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October 4, 2004Answers:
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i sing..and if u work ur voice alot..for example ima cheerleader and i yell alot..is that good or bad for ur voice power? does it make ur voice stronger or weaker?
thx
yelling is never a good thing for the vocal chords. You can use volumne but out right yelling is no good. It will strain them and then it will take weeks and sometimes even months of silence just to repair the damage. Some singers like Celine Deon refuses to just chat. When she is offstage she only speaks when necessary because of the added strain on her vocal chords. Of course she signs every day and is in the recording studio for months at a time and that is how she makes her living so I wouldn't go to that extreme. I would just use volumne control when cheering and don't do any yelling and make sure you gargle with warm salt water each morning and night to help repair the damage that you do. Another thing to remember to protect your vocal chords is to avoid really warm and really cold drinks before and after straining it for long periods. Use tempid temps with all drinks before and after. Hope that helped... :)
I am unable to send this to your inbox as requested because I don't have your addy but you are more than welcome to write to me from mine and I can answer you back. In quick response to your question; yelling with that much power does damage the chords. While you are young they will heal but unless you are prepared to give your voice adequate time to heal (by being quiet, doind small excersizes, etc., it will eventually weaken it to the point of not being able to repair the damage. Most people never really worry about it because where they love to sing they aren't going ot make a career out of it. It really only matters for people who want or do make a career out of singing. Singers use their voice daily where your average person only uses their monthly or so. If you are going to plan to use your voice daily for several hours a day in training your voice then you will want to start now not causing extra strain if this is your plans for the future. As I said before screaming puts tiny tears in the vocal chords and where they will heal it will after long periods of time using your voice cause lasting damage. You see the heavy metal bands screaming year after year in their songs and then they suddenly disappear from public view or stop doing concerts and keeping their career to the recording studios and special events because of the damage. I wouldn't stop being a cheerleader if thier is something you love simply because I remember what that was like that that was the funnest times I had in school. But, I would go easy on your voice. Maybe talk to your coach and ask that you are all given Megaphones or Mikes while you are out there. Remember that extreme cold while yelling is even worse and I remember how cold some of those football games got. Hope that answered your question but if not feel free to send me your questions and I will get back to you as soon as I can.
Do you ever feel like breaking down.. DO you ever feel out out place.. ANd somehow you just don't fit in and no one understands me... I've been kiked... hurt.. well I'm just like him.. and the rest of the song.. and sometimes i just wanna curl up and give up! the kids at my school are so mean to me. And a lot of my friends think they're to "cool" to hang out with me. I've been pushed down and kids kicked me and I've been in 5 fights with a bunch of kids and always get beet up picked on. And i don't belong.. I think i should just run away. no one would miss me. I'm just a loser in the way! I just wish i was a little cooler and people would be nicer to me. like the other day i was over my "friends" house and him and his neighbors made fun of me and 1 kid punched me so i fell and then they threw things at me. I've broken down.. ok and I'm young and hopeless and going no where fast is what they say.And the girls... forget about it... i mean the only reason most them don't like me is becuse the cool kids don't like me. I mean I'm not ugly..but you get my point. And some kids just pretend to be friends with me and then stab me in the beack like it's a game. And my gf just played me. Well you kinda get my idea of my life. that's not the details though. It's a lot worse. Well is there anything i can do? Or should i run away becuase no one would miss me!
