Member Since: September 5, 2009
Answers: 5
Last Update: September 6, 2009
Visitors: 1030
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OK
So i am getting married in December and as you probably deduced from the title, I have a dilemma.
My Biological father has always been in my life from timt to time. I only saw him occasionally, (like every other weekend) but our relationship has always been a good one. He's never been my provider though...
My STEP DAD has been married to my mother for 16 years, pretty much my entire childhood, and he was the provider and took care of everything I ever needed...the catch? He and I have NEVER had a strong relationship, HOWEVER, he and my mom are divorced now, and since the divorce, he and I have formed somewhat a pretty good relationship, he is still in my life. And helps me when he can.
SO SEE MY PROBLEM? heres a few things I was thinking....let me know what you think.
option 1: They BOTH walk me down the aisle. (i dont really want to do this. It just doesnt appeal to me, but everyone suggests it.
option 2: My dad walks me half-way, step-dad meets in the middle, and walks me the rest of the way, and gives me away at the alter.
now I have thought of another idea, one I really LIKE but I want others opinion on. Its not exactly tradiotional and Im not sure if its ever been done...here it is:
My BEST FRIEND Corey has been with me through everything. What if HE walked me down the aisle, and my dads were both standing at the alter with my Groom, and then when Corey gets me to the alter, he would hand me over to my dads and they would give me away, and Corey would resume his post as the groomsmen. That way they could both give me away and there wouldnt be any drama or hurt feelings??
HOW DOES THAT SOUND?
all opnions and advice would be great. thanks in advance!
21/f (link)
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Why not let one of them walk you down the aisle and the other one give the fathers speech.
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i have an uncle inlaw hes my wifes uncle and im renting him a room the thing is that he never has the money for the rent and im getting tired of it because he buys things for him self but yet he never has the money for the rent the thing is that he doesent have nowhere to go were the only family he has the other thing is that he is epeleptic he has violent zeigers and i have a 5year old daughter to think about i gave him a week to leave but i cant help feeling sorry for the guy what should i do le him keep taking advantage of me because thats the way i feel sometimes? (link)
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You have to be hard here to be nice. It's all fine helping anyone out but they have to show that they want to help themselves at the same time. While your position is made worse because it's family it does not make that statement any less true. Be honest, explain your problem with how you see his cash going. Give him your rules. He'll either take it on board and help himself or he'll face the consequences of doing it HIS WAY. You have nothing to feel bad over.
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so basicly i have an issue.
me and my parents, mostly my mom, have never gotten along. I am a slightly stubborn teenager, and i don't like addmitting i am wrong if im not. My parents are pretty strict and unreasonable with most things. and when i talk to them about it they never understand what i am trying to say and just don't seem to get just how redicules they are being. We fight all the time, and i am pretty good at defending myself, but all it gets me is more fights and trouble. What always happens is we yell at eachother for a while, and ten ignore eachother, and eventually forget about it. but noting is ever acomplished and they never admit they are wrong. Yet they expect to admit when i am wrong, and they yell and me, but expect me not to yell at them. And they just have way too many rules and things i should and shouldn't do that its imposible for me to be perfect. but compared to all my friends, and all kids really, im a pretty good kid, i put up with all of there shit, and they still give me the responsiblities of an adult and the freedom of a two year old. any suggestions on what to do becuase i really cant deal with this anymore? (link)
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Hi there, read your story and would like to tell you your not alone. Your going through what everyone goes through with your parents and it's not gonna get better until you realise that they are right. They maybe do things in a way you hate and do it all to often. But you'll realise some day.... maybe when you have a child of your own.... EVERY SINGLE THING THEY DO THEY DO BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU!!!.... This brings us to the second and most important point, something I really hope you take away with you. You can shout, scream, walk out, do anything you want. You'll never change them because they think they are right in their heads. The only thing you can control is YOUR actions. If you didn't shout back at them would that not make you a wiser person and maybe they would follow your lead. If you followed their rules, just as you'll expect your child to follow yours. Maybe they will see you for the person you really should be. It's a real hard job being a parent and we make mistakes every day at it. Remember that they are not super human either. Take a breath. Chill out with them. Sit down for dinner and speak honestly and calmly to them. I'd wager some cash just now that if you did that, they'd listen.... maybe not as much as you'd like them to listen but they'd listen all the same.
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Hi there,
I would really like to know why it is that this isn't in court as we speak?
Her story is so ridiculously full of holes that no thinking person would believe a word she said, so why hasn't this been taken off-line and into a real world coutroom?
I regret your situation and hope someday that you gain full custody of the child before her completely insane mother destroys her life any more than she already has.
(link)
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Wow, todays been a rollercoaster of a day. Her mum got in contact again and gave me Shannons msn and mobile. Been talking to her for a few hours tonight. Such an intelligent little girl. Still got a long long way to go but I think a lot of the answers on this site helped to point out what I felt was pretty obvious. Still have a few things I need to really sort out. Have raised the point of a DNA test just now as being really important and it was received well. Hopefully we'll both be able to move forward now and do the right thing. Thanks so much for your help..... I'll hopefully be updating the shannon website soon with such better content. :-D
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Hi I'm from the UK.
I have a 9 year old daughter who is very distressed and upset and i'm hoping you can help me help her!!
I moved away from her dad in 1999 (before she was born) due to domestic violence and gained an interdict to stop him coming near us. Since we weren't safe in the area we lived in after my split with him i moved to Edinburgh in 2002 and have been safe and living life normally ever since, that is until May last year when he managed to locate us.
Within a week we had to be placed in a Womans Aid refuge for our safety and he believes we live down in London now.
Ever since though he set up websites in search of us using videos and information from my daughters health problems to try and locate us. Now the first two websites we managed to get taken down as it pertained to a minors safety but the 3rd (which my daughter stumbled on last night) has only been up for a couple of days.
I've spoken to the police who confirmed this is a source of harassment yet won't do anything about it as its online. My solicitor reakons since he doesnt know where our new address is we should simply ignore it but its easier said than done!!
He is definately abusing my daughters right to safety and privacy. He has invaded both me and my daughters privacy by making this site and has caused us great annoyance and anxiety. The very fact he used her name as his web address shows he is abusing her right to privacy. If it was more about him it should have been called JohnMackie.co.uk not http://www.Shannoncassidy.co.uk
My daughter deserves the right to live life normally and safely - she does NOT deserve her privacy violated in such a manner and certainly not be hounded by him. Please for the safety of my daughter help me get him stopped for good!!
I need help! This is affecting my daughter greatly!! She has only JUST started relaxing after the last spate of websites and now shes back to sitting in her room crying - She doesn't understand why someone would ignore her requests to take it down and leave her alone as she wants nothing to do with him at the moment.
In light of this i would appreciate it if you could help!! (link)
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Wow, lovely story there. Couple of points I'll saise for anyone who's interested.
"Within a week we had to be placed in a Womans Aid refuge for our safety and he believes we live down in London now."
You should never post personal information in a public posting on the internet doll. I know your still in Edinburgh but want this done the correct way. I don't need to come chasing you, never have and never will.
"I've spoken to the police who confirmed this is a source of harassment yet won't do anything about it as its online."
If the police had a problem with it, online, offline or anywhere, they would do something about it.
"My solicitor reakons since he doesnt know where our new address is we should simply ignore it but its easier said than done!!"
Nope, I don't, wish I did, I'd be able to send my lawyers letters there so we could do this correctly.
"I need help! This is affecting my daughter greatly!! She has only JUST started relaxing after the last spate of websites and now shes back to sitting in her room crying"
roflmao, sorry for the laughing there but look it this sensibly. I uploaded the site at 5am, you were told by a friend from Perth who's working both sides of this about it not long after. Your post went up here at 5.30 am. Now just a question here, was Shannon awake at 5am? Why was she awake? How did she manage to stumble across the site at 5am just seconds after I uploaded it?
Or.......... are you managing to show your storytelling skills off ever so nicely by your actions.
Update for everyone, managed to move things along a bit for the better. I've been in touch with Shannon, who's as happy to hear from me as I am to be speaking to her. Were talking on the phone and on MSN with family mediation getting sorted in the background. So nice to be able to start doing my job for here and we'll take baby steps in the right direction from now on, with no need to be posting on any sites. Thanks for all your input into the discussion but for now, goodbye ;-)
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