I got my bellybutton pierced about 2 1/2 months ago and now like where the bar is under my skin its all red above and looks like it is turning into a scab. What does this mean? and how can I fix it?
Thank you!
Don't put Neosporin on piercings. Neosporin is used to make things heal. You don't want your piercing to 'heal'. You want the hole to be there. Plus, Neosporin doesn't let the piercing 'breathe' the way it needs to. A piercing isn't the same as a cut or a burn. Unless you want the piercing to heal, don't use antibiotic creams on it.
Instead, use H20 Ocean Spray :
http://photos.tradeholding.com/attach/hash239/82927/h2ocean.jpg
http://www.amazon.com/H2Ocean-Piercing-Aftercare-Healing-Formula/dp/B0009F79EQ
Darby
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Will it work out if i get back together with my girlfriend of 5yrs relationship then i dumped her because she cheated on me? Because i can forgive her but will it be the same as before or will i be chasing ghosts?
Well, I remember you from previous questions on here. I can tell that you really care about this girl, but you dated for five years and she cheated on you.
I can guarantee you things are not going to be the exact same as before. Whether or not you feel like you forgive her, if you are a human, you are going to have feelings of resentment towards her for a while. These feelings will be even worse if they are subconscious. Don't be so quick to forgive and forget. She cheated on you, what, last week?
There's no way I would even be thinking about getting back with a guy that just now cheated on me a week ago.
As I remember, she was all upset and telling you that she missed you and she was sorry. That makes it really tempting to just forget about the whole thing. You guys have been dating for five years and you're used to cheering her up when she's upset. The difference here is, this is absolutely 100% her fault.
If you want to forgive her and date her again, you need to really talk things out. Tell her that what she did was extremely immature and selfish. Let her know that if it ever happens again, the day you find out will be the last day you ever speak to her. Tell her that you do not want her speaking to the guy she cheated on you with and that she has broken your trust. Tell her that you're willing to work on it, but that it will take a long time to build your trust up again to where it was before.
You have to be hard on her about it, unless you want to get cheated on again. If she's willing to work for it and do all the things necessary to build your relationship back up, you can try it. Yes, you might end up just chasing ghosts, but you won't know if you don't give it a try.
If you date her again, make sure you keep your guard up and watch your back. If she can cheat on you once, she can do it again. That doesn't mean that she will, but it does mean that she has it in her to do it. Just proceed slowly and with caution.
Darby
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What do women want? because i have tried my best to please a woman that i really loved by all means, and what do i get? She cheats on me! But i really love her no matter what!
Different women want different things. Since you've given this woman everything you can and she still cheated on you, I would say this woman isn't for you.
Cheating on someone is a very selfish thing to do. If you're 'ideal' woman is one that cheats on guys that do everything for her, then she's a woman that wants more than one person can possibly give her.
You need to move on. Yeah, yeah, you love her no matter what. No matter who she cheats on you with her how many times. You need to grow a backbone.
Most women I know like a guy that will fight for them. Have you ever seen the episode of Family Guy where Cleveland's wife cheats on him with his best friend? If you haven't seen it, basically Cleveland just tells his wife that it's okay and he even apologizes to her. Cleveland's wife then wants a divorce because her husband has no backbone and won't fight for her.
Women don't want guys that are cool with them cheating.
You need to put your foot down and tell her that what she's done is absolutely wrong. Let her know that you can do better and that you hope she has a good life sleeping with whoever. Tell her that you've done everything you can for her and that you are moving on.
It's the only sensible thing to do, especially if she's not showing remorse. If you don't show her that her actions have consequences, she's just going to keep cheating on you.
Good luck,
Darby
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I am 16, I turn 17 this summer(August) and my boyfriend is 19, he turns 20 in october. We live in New York, is it legal for us to have sex?
Not saying i'm going to, just would like to know.
From what I can find, the legal age of consent in New York is seventeen. That means that until August, it is illegal for you and your boyfriend to have sex.
