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boyfriend shy in sex?
so, my boyfriend lost his virginity to me the first time a couple of days ago... the thing is, i noticed that his attitude towards sex is a bit weird.. or awkward, however you want to say it. like, i know it's his first time and everything, but he's feeling comfortable around me. but when it comes to sex, he wanted to lose his virginity to me and everything... but it's hard for me to explain. for example, if he wanted to do something with me, like a new position... he wouldn't say anything. or i just tell him to get up for one second, he gets up, takes off the condom, and throws it away. he said he wanted to finish it but it was "okay", but i let him get another one and everything... but why get up and throw it away if i told him to get up real quick?i spoke to him about it, asking if he was shy about the stuff he does... and he said he wasn't. but why does it feel like he does?
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When it comes to sex guys can't admit that they don't know what they are doing easily. Why? They don't want their peers to learn of this nor their partner to know. He's acting all confident and comfortable but you've read between the lines.
He's just not and well, you aren't enjoying it as much as you would like. When it comes to him quickly stopping and discarding the condom maybe he thought you wanted him to stop completely. It's either that or he felt embarrassed to be asked to stop even for a second and figured it was over. I dunno and he's not telling you.
What would I do? Tell him that you enjoyed sharing the experience (even if you didn't fully) and that the first time is always difficult for males and females and that you know deep down he wants to please but feels awkward. Tell him to just go with the flow.
I have a hunch that's the analytical type and tries to pre-think or jump ahead a few steps and get things exact and then if it's not what he hoped get this weird attitude towards it and you.
Next time tell his to listen to you and let him know what he needs to do and what you enjoy. If he doesn't do something right tell him "you know if you did this...."
Tell him if he wants to try something to ask first and then you can let him know how you feel. In fact you have got to communicate about sex before sex. That's how you avoid miscues tell him what the rules are and when to ask and to tell you what he feels and is thinking about when it comes to sex. Otherwise you're both lost in the ocean with a life raft and no oars.
For some guys being told what to do and shown and lead is actually desirable and a turn on so long as you do this in a way that doesn't humiliate him for being lousy it will all be okay. He needs to be shown that he can open up to you about this and anything else. If he can't or won't than you really don't have a strong relationship to be doing this with him. And that's his issue not yours. He may indeed be doing stuff he ain't ready for because he feels it's what you need or want.
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you cant determine how a person acts in sex after they just swiped their v-card. if everyone did that, we would all assume sex sucks and we wouldnt do it. but we keep trying and getting better at it. you guys seem young, he sounds young, just try it a few more times. you'll both get used to it and soon he'll be taking you across the universe. :) just remember to use protection.
hope i helped. :)
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Eh, give the kid a break. It was his first time. Of course he's going to be extremely awkward. He probably didn't know what he was supposed to do or when he was supposed to do it.
When you told him to get up for a second, he probably thought you meant that you were done and you wanted him to get off of you or whatever. That would explain why he took the condom off and threw it away.
As far as him saying he wasn't shy about doing sexual things, I'm sure he was just saying that to save himself the embarrassment. If I were you, I would let it go for now. Try it again a few times and let him get used to it before you automatically pass him off as being awkward in bed.
Hope this helps,
Darby(:
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