bella627's advice column

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Q: My GPA is a 4.1 something, and I am very proud. But this semester, I'm taking an AP class and it's extremely difficult. I don't know if I can even pass and I'm getting worried. Please answer the following questions:

1) Is getting a D bad?
2) Is failing one class bad?

I know that I'm not aiming for a D nor an F, but I'm just wondering. Please don't be mean or discouraging, yet be honest, too...=(

-Highschooler

Getting a low grade isn't "bad". I'm not sure how you're parents would feel about an F but as long as you are doing your best in the class they should understand that you are working hard in a very difficult class. One low grade isn't going to lower your GPA by much. If you think that your grade is low, maybe you could talk to your teacher about what you can do to bring your grade up a little.

Q: I'm a 17 y/o guy in highschool with a mad crush on this girl that I've known since middle school. In middle school, she tried to hook up with me in an indirect way with obvious hints but then I didn't have any idea what to do so we stayed friends. I guess I was still in that cootie phase of puberty. But now I'm a junior in highschool and recently she's been on my mind alot like crazy. There's something about her that keeps my head stuck on her all the time, other girls might catch my attention but damn she got something special. There are a few guys that are trying to hook up with her but I heard from word of mouf that she likes me. Now that I've given you the intel on my situation, I was wondering what would you do to get the girl or to improve the chances of hooking up with her? I'd be real grateful if you can help me out.

It sounds like you have a really good chance with this girl. If you guys have been friends for a while that's an awesome start, and it also gives you an edge over other guys that might like her. You should definitely tell her how you feel....it's like fate gave you guys a second chance. If you're not positive how she feels, you could always talk to one of her close friends. But I know most girls will wait for the guy to make the first move, especially if she was dropping hints before. Maybe you could ask her to go out to dinner or something and see what kind of vibe you get from her. And even if it doesn't work out then you won't be left with all the what ifs. So definitely give it a shot. And DON'T play any games, like flirting with other girls or ignoring her. It may sound stupid but there ARE guys out there that do that!
Hope I helped!! GOOD LUCK!!!

Q: what does it meen if a guy gives you beads? my cousin was all talking about how slutty these gurls were because they were sitting by their boyfriends with a whole bunch of beads around their necks. i didn't know but laughed along with her with no idea on what she was talking about. i know it must have somthing to do with sex but what? p.s. please don't delete!

it's a mardi gras thing... generally, guys have all these beads and in order for girls to get them, they have to flash the guys. but that style of beads is given away or sold at alot of different events so if a girl is wearing them, it doesn't necessarily mean that they did something slutty to get them.

Q: I get the worst cramps when I get my period. It's usually my first or second day when I get these horrible cramps. I take Motrin, drink tea and use a heating pad. Nothing I do seems to really work and my cramps get so terrible I just want to die. Is there something I can do or take that will make them go away?

I used to have the same problem. But a few years ago I started taking birth control pills and I hardly ever get cramps anymore. And when I do get them they're not bad and go away with advil. So that's something else to look in to. Talk to your doctor, they'll know what the best one for you is.

Q: I'm a 17 year old manle, and I have my mood changes just like every1 else, but it seems when i get depressed...it really hits me. LAtely it's hit be pretty hard becos it just appears the everything i do or everyone i come in contact with i just screw up, and i often have this feeling like i just want to get away from it all, just...go somewhere and leave my problems. Are these just normal feelings? and does anyone have any ideas for getting out of these moods? I have no thoughts of suicide or anything, I'm not like that, but i just have these terrible feelings and i just want to get away. someone please give me adive.
P.S. Not sure if i put this in the right catergory.

It is definitely normal and you're not alone. It's a rough time in life so it's normal to have mood swings and depression. Go out with your friends and do something fun when you feel down. Find something you love doing that will cheer you up. Try keeping a journal to get your feelings out. Online journals are great because they're not too "girly" or anything and you can even have a little community with your friends. I love my livejournal because I can go in and just write about EVERYthing that's bothering me, and usually just doing that makes me feel alot better! So good luck and don't worry!

Q: Ok. I have a '94 Jeep Cherokee which I love. I hate putting gas in it, but I am a "stuff" person. I like to carry stuff. The damn thing cost me half a down payment this week in brakes and a new air compressorfor the air conditioner.
Which I would not have replaces if the bearing wouldn't have taken out the belt that runs my whole car.

Incidentially, the amount I paid was probably half of the value of the car. It has new front brakes, tires that are only a year old, and a '98 engine that was installed last year. Do I keep patching it together and wait until it really pisses me off enough to scrap it or do I pray like heck I can get $2000 out of it?

I would try to get a new car. It doesn't sound like it's worth it to keep putting more and more work into it. You can probably find another jeep that's a few years newer, or another car that's good for storage but better on gas. You can probably get a good deal on a trade in. Good luck!