Here are a couple sites with the legal age of consent in each states within the United States and explanations of the law:
http://www.geocities.com/ninure/age_of_consent_usa.html
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_age_of_consent_in_New_York
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/345013
Pretty much, if you're under the age of 17 in the state of New York, you are not able to give consent to sexual relations because you are not able to make that decision at any age 16 or younger.
Darby(:
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m.
17.
so.
i'm a lifeguard. there's this girl i work with [let's call her M], and she and i have really hit it off. what she doesn't know is that i have a girlfriend.
i find that i flirt a lot; not on purpose, but i do. especially if the girl a. is gorgeous and
b. likes the same music as me.
i find it hard to resist. i'm good looking [and walking around all day without a shirt on just boosts my ego], and i find it to be a huge ego boost when it's obvious that girls are looking at me, and even more when i know that they're flirting back.
what's happening to me now is the same thing that happened last summer: i have a girlfriend, but i find it increasingly difficult to resist the temptation to leave her and go have some fun all summer. the hardest part is that she's leaving for france in a week and will be gone for three weeks. let me get this straight: i would never cheat; but i don't know what to do. i want to go and have fun and meet a bunch of new people; what i don't want to do is hurt anyone.
i'm scared. i think i'm going to fall into the temptation to cheat if i don't do something about this; but once again, i don't know what to do. i think i love my girlfriend, but at the same time i want to go hang out with M.....
any help would be greatly appreciated.
thanks.
It's all a matter of what is more important to you.
Is having a girlfriend that you love more important? Or is hooking up with a girl because she flirts with you more important?
It sounds great to just go have fun all summer. But you do realize that once summer is over, you're going to be alone, right? If you break up with your current girlfriend to go hang out with other girls all summer, she's not going to take you back in the fall (if she has any sense).
If you don't really care and you feel like you want to go hang out with M, go for it.
You also need to realize that M might not be okay with just hanging out and hooking up all summer. She might want something more serious. Then you'll be in the exact same situation as you are now.
I think the best thing for you to do is think of all the reasons you are with your current girlfriend. Is she sweet? Good personality? Trustworthy? Dependable? Supportive? Pretty? Nice? Smart? Understanding?
If you think you want to move on and not have those things in your life anymore, go hang out with M.
Maybe you're just not ready for a committed relationship. How would you feel if your current girlfriend broke up with you when she went to France so she could hang out with cute guys on her trip?
No one wants to be put on the back burner like that. It's not fair to your current girlfriend.
If hanging out with M is more important to you than your girlfriend, then break up with her. But think of how things played out last summer. If you want that again, you should be single for the summer. It's the only fair thing to do.
Hope this helps,
Darby
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Hi, 17/m.
Ive Known this girl for about 7months, and we were just friends. The other day, i told her i like her, and we're officially an item (although she doesnt want everyone to know yet). Thursday is the day of our first proper proper date. Ive seen her around school..and we just talk for a while, and i talk to her on the phone everyday.
We're going to watch a movie, and We allready know each other, so we dont really feel uncomfortable around each other, but heres a few questions i have. What should by body language be? my arm around her? hold her hand? too early for a kiss? i ask this because...ive not dated a friend before....and its normally got the wierd first date because you dont know each other much, but this isnt the case. Any Help? Thanks.
Holding her hand and putting your arm around her shoulders during the movie is definitely appropriate. Since you guys have been just friends for a while, you want to prove that you are interested in her as more than friends. When you first pick her up, let her know how beautiful she looks. Compliment her hair, makeup, or outfit. Not all three. Just pick one that you can tell she spent time on.
As far as kissing her, I wouldn't go for it unless the timing feels right. You don't want her to think that you're wanting to move too quickly. But if you're standing at her door after the date and the moment feels right, lean in for a kiss. If you get nervous or the timing just isn't right, let it go. You'll have plenty of other opportunities to kiss her. Girls are all different. Some are okay with kissing on the first date and some aren't. To stay on the safe side, just don't do it unless you think she wants to.
