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Getting along.. When your just so darn different
Me and my Boyfriend (are in our early 20's) have been together for 2 years now. We are complete opposites. (in everyway) But I cant be more the 50 miles from my mother and he wants to move back to Philly. (I live in Nevada) We love eachother but I am lost as to what to do. I will not be happy so far from family and he isnt happy here. We just want to be happy! What do I do?
The girl with the short embilicalcord!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Many couples are exact opposites and they have a wonderful life together. Ask yourself this, are you ready to marry him? If that answer is no then you have your answer. If you answer yes then you need to talk to him if he feels the same and is ready to marry you then marry him and move with him to Philly and stay in touch with your family. If he isn't ready then your answer is simple. Family is wonderful and should be cherished but love doesn't come around every day. If you and he are ready to get married and that love is storng enough to say forever and mean it then you need to marry him and follow him and leave your family to be with your husband to make a new life and family together. Your family will always be there for you and you can write, make phone calls and visits to stay close. If the love between you isn't storng enough to marry before you move then break up and stay friends. Best of luck... :)
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ok if u have nothing in commen why go out with him. if he wants you to move back to Philedalphia with him why go(1) u have nothing in commen.(2) why move somewhere where u don't want to go. listen if u love him that much just discuss to him how u feel and try and move somewhere near philly but not in kinda like the border of it.
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In all honesty, this has been the poison pill in many relationships... I've seen people try to make it work, but when neither side yields anything, you are doomed. I've seen break-ups, divorce, etc... all based on the exact situation you just listed.
Either you need to find a way to let go and move away, he needs to let go of Philly, or you both need to compromise and live in the middle somewhere - or you end it now, because neither of you will be happy until that happens.
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Okay. First, you are complete opposites. Regardless of what the cute phrases about opposites may say, they aren't going to help you out in the longterm. You need to be with someone who is compatible - someone who wants to live where you want to live, someone who has the same goals in life as you, etc. Of course, this requires a bit of compromise.
If this guy was The One, I think you'd be more willing to move t be with him. At some point, you will build your own family, and your adult role in that will be more central to your life than your child role in relation to your mother.
So, what do I think you should do? Realistically evaluate your relationship. Is it GENUINELY worth investing more time in it? Are one or both or you willing to compromise about a living situation?
Do some hard thinking on your own - figure out where your priorities and boundaries are - and then speak with your boyfriend.
Good luck.
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Heh, short embilicalcord. Anyway, here's what I think. I don't think staying in the same state will make him happy if he wants to move back to Philly. That's pretty far away if you ask me. Is there any reason why you have to be within 50 miles of your mother? If not then the problem here is the two of you are still trying to cling to the past. I'm sure now you know this clinging can cause problems in your life. I'm not saying it's unreasonable to want to stay close to your mother (I do too), but sooner or later your going to have to accept the fact that your on your both on your own and no longer living for each other.
If the both of you can't accept this, then you're going to have to end the relationship. And to tell you the truth, it might be good for you. If you both refuse to move to each other's state, then maybe you need to separate. Damn it, I rhymed, didn't I?
I think you should talk to each other and weigh this out. Discuss why you want what you want, and never forget to try to see the situation as the other sees it. Then make a decision as to what to do about moving. Is it more important to stay in this relationship and move away from your mother, or to stay near your mother? Sorry if this "talk about it" advice isn't satisfactory, but can you really think of any other way out of it?
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Move somewhere near by, move away from where you are but stay in the state so that he's satiesfied and you're satisfied
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