No Nonsense:
I will not try to make you feel better. I will not consider your feelings. I will not tell you what you want to hear, unless what you want to hear is the truth. I will tell you like it is and if you can be objective it just might help.
P.S. If you think I'm wrong you need a second opinion.
Gender: Male
Location: Eugene
Occupation: Social Worker
Age: 25
Member Since: September 3, 2004
Answers: 11
Last Update: September 30, 2004
Visitors: 2689
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General Sex Questions
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this is a really fast question. how do you get a guy interested? (link)
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Do you want the easy way or the hard way. Flirting with the idea that sex way be available is the easist way. Problem is with respect, most guys don't genuinely respect this after sex takes place.
If you want to work at it you have to do things to catch his eye. Flaunt your best attributes, whatever those may be. Flirt with him but leave him hanging and always guessing what your intentions. Laugh at him even if he's not funny and most of all make him feel important, basically make him feel like the man. Be confident because that can make up for what you may or may not lack in physical attractiveness.
Let me know how it works or if you need more clarification.
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This is a bit of a hot-button topic and I want everyone to know that I understand extreme responses, but I am asking here in the spirit of recieving support and suggestions. I'm interested in the practicalities of your opinions, here, not simply upon recieving judgement. PLEASE show some compassion and kindness.
So here's the deal: Next week I'm taking a plane flight to Scotland to marry my partner of 6 years. We have a very strong relationship. However, I feel I have very little on the level of practical support to offer in the relationship -- such as a finished education, a job, general income, etc. This relationship is my priority at all times and I will not compromise it for anything.
Recently, I was looking through job offers in a local paper and found an ad for escorts, offering daily cash, a safe environment, and training. According to the person running this service, an escort can make $10,000 a week -- with such an income, I could not only prepare MYSELF for travel, but I could help my incapacitated father a $1000 root canal on his last working tooth (his densures don't work for chewing), I could pay off ALL my college debts, and I could move on with my life.
However, I know that there are many negative aspects to consider in the world of escorting: disease, stigma, relationship integrity, and legality, as well as personal spiritual health & self-image.
If I lived in a world that had none of the above negative factors, I'd be all over the opportunity! Unfortunately, such a world doesn't exist, and I'm here asking you for alternate ideas, suggestions, anything really.
I'm stuck between my debts, my desire to contribute & not be dependent, my sense of responsibility, my feelings of inadequacy and desperation, and a general feeling that escorting is not something I should do, due to the risks. Help? (link)
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Let's break down your dilema.
You want money (the reason is not important as the importance of money to the individual varies depending upon their individual issues)
You identifed that sex is a way that you can make a lot of money fast.
You also identified that if it had no drawbacks you would go through with it.
The problem is that you've accumulated debts, and now you want the instant gratification of having them gone by looking for a quick fix.
The issue is instant gratification. You can get to where you want to be by working at it methodically and sticking to a plan (very hard to do). Or you can sell yourself out and get the quick fix. Typically no matter how you look at it the quick fix is rarely met through legitimate means.
I'm guessing there are other avenues of your life that may need to be examined, that you didn't share in your short message, but with what you gave I can sense you're looking for someone to talk you into escorting rather than talk you out of it.
Debts are monetary and emotions are permanent effected by our actions. Debts are an extension of who we are they do not make up our emotional being. Therefore I think you need to re-prioritize what is important to you and if you cannot I'd recommend you embrace the fact you want everything solved right away.
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This year while I was vacationing in a place I regularly visit I met a girl. The night after I met her I drank way to much and ended up losing my virginity with her. I was really beating myself up over it the next morning, but it turned out that we hooked up for the entire time I was vacationing, however we never slept together again. The problem is, she doesn't know she was my first. She actually thinks she was my 3rd. Now im beating myself up for lying to her, but Im afraid that if I tell her now things could get awkward and I may not ever see her again. I feel horrible about lying, but if things got weird between me and her and I lost contact with her I would probably fall over and just never get up. I'm not sure whether to tell her, and if I do, I'm not sure how or when. I am extrememly thankful for any help someone can give me. (link)
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Why in the world would you tell her? She is a vacation fling not a long term love interest. Let her think what she wants. You could tell her some additional stories if that gets her hot. I'd advise against thinking this could be a serious thing. Have a good time and enjoy the memory of losing it because it belonged to you not her. However, I'd try it one more time sober just for an added bonus.
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As part of my value system, I feel it is necessary for me to save my virginity for whomever might become my wife.
My foresight has not predicted I would be in my early thirties and still not in the position whereby I would be in a deep relationship.
Being without this in my life has detimentally affected my emotional health.
How can I find the best way to cope? (link)
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If porno and lotion don't help I'd advise paying a hooker. This is simply no way for a man to go through life.
Oh wait you have values....hmmmm....let me think for a second.
I'd seriously lower your standards. I'm surprised you're so distraught when you haven't been able to see what you're missing.
Advertising and mass media can be a bitch in that regard I know, because sex is everywhere. I'd re-evaluate your moral beliefs or start dating overweight mormons.