Have fun,
Darby(:
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20/f
so my girlfriend and i used to always be all over eachother, but now we havent had sex in almost 3 weeks, what can i do to turn her on? she almost never seems to be in the mood anymore.
You should take her somewhere romantic. Take her to the park at night or if there's a lake/beach nearby, take her there. She might not be in the mood if you two aren't going out on romantic dates. If you take her somewhere quiet and pretty at night, she'll be much more likely to get in the mood. While you're out on your date, be sweet to her. Hold her hand and tell her how beautiful she looks etc..
If you do all this and she still seems to not be in the mood, talk to her about it. There might be something bothering her that she's not wanting to talk about right now. Just tell her that you've noticed that she hasn't been as affectionate lately and that you want to make sure all is well with her.
Darby(:
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hi, 17/m
My girlfriend is going to visit the states (we're in the UK) for a month- july to august. I was just wondering what are some nice things i could do for her/get her before she goes, and while she's on holiday also. I was thinking..weekly e-mails? any tips? :D
Send her random e-mails throughout the week. Send her pictures and songs through e-mail. If you find a funny site or a funny picture, send it to her. If you see something that reminds you of her, send it to her. If you guys have a special song between the two of you, send it to her near the middle of the month so that she knows you are missing her.
When she comes back, have a special, romantic date planned. Take her to a movie and a park or other quiet spot. Let her know that you missed her and ask her a lot about her trip. That will let her know that you missed her, but you're happy that she got to go and you want to know that she had a good time.
It would also be nice to get her something for when she gets back, as the person below me mentioned. Get her a single rose or a bracelet to give to her on your date. She will be impressed that you planned a nice date and got her a gift.
Hope this helps,
Darby(:
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i am going out with this guy who im not exactley sure im into anymore but i do like this other guy who idk wether he like sme or not should i break up with guy im dating or no? 14 female
It sounds like you should definitely break up with the guy you're dating. It's not fair to him to stay in the relationship if you're no longer into it. Make sure that you're not into him anymore before you break up with him though. If you're not 100% sure, you might end up regretting it.
Imagine what it would be like if he weren't in your life. If you couldn't call him when you needed support or if you didn't hang out with him anymore. Think about what life was like before you started dating him, and how things have changed in the time you have dated him.
If you're positive that you're ready to break up with him, it's best to just come out and say. Tell him that he's a great guy, but you're just not feeling the relationship anymore. You can't be any more honest than that. He's going to be upset at first, but once he gets over it, he'll appreciate how honest you were with him.
As for the other guy, wait a little while. You don't want to break up with your current boyfriend and be dating another guy the same day. Give yourself some time to really get to know the new guy before you mention that you're into him. If you get to know him well and see that you really are interested in pursuing a relationship, you can let him know how you're feeling and see how he feels about you.
Good luck!
Darby(:
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I am 43 years old and don't really want to be here anymore. In the past month and a half my life has changed and made me realize that I am tired and just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I have been with my fiance for 7 years and within that time I never thought my life would be where it is now. I invested every dime I had in his busness ventures and now i have nothing. we moved to florida to a foreclosed house and he runs a strip club he bought with our money and little by little he kept getting home later and later. feeling alone and sad I got bad news from my doctor a month after that. I have ovarian cancer. I told my fiance and he said he was sorry to hear it but now he doesn't come home at all only every three to four days to change. I have no friends and feel so betrayed and there isso much more including that he ruined my credit buying properties under my name then never paying the mortgage.I have nothing. I can't see the future because I have so much in my life that is making me feel this way. I want to be strong but I can't sleep or eat and I need surgery on june 10th and I don't even know if I will be strong enough. I have realized that his actions means the relationship is over but what hurts the most is that I thought he was a good person and would be here for me especially now that I am scared and alone. I just really hate myself I hate who I am and what I have become. I never thought a human being could be so cruel. I feel as if I am looking out through someone elses eyes that I don't belong. I have noone to talk to and just don't want to deal with anything anymore. I never accomplished any great thing or have any friends just me and I hate me.
