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PREGNANT....DAD THREATEND TO ABORT??
okay so im 15....
and
pregnant! i just found out...
yes i know i am very young to be pregnant.
i will be 16 in 2 months.
so please dont write about how im too young and blah blah blah...i already know....dont need to hear it more. thank you.
anyways....today i was on the laptop and my dad was next to me and i was looking at abortion pictures and saying how horrible it was. and my dad was like so if you got pregnant you would keep it? and i said YES I COULD NEVER KILL A BABY! and then we had this whole argument on how its not a baby at a certain amount of weeks and whatever...so i showed him an article on how they get nerves at 4 weeks so they do feel it and he was like I DONT CARE ID DRAG YOU DOWN TO THE CLINC AND MAKE YOU GET ONE! i just kept saying you cant make me..
REMEMBER....HE DOES NOT KNOW IM PREGNANT!
also when he found out my mom was pregnant with my little brother he yelled and screamed at her and dropped her off at the clinc..she sat there for HOURS crying...finally went in but they said she was too far along to get one...thank god.
so my dad is capable of having the heart to leave me at a clinc.
how do i tell him im pregnant without going through that? im keeping the baby, im still with the father and he is staying with me so i have help.
when i tell my dad should i immediately tell him abortion is out of the question?
can he really force me into an abortion? thats my right though isnt it? its not like since im under 18 he could make it get it by law right?
either way i need to tell him soon because i want this baby to be healthy so regular checkups to the OBGYN and getting put on healthy stuff is needed asap.
i live in florida if that helps?
thank you.
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umm im only 16 but i know a lot since i was practically with my mom each and evry minute when she was pregnant with my little bro when i was 11. yes, you're right about the abortion and that its very wrong. it used to be illegal a long time ago in europe.....
anyway, well you should tell your parents asap cuz this has a lot to do with them. but just dont say nething yet about the abortion unless it is brought up. then you can make your opinion clear. if you dad forces you, put your feet down only if you mom is on your side. if both your parents want abortion, then....... you kno wats gonna happen. but good luck!! :P
lori 16/f
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I'm fifteen years old & five months pregnant with my first child.
Once you see that first ultrasound, You'll know you could never ever
hurt that innocent baby on the screen, Thats how I felt anyways.
Pregnancy is defiantly not a beautiful thing since I'm half way through
it, I'm looking forward to not being pregnant anymore.
Having an abortion would be very immature & cruel.
Your dad can not make you get an abortion, It is your body &
you made this child. I'm glad you have not considered abortion
Because most women who do get them, regret them horribly
later on in life.
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I was in your same shoes. I was fifteen when I got pregnant and my dad wanted me to get an abortion. I was so scared of him that I almost did. But when I saw my little girl on that ultrasound, I decided to stand up for myself. I told my dad I was keeping my baby. And you know what? He got pissed so bad, but now he loves her to death. If you want that baby, you keep that baby, its your right as a woman. And if someone tells you you arent gonna make it as a mom, you tell them that you are going to do everything in your will for your kid and that you will make it.
Don't let people bring you down.
They're just jealous that when your kid is 16 you'll only be 30.
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No, he can not force you to get an abortion. He may try to force you to have one with emotional threats and pressure but he can't force you to have one. Your Dr can't even tell him you're pregnant if you don't want him to tell.
It doesn't sound like the safest environment for you or the baby to be in at this time, is there somewhere you can go if he kicks you out? Where's your mom?
I was pregnant at 15 and had my daughter at 16. She is almost 17 now and we had hard times but we made it and she is a great kid. Young parents have it hard but if you make it a priority to do the best you can and then do better you will make it. Stay in school and go to college whether the father stays with you or not. Learn to be self sufficient for you and your child so that you don't fall into the traps a lot of young mothers do and become dependent on someone else to take care of the two of you.
As for dealing with your dad, you have a couple of options. You can do what I did and have the school counselor tell your parents. You can talk with your boyfriend's parents and gather their advice before you talk with your dad or you can just tell him yourself and wait for the reaction. Either way go to planned parenthood and get a check up until you can get to a regular OB/GYN.
