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Escorting
This is a bit of a hot-button topic and I want everyone to know that I understand extreme responses, but I am asking here in the spirit of recieving support and suggestions. I'm interested in the <i>practicalities</i> of your opinions, here, not simply upon recieving judgement. PLEASE show some compassion and kindness.
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So here's the deal: Next week I'm taking a plane flight to Scotland to marry my partner of 6 years. We have a very strong relationship. However, I feel I have very little on the level of practical support to offer in the relationship -- such as a finished education, a job, general income, etc. This relationship is my priority at all times and I will not compromise it for anything.
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Recently, I was looking through job offers in a local paper and found an ad for escorts, offering daily cash, a safe environment, and training. According to the person running this service, an escort can make $10,000 a week -- with such an income, I could not only prepare MYSELF for travel, but I could help my incapacitated father a $1000 root canal on his last working tooth (his densures don't work for chewing), I could pay off ALL my college debts, and I could move on with my life.
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However, I know that there are many negative aspects to consider in the world of escorting: disease, stigma, relationship integrity, and legality, as well as personal spiritual health & self-image.
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If I lived in a world that had none of the above negative factors, I'd be all over the opportunity! Unfortunately, such a world doesn't exist, and I'm here asking you for alternate ideas, suggestions, anything really.
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I'm stuck between my debts, my desire to contribute & not be dependent, my sense of responsibility, my feelings of inadequacy and desperation, and a general feeling that escorting is not something I should do, due to the risks. Help?
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My husband makes a lot of money a year, enough to where he bought me a house for Christmas, diamonds and the like BUT I AMJUST A SCHOOL TEACHER and COUNSLEOR who doens't make nearly...NEARLY as much as he makes. He and I have had this discussion before with him and here is his answqer. He loves me for me,things take time and patience and one day I will be able to contribute more but HE KNEW WHAT I WAS AND WHAT I HAD BEFORE HE MARRIED ME and it didn't matter. He wanted me...not what I could give monetarily. I mean, he is glad I have a job but he knows I am not bringing in the kind of money he is. I had an offer to dowhat you are planning to do a long time agao (like 7 years ago) but they wanted me to run the house. They were going to buy the house, have me live in it, let it be in my name and all I had to do was teach the girls how to be sexy and let them use the house ford ates. The money seemed good..GREAT but something inside said it was wrong...just didn't feel right.Not just because of the stigma of being in a job like that..just wrong inside. If I really wanted to do it, I wouldn't have had to think about it or ask my friends advice, I would have just did it. Look at the reason you are asking for advice, you feel it is not right somewhere within you as well. If you felt it was okay and wouldn't jeopardize your future with your partner, you would have just did it without asking anyone anything. Also, think of it in the other direction..you know the love you have for your partener and wouldn't want them to not only sleep with other people for money (and come home to you) but also risk their safety in the process(from arrests to psychos doing things to your loved one). You wouldn't want your loved one to feel this type of pressure inside just because of some preconceived notion that they may have about having to contribute more in order to make you happier or feel like they were less of a burden to you. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt and know that they are marrying you for LOVE not your charitable contributions. Love..Sweetheart..LOVE.
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If you feel that you would be able to handle the emotional trama that might occur in such a job, and you use the right safety precautions, such as condoms (you can use them in an escort service) and you get tested regularly for STDs, then go for it. You need to fully understand what you are going to be doing to your body, and how it will effect you; ask yourself if its really worth it: money or self respect. It would make your financial trouble diminish, but would your partner think it was worth it? You shoud decide what you want more, and be careful if you choose to pursue that line of work. Make sure you comfortable in your surroundings.
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well, for those of us who know html, we got the point, now, didn't we? :)
regarding your question, which was - thank god - a very good one, you should not take the job. if this relationship is your highest priority, then money is not, and even if the both of you are poor, you should still be happy - if your love is truly that strong. if it isn't, then so be it, and you can rest easy knowing that you did not compromise your values. that general feeling sounds like your conscience, or perhaps more accurately, your subconscious.
if you are college-educated, there should be a wide variety of jobs available to you, quite possibly even more in scotland.
please, if you want to retain your integrity and your self-respect, DON'T DO IT. yes, i am saying 'please' in my advice. i'm that sure of it.
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fuck for money, brothelz are safe, once you get past the aidz, n stds, n the murder (big grin)
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I moved to London to marry my partner, and I faced many of the same issues you do. My partner funded my Master's Degree, our rent, our food, and all the bills. I had very little money to offer.
I let her know how concerned I was, and she assured me that she didn't think my contributions had to be fiscal; she wanted my love, support, humour, and presence in her life.
No matter where you are in the world, you can't help the stage you are at. I'd talk to your partner and make sure you'll be able to make things swing financially; if so, I'd look at the next steps.
Do you want a college degree? Do you want to just find a job?
Britain has great resources for job hunters, which I'm sure your partner can tell you about. They also have structured training programmes which the US does not have; including job apprenticeships, professional qualifications you get on the job, etc.
I'm sure your partner would rather have a poor you than no you at all; if you choose a career which could lead to the dissolving of your relationship, which I reasonably think escorting could do, you're worse off than when you started.
Let me know if you have more specific questions about Britain, job hunting, or the like. Good luck.