I'm sorry that these things are happening in your life. It sounds like there is so much going on right now that you've gotten overwhelmed. It's obvious that your fiance is not who you thought he was. If you have any family, you should try to move near them. You said you moved to Florida with him. Maybe you should move back home. I'm sure your family will understand that you're in a financial rut and that you're having health issues now. If your parents, siblings, or aunts/uncles are willing to let you stay with them for a while, you should do that.
If you get out of Florida and away from your fiance, you'll be able to see things in a different light. A simple change in environment can mean a world of difference.
If you can't move in with any family, you should try to go out and find a friend that can become a support system for you. Possibly someone on the internet if you don't want to actually go out and meet someone in person.
You also need to talk to your fiance. Ask him what's up with him not coming home anymore. Tell him that at the time you need him the most, he's not there for you. Let him know how you're feeling. I'm sure he has some heart. If he had heart with you before, he still can. I'm assuming you're thinking he's cheating on you. And it sounds like that could be a possibility. You need to seriously talk to him and tell him that he is no longer welcome in your house if he's not going to change his ways. Kick his ass to the curb. You can find someone better than that.
Here are some sites to go to. They offer financial strategies and tell you how to get help from the government in your time of need:
http://www.thedigeratilife.com/blog/index.php/2008/12/02/are-you-in-financial-trouble-money-tips-cope-with-hard-times/
http://essence.typepad.com/news/2009/03/are-you-in-fina.html
http://www.cancerbackup.org.uk/Resourcessupport/Practicalissues/Financiallegalissues/Financialissues
http://cancerlegalline.org/index.php
http://www.fifthseasonfinancial.com/index.html?gclid=CNvu0eDK7JoCFRJdxwodRUSqjw
The next couple sites are forums filled with people dealing with the same things you're going through. Go to them, sign up, and get to know people. They know what you're going through and you can be each other's support:
http://www.cancerbuddiesnetwork.org/?gclid=COqsjfjL7JoCFRJxxwodijpukQ
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Ovarian-Cancer/show/94
http://www.suicideforum.com/
http://www.thefinanceforums.com/
No matter what, suicide is not the answer. It sounds like you just need a support system and some financial help. The above sites should help. If you need to talk further, feel free to inbox me.
Hope this helps,
Darby
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i recently used a tampon for the first time. I was fine when inserting it, but it hurt when i removed it.. why was this?
thanks
It's possible that it wasn't fully used when you took out. If there wasn't a lot of blood and it and it was somewhat dry, it would hurt while coming out. Also, as the person below me mentioned, you might not have gotten it far enough in. If it's not far enough up, it's usually uncomfortable the whole time.
Darby(:
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Okay, I am approaching the time when I must transfer from my community college to a university. I can't decided whether I should attend UHD (which is strictly a communter college, and cheaper than the other university I am about to list. Also has small class sizes but it is an open admissions university).
The other school I am considering is Sam Houston State University. It is located in Huntsville, TX (which is like 2-3 hrs from my home), more than likely I'd have to live on campus, and it costs more than UHD (duh). So yeah, here's what I am thinkin....
1) I don't like driving. (Especially Downtown.... WOW and UHD is like 40 mins to an hour depending on traffic which can get bad on I10)
2) I have a feeling I may get kinda home sick if I go to SHSU.... (but hey I can visit on the weekends right?)
3) Could be missing out on the college experience? If live at home with my parents and attend UHD, I'll be missing out, I think.
4) Don't want too many loans.... SHSU of course costs more than UHD. SHSU totals out about 16,000 while UHD is at 7,000....
What do you guys think? If it helps any, I'm an Education Major....
Well, there are pros and cons to both. Of course you're going to miss home. But eventually, you're going to have to leave home. It would be hard to be 2-3 hours from home though the first time that you move out.
I can't really weigh the pros and cons to you because you are your own person. Only you know what is most important to you. Is the price extremely important to you? UHD is less than have the price of SHSU. If that's something that is very important to you, UHD might be your better option.
But, if you really don't like driving up to an hour a day and you feel like you'd be missing out on the 'full' college experience by commuting, SHSU might be your better choice.
You have your pros and cons set up. Now you just have to decide which pros are good enough to be your choice of school, or which cons are bad enough to make that school not the best option for you.
That is a hard decision, but just so you can get a feel for it, here is how I would go about doing it.
Personally, price is a big deal to me. If I can get a degree for $16,000, but I can get the exact same degree for $7,000, I would be more likely to go with the cheaper expense.
I personally don't care about the 'college experience' the same way I didn't care about the high school experience. I like getting things done as quickly as possible and going on my way. Especially when it comes to getting an education.
Also, I don't mind driving, so the hour long drive to UHD would be no big deal to me.
The homesickness wouldn't be a huge problem for me. At first, I would be homesick, but I would get over it. I'm getting ready to move a couple hours away from my home as well. You're right, you can always come back on the weekends.
In the end, I would probably just commute because I have no problem with the drive and I wouldn't want to pay 9,000 dollars more than necessary.
Just do that with each option and decide what is most important to you.
Hope this helps,
Darby(:
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Ok so my girlfriend and i talk on the phone forever and we willbe talking and she will randomly role over and kiss the air thinking im thr so i ask is this normal for people who are in love to do this? Have u ever done it ?
Haha, I'm sure she doesn't really think you're there. It's more of a cutesy thing to do, like blowing you a kiss through the phone. She's just giddy with love, totally normal.
Darby(:
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I do drugs, they make me happy. I've tried quitting, it doesn't work. My mom found out. She wants me to go to drug rehab. She thinks I have a problem, which I do. But that doesn't mean I want to quit? I think they're pretty fun. I do them when I'm in a bad mood; sad, angry, depressed, jealous, all that. Which just happens to be about everyday. Should I go? or should I just pretend that I'm quitting on my own? It's not like they're ruining my life. I still go to school and get decent grades.
-15, female, iowa
You need to go to rehab. You admitted in your question that you have a problem. You've tried quitting and you can't. You said that you don't want to quit right now, which is part of your drug problem. Not everyone that does drugs is completely helpless, lying on a bathroom floor wishing they could stop. You're not at the bottom yet, but you will be if you keep doing drugs.
Also, because you do drugs when you're feeling negative emotions, that means you're self-medicating. There's obviously pain in your life if you're feeling sad, angry, jealous, and depressed everyday. You can get help for those things, but doing drugs on your own isn't the solution.
It's not ruining your life right now. You're only fifteen, of course you're going to school and getting decent grades still. But when you're 30 years old and you're at the exact same place you are now, doing drugs, you'll see that you have a problem.
Your mother cares enough about you to send you to drug rehab. It's a really good opportunity for you to get help early. A lot of people that need help really badly don't have anyone that cares enough about them to send them to rehab, even when they have a serious drug problem. The longer you do drugs, the harder it is to stop when you realize that you need to. You should take the opportunity while it's right in front of you instead of down the road when you've wasted half of your life.
Darby
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See... well I have a problem. I went to this boy that I am friends with house a few days ago. I thought we were just friends and we would watch a movie. Well instead he made me have sex. He did not have a condom but he promised he would not ejeculate. I didnt think he did..I am scared that i am pregnant. I missed my period.
I know you will help me! hope to hear from you soon.
-Unsure
You take a pregnancy test now, then, if you don't get your period, take another one in about a week and a half (even if the one you take now is negative). You might have been stressing out about it so much that your cycle got off balance. Sometimes when you get really stressed out, your cycle gets all off wack.
My main concern in what you wrote is that he MADE you have sex with him. Have you told your parents or the police that? If by 'made' you, you mean he asked you to and you gave in, he didn't really make you. He just asked you to and you did, so if that's the case, don't go to the cops.
But if you by 'made' you mean the literal definition, you need to tell someone about that. A parent, a counselor, the police. Anyone that is older and that you trust.
Hope this helps,
Darby
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this summer i wanna get tan. but i dont wanna cause harmful ray's and stuff.
but someone told me about the new Neutrogena Ultra Sheer sunblock..they said it still let's you get tan without all the harmful ray's and stuff.
so to anyone who has used this product..can you leave me a reviewww?
Well, I haven't personally used it.
But Amazon.com has 63 customer reviews, which is a lot better than just one person's opinion, haha:
http://www.amazon.com/Neutrogena-Dry-Touch-Sunblock-SPF-55-3-Ounce/product-reviews/B001E96OZG/ref=dp_db_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1
Here are a couple more sites that have customer reviews for Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Sunblock:
http://www.epinions.com/reviews/Neutrogena_Ultra_Sheer_Dry_Touch_Sunblock_SPF_30
http://www.buzzillions.com/dz_1031457_neutrogena_ultra_sheer_dry_touch_sunblock_reviews
On this page, the main box has 4 tabs. The third tab over is 'Reviews'. Click on that. There's 9 pages:
http://www.drugstore.com/qxp150735_333181_sespider/neutrogena/sunblock_ultra_sheer_dry_touch_spf_55.htm
Hope this helps,
Darby(:
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Okay, so I'm thirteen now.
Turned thirteen in April.
[Imma girl]
Before that [Birthday] I had been dating a couple of sixteen year old boys.
And my current boyfriend is sixteen.
Well, I was recently out with all of our friends, smoking and having fun.
And a friend of mine who was my age started hitting on me, and I laughed at him.
A boy five years older than me [18] hitted on me and later that night I was in his car doing bad things.
Yes, I am concerned that I cheated on my boyfriend, but not really the point of my question.
My real question would be,
If there was a reason [Meducal Condition maybe?]that I'm attracted to older guys or not.
I'm also not sure if it's just for an adreniline rush, 'cause I lovve doing bad things in the back of boys cars late at night.
And I'm desperate to find a reason. What I'm doing can legally be considered as rape and kidknapping.
I don't think there is an actual medical condition regarding liking older guys. To me, it sounds like a combination of things. You're probably not going to like these answers, but I would say it's a mix of; low self-esteem, not getting enough attention in your home, and the adrenaline rush that you get.
Think about those things. You already said that you get an adrenaline rush from it. Do you think you could be doing these things because it makes you feel good about yourself when guys want to be with you? Especially if they're older guys?
Do you feel like you get enough attention from your parents in your home? Do they ask you questions about your day and treat you well? Do you and your parents have good communication or do you feel like you don't really communicate well together at all? Do you fight with your parents a lot?
Just from my experience, I would say these things are probably what's causing your behavior. It's good that you know that what you're doing is wrong. But you need to take steps to stop doing it. At your age, you shouldn't really be doing 'bad things late at night in guys cars'. The guys that you're doing this with that are over 18 could go to prison for a long time.
You need to talk to an adult in your life that you trust. Tell them what's going on and how it makes you feel when you are with these guys. If you don't feel like you can talk to your parents, try to talk to a school counselor.
Since it may already be summer break where you are, there are other places you can call. If you need the numbers, inbox me and I'll help you out more.
Hope this helps,
Darby(:
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There's this girl... I met her at a party a long time ago and we instantly clicked (I never thought that could happen before then!). I mean instantly! Like within an hour she was really flirting with me, and i was really starting to like her back.
However, due to some bad judgment and choices, I waited to long to tell her I liked her (and officially hear she liked me back) and nothing happened. About a week or two later, she messaged me on myspace (due to some provocation) and we addressed it. I told her how i felt. She said she was "kinda" unavailable. That was a Wednesday. Come Friday, she was fully unavailable with her new bf. And get this, I still never fully got to know if she liked me...
well... a couple weeks later, her new relationship was over (as high school will have it). We still talk and stuff, and we can be pretty casual and friendly with eachother, but i really don't know what's going on.