Q: i am 14...nd very skinny!...i weigh like 107...nd im like 5ft 2in. tall..nd well i have a lil belly popin out..bkuz i eat ALOT..juss dont gain weight..nd well i have SO MANY stretch marks...is it normal 4 summone as skinny as me?...i have them on my knees...my things..my butt..nd startin 2 get them on my back leg...HELP!

it is normal because you have been growing. you probably had a recent growth spurt or something, and anytime that something like that happens, or you have a big weight gain or weight loss, it causes stretch marks. they will fade soon though.

Q: Ok, this may seem like a pathetic question, but I really don't know what to do.

Well, I started talking to this guy in one of my classes, and he's pretty cool. So I ate lunch with him (because I didn't know anyone else in that lunch). And so I was eating with him and all his friends. Then today, (and a little yesterday...its the second day of school)him, and some of his friends started to hit on me, and try to flirt with me, and wink at me and all that stuff. And it's making me feel really uncomfortable. But, I don't know how to get away from their table now, because I think that they think I'm going to keep sitting with them. I don't want to hurt their feelings, but I also don't like feeling uncomfortable like that. What should I do?? Please help.

try to find someone else to sit with. and if you don't want to hurt their feelings, you could bring your friends to eat with you at their table, so at least you have someone there that you feel comfortable with. if you really don't like they flirting with you, just ignore them when they do it. turn to someone else and start a conversation and just be kind of...standoff-ish to them. they should get the hint and will eventually get tired of not getting a reaction from you. if it still gets worse, tell them to stop...if they're worth being friends with, they'll respect you. good luck and dont worry....its only the second day so things will get better!

Q: My parents wont let me get the 2nd whole pierced in
my ear but I really wanna do it. So i have dicided to do it on my own! Does any1 know how,and what i should use?? Pleaz dont earase this cuz i wanna make sure i pierce them the right way !!I'll rate high..I promise!!

Doing your own piercings is never a good idea. There's a bigger risk of infection and it will hurt more! Plus, your parents will notice that you disobeyed them and got a second hole anyway, so why risk getting into trouble? Just be patient and talk to your parents about why they won't let you get it done. Maybe if you discuss it with them, they will change their minds and see that you're responsible.

Q: Okay here's my problem...I slept with my best friend, but he doesn't remember, and now I might be pregnant. Maybe I should explain...About a month & a half ago, my best friend/roommate and I went to a party and when we got home we kinda started making out (we had both been drinking). When he said he something that he really needed to tell me, and said that he was in love with me. It was so sweet and we ended up sleeping together. The next morning I woke up before him and cooked breakfast for him. But when he woke up, he was really confused, and he said he couldn't remember how he got home, and he really didn't remember anything since the beginning of the party the night before. I was freaking out and I didn't say anything about what happened between us. We later found out that someone had put something in the drinks at the party and a bunch of people couldn't remember stuff. I had decided that I wasn't going to tell him about out night together because it would be to weird. Then I didn't get my period this month, so now I'm really freaking out. I know I need to tell him but I don't know how. Then to make matters worse, I was trying to tell him yesterday, and he said that he wanted to tell me something (I thought he was gonna say he loved me) and he said that he was still a virgin and he was saving himself for the person that he was gonna spend the rest of his life with. I didn't think it was possible to feel any worse. I'm 22 and he's 20.

Can anyone help me please? I don't know what to do...

You do have to tell him. If it was the other way around you would want to know, right? Since he is your best friend, it should be easier to sit down and talk with him. Just explain to him that you had no way of knowing that he was so out of it...tell him about what he said about being in love with you. I'm sure he'll understand that you weren't trying to take advantage of him or anything. He might be upset and angry, but just give him time. Then just in case you are pregnant, you can go from there...but I would find out for sure ASAP. Good luck!

Q:
Okay this may sound a bit weird. . buh im 14 yrs old and i dont have like a real nipple yet.. when im cold or sumthing liek that.. yaah it looks like it but then it goes away.. please help!

im not really sure what you mean by that...but im sure its perfectly normal. everyone's body is different and i'm sure you do have a "real" nipple...it just might be different than what you picture. you're probably still growing and going through changes, so you'll be developing more. if it really concerns you, ask your doctor about it. but if anything was abnormal im sure they would have found out by now.

Q: I'm 20 years old. Female. I've been with my man for about 4 months and I definately feel that I'm head over heels in love with him when it's just the two of us but when I'm around other guys I start thinking about dating other people. How come one minuet I feel like I could marry my love but then another minuet I think about wandering to other guys?

it's normal for you to feel that way because you're still young. you may love your boyfriend, but you still haven't experienced everything that's out there so don't totally tie yourself down into marriage or anything yet! just enjoy yourself and see where your heart leads you.

