This year while I was vacationing in a place I regularly visit I met a girl. The night after I met her I drank way to much and ended up losing my virginity with her. I was really beating myself up over it the next morning, but it turned out that we hooked up for the entire time I was vacationing, however we never slept together again. The problem is, she doesn't know she was my first. She actually thinks she was my 3rd. Now im beating myself up for lying to her, but Im afraid that if I tell her now things could get awkward and I may not ever see her again. I feel horrible about lying, but if things got weird between me and her and I lost contact with her I would probably fall over and just never get up. I'm not sure whether to tell her, and if I do, I'm not sure how or when. I am extrememly thankful for any help someone can give me.
tweedledum answered Thursday July 29 2004, 8:45 am: don't tell her. she doesnt need to know as long as you aren't trying to start a more serious relationship with her. boy meets girl, boy sleeps with girl, boy and girl go separate ways. its not the most romantic scenario in existence but its exceedingly common. you'll probably be obsessive about her for a while just because the first person you have sex with sticks with you regardless of the relationship (or lack thereof) behind it. should you tell her, she's just going to freak out because what in her mind was a casual hook up is in your world a giant first. she'll most likely feel guilty and really awkward around you. [ tweedledum's advice column | Ask tweedledum A Question ]
missxkisz answered Sunday July 25 2004, 10:34 am: I had the exact same problem with my best friend. Everyone knew he was gay but he just wasn't ready to tell. He eventually came out,and gained alot more respect for it. However, don't rush him into confessing anything, he'll do it eventually if he IS gay, it's not an easy thing for someone to come out and say. The best thing you can do is continue to be his friend, stick up for him when someoen calls him gay (EVEN IF YOU AGREE) and eventually he'll come out, when HE'S ready. We forced my friend too, and it's something I regret a whole bunch looking back on. Just don't hassle him about it...like I said, he'll come out some day, that is, if he's gay...he could just be feminine? [ missxkisz's advice column | Ask missxkisz A Question ]
selectopaque answered Saturday July 24 2004, 4:11 pm: I don't your past should really matter. You have no reason that you need to tell her, but I don't really see any reason that she would get mad at you. Tell her why you lied in the first place. whether it's because you were embarrased or you just wanted to seem "cooler". She should understand, and forgive you.
But this whole thing should teach you not to lie to her about anything else, no matter how innocent it seems, it will always come back to you and/or eat away at you. [ selectopaque's advice column | Ask selectopaque A Question ]
friendlyfig answered Saturday July 24 2004, 11:59 am: personally, i dont think u should tell her. So what, u had good fun with her..you know better now not to ever lie again about your secual life. I agree totally with you, and i would think that things would most likely get akward like you say. Do what your heart tells you. By the way, congrats on losing ur virginity =]
-hope i helped.
..alex <3 [ friendlyfig's advice column | Ask friendlyfig A Question ]
sxyxbabii answered Saturday July 24 2004, 11:49 am: aw things will be ok.. just tell her though! the more days you lie to her the worse your going to feel and the worse shes going ot feel when she finds out because you kept it from her longer! just tell her that you care about her a lot and you didn't want her to think that you were immature or something just because she was your first.. but make sure you tell her you really carea bout her and your real sorry for lying to her.. stuff liek that just speak from your heart! let her know how much you like her and all.. the more you speak from what you think the better things will be!! [ sxyxbabii's advice column | Ask sxyxbabii A Question ]
xoLilBayb3ox96 answered Friday July 23 2004, 6:54 pm: If the relationship is important to her then she'll stay. Its not like you killed someone.. its a simple mistake.. tell her the truth and apoligize and say u dont want to lose her [ xoLilBayb3ox96's advice column | Ask xoLilBayb3ox96 A Question ]
Siren_Cytherea answered Friday July 23 2004, 6:37 pm: Alrightie.
You need to tell her the truth. Just explain to her your reasoning for lying (like you wanted to sound experienced, or whatever) and apologize profusely.
Tell her you really, really don't want things to get awkward between the two of you, and just be really gentle about it. Look in her eyes when you talk to her. Helps strengthen the feeling of honesty. Tell her you don't want to lose contact, but you're willing to accept the fact that she may be mad at you.
She'll think this is horribly mature, and may not get AS mad.
Know this, though - she very well may get mad at first, but she'll eventually live with it and probably thank you for opening up and being honest with her. I mean, if my guy lied to me, then told me the truth, god knows I'd be pissed, but I'd learn to live with the fact that he told me the truth in the end.
Honesty really is the best policy in relationships like this, and you need to be honest.
Hope I helped!
-Siren =) [ Siren_Cytherea's advice column | Ask Siren_Cytherea A Question ]
KraZyBaByx0x answered Friday July 23 2004, 5:47 pm: Well if its really killing you up inside to the point where you cnt hold it in ne more..have a romantic evening with her and be like talking to her and juss pop up this-
*im sryy i lyed to you but i have never done it before with another grl..the reason is i was waiting for the right grl to come around and when u can around i fell in love with you and i thought to myself this is the grl..the one that i want to be with forever..:p
the sooner ya tell her the betta...i mean like just wen you guys get to the topic and stuff just be all like...well i lied it was actually my first time...if she likes you as much as you like her then shell prolly be all like iite watebe...theres nothin ya goota lose...ya noe? [ missing-identity-seeker's advice column | Ask missing-identity-seeker A Question ]
HollyAnn2282 answered Friday July 23 2004, 5:42 pm: I think you should tell her. just be like i have something to confuse. I wanted to make myself look a lot better by telling you I had sex with 2 other people before you but you were actually my first. I hope you can forgive me for lying. Just tell her your really sorry! Good luck
-holly-
hope i helped [ HollyAnn2282's advice column | Ask HollyAnn2282 A Question ]
girdy_goo15 answered Friday July 23 2004, 5:29 pm: dear should i,
i think that you should tell her. don't be ashamed that she was your first. she will probably be honored! just tell her that you lied and tell her the truth. good luck!!
*~~~shana~~~* [ girdy_goo15's advice column | Ask girdy_goo15 A Question ]
xHeartxOfxGoldx answered Friday July 23 2004, 5:27 pm: Honesty is the best policy.. if you want this relationship to go anywhere, then you def. need to tell her the truth. Tell her your sorry that you lied but you were nervous ebcause you really liked her and you didnt want her to think that you were a loser because "all your friends have done it" for example. The longer you wait.. the worse it will be..Chances are she won't mind.... Maybe if she told you shes done it... and you come foward and say it was your first then she might tell you it was her first too. Who knows? I know you may regret it.. but talk to her about that to.. Just say "I know that we did it.. but Im not really ready to do it again.."(for example) thats only if your not.. well goodluck
hope i helped...
leave one in the inbox or im me if you need anymore advice...;)
Good Luck! I hope she understands and everything works out for you!!!
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