just by looking at your mom's palm or something!

[view]

Ive been going out with this guy for 4ish months now and i want to kiss him[i havent yet]
so i no this sound dumb but i need help im despreat]

1:how do i give him the hint i want to kiss him
2:where do my hands go
3:how long

theres more so give me more advivce pleasee

Wait until the time seems right... then get close to him, look into his eyes... and if he doesn't kiss you first, then go ahead and kiss him! Put your hands on his shoulders or arms, or on his face. Make it a short one at first. If he kisses back, then it can be as long as you both want! Good luck! =]

[view]

does anyone know any way to have leonardo dicaprio at my 16th birthday party???!! I need to know I love him

Well, you could always write a letter to him and ask! I wouldn't count on it, but hey.. nothing ventured, nothing gained!

[view]

ok i have two questions
i was wondering if ghosts are real.
please provide me with the correct answer, im getting so many different ones.
and the second one is that show 'most haunted' real?
explain them both please because im really confused

I've always wanted them to be real, cuz there's a lot of people I'd like to be able to talk to! So I've always leaned toward believing there are ghosts. But I just read something the other day that kinda rained on my parade:

Ya know Harry Houdini (the famous magician/escape artist)? Well he didn't believe in magic, ghosts or the occult at all. During the time he lived (1870s-1920s) it was very trendy to hold seances and try to communicate with the dead. But Houdini thought it was all a bunch of baloney. So he made a deal with his wife in order to prove if it was fake or not. He gave her a secret message and told her that when he died, if he was able to talk to the living, he would send this secret message that only she knew. Well, after his death a lot of people tried to communicate with him, and some people said they talked to him, but no one ever got the "secret message."

I dont know if that proves anything about ghosts, but it does sound like it might not be possible to communicate with people beyond the grave. =[

[view]

My boyfriend is absolutely wonderful, cute sweet, charming. He jsut really likes my stomach, like to jiggle it and rub it and stuff.
I do have a bit of a belly, but really I'm average.
Anywho, I know I'm not super skinny, but my boyfriend always says things like "Aw your belly is so cute"
And he always is trying to get me to eat, and wear tighter shirts. I just think it's weird, how can he can like an untoned stomach?

I think a lot of guys have a "thing" for girls' tummies. Maybe it's because girl's stomachs (even the really toned ones) are just softer and squishier than theirs, so it's fun to touch. I've also heard some guys comment on how beautiful a pregnant woman is... so maybe part of the attraction is the whole "sacred vessel" thing? idk... but I think it's cute!

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker