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Ex set up a website about 9 yr old daughter how do we take it down permanen
Hi I'm from the UK.
I have a 9 year old daughter who is very distressed and upset and i'm hoping you can help me help her!!
I moved away from her dad in 1999 (before she was born) due to domestic violence and gained an interdict to stop him coming near us. Since we weren't safe in the area we lived in after my split with him i moved to Edinburgh in 2002 and have been safe and living life normally ever since, that is until May last year when he managed to locate us.
Within a week we had to be placed in a Womans Aid refuge for our safety and he believes we live down in London now.
Ever since though he set up websites in search of us using videos and information from my daughters health problems to try and locate us. Now the first two websites we managed to get taken down as it pertained to a minors safety but the 3rd (which my daughter stumbled on last night) has only been up for a couple of days.
I've spoken to the police who confirmed this is a source of harassment yet won't do anything about it as its online. My solicitor reakons since he doesnt know where our new address is we should simply ignore it but its easier said than done!!
He is definately abusing my daughters right to safety and privacy. He has invaded both me and my daughters privacy by making this site and has caused us great annoyance and anxiety. The very fact he used her name as his web address shows he is abusing her right to privacy. If it was more about him it should have been called JohnMackie.co.uk not [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
My daughter deserves the right to live life normally and safely - she does NOT deserve her privacy violated in such a manner and certainly not be hounded by him. Please for the safety of my daughter help me get him stopped for good!!
I need help! This is affecting my daughter greatly!! She has only JUST started relaxing after the last spate of websites and now shes back to sitting in her room crying - She doesn't understand why someone would ignore her requests to take it down and leave her alone as she wants nothing to do with him at the moment.
In light of this i would appreciate it if you could help!!
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this is awful. i'm sorry your daughter is suffering. but i hate to agree with the assholes on here, but some of them do have a point. you're not doing anything different from your husband. even if he is a douchebag, he would still want to know where his little girl is. i can promise he doesnt give a crap about where you are, just the girl. and by putting this question up, you're exploiting her, too.
theres not really anything anyone can tell you to do that you havent already tried. what i would do is report the site for abuse (if possible) and if not, just ignore it. i went to the site. it looks innocent enough. you're only adding to your daughters stress by making such a big deal about websites like that. how your 9 year old managed to "stumble across" a website about her is beyond me, but maybe you should limit her internet activity, A. and B, stop worrying. you're not helping anything. just making her more paranoid. tell her all the sites are gone and that everythings fine. she'll feel better, and so will you. its as simple as that.
take care.
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Why don't you both just do the ADULT thing and hire lawyers to defend your rights and the rights of this poor kid?
I'd probably be crying in my room, too, if my parents publicly behaved the way both of you are.
Both of you need a kick in the ass.
A hard one.
I feel sorry for neither one of you, but I feel so sorry for this child who deserves so much better than this.
Yep.
I'm a bitch.
31/f
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mam i understand how you could be afraid if the reason you left him is because of his voilence but i think she should be able to know her father if she wants too. and if she doesnt then let her talk to him and tell him herself that she wants nothing to do with him.. and if your in hiding then why did you post this? he can easily pay a hacker and find out where the computer is that sent this message. and also anyone who doesnt agree with anything you just said can easily go to his site and send him everything you wrote on your message.. please be safe..
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Did you even read this page? [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
The answer is pretty simple.
He's saying that all you have to do, is get your DAUGHTER and NOT YOU to say that she either does or does not want to talk to him. He knows that you are making all of her decisions and I agree that you should let her make her own decisions. You've probably already brainwashed her to believe that her father is horrible and that she shouldn't talk to him, but she will resent you for that later on. Plus, he keeps saying "speak to your mum" so at least he's being mature about it. He's not trying to get her to go behind your back or anything. And it's not like he's trying to even get her to stay with him. Just a simple phone call. How could that hurt?
"Ok Shannon, you've found the page, now what do you do next...
If you want to get in touch with me and know who I am:
There are a few things that you can do. The first thing I would say is TALK TO YOUR MUM. Hopefully that will be enough and your mum can get in contact with me. If your mum decides that she won't do that for you then you will have to talk to someone else, a teacher, a social worker, your gran, your aunty. Hopefully they will listen and get in touch or speak to your mum.
If you don't want to get in touch with me:
It's almost the same answer. Talk to anyone listed above. I in no way intend to harrass you or hound you as it's been made out but I need to hear it from someone official if you don't want contact. Just now I have no way of knowing that and it may be that your mum is keeping all this from you. If your decision is that you don't want contact then someone official can get in touch with me and I'll take this site down.
Either way I know it's a very hard decision and it's a decision that you need to make when you feel ready. The most important thing in it all is that you SPEAK TO YOUR MUM."
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Wow. While there's no way to know what actually went on, from his perspective it appears to me that all he did was cheat on you and smoke some weed with his friends and because of this he doesn't ever get to be with his daughter. If that is the case then not only do I hope he finds her but that he takes her away from you. I have to wonder who is the bad parent here, especially with you putting your daughter with her health issues on TV so you can be on camera. Did you even let your daughter read the websites? Maybe he just wants to get to know her after all. So he made mistakes. Clearly you did as well, not using protection. People do change and he deserves a relationship with her. Stop blaming the internet for destroying your privacy.
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Similar situation with my wife had happened. Her biological father who is a pedophile and a child rapist has made several attempts to find her by making websites. Each time we appealed to the web hosting companies where the sites were being hosted at and pretty much told them what happened and to please remove the site or face legal action. Well, so far it's worked! You can do a "who is" on the domain and get the contact information on who to contact. Hope this helps!
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Hi there!
I have read through everything available here and felt I needed to respond promptly.
Though I did not go through puberty at a very early age, I did have my abnormal problems with menstruation. At 11 I started my cycle and it was pure torment on my end. I wanted to hide all of the time. I was uncomfortable and scared that my friends would find out. My parents didn't do a very good job on educating me about my body so I ruined countless pairs of jeans while I was AT SCHOOL and was teased by my father during my time of the month. I know how it is to have to deal with such embarrassing subjects, especially when nobody else your age range seems to be going through it the same you are.
This being said, I cannot believe you put your child's name and face on public television! If you were desperately concerned on finding some sort of guidance from others who have gone through it then you should have very well had her face hidden and her (and your) name changed during the television interview. I know you don't quite understand it now but when she does become older and approaches her teen years, any other child who was not taught respect for others will hone in on her and the teasing will not let up for years. Her self esteem will drop. She will feel like hiding too. This can be a really, really bad thing, especially with her hormonal imbalance problems that are already very evident.
The problem is that if YOU don't take responsiblity for this and say, "Shannon, I did a very bad thing by putting you on television the way I did and airing your name along with your personal problems. I am sorry for any ill happenings that will occur later in your life because of this and hope that you will forgive my ignorance..." If YOU don't take responsiblity then Shannon WILL grow up to hate herself, feeling that the teasing that will come and her personal health problems are entirely her fault. Right now you are having her focus that hurt on her father but that will eventually stop working because she will become curious about the man and wonder if you are really telling the truth about him or if you are trying to cover something up. This will turn into some sort of twisted thinking in that SHE was the cause of many problems. Again, this can become really a nasty situation for her.
Next, please just let up off of her biological father. Seriously. The man has made a website that states her name, yes, but read it carefully. What does HE really say about Shannon? He says he wants to meet her and get to know her. He says he wants the chance to support his daughter. He never says a word about her condition. He doesn't broadcast her problems to the world wide web. He didn't post any sort of private photo on the site that he had access to. He simply says, "I would like to get to know you if you would like to get to know me...please give me that chance, Shannon..."
This being said, I have no idea why your beautiful, precious daughter would be humiliated by the website itself. She is probably feeling more humiliated by the video posting he has of--YOU telling HER personal problems to the world. She is probably feeling upset because YOU are telling her that the website is horrible.
The truth is, the website isn't horrible. It's very endearing and you should be ashamed of yourself for denying that sort of man a chance to get to know the daughter you two share. Men like this do not come often. Men who have grown up and have seen the error of their ways. Men who want to take full responsibility of their previous actions. If any adult male should be in Shannon's life, this is the man.
Go in the other room and talk to your daughter like a mother should. Tell her that you are sorry for putting her on television and parading her around with her dreadful problems. Tell her about her father and let her know that the website was NOT intended to be hurtful but was meant to be a way to open the lines of communication if she so desired. Give her the option of communicating with John in a public place together, maybe to have lunch (and, yes, it would be OK to let her know that if the meeting does not go happily then she can choose to never see him again).
Lastly, forgive. Forgive John if he truly was abusive in the past. He was a 22 year old man who had just gotten divorced and was confused about what to do with his two children. He was still a kid, really. Sure, he was a legal adult but when do we REALLY finish maturing? When do we usually see the error in our ways? And even when we DO see them, who actually has enough guts to stand up and admit they were wrong? This man is NOT looking to hurt you or Shannon. Really.
If he really wanted to hurt Shannon then I have no clue why you would put all of that information on public television and allow it to be in the papers. If he really wanted to hurt Shannon and you were afraid of that then why were you so public about her--her face, her name? Stupidity on your part? Then maybe John's previous negative actions are just chalked up to stupidity on his part. If you are able to forgive yourself for your negative actions then you need to give John a chance, too.
Shannon's privacy was violated long before John started creating webpages. We both know that very well, don't we?
It's okay to say you were wrong. I promise. Nobody is going to hate you for approaching John and saying "I was wrong," and telling Shannon that she should meet John at least once.
If you still don't understand John's actions and you STILL feel threatened then you need to sign offline for good and cancel your internet service. This, obviously, isn't helping any. Just go away and hide from the public view with your daughter and try to help her grow into a confident woman. All of this mess is just making matters worse on everyone.
I really, truly hope something I've said here opens your eyes. If you need to ask any more questions, please do feel free to ask me specifically.
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how dare he put this website on the internet!!!no wonder your soo distressed! I mean he did this to himself, he abused you so its not like your going to go back to your enemy and say "oh look we have a child together". I mean you went through so much and so did your son and daughter why would you want that horrible man back.
well i think you should go to court and fight for full custody. i mean if you have an interdict due to domestic violence then that should help in your side to win the courts over.
Either way i think you need the courts involved with custody because hes not going to leave you alone..this is his daughter and like any parent he wants to know his daughter regardless of the way he treated you.
im sorry about all this and sorry if this doesnt help but goodluck and stay safe
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If she is only nine years old, you are very much in control of her media intake.
If you feel there is something or someone online that could damage her or upset her: Don't let her online unsupervised, or limit the sites she is allowed to access.
If you are having a conflict with her father, use the courts to deal with it. Surely there is someone at Womans Aid refuge who can give you more legal advice or send you for a second opinion if you are not happy with your current solicitor.
According to no law I know has anything on his site either invaded her privacy or done anything illegal. He has rights too. And if he hasn't recieved an answer, legally, as to why he is being refused access to his daughter, then he's got a damn good case agianst you and one you need to address legally.
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i now how she feels my parents divorced when i was 10 though. I now how hard it is for a nine year old girl to get use to this. I had to watch my dad and mom fight all the time before they got divorced. Why don't you just take this to court and get this settle for once and all and also put your daughter in consouling also so she can try and get over this. Have someone watch her while your in court. If they want to see her let them see her but than take her to the cousouling to make sure she's alright. I now this will work cause this has happen to me.
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Wow...
Why don't you two stop running and learn to face your problems like adults? For one, MOM you have publicly exsploited your child by airing on television..Which in this case you've pretty much hit the bottom of the barrel not only did you dig yourself a deep hole with this one but you've also caused your child to become an emotional wreck. Great parenting!
Take it to COURT where it belongs, Stop exsploiting your child on the internet which IS again what you just did!
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this is freakin classic! I bet you couldn't be shocked any more if I shoved a cattleprod down your throat and hit you with ten milligrams of epinephrine...... now that would be a helluva time. congratulations kids, you just won the space race for "week's worst people" by a long shot. ta-da! tell us what they won shannon,
"the alienation of their daughter"
thats correct! but wait, theres more! with this comes three hundred pounds of your daughter's emotional baggage ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!!
-gunner
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Wow, lovely story there. Couple of points I'll saise for anyone who's interested.
"Within a week we had to be placed in a Womans Aid refuge for our safety and he believes we live down in London now."
You should never post personal information in a public posting on the internet doll. I know your still in Edinburgh but want this done the correct way. I don't need to come chasing you, never have and never will.
"I've spoken to the police who confirmed this is a source of harassment yet won't do anything about it as its online."
If the police had a problem with it, online, offline or anywhere, they would do something about it.
"My solicitor reakons since he doesnt know where our new address is we should simply ignore it but its easier said than done!!"
Nope, I don't, wish I did, I'd be able to send my lawyers letters there so we could do this correctly.
"I need help! This is affecting my daughter greatly!! She has only JUST started relaxing after the last spate of websites and now shes back to sitting in her room crying"
roflmao, sorry for the laughing there but look it this sensibly. I uploaded the site at 5am, you were told by a friend from Perth who's working both sides of this about it not long after. Your post went up here at 5.30 am. Now just a question here, was Shannon awake at 5am? Why was she awake? How did she manage to stumble across the site at 5am just seconds after I uploaded it?
Or.......... are you managing to show your storytelling skills off ever so nicely by your actions.
Update for everyone, managed to move things along a bit for the better. I've been in touch with Shannon, who's as happy to hear from me as I am to be speaking to her. Were talking on the phone and on MSN with family mediation getting sorted in the background. So nice to be able to start doing my job for here and we'll take baby steps in the right direction from now on, with no need to be posting on any sites. Thanks for all your input into the discussion but for now, goodbye ;-)
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Hello there,
I am not a lawyer by any means, but here is an observation that might be worthy to note:
Sadly, you made your daughter a public figure by airing her private (VERY private) business on a TV show broadcast to every corner of the Earth via sattelite and the internet.
It seems that if this ever went to court, that would be brought up.
I read everything you wrote and everything he wrote on that site and there are so many things that don't add-up. If this goes to court, those things will be made to add up and the truth will come out. I guess all that is left to decide is if it is worth the risk to you to have this all recorded in public documents.
If you were in the USA the paternity question would be a matter of rights. I am astonished that the courts of the UK haven't ordered a paternity test in order to decide the rights of everyone involved.
Seeing as the poor girl's privacy was fairly well destroyed by your parading her around on television to be made fun of by her peers I guess I don't see why an open letter to the girl is really that big of a deal. Perhaps this is why your lawyer suggested to you that ignoring it is the best course of action.
Imagine what it would be like if a father's rights group felt he was being persecuted by you and your family? There is so much more he could be doing to make his story heard. The more you bring attention to it the more likely he will get the backing of someone important who can force this into court. Just a thought.
Please take care.
P.S. Ms. Shannon Cassidy is a lovely young lady and I am sorry you two have complicated her life so. Before you say you had naught to do with any of this, please remember it takes two to make a baby... and I believe it was you who took her on TV wasn't it? Please consider her future and get this into court where it belongs.
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