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i was dating this guy for about 3 months and things got pretty serious. we spent every day together and he would stay and my house and vice versa. his ex girlfriend called one night and he broke up with me to see if things would work with her and they didnt. he called about a month after we broke up and said that he made a huge mistake for breaking up with me cause i was the best thing that had ever happened to him. we got back together and things were great, actually better than ever or so i thought. one day when she called again he started getting weird again and told me that he once again needed time. i took all of my stuff from his house and said that i wasnt playing second best anymore. i gave him all i had and thought that this was it. that he was the one. and unfortunately im a mess over him. i know he treats me horrible in this situation but ive never been so inlove with someone before. and i dont know what to do. someone just help. please. (link)
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There is nothing you can do. You were a rebound fling and no matter what you do, you cannot change that. The only person who can is him and history shows that is unlikely. I would suggest you grieve your loss, move on and chalk this one up to something you try not to repeat in the future. Try sleeping with one of his friends if you want to keep his attention, but don't bank on having a true relationship with him again.
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Is it true that girls dont like gamers? By gamers i mean people who play video games as a hobby or a profession. Also is it true that they dont like computer techs? It seems like everywhere around where i live that girls find that to be a turn off. I live in Tennessee, if that helps. Just wondering. (link)
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I will re-phrase your questions. Hot girls don't like "gamers" and neither do girls who have what you call a LIFE or a prospect. If you snag a really desperate, dependent, needy and most likely dorky girl you might do okay. I would suggest you either grow out of your "gaming" phase before trying to date or embrace the fact that you will be masturbating for the foreseeable future.
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I'm 20 years old. Female. I've been with my man for about 4 months and I definately feel that I'm head over heels in love with him when it's just the two of us but when I'm around other guys I start thinking about dating other people. How come one minuet I feel like I could marry my love but then another minuet I think about wandering to other guys? (link)
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Because you are not in love. You are in lust. Its been way too soon to know you're in love and I promise that if you give it 4 more months the love feeling will wear off a bit. Enjoy your youth and don't get stuck in a situation you will regret later. And most of all don't tell him you love him.
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I am 21 female with need of advice!
2 years ago i was in a relathionship with a man i loved and still love very much, we where together for 4 years. My relathionship started when i was just 15 and went on till i was 18. Though i know at this age you never know what love really is he was somehting special! now that we are seperated we are still very good freinds and see each other when we can, but the break up hurt me very much and left me with a fear of rejection. Anyway now that i have the background in place my problem is that i can't seem to find a new person to replace the old. I have tried and dated many but all of them go down the drain! i think my major probelm is that i have forgoten how to flirt and scare off men that are attracted to me! how do i open my self to men without the fear of being hurt again!? (link)
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I would suggest you don't open yourself up until you've gotten a chance to figure out what they are all about. The saying Rome wasn't built in a day would apply here. You don't have to establish a long term relationship with the next guy you meet. I would suggest seeing more than one guy at a time until you find the one that you feel best about. And only when you feel there is a mutual relationship (even after you've had sex) then open yourself up. Embrace casual dating and sex and stop trying to marry the next dude that comes along.
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Okay here's my problem...I slept with my best friend, but he doesn't remember, and now I might be pregnant. Maybe I should explain...About a month & a half ago, my best friend/roommate and I went to a party and when we got home we kinda started making out (we had both been drinking). When he said he something that he really needed to tell me, and said that he was in love with me. It was so sweet and we ended up sleeping together. The next morning I woke up before him and cooked breakfast for him. But when he woke up, he was really confused, and he said he couldn't remember how he got home, and he really didn't remember anything since the beginning of the party the night before. I was freaking out and I didn't say anything about what happened between us. We later found out that someone had put something in the drinks at the party and a bunch of people couldn't remember stuff. I had decided that I wasn't going to tell him about out night together because it would be to weird. Then I didn't get my period this month, so now I'm really freaking out. I know I need to tell him but I don't know how. Then to make matters worse, I was trying to tell him yesterday, and he said that he wanted to tell me something (I thought he was gonna say he loved me) and he said that he was still a virgin and he was saving himself for the person that he was gonna spend the rest of his life with. I didn't think it was possible to feel any worse. I'm 22 and he's 20.
Can anyone help me please? I don't know what to do... (link)
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I'm doubting that he was so drunk he didn't remember, but was able to perform sexually. Paaaaleeeezzz. He knows exactly what happened and that you two weren't safe. Stop being passive and call him on his nonsense. His confession that he loves you is a classic trick to get girls in the sack (I'm kind of surprised you fell for it). Its also way to manipulative for someone saying they want to stay a virgin until marriage. You're both responsible for your pregnancy if you indeed are, so call him out and insist he be a man about whatever your decision is.
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what is a good way to ask a guy out? (link)
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If you are an attractive woman there is really no WRONG way to do it. Guys are typically flattered and surprised when women ask them out. But, you have to know whether he is in, out of or below your league. If he is either in or below you can't go wrong. If he is out of your league you're destined for rejection and embarrassment. Make sure you keep good eye contact and it would benefit you if you knew how to be seductive with it. Good luck.
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can u get pregnant if a guy busts in ur mouth when your giving him head? (link)
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You really can't be serious. Well just in case you actually are....the answer is absolutely not.
Don't forget to visit my column.
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