Signed,
A loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First off you said it yourself, it isn't that people don't like you they just are avoiding you out of peer pressure. Remember this, school doesn't last forever and the only constant in life is change. But that change begins within you. You are trying to hard my friend. You are wanting to be accepted by a group of people unworthy of your friendship. I am sure that you are not the only one at that school that feels that way. First, dump all of these so-called friends. Second, become your own friend. You have to like yourself, love yourself in order for anyone else to get in and like or love you. Have you ever met someone that hated themself so much that it consumed them? That will happen to you if you do not take action now. Running away will take you away from a situation but you can't run away from yourself. Believe me, we have all tried it and it just doesn't work. Start by finding something that really interests you. I mean something that you have real passion for. Maybe photography, art, music, drama, sports, astronomy. Anything that you really care about, that intrigues you and that you can put a lot of time into. Then find out where you can go (within school or outside) that you can be with people that share this interest with you. People that you have a common bond with in this thing that you have so much passion for. Start making your friends there. When you have an outlet that you are so strongly passionate about and you have friends within this outlet then other things in life become less important. You find that you have something to look forward to. In time when everyone sees that you don't care and that you have a wonderful life that satisfies you outside of them they will start to wonder and try to find out what it is that has you so consumed. You see people like this think that the world revolves around them and when you become consumed with something that has nothing to do with them then they will want to know why because you will be rocking their existence, making them feel and seem less important. That is when you look them in the eye and say, "Did you actually think that I thought that you were my friend? You are no ones friends. I moved on, I suggest that you do the same." You are not a loser, you are a human being with feelings that are outside the understanding of narcicistic shallow people. Go and find people like yourself and have a wonderful life outside the games and egos that you have been surrounded with for too long. Let me know how things go and best of luck to you. :)
i really didnt know what chatigory to put it under but that don really matter.. lately ive been wicked despressed.. a lotta stuff has happened.. mah boyfriend cheated on me.. then i dumped him, went out with anotehr kid, n then he admitted to me that he likes mah best friend... then he got me so fustrated i jus sat and cried for over an hour.. i used to be one of the hyperest, happiest people you could ever meet.. but no.. everyone is noticing it.. that ive changed.. how can i get out of being depressed?
This is an old cliche but it is true, Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.
Here is the deal, medical studies prove that when we are depressed our bodies will not make the endorphines that promote happiness. The study went further and when people fake being happy it also fakes out the body and you produce these horomones and endorphines that promote happiness. So, force yourself to smile, force yourself to laugh and go through all of the actions of being a happy person even when you are alone and the body will kick in and one day you will forget that you were even unhappy.
Meanwhile, don't let boys get you down. They are like busses honey and another one will be along in about twenty minutes. I know it doesn't seem like it right now but you will get over these guys and another one will come along.
Smile and be who you used to be even if you have to fake it. Good luck...:)
A boy I met on a bus asked me out the day after we met. A few days later he asked me to marry him. He was saying some very inappropriate things to me (about his penis’ size). He then proceeded to break up with me saying, “I need to be with someone near me so that I can walk down the hall holding hands.” You see he lives in Vermont and I live in Massachusetts. About a month later, today, he asked me out again. He also asked me to tell my parents even though he knows that they are against me dating yet although I am 17 and in my junior year at high school. I don’t know what to do. I am so confused please help me.
I am trying to read through the lines here; you say that his talk is inappropriate yet you are still confused about him so I am guessing that in addition to the inappropriate talk there must be other things that you two talk about that aren't inappropriate.
First of all let me say that boys of all ages from 9 to 90 will on occasion talk about things of this nature. Of course it is mostly when they are drunk once they get older but when they are young it is the "seeking approval" of their size that they are looking for. Unfortunately many never grow out of that. With all the books and talk shows they still haven't figured out what a girl wants and needs and that for the most part it has not a thing to do with the size of their penis but more the size of their inner manhood. So, where this is immature this is not uncommon.
However, what concerns me about this guy (and again an indication of immaturity) is that he meets you one day and is asking you to marry him a few days later, then breaks up with you saying that he needs to be nearer to someone so that he can have the physical aspect more often then calls you up wanting to get back. Nine chances out of ten he will do this again. He doesn't know what he wants and this is not love.
Shake the dust off your shoes and move on. Talk to your parents about dating in general and tell them about this guy. Tell them that you are smart enough to recognize a frog from a prince and you took care of it. Use this experience as a topic starter with your parents to let them know that you are responsible and let them know exactly the things that he was saying and how that turned you off about him.
They are just scared to let you go. WHen you show them that you are responsible enough to get rid of the duds and not give into their little propositions and that you have more respect for yourself then that I would imagine (unless they are fanatical) they will let you start dating in moderation.
Hope that helped and let me know how things go...:)
Well these past few days I've been seeing guys that are totally hot at school!! Which is crazy beacuse I thought all the hott guys graduated. Anyway, the guys are probably like juniors and seniors...I'm a sophmore and I really really want to meet some of these guys. But I dont know ANYTHING about them. Their random guys that I think are cute and when I get the chance I'll probably tell them they are.(I'm not shy) But usally they smile or laugh and say "Thanks" and then I end up leaving. Maybe its because I'm young, or because I'm ugly...I dont know! I need help. How do I get these guys to talk to me???
Well if you aren't shy then you talk to them. DOn't start the conversation with hey your hot start it with hey can you hand me that book or something that has to do with the situation and surroundings that you are in. Starting it off with your hot and then you leave isn't going to start up anything. Just start a regular conversation. See where that gets you. Let me know if it works. Good luck... :)
okay im 13/f and me and my boyfriend have been going out for 1 month and like 9 days and we havent kissed yet and i want him to make the first move but i want him to do it and get it over with and like yeah and his friend said that i should just do it but im scared...what should i do?
He is just as scared as you are. Just give him a little more time. It will be worth the wait. Just look in his eyes a lot when you are close to him and glance down at his lips every now and again and he will get the hint that the time is right. Good luck... :)
I have been in a relationship for a long time. I recently discovered that my girlfriend wants to bring another woman into our sex life...what should i do??? I realy care about my girlfriend i wonder if it would ruin what we have???
Re-evaluate your relationship with her. If she is not satisfied with the love you give her and feels that she needs another person in your bed then you need to move on. Let her know that you love her and that you only need her in your bed but if she feels that you aren't giving her what she needs that the door is over there. Good luck.
We are constantly getting into petty arguments, that escalate until he is angry and I am upset, sometimes to the point of tears. He blames me, saying I go on too much about things, and I blame him because I feel he doesn't listen or respond to anything I say, or he belittles me and my point of view. He says I belittle him too. I don't really know where to begin but to explain what happened today. We were going out to lunch with our 5-year-old daughter and as we were leaving, he suggested a fish and chips restauraunt called "Tugboat". At first, I agreed, but after we got in the car I said "I really don't feel like fish and chips. Can we go somewhere that has other choices?" I don't recall if he even responded. So I suggested three fast-food places that have fish and chips and other choices as well. He said "I don't want to eat fast food, " in this very hostile tone of voice like I was stupid for suggesting it. I went on to explain that there are heathly things he could get there too, like salad, and that the place he wanted to go was fast food and not healthy anyway. He did not acknowlege my valid point and continued to make negative remarks. He said that he didn't want to eat salad. I said ok then, but they have fish and chips, which is what you said you wanted." Then he got more angry and denied that he said he wanted that. I pointed out that the restaurant he wanted to go to only served that and little else. I explained again that I was just trying to be fair and pick a place we would all be happy with. He just told me to shut up and that he wanted to go home. I couldn't figure out what he was so upset about. Maybe I overexplained my point of view, but I was getting no response from him. At one point, he drove to one of the fast-food places I suggested and said in a very nasty tone "Here is the place you wanted to go. Are you happy now?" No, I wasn't, because I didn't like his attitude, and I said "If you don't want to eat here, just tell me where you'd like to go?" He refused to answer, so I angrily got out of the car and started to walk away, telling him he was being a jerk. I ended up getting back in the car and he told me I was a psycho. I said I wouldn't be acting like this if he didn't treat me like my ideas were stupid, and refuse to tell me where he wanted to go. We then went through the drive-thru of another restaurant, three times, and he kept getting out of the line because I was upset and wanted to talk to him about how I felt. Our daughter was really hungry, as was I, and was getting really upset. Finally, we ended up at a nice restaurant and I calmed down enough to go in, and we had a good lunch, but barely talked. I was still upset and angry. All this took about a hour of wasted time driving around. He still never acknowleged that he was wrong to not respond to me when I asked him where he wanted to go. He did apologise for belittling my suggestions, though, and I admitted that I tend to go on about things, but only if I feel that he is not understanding or acknowledging me. I know that I'm partially responsible for these petty arguments. but I don't know how to change this destructive pattern. My husband just wants to "drop it" and it never gets resolved. We argued about this and many other petty things over and over again and I just want it to stop. I love my husband and I know that he loves me, but sometimes it feels like we are enemies at war, and this is not a good example for our daughter. Also, I am 4 months pregnant, and the stress is not good for me or the baby. Help! And please don't suggest divorce. I am determined to do whatever it takes to save our marriage. Please tell me objectively what each of us is doing wrong. Thanks
Wow, not really sure where all to begin but here goes. But, first I have a question. Did you fight like this before you got pregnant? I am guessing that the answer is yes so I am going to answer the best I can assuming that. You can let me know if the answer is no because that will change things a lot.
Being a couple is hard, but being a parent is even harder. There is home, spouse, kid(s), bills, and all the things with being an adult that stresses us out. Sometimes we take those things out on each other. You are right that none of this is good for your daughter and this is what you must realize. You cannot change his behaivor and aparently trying to talk to him about it just causes more anxiety and arguments so what you need to do is change your own. Here is what you can do next time, same situation. He suggests Tugboat and you aren't really in the mood for fish. You can say, "Um there or Outback both sound good." He says, "Which do you prefer?" You say, "Are you really in the mood for Tugboat or just fish in general?" He says, "I like the garlic fries from there." You say, "Okay that sounds good to me too." Then get in the car and eat at Tugboat. Order a salad or soemthing else besides fish. You aren't nagging him or starting an argument but you are showing him that you really don't like their food. Next time he may do the same thing but eventually he will understand that you don't like the place and he will say, "But you don't really like Tugboat do you?" Then you can say, "Not really but that's fine if you are in the mood for it. Or how about we call in an order from there and one from Outback and take it home and have a picnic and then we both get what we like." You areindirectly teaching him compromise. You are leading by example. One way or the other if your marriage is going to work the fighting is going to have to stop and one of you needs to be the bigger person. You aparently love this man and want things to work so you need to set those wheels in motion. It is not getting run over you are simply changing the dynamics of your marriage and showing him what give is. Eventually if he loves you he will start to give back and then you will both be on even ground. Deciding the restaurant needs to be done before you get in the car and away from earshot of your daughter. You need to decide in your own head that whatever it takes you will not argue in front of your daughter even if that means holding your tongue until you are in the privacy of your livingroom after she is in bed asleep. Never fight in the bedroom that needs to be your special place for the two of you to share love. Take it to the back yard or get a sitter and go for a drive but never fight int he bedroom. The guest room is fine but never your bedroom. Good luck and remember that your goal is to hold your marriage together and you can only do that when one of you decides to take action... Best of luck..
My friend has been married for 3 years. She and her husband are expecting their first child in December. (It's a boy.) They are trying to pick a name. Her husband really likes the name Jonathan, but he doesn't know that she has an ex-boyfriend named Jonathan. Do you think she should tell him about her ex or just go ahead and name the baby Jonathan anyway?
Its just a name. You might tell your friend to casually say to her husband, "I like the name Jonathon but I once had a boyfriend named that and he wasn't all that great. I am hoping it isn't the name." Tell her to laugh it off and see what the husband says. If it bugs him he will say, "Got any exes named Ted?" That will let him know the situation. He may just laugh and say, "Probably just a jerk, but our genes are better." That will keep her from worrying about it and give him the decission to change it if he wants to.
When I was 12 years old, I was raped, and became pregnant. I never told my daughter how she was conceived. She is 13 years old, and I just found out that she's pregnant. Her boyfriend's father kicked him out of his house as a result. Abortion is out of the question. We have to decide whether my daughter and her boyfriend will raise the baby themselves or allow me to adopt the child. So I have three questions.
1. How do I tell my daughter the truth about how she was conceived?
2. Should I allow her boyfriend to move in with us, and if so, is it okay to make them sleep in seperate rooms? (His only other option is to move out of the country with his mother.)
3. Do you think it would be better for my daughter to raise her child or should I adopt the baby? (I was unable to have any other children.)
Sorry so long, but any advice would be appreciated.
I don't understand how your telling your daughter that you were raped by her father is relevent to the situation. By all means if you were planning on telling her before she got pregnant tell her but now is not the time to do that. That can wait until she is a mother and when she is old enough to understand that she is loved no matter how she got here.
