Okay here's my problem...I slept with my best friend, but he doesn't remember, and now I might be pregnant. Maybe I should explain...About a month & a half ago, my best friend/roommate and I went to a party and when we got home we kinda started making out (we had both been drinking). When he said he something that he really needed to tell me, and said that he was in love with me. It was so sweet and we ended up sleeping together. The next morning I woke up before him and cooked breakfast for him. But when he woke up, he was really confused, and he said he couldn't remember how he got home, and he really didn't remember anything since the beginning of the party the night before. I was freaking out and I didn't say anything about what happened between us. We later found out that someone had put something in the drinks at the party and a bunch of people couldn't remember stuff. I had decided that I wasn't going to tell him about out night together because it would be to weird. Then I didn't get my period this month, so now I'm really freaking out. I know I need to tell him but I don't know how. Then to make matters worse, I was trying to tell him yesterday, and he said that he wanted to tell me something (I thought he was gonna say he loved me) and he said that he was still a virgin and he was saving himself for the person that he was gonna spend the rest of his life with. I didn't think it was possible to feel any worse. I'm 22 and he's 20.
Can anyone help me please? I don't know what to do...
Additional info, added Wednesday September 1 2004, 5:21 am: I just took a pregnancy test, then I took another one, just to be sure. They both came back positive.. Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? YaYaSis answered Saturday October 9 2004, 3:20 am: Well you know that you need to tell him so this is my advise. First off it needs to be a controled situation so you need to make sure that there are no interruptions. Tell him that you and he need to have a serious talk. Ask him to commit to a time that he can give you his undivided attention. If he says sure right now say, "No, lets actually schedule a time." This will give you plenty of time to prepare for it. Suggest say tomorrow at six in the evening. That way both of you can wrap your day up and be prepared for a sit down discussion. Then make dinner, or order out for it. Then sit down and tell him exactly what happened the night that you are talking about. Do not mention the pregnacy until you both have time to talk about how you are feeling about what happened. Tell him everything that he said to you and right up until the point that he woke up to you making him breakfast and he was confused and why you decided not to tell him. Let him discuss hoe he feels about it. If he tries to leave tell him that you really need to talk about this further. If he insists then tell him that you would like to talk more that there are more things that you need to get out in the open. When he has digested all of this tell him that you have doen a home pregnacy test and it comes up positive. That you have not seen a doctor yet and will be calling on Monday to set that up but if you are that it is his.
Make sure that you don't tell him that you slept together and you may be pregnant in the same sentence. Let him have time to digest the first before you drop the second. It may turn out that he tells you the same thing, that he is in love with you and he may be upset that you didn't tell him sooner but explain that you were embarrassed when he didn't remember and you weren't sure at first if he was just saying that because he had regrets. Be totally honest with him from the beginning about what happened and your feelings before you tell him that you two may be parents.
K3587 answered Wednesday September 15 2004, 7:59 pm: Well obviously the guy's gotta know. Just because he was too messed up to remember (or is really good at faking it) doesn't make him any less the father. Judging from the situation it is possible for him not to remember....but it also just sounds like a classic case of "I bet if I say I love her when she's drunk she'll do me."
ChuckNyby answered Friday September 3 2004, 4:51 pm: I'm doubting that he was so drunk he didn't remember, but was able to perform sexually. Paaaaleeeezzz. He knows exactly what happened and that you two weren't safe. Stop being passive and call him on his nonsense. His confession that he loves you is a classic trick to get girls in the sack (I'm kind of surprised you fell for it). Its also way to manipulative for someone saying they want to stay a virgin until marriage. You're both responsible for your pregnancy if you indeed are, so call him out and insist he be a man about whatever your decision is. [ ChuckNyby's advice column | Ask ChuckNyby A Question ]
EnchantedSage answered Thursday September 2 2004, 2:17 am: Well, since both tests came back positive, I think you have no choice but to tell him the truth. You shouldn't have to go through finding out for sure about the pregnancy all alone anyway. If you two are true friends, then you can lean on each other and get through this very complex and scary time together. I also understand that you feel bad about him saving himself, but remember that you didn't do anything wrong. You were both under the influence of something you didn't know you were taking and although he will most likely be disappointed and upset about losing his virginity and not remembering it, he has no reason to be angry with you about it. On the bright side, if something this freaky had to happen to you, I suppose it's better that it happened with someone you know and trust and even if he doesn't love you in a romantic way, you know that he cares about you as a person. Baby or no baby, I think it's best to come clean with your friend and tell him everything you remember. It's what a best friend would do for another best friend. Best of luck to you.
xXrEdHeAdDeVLxX answered Tuesday August 31 2004, 8:49 pm: You should really find out if you are pregnant or onot. If you are, and its not too late, and you dont wanna have a kid, you might be able to go onto birth control. whether or not youre pregnant, the guys gotta know. but be prepared to have him be really mad. ((Hope I helped)) [ xXrEdHeAdDeVLxX's advice column | Ask xXrEdHeAdDeVLxX A Question ]
xxoBriannax answered Tuesday August 31 2004, 5:08 pm: O man, tell him.
bella627 answered Tuesday August 31 2004, 3:30 pm: You do have to tell him. If it was the other way around you would want to know, right? Since he is your best friend, it should be easier to sit down and talk with him. Just explain to him that you had no way of knowing that he was so out of it...tell him about what he said about being in love with you. I'm sure he'll understand that you weren't trying to take advantage of him or anything. He might be upset and angry, but just give him time. Then just in case you are pregnant, you can go from there...but I would find out for sure ASAP. Good luck! [ bella627's advice column | Ask bella627 A Question ]
BrunetteBeauti answered Tuesday August 31 2004, 1:31 pm: u hav 2 tell him. wut if u r pregnant???? then wut??? u hav 2 tell him or things will get relly messed up.
Laura answered Tuesday August 31 2004, 9:18 am: I agree with allisonmarie, I think you should tell your friend, I know I'd want to know if someone slept with me. It's not really fair to keep it a secret. If he's really your friend, you can probably talk to him. He may be very angry with you, or very upset, but he needs to know.
And remember, it could be stress of the whole situation making your period late. But still, buy a pregnancy test (EPT, error proof test, works great).
xxxxxx answered Tuesday August 31 2004, 9:03 am: wow, that is really tough. i'm really sorry and i hope everything turns out fine. i think, you should find out if you're pregnant or not. if you're not, don't tell him. theres no reason to. unless you think it's for his own good. but it might really freak him out. and if you are pregnant, you have no choice. plan out what you are going to say. this is a really tough situation, im sorry i can't help... [ xxxxxx's advice column | Ask xxxxxx A Question ]
alisonmarie answered Tuesday August 31 2004, 7:24 am: Whether you are pregnant or not, your best friend deserves to know that he is no longer a virgin. Be prepared for disbelief, shock, or anger - but it is the only right thing to do to tell him.
As far as your chances of pregnancy, how late is your period? If it's at least two weeks late, then your best bet is to buy an over-the-counter pregnancy test. Follow the directions carefully, and you'll have your answer soon enough. [ alisonmarie's advice column | Ask alisonmarie A Question ]
mshonest4eva answered Tuesday August 31 2004, 6:52 am: You need to tell him the truth. You HAVE to, since he'll find out sooner or later. If you havent had you period, then it might be late, but still, you always want to go to the doctor and check it out. Always be on the safe side. And you have to make sure that he understands that you are telling the truth, not just trying to freak him out. Hope I helped!!
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