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It's the PDA thing, guys...
So my boyfriend and I like to hang out at school in the morning during the zero hour. And seriously, we just talk. Occasionally I'll hug him, but there's honestly minimal kissing. It's just kinda how it is.
Anyway, most of the time around friends we just hug each other, and before class it's like, 'goodbye, *kiss*' and then we're done. It's not like it's anything all that bad that you don't see around schools anyway.
So the issue is, one of my friend's been giving me a hard time about it. Like, this girl was talking about how she hates when couples get all into it in public, and my friend was all, 'kinda like you guys!' And I told her that it wasn't how it is, and she said 'oh please, you guys are always all over each other.'
We're really not. Honestly, I'm not into the whole PDA thing, hugs are mostly all I'm comfortable with at school.
So...how can I talk to my friend about this? Obviously she thinks it's something bad, because she told me, 'people always say, oh, I saw her with her boyfriend'. Well, yeah, we talk. That's mostly it.
And should I talk to him too? Maybe say something about nothing other than hugging at school?
I dunno, this is bothering me. I always said I'd never get into the whole PDA thing and it looks like I have, even though I'm serious, it's not as bad as she makes it sound.
Help?
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It sounds like what you're doing is just fine... there's nothing wrong with a quick hug or kiss. I think your friend is overreacting a bit, and it's probably because of one of the following reasons:
(1) She could be jealous; either of you (because maybe she has a little crush on your bf); or jealous of your bf (because you're giving your attention to him and not her); or jealous of you AND your bf (because she wishes she had a relationship like that).
(2) Maybe in her view, ANY type of PDA (even just holding hands) is wrong. It might just be the way she's been brought up... maybe her family isn't real touchy/huggy; or maybe she's just a lot more conservative about that stuff than other people are.
Whatever the reason, there's probably not much you can do to change her opinion. You and your friend will have to agree to disagree on this one, and both of you just respect the other person's right to their own opinion. If it really seems to bother her a lot, you might want to avoid doing it blatanly in front of her. But really, I don't think you need to worry about it too much, because from what you described, it doesn't sound like what you're doing is going to bother most people.
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i believe that some pda is okay but the whole making out in public thing is so gross! you guys seem to be doing a lot less than what most people do nowadays. i swear, i see couples in my school having sex in the hallways, haha. honestly, you guys are good with the pda and your friend's just freaking out for no apparent reason. maybe she thinks that way because the only times she glances up at you guys are whenever you guys are hugging or pecking eachother. just tell her that you have really nothing to explain. tell her you don't slobber all over your boyfriend and that you guys KNOW you don't show that much pda at all. if she doesn't come through, i don't know what her problem is. if it bothers you that much, just ask around and see if everyone thinks that and not just her. but honestly, i'd say don't let anyone stop you from showing affection to someone you care about. if they think you're all over him, oh well, they're just jealous. :)
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Strictly from an interpersonal, behavioral and psychological perspective, your female friend most likely has some repressed homosexual tendencies.
And has the hots for you.
This is more common than you might think. There is a reason for her comments, and that reason cannot be found in the realm of logic. It cannot be found in even in the area of superstition. She consciously believes that she witnesses something that simply isn't there, i.e., the PDA that you insist does not exist.
This is because, subconsciously...she wants you.
This is normal abnormal activity for someone who isn't ready to accept that her friends have something that they themselves do not. You have 2 choices and ONLY TWO CHOICES.
The first is to dump your "friend". She will do more harm than good at this point.
The second is to dump your "hugs-only" boyfriend. This could be deadly.
The third choice...does not exist.
Choose wisely, dear friend. For if you choose the wrong path, unspeakable horrors await for you in the near future. We know...because we did it, too.
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Ew, PDA in school is nasty. Quick hugs and kisses are fine though, there is nothing wrong with that. And I mean, come on, you are going to be sitting in class for 90 minutes, bored, without him. PDA in high schools has gotten so out of hand though, I walk down the halls and in the midst of like 1,400 people walking, I always see like couples dry humping against the walls. It's disgusting really. And I mean, yes, I'll admit, I am a little bitter about not being able to kiss my boyfriend in the hallway every 90 minutes because we don't go to the same school, but still, the bottom line is it's gross. Anyway though, maybe your friend is a little...jealous? Your friend should not be this unreasonable about small pecks. It's just not logical. So ask her what's up. Tell her that she makes you feel guilty, and being since you are in fact doing nothing wrong, there is a problem, and she shouldn't be doing that. I don't think there is any reason to talk to your boyfriend about it, unless you feel it is absolutely necessary or something is really making you feel uncomfortable.
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I think you're fine. I'm sure there are plenty of other kids at your school that show more public displays of affection. There are kids at my school that make out with each other like everyday in between classes and no one really sees an issue in people hugging lol. I honestly don't think hugging is a huge deal, and I'm not sure why your friends see it as one. I mean, sure, I could see if you and your boyfriend were literally all over each other in their presence, but it sounds like you're not. So even though they're your friends and of course their opinion matters, I wouldn't stop hugging/kissing your boyfriend just because people say that; it doesn't seem like the PDA is too over-the-top. Next time they say that, just be like "Hah sure whatever," and if she keeps insisting that you're doing that, just talk to her about it. Hope I helped! =)
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Honestly, that's not PDA. I mean, technically it is because, you know, PDA = public display of affection and you're showing you like him. But that's not bad, and it's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.
I really don't think you have to talk to your boyfriend about it. You guys like eachother, there's nothingggg wrong with talking and hugging, and an occasional kiss. It's not like you're going to avoid him, right?
So in my opinion, I would talk to your friend. If it was my friend, I'd say "Look. I know you keep saying we're all over eachother and stuff like that but we're not. We just talk in the hallway and hug, and just kiss on the lips every now and then. I don't want to look intimate in the halls, and I'm not trying to. But honestly, we aren't doing anything bad or out of the ordinary. So please, don't keep saying that we get all into it."
Hopefully that helps.
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