As for your other questions. No, you should not adopt her baby. If she choses to keep her baby it is her baby and where you will be a much needed support system she is the one that got pregnant and she is the one that needs to care for what she created. If you correct this for her she will expect you to correct everything she ever does. There has to be accountability here and if she choses to keep her child and I don't mean abortion because you already stated that it isn't an option then she needs to care for it.
As for the boyfriend, no he should not move in with you. She is entirely too young to be married. The boy needs to work things out with his father and step up to the plate in helping to care for the baby. These kids are still kids. They are not adults, they still need educations and they still have a lot of growing up to do. Do you honestly think that by keeping them in seperate rooms you will stop the sex? You can't be there constantly and believe me they will find a way. And then you will have a 14 year old pregnant daughter with a baby still in the crib. It is unfortunate that the boy was thrown out of his home but parents deal with this every day and the Dad will eventually see that what is done is done. I am sure that he loves his son. Taking him in is not the answer. That is just asking for more problems.
I know that my advise may not be what you wanted to hear but I truly believe that moving him in with you is not the best thing for your daughter long term. She is way too young to know what she will want down the road and that would be forcing her into a relationship that may turn out horrible. Concentrate on getting her through this, through school and if she and the father really love each other then they will be together when they are adults. Until then you have bigger problems than raising two teenagers and a grandbaby. Best of luck... :)
My 12 year old cousin is going through puberty. She has always been a tomboy and she's disgusted with the whole process. To make matters worse she is developing rapidly (she's already a C-cup), and she started her period. She is normally a very happy person, but has become very depressed. She wears layered clothes and big sweatshirts, in the summer, to hide the changes of her body. Is there anything I can say or do to make her transition any easier?
(I've already tried telling her that it's normal and all girls go through it, but that didn't help.)
My neice went through the same thing. We live in California and it could be a 112 degrees and she would be in a sweatshirt. It didn't help that she was clumbsy as well. She could enter a room and trip over her shadow. She was a D cup at the time and not a small girl so she was definitely standing out. Depression hit and she became suicidal a lot of the time. I was like you had no clue what to do. So, I did the only thing that I knew how, I took her shopping. We first went to get her eyebrows waxed. Man was that something. She screemed and then cried for an hour afterwards. Then we hit the hair salon and I got her a new do. Then we hit the make-up counter and we got her a make-over. When we were all done I kept telling her how beautiful she was and I ran her through Macys. She looked at the teenaged girls and said, "I wish I looked like her." I said, "Well you might if you took off all those layers." She hugged her sweatshirt to her and said, "Yeah right I'm fat." I said, "How do you know under all that I bet you sweat off most of it." That made her laugh and I started trying on clothes and eventually she did to. One of the teenage girls was trying on clothes while she was and said, "Oh that looks so cute on you." She was sold. Now I can't get her out of belly shirts no matter what I try and am thinking I should have left her int he sweater, lol.. Now she is 14 and isn't horrified about her body anymore. In fact she is liking it and is no longer depressed. So, I am thinking she probably would have grown out of it on her own but if you are really concerned you might try a few of those things but be careful what you wish for. You may end up like me wishing she would put a few more clothes on, lol.. Hope that helped.
I cut but i wanna stop cause its gotten so bad i cant even hold crap any more ... any advice on how
You say that you cut but you haven't said why. Most of the time people cut to try and numb the emotionall pain that they are going through. Until that pain is dealt with your cutting problem is probably not going to go away. However you do that is up to you. The fastest and easiest way is to seek counseling but that is a huge step to make. If you are truly tired of hurting yourself then you should get help. If not then you should go over in your own mind the things that you are trying to numb and deal with those things. Many times people can deal with that alone. I had a good friend that cut himself for years and when he finally stopped drinking and dealt with what was bothering him he was able to stop. He started going to AA and that was a place to vent his frusterations with his family. The family problems are still there but he has learned to understand that he can't change them and he distances himself from them. He didn't cut them out of his life he just limits his time with them and when things start to head down the same old path he leaves and finds other distractions to take his mind off of how much that they try and hurt him. I would recommend counseling but until you are ready for that step it is unlikely that it will help. Until then try and figure out why you try and numb the emotional hurt and find ways to deal with that and I think the cutting will cease.