Q: ok i'm kinda uncomfortable but i've been wondering...is it ok for me to want a vibrator?? cuz i've always wondered if they are more pleasurable and where can I get one? also--i'd prolly be WAAY too embarrassed to go buy one myself...is there anything i could use as a substitute?? (plz don't delete) someone plz answer, i rate high!

yes it is definitely ok for you to want one. most girls i know do, and its well worth it. you can order some off the internet, but the best place to get them is at adult shops. you usually have to be 18 to go in there though. but dont be embarassed because the people that work there have seen it ALL.
as for a substitute, maybe you could buy a mini massager or something. that might be easier for you to buy. hope i helped!

Q: I really need help... I started dating an ex of mine thursday night.. Well today we started fighting. My cousin told me that he was just using me for sex. and I guess I kinda believed it. but I've been acting kinda shady towards him and he asked why. So i kinda mentioned it to him. and now hes really pissed off.. he hates my cousin.. he doesnt want me around him when I'm with her. and I'm almost always with her. but then hes like I'm going to bed.. I was like dont be mad at me. and he got off.. didnt even tell me he loved me. I'm afraid I really ruined things with him. and I love him more then anything in the world. I dont/cant lose him.. HELP! I'm crying here.. I dont know what to do!!

I think you definitely need to talk to him and explain everything. tell him that even though he may not like her, you trust your cousin. explain that what she said really hit a nerve with you and maybe by her suggesting it you started to see something that wasnt there. or it at least put some doubt in your head. he should have given you a chance to explain and tried to reassure you that it wasnt true. so i guess all you really can do is talk to him and try to work things out.

Q: ok theres this guy that i met online ad we talked and stuff and i sorta like him and he likes me and we talk on the phone everynight now he wants to meet me do u think i should meet him

probably not. but if you really really want to then bring friends. i made the mistake of meeting someone once by myself and he tried to pressure me to do things i didnt want to.

Q: my best friend and my best guy friend are going out now which i dont mind but they leave me out of everything we used to do everything toghter but now they are always by themselves or when they invite me i always feel like a 3rd wheel what can i do?

i was once in the same situation and it does totally suck. definitely try to bring in a 4th friend. we used to ignore the 2 whenever they started getting all annoyingly lovey dovey and stuff. they eventually got the hint that when they're with us it's time to hang out. save the mushy stuff for when they're alone. if all else fails, talk to them about it! they might not even realize that you feel left out.

Q: does age matter cause im 13 almost 14 n i like a 17 year old n a 18 year old n my friend is bout ready to get me n the 18 year old out..plz help me

when you get older, age doesnt really matter. but i think at your age the difference between 14 and 18 is too much. an 18 year old is a legal adult and will be into alot of differnt things than you. it is also considered statutory rape if you were to have sex, even if you were consenting. plus your parents may not approve of you dating an 18 year old. try to find some guys in your class, i'm sure there are plenty!

Q: Ok if u have sex in a pool or like in the shower pretty much in water and u dont wear a condom can n e thign happen like when the guy busts?!?!?!?!
plz answer and DONT delete!!!!!!

NEED TO KNO!!!!!

water does nothing to prevent pregnancy or stds. you still run the same risks as having sex without a condom on dry land.

Q: I have a horrible problem with my face getting red anytime i read in front of the class or do a speach. TOmorrow, i have to give a speach in english & I was wondering, if anyone had any ideas to yhelp me stop that... i odnt want stuff like " just be confident".. things like, is there anything you can take or if makeup or things like that would work. pleeease answer.. anyone who answer, i`ll give a 5

The same thing happens to me...even if I do feel confident. I don't think there's anything you can really do to stop it. But if you watch others, I bet they have the same problem...or maybe something else like shaking or stuttering or something. If your teacher doesn't mind you looking at the paper, then just focus on that and don't look at the other people in the room. I've also found that it helps to talk to your classmates about it. You'll probably find that everyone is very nervous and wishes they didn't have to do it. Just knowing that everyone is afraid won't make you feel as bad. And they're probably too busy worrying about their own speech to pay much attention to how red you get. Just go early, get it overwith, and sit back and watch everyone else do there's.

Q: ok! last night my friend had a sleepover nd' there were guys and we all slept in the tent outside and i we were all like smushed together with not alot of room and this one really cute guy was layin next to me and when i went inside with *c* whos sleepover it was to change...everyone that was outside told that guy i was layin next to to do stuff with me like they even told him step by step n shit. and i didnt know that till later and then all of a suden he was up my shirt and we were layin closer and huggin and stuff. i didnt do nething with/to him tho. I really do like him but im 14 and hes 16 gunna be 17 in 6 months so idk if thats ok and should i be mad at my friends for setting that all up or not?

I can't tell you whether you should be mad or not...but I know I would be. things like that should never be forced on you by friends or by the guy. just tell your friends that you'd rather they didn't interfere like that next time. and if this guy is worth it then he will respect you enough to take things at a pace that you're ready for.