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Let's break down your dilema.
You want money (the reason is not important as the importance of money to the individual varies depending upon their individual issues)
You identifed that sex is a way that you can make a lot of money fast.
You also identified that if it had no drawbacks you would go through with it.
The problem is that you've accumulated debts, and now you want the instant gratification of having them gone by looking for a quick fix.
The issue is instant gratification. You can get to where you want to be by working at it methodically and sticking to a plan (very hard to do). Or you can sell yourself out and get the quick fix. Typically no matter how you look at it the quick fix is rarely met through legitimate means.
I'm guessing there are other avenues of your life that may need to be examined, that you didn't share in your short message, but with what you gave I can sense you're looking for someone to talk you into escorting rather than talk you out of it.
Debts are monetary and emotions are permanent effected by our actions. Debts are an extension of who we are they do not make up our emotional being. Therefore I think you need to re-prioritize what is important to you and if you cannot I'd recommend you embrace the fact you want everything solved right away.
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well there deal is you said that your and the guys relationship is number one priority and i know i wouldnt want my girl to be an escort...i dont care if it wouldnt mean nething to you or not its stil the fact that you did do it...i would strongly recommend not doing it...and also the wont you wanna be independent thats not marriage at all...marriage basically means dependence you basically rely on each other,you cant live without them..just tell him that u feel ur not bringing alot to the table and i know he will understand cus he loves you for you not what you have or havent got...and besides money is not worth the trade for the loss of ur n his relationship or ur self-image or ur health or intergrity or self worth....
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No judgments here. It's obvious that you are just trying to weigh the pros and cons for what seems like a possible solution to problems in your current circumstances. It is a very rational and understandable approach. However, it seems that you have already raised enough cons to tip the scale heavily in the "it's not a viable solution" side. It's obvious that the idea of escorting raises a lot of practical negative issues as well as some moral ones. (I'm not judging but making an observation based on the way you talked about it in your question).
Escorting may seem like a simple blanket solution, but I fear that it could cause more problems for you that it might solve. Maybe some of the problems/dangers you have already considered but sadly, there could be some you aren't even prepared for at all. Easy fixes are sometimes land mines in our lives.
I don't have a specific alternative solution for you, but I believe that if you make up your mind that the escorting is not a good idea and put it out of your head altogether, that will open up your mind to other possibilities.
In case you haven't realized it lately, please allow me to point out how lucky you are to be in a committed relationship with someone you love who loves you back. Talk to your partner. Be open and honest about your fears and your concerns. If you are serious about the idea of "partnering" with someone for life then you must realize that sometimes your partner leans on you and sometimes you lean on them. It's okay to let your guard down and be dependent on someone who you love and trust. In your long life together, there will be plenty of time for you to return the favor down the road. Best of luck to you with whatever you decide.
Kind wishes,
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I've heard this is a hard business to get out of, so for that reason alone I wouldn't recommend taking the job. Once you become accustomed to that kind of money, it's hard to get a "real" job afterwards.
I really don't think this would be an ideal job, especially since your relationship is your pirority. Would you appreciate if your partner became an escort? I'm assuming your partner works a 9-5 job, and escorts generally don't, so that would probably strain your relationship.
As for other jobs, you just have to be patient. It's probably going to take awhile. If your debts really are that bad, perhaps you should talk to a debt counsellor or something like that.
Best of luck
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ok escourting as in a sexual escort is a very very bad idea. there is escorts that do not involve sex that might work out for you. however it would not only damage your health, but what if your partner found out about your escourting? If you're not willing to sacrifice anything for your relationship, then do not do that.
A good way to make quick money is magazine publication. its not time consuming and depending on how much and what you write (and if they except it of course) you could make a decent hunk of change. write for a local paper or something. you are a decent writer from your question.
you can always pick up another job and such. if he's willing to marry you, i doubt very much he's not too worried about how much you make on the "practical" end of the relationship if he loves you that much. yes ofcourse you need money and such, but don't offer yourself and decency for that. there are other ways.
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I'm assuming you're a male.
If so, look at it this way, is your female compainion going to like you running all over the place with another woman? Sure the pay is nice, but wouldn't you rather have fun expierences with your finace', then some girl on the street?
About you're income, i'm sure your fiance' will love you either way, and as many say, it's the 'Mans duty' to take care of the household.
Finding a job is definatly a priority, but I'm not sure if you chose the right one.
You COULD make that much in a week, I highly doubt you will. Plus you'll be gone a lot.
Wouldn't you rather spend time with your fiance?
I can't give you your opinion, but that was mine. Good look and best wishes to your new life with your (almost) wife/husband.
Best Wishes,
AskMegan
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wow. if i were you, i wouldn't take the job, but then again i'm not in your situation. i can't think of other jobs that would make as much money, but getting a job would definetly help. get a job that you'd feel comfortable with, and that you wouldn't be ashamed to tell your friends and family. i hope i helped. good luck
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You're right its not something you should do. SO don't do it. What would your future husband think of you having a job like that? Its very dangerous, besdies diseases, someone could be a sicko and seriously hurt ir even kill you. Its too risky of a job, the money is not worth the risk and I would never suggest to anyone to do it.
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