Best of luck... :)
Okay here's my problem...I slept with my best friend, but he doesn't remember, and now I might be pregnant. Maybe I should explain...About a month & a half ago, my best friend/roommate and I went to a party and when we got home we kinda started making out (we had both been drinking). When he said he something that he really needed to tell me, and said that he was in love with me. It was so sweet and we ended up sleeping together. The next morning I woke up before him and cooked breakfast for him. But when he woke up, he was really confused, and he said he couldn't remember how he got home, and he really didn't remember anything since the beginning of the party the night before. I was freaking out and I didn't say anything about what happened between us. We later found out that someone had put something in the drinks at the party and a bunch of people couldn't remember stuff. I had decided that I wasn't going to tell him about out night together because it would be to weird. Then I didn't get my period this month, so now I'm really freaking out. I know I need to tell him but I don't know how. Then to make matters worse, I was trying to tell him yesterday, and he said that he wanted to tell me something (I thought he was gonna say he loved me) and he said that he was still a virgin and he was saving himself for the person that he was gonna spend the rest of his life with. I didn't think it was possible to feel any worse. I'm 22 and he's 20.
Can anyone help me please? I don't know what to do...
Well you know that you need to tell him so this is my advise. First off it needs to be a controled situation so you need to make sure that there are no interruptions. Tell him that you and he need to have a serious talk. Ask him to commit to a time that he can give you his undivided attention. If he says sure right now say, "No, lets actually schedule a time." This will give you plenty of time to prepare for it. Suggest say tomorrow at six in the evening. That way both of you can wrap your day up and be prepared for a sit down discussion. Then make dinner, or order out for it. Then sit down and tell him exactly what happened the night that you are talking about. Do not mention the pregnacy until you both have time to talk about how you are feeling about what happened. Tell him everything that he said to you and right up until the point that he woke up to you making him breakfast and he was confused and why you decided not to tell him. Let him discuss hoe he feels about it. If he tries to leave tell him that you really need to talk about this further. If he insists then tell him that you would like to talk more that there are more things that you need to get out in the open. When he has digested all of this tell him that you have doen a home pregnacy test and it comes up positive. That you have not seen a doctor yet and will be calling on Monday to set that up but if you are that it is his.
Make sure that you don't tell him that you slept together and you may be pregnant in the same sentence. Let him have time to digest the first before you drop the second. It may turn out that he tells you the same thing, that he is in love with you and he may be upset that you didn't tell him sooner but explain that you were embarrassed when he didn't remember and you weren't sure at first if he was just saying that because he had regrets. Be totally honest with him from the beginning about what happened and your feelings before you tell him that you two may be parents.
Best of luck and let me know how things turn out... :)
Im in the army, been with my girlfriend 5 years. Im leaving again for iraq for the 2nd, should i ask her to marry me before i ago, just incase i dont come back. i love her with all my heart, i would give my life for her. but do you guys ever have the feeling how do you know if they are the one. its just so mind boggling to me. and advice would help.
thanks
josh
First of all thank you for serving our country and protecting all of us. I admire you and my prayers are with you. I hope and pray that you will have a short tour over there and return home safe. But know that you are going over there with my gratitude for keeping us all safe.
Now, to answer your question... Ask yourself this one question... "If I weren't going away would I ask her to marry me right now?" Whatever you answer is what you should do. Unfortunately everyone asks the same questions that you are right now when they are considering marriage and sometimes the answer is that you need more time to know for sure. I say that if they answer is that you would like a little more time to know what your feeling really are that you should wait. If she really loves you she will wait for you to get home. If you can honestly say that you would marry her if you were saying I would say congradulations and I wish for you many years of happiness and a wonderful life together.
