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Inappropriate boyfriend trouble
A boy I met on a bus asked me out the day after we met. A few days later he asked me to marry him. He was saying some very inappropriate things to me (about his penis’ size). He then proceeded to break up with me saying, “I need to be with someone near me so that I can walk down the hall holding hands.” You see he lives in Vermont and I live in Massachusetts. About a month later, today, he asked me out again. He also asked me to tell my parents even though he knows that they are against me dating yet although I am 17 and in my junior year at high school. I don’t know what to do. I am so confused please help me.
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I am trying to read through the lines here; you say that his talk is inappropriate yet you are still confused about him so I am guessing that in addition to the inappropriate talk there must be other things that you two talk about that aren't inappropriate.
First of all let me say that boys of all ages from 9 to 90 will on occasion talk about things of this nature. Of course it is mostly when they are drunk once they get older but when they are young it is the "seeking approval" of their size that they are looking for. Unfortunately many never grow out of that. With all the books and talk shows they still haven't figured out what a girl wants and needs and that for the most part it has not a thing to do with the size of their penis but more the size of their inner manhood. So, where this is immature this is not uncommon.
However, what concerns me about this guy (and again an indication of immaturity) is that he meets you one day and is asking you to marry him a few days later, then breaks up with you saying that he needs to be nearer to someone so that he can have the physical aspect more often then calls you up wanting to get back. Nine chances out of ten he will do this again. He doesn't know what he wants and this is not love.
Shake the dust off your shoes and move on. Talk to your parents about dating in general and tell them about this guy. Tell them that you are smart enough to recognize a frog from a prince and you took care of it. Use this experience as a topic starter with your parents to let them know that you are responsible and let them know exactly the things that he was saying and how that turned you off about him.
They are just scared to let you go. WHen you show them that you are responsible enough to get rid of the duds and not give into their little propositions and that you have more respect for yourself then that I would imagine (unless they are fanatical) they will let you start dating in moderation.
Hope that helped and let me know how things go...:)
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The very fact that you titled this question 'inappropriate boyfriend' shows that you already know what the problem is. You need to honestly look into your heart and head and see whether you like him or not.
If he dumped you once for living far away, he'll dump you again. He might really, really like you, but that doesn't change the fact that long distance relationships don't seem to work for him.
As far as your parents, well, that's probably something that you should work out BEFORE a boyfriend appears on the scene. You need to have a serious, mature talk with your parents - letting them know that though it may be difficult for them to accept, you are growing up. What will they do when you go away to college? They can't control you then.
It's in everyone's best interests for you all to sort out something everyone is comfortable with - for example, you're allowed to date as long as you are always home on time. Let your parents know that you want their input and advice, but only if they can be supportive and offer you ways to HELP you grow up, not stop you.
Good luck with them - and with sorting out whether you want to date this guy or not. It's important to only date people you REALLY want to date; dating someone just because they asked is a recipe for a crappy relationship.
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This boy sound very immature. I would just stay away from him as much as possible. If he's trying to get you do things (telling your parents about you) then he doesn't repect you at all.
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He sounds a little weird. Think about it, he asks you out without even knowing you? The only reason that i see why he wants to go out with you is that he wants people to see that he has a 'girlfriend' I say cut all lines of contact with him, he sounds a little freaky to me. Get away from him. If he questions why you don't wanna talk to him, just say that its your parents fault or that you found someone in your school.
Hope I help!
Drop one in my inbox if ya need anything else
*Leah
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If you feel pressured to do something that u dont want to do dont let one boy change that. Be yourself and if it is against your mother's wishes you shouldn't be goin out in the first place. There is a million boys out there for you to look for that you will like a lot better.And that will make you feel very comfortable and safe. Dont settle down until you kno that you are ready to have a life of your own. Hope that I helped and if you need any more advice ask me whenever you want to.
-CJ
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yeah i agree with banannamahannah.....u no something funny..shes my sister no joke ne ways follow her advice
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I really dont know if this is the guy for you... it doesnt seem like youve known him for very long, and hes already asked you to marry him. He also said some things that made you uncomfortable. I think that you should wait it out and see. If you werent comfortable with the things he did a year ago... i would make sure you are now.. before doing anything about it
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