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do i have social anxiety?
I am a senior in high school and i find that i havnt gotten as much fun out of it as i should. Starting freshman year i hung out with the popular kids but i felt like i was the last person of the group i always came along with someone else. I think its because i have a hard time carrying on good conversation. Ill forget things instantly, like ill be having a conversation and most of the time i find my self saying "wait what was it called?" & "ummmm..." ill forget the dummest things like the name of a type of cell phone & it makes it hard to have a good conversation becasue ill know exactly what i want to say but it comes out totally wrong. In a group of people someone always has something interesting to say or something to keep the convo going, sometimes i will but people would rather talk to others since im not really fun to talk to most of the time. Its usually only when im at school ill think alot about one thing just incase it comes out stupid because i used ot say dumb things and people would tease me about it. Its hard, i live with my mom and sister but then dont talk to me or eachother. I just wish that making conversation could come naturally its a big deal for me so say the right things i try hard but i end up not saying anything at all becasue im scared people wont like what im saying. if its not social anxiety then what is it and how do I become better at this?
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First of all, I don't think its a social anxiety disorder. It seems to be more of an absent mindedness, or extreme pressure on yourself to say and do the right thing. I would just start being yourself, don't rehearse what you want to say to others, just let it come out naturally. This way, you won't add to your stress level, or try and make sure you have said exactly what you were going to say, and forgetting the words. Loosen up, talk about things that interest you, if it doesn't interest you, don't worry about adding your two cents in every time. Just be yourself and let go of all the fears of not adding up to their expectations. Good Luck!!
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I am not a professional, but I have studied social anxiety. It does not sound like something you have, but it is hard to tell when I don't know you in person. Social anxiety disorder is more debilitating than shyness. People who experience it are so nervous about social situations that they have physical symptoms as well, such as sweating, shaking, racing heartbeat, etc. In some cases, people even experience panic attacks, which can sometimes make people feel as though they are dying. People with social anxiety often avoid social situations or endure them with much difficulty.
Please also realize that at some points, most everyone will have the above symptoms. When they occur daily or at least several times a week is when it becomes a real issue.
Visit these sites to learn more about Social Anxiety Disorder and whether or not you have it:
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You are probably a shy person, and that's okay. Are you shy around a certain group of people? Maybe a group at school or a certain age group? If you are, figure out exactly what it is about them that makes you nervous. You may find that it doesn't exist at all once you start thinking about it. If it is general shyness, pretend that you are a famous person that people want to meet and talk to. Don't act stuck up or anything, but just speak confidently. Do you admire an actor, actress, or singer? Watch an interview on Youtube and act like he or she does.
I also have another tip for you. When you have presentations at school, notice things like colors. Say in your mind, "That's a blue vase" and things like that. It sounds crazy, but it distracts you and makes you less nervous. I recommend trying it. What can it hurt?
I am also very shy, so if you ever want to talk, leave a message in my inbox. =]
Best wishes,
Hannah
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