Either decission you make it will be the right one for you. God Bless you and return home safe real soon... :)
hey well im kinda having a problem..well one of my BEST FRIENDS is having a huge problem..shes starting to take pills to make her depression go away and shes starting on mj, booze, etc..and she would NEVER do this stuff..she told me that her dad abuses her and her dad doesnt let her eat until she finishs cleaning the house..and she has 7 brothers and sisters in the house so ITS NEVER CLEAN!!! everyday she comes crying to me..and shes the strongest person i have ever met in my life becuz her past was really bad..she was raped and mollested by her own mother..and her mom is living in arizona and she lives with her dad and his gf here in california. and he says that hes gonna send her back to arizona with her mom..and she says that shes gonna commit suicide becuz she has no point in living..and it sucks. PLEASE..PLEASE help me i really dont kno whut to do and please do not say "talk to her about it" or "tell an adult" becuz it wont work!!!! (ive tried sooo many times..) ugghh if u have any ides plese help me and ill be sure to rate ya.
First of all witholding food from a child as a punishment is illegal. So is sexual abuse. You can call Child Protective Services and report this and not give your name. That is what I would do. The depression and suicide will go away when she is out from under the abuse. They will never know you are the one that called either and they can go to her school and talk to her so that her father isn't present and she won't feel threatened. That is the first thing that I would do. Get this stuff reported so that she can move on with her ife in a healthy environment and your friend will never have to know that you betrayed her trust. You could even talk to your Mom and have her call if you don't want to but in the State of California every call even if the caller does not identify themselves has to be investigated.
Then just be there for her. Let her talk to you and encourage her to tell someone like a teacher or counselor. If you start doing this now she may have the courage to tell the social worker that comes out to talk with her. Have any of the other kids been abused by their Mom or Dad? If so make sure that you mention all of the kids that have been abused so that the social worker talks to all of them. Then no one will ever know that it was you. One of the siblings could have told someone or called it in themselves.
One way or the other you can't keep quiet about it. You have to tell someone even if you don't give a name. But your friend is in extreme danger one way or the other. Many times telling someone that they are going to kill themselves is a way of reaching out for help and if you keep quiet they don't get the help they are reaching out for. So if you call in and don't give your name then it will not effect your friendship with her because she will never know it was you and then she can get the help she needs and it sounds like she needs to get out of her current living situation.
Let me know how things turn out. And if you need to talk I am here. Many times the person that is being told goes through a lot of stress and anxiety and feelings of hopelessness because they don't know what to do so remember that you aren't alone.
Best of luck... :)
Ok..Me and this guy lets just say his name is Bob.Well,me and Bob talked for a month and we eventually went out.I have really strong feelings for Bob.Well,we broke up 2 months later because he thought I cheated on him because one of his friends said I did.Well,we still were best friends after we broke up and we can talk about ANYTHING!Well,after me and Bob broke up I started talking to his brother(i know thats SO wrong)Well,me and his brother talked for about 3 months and we eventually went out but we only lasted for 2 weeks.After me and his brother broke up,Bob called me out of nowhere.I didnt realize it was his # and so he got on AIM and I asked him why he called me?He said because I missed talkin to u and I want to be in a relationship with u and I want it to last this time.I've been with a lot of girls but ur the only girl who has been there for me through everything and I want our relationship to last.I asked him if he really meant that and he said he did.We're not exactly goin out again yet but were about too.Anywayz...to my question.I've always had feelings for him as the b/f type and I can actually picture myself marrying him if thats crazy!But...ever since he said that to me,hes ALL I ever think about!!!He calls me his "boo"all the time and tells me he loves me.Could this be love?does it sound like love to u?I've known him over a year.I have been there for him through everything.I know everything about him.Please help me because I'am not sure if I'am in love or not!I RATE!Thanx!
I believe that you have love for this guy or you wouldn't still be his friend and you wouldn't be thinking about where this could go in the future if you didn't have love or at the very least strong feelings for him. But, are you in love with him? I don't know, only time will tell that for sure. You need to spend some time with him and see if those feelings grow and if they do great and if they don't at least you will know for sure. I would date him for a while and if it turns out that your feelings are getting stronger then make it an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and then see where it leads after that. This very well may be love but you will never know for sure until you give it some time to find out. Let me know how things progress and remember this, one way or the other being in love will come. Enjoy the ride on the way there and don't let things become physical until you are sure where this trip is going to take you. Best of luck!