I can't get her out of my head either! I lie and lie to myself that its over and I'm done with it but I'm really not! She is just so amazing and to think I got so close!
We were both at a party tonight, and I over heard somethings that might have indicated I have a chance, but i don't know. Help? Any experience with this kind of stuff? Btw, 15,M
Yeah, anyone who's been in a relationship or almost been in a relationship has dealt with stuff like that. It's like you don't want to bring it up in case she doesn't like you. You don't want to make your friendship awkward or anything. But at the same time, you don't want to wait too long until she gets another boyfriend.
I think you should tell her how you feel. You've never directly told her how you feel, and she hasn't either. Depending on what things you heard tonight, you should tell her. If you heard her say some things that pretty much strongly indicated that she likes you, you should tell her what's up.
You don't have to be extremely direct. There are ways to hint around about liking someone without fully opening yourself up and being vulnerable to rejection.
I would really like to know what things you heard tonight, because it could really make a big difference. But if you're fairly sure she likes you, you should send her a message on MySpace. Say something quick and simple like, "you looked really pretty at the party tonight."
Just something that she'll see when she wakes up in the morning that will make her feel good.
Darby(:
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so, my boyfriend lost his virginity to me the first time a couple of days ago... the thing is, i noticed that his attitude towards sex is a bit weird.. or awkward, however you want to say it. like, i know it's his first time and everything, but he's feeling comfortable around me. but when it comes to sex, he wanted to lose his virginity to me and everything... but it's hard for me to explain. for example, if he wanted to do something with me, like a new position... he wouldn't say anything. or i just tell him to get up for one second, he gets up, takes off the condom, and throws it away. he said he wanted to finish it but it was "okay", but i let him get another one and everything... but why get up and throw it away if i told him to get up real quick?i spoke to him about it, asking if he was shy about the stuff he does... and he said he wasn't. but why does it feel like he does?
Eh, give the kid a break. It was his first time. Of course he's going to be extremely awkward. He probably didn't know what he was supposed to do or when he was supposed to do it.
When you told him to get up for a second, he probably thought you meant that you were done and you wanted him to get off of you or whatever. That would explain why he took the condom off and threw it away.
As far as him saying he wasn't shy about doing sexual things, I'm sure he was just saying that to save himself the embarrassment. If I were you, I would let it go for now. Try it again a few times and let him get used to it before you automatically pass him off as being awkward in bed.
Hope this helps,
Darby(:
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so lately, i've been questioning my relationship with my boyfriend. like, thinking if we should break up or something.. i don't know. it's not that i don't like him, i do and all... but it feels like i don't like him as much as i did before for some reason. like, 3 days ago, we had sex, for the first time. but then, afterwards, i felt closer to him. but then.... i don't know, it's just a feeling how it's not really a big deal, but kind of lost feelings in a way? if you know what i mean...
advice please!
You should let your boyfriend know how you're feeling. It sounds like you guys aren't emotionally open or in tune with each other. If you get to the physical intimacy before the mental intimacy, it's easily understandable that some feelings you had for him would be lost in the process. If you really open yourselves up and communicate with each other, you'll likely start to feel interest in him again.
You should also plan a night out for just yourselves soon. If you go out to dinner, see a movie, then go back to one of your houses and just hang out for a while, it might re-spark some of those intimate mental feelings you had for him before.
Since you did just have sex with him for the first time three days ago, you might just be feeling overwhelmed. This is especially true if it was your first time having sex at all. It doesn't feel like a big deal to you now that it's gone. But you need to understand that if it wasn't a big deal to you, your feelings wouldn't have changed.
You probably just need to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your boyfriend. Once you get your feelings out and he does the same, you'll be able to feel that mental connection. Mental connections are much stronger than physical ones in most cases. If you start feeling that mental connection again, your interest in him will likely be renewed.
Hope this helps,
Darby(:
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