Ok I just got over this relationship from an online girl. We were together 5 months but she held so many lies to me and I never saw her. She lived like 4.5 hours away from me tho. But here is the question. I meet this other girl and she likes me and I like her. She lives in the same state and pretty close. How should I go about this without getting hurt again? I would love to be with her but just am scared i'll be hurt. Please help all that can. Thanks Much
If we spend our lives worrying about getting hurt and never letting anyone in then no one hurts us we just hurt ourselves and wind up alone. Stop worrying about getting hurt and go have a life with a real girl that wants to give back to you. If you get hurt then you get hurt and move on but if you never put yourself out there so that no one can hurt you then you live a miserable lonely life. Not much help I know but it is the truth. The way I see it is that you take chances or you live alone. Chances are that one day you will make that leap of faith and it will stick. Unfortunately life doesn't come with a no hurt clause. I sure wish it did. Best of luck... :)
Me and my Boyfriend (are in our early 20's) have been together for 2 years now. We are complete opposites. (in everyway) But I cant be more the 50 miles from my mother and he wants to move back to Philly. (I live in Nevada) We love eachother but I am lost as to what to do. I will not be happy so far from family and he isnt happy here. We just want to be happy! What do I do?
The girl with the short embilicalcord!
Many couples are exact opposites and they have a wonderful life together. Ask yourself this, are you ready to marry him? If that answer is no then you have your answer. If you answer yes then you need to talk to him if he feels the same and is ready to marry you then marry him and move with him to Philly and stay in touch with your family. If he isn't ready then your answer is simple. Family is wonderful and should be cherished but love doesn't come around every day. If you and he are ready to get married and that love is storng enough to say forever and mean it then you need to marry him and follow him and leave your family to be with your husband to make a new life and family together. Your family will always be there for you and you can write, make phone calls and visits to stay close. If the love between you isn't storng enough to marry before you move then break up and stay friends. Best of luck... :)
My question is I have know this guy for almost fifteen years. We have known each other since the third grade and the whole time I have known him I like more then just a friend. We used to be good friends but in eighth grade he asked me if I wanted to have sex with him and when he asked me I didn't say anything. But after that day we weren't good of friends like we were before because I didn't know how to act around him. But in high school I noticed that he still likes me because I use to catch him looking at me and smiling and sometimes we would smile when ever we looked at each other because we always had a class together through high school. When we graduated he wrote something really nice but the thing is I don't know if he is the type of guy to write the same thing in every girls yearbook or if he just did it in mine. But to this day I don't know if he wants to be more then friends or not. But I found out that he hoined the army and I am thinking of writing him a letter but I am not sure because we haven't keep in touch in almost four years so what should I do.
Write to him. Tell him that you were thinking about all of the good times you used to have together and tell him that you really respect his decission that he is going in the service and you would like to have dinner before he leaves. Act like that day never happened and that you simply haven't seen each other in a while. Hopefully if he really cares about you still he will call you up and you two will have dinner. If he doesn't have the time maybe he will write to you while he is away. One way or the other ask him to keep in touch and make sure as soon as he writes you that you write him back right away. Don't push just let him know that you are there. Best of luck and let me know what happens... :)
Hi guys, This may sound weird comming form a 22 yera old but my doctor was no help when I asked her this question. Some imput from you guys might be good. I have been on and off of the pill sence I have been 15. I recently started up again after being off of them for a few years. This is my second month. I know the hormones are supose to affect you but I am finding myself very moody. I have never had bad PMS or every been moody. I find myself wanting to cry a lot more for no reason, or just really snippy at everyone. I hate this its not me. I was always happy and I loved everyone. The last 2 months have been hell with these mood swings. I am even snapping at my BF whom I love more than anything in the world. I dont want this new attitude to ruin anything we have. I am really worried. I dont want to be off the pill cause we are not ready for kids yet. Is there anything I can do to get back to normal? Thanks guys I really appreciate your info. *Christin*
It is a horomone imbalance and I am shocked that your doctor didn't see this. You are showing classic symptoms. You are either on too low of a dose or not a large enough of one. Many times it will balance itself out in three to six months but sometimes it is just a sign that you need a different pill. Go to a different doctory preferrable an OB/GYN that actually knows what they are doing. The pill often does that it is a common problem among women. Good luck!