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NO i dont think you should get an abortion. a baby is a gift from god a blessing you were blessed. now im giving you this advice.
tell your dad. i dont think you have to get an abortion if you dont want one. i do know you have to have an adult in the room when you get one becuase you are under age.
dont listen to these people who say your to young....yes you are but i think you were women enough to lay down and have sex and get pregnat you women enough to take care of what will come out.
you should know though babies are expensive and a lot of work. now if you are willing to be the best mother you can be at such a young age and he is willing to be a father at such a young age then you do it sweetie.
i know you say your daddy will me mad but he have to understand god work in this kind of way for a reason and he should know this. if you get that abortion you could regret that for the rest of your life knowing you killed your first born child not giving ii life that can hurt someone for a long time.
i just want you to think though do you want to bring this baby in to the world and give it a life full of pain but teach it lifes leasons or kill every chance it can have?
you dont always have to have an abortion you can make your baby happy just by giving life and just give it up for adoption that way you wont feel bad about killing it.
i hope i helped think about it that murder even though it is not living yet!!!!!!!!
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I know this is not what you want to hear, but abort it.
One of the most vital things to a child is more than one parent who can set an example for it.
That is, a child needs parents whom it can look up to, who have been around long enough to answer its questions. At the same time, a child needs to grow up with parents who set an example by supporting themselves and it. Kids need to see their parents being productive members of society so that when they try to figure out how to do something they havent encountered before, they can think back on their parents example.
You are 15, and I'm sure your boyfriend isnt much older. If you keep this kid, the child will have a crappier life than you could provide a child further down the road. Your life will be hell.
The responsible thing to do is abort, for all involved. Because don't forget, by keeping it you force the burden on your entire family. Everyone suffers because you are unwilling to face up to a mistake you've made.
And I'm sorry, religious or not, an unborn child is not an individual with rights. They aren't an individual at all. Your article about nerves is pointless, because a child that young is not concious of anything. They have no memory, no awareness, nothing. They are just a bundle of flesh and instincts. A misshapen ball of cells vs your and your families lives being torn apart.
Beyond that, I can't advise you. As stated below, if you follow any advice and something happens, we would be responsible. But my two cents are agreeing with your father. Because he is old enough to understand that pain and regret can fade, and you at 15 havent lived long enough to really have that point hammer home yet.
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Hey there sweetie I know its hard right now. You have got to talk to someone in your family, I would go to your mom first you dad does not sound like the kind of person I would want to tell right off the bat. Maybe once you tell your mom if you are really close to her and trust her then maybe she can sit down with you and yall can tell him together. If you are not close enough for that maybe you should consider telling him with the baby's dad's parents they might be willing to help you. You need to put it out there that you are refusing to have an abortion that you want to keep it. Im sorry but teenagers can raise kids on their own sure its rough on them and sure it makes you grow up faster but those kids are still yours and they will still love you. Every parent makes mistakes we all know that but you can grown and learn with your baby. The father may stay around.... he may not he may be there for a while then not want to be with you then go and still see the baby. Then also he may leave you never know..... but chances are if hes here for you now he will be for you later too because right now and up till you have the baby will be the hardest part to get through because once you have your child then people get to hold it and see how adorable it is. I have a story for you I want you to read I would type it up for you on here but I am short on time I have to get to work but there is a short version of it on my column page.... its in where it talks about me under the picture. read it for me please... then if you wanna talk come talk feel free!!! Good luck! Sarah
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Talk to your mom. Your dad sounds a little cold to me, maybe your mom wouldn't be so bad.
No one can make you abort your baby but you. Even though you really shouldn't be having unprotected sex at such a young age- too late now. You really would do better to abort while you can, though. In the long run, it'd be so much better for everyone, including the baby. A child deserves two stable adult parents, you're still a kid. Not to mention the fact that even if the father's there now, doesn't mean he always will be.
People get spooked easily.
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I'm sorry, but I can't help but step in on this one. First, I want to say something personal. I haven't been here long, (this web site), but for reasons of my own, I'm stopping answering general questions. I will still stop in here once a day and answer personal questions.
I tried to post this to the general questions forum, but obviously they are not going to post it, it has been almost 12 hours since I wrote the post.
As to you my young spirit, how can I possibly express how I feel for you? I have no poem, nor words that could possibly fit this situation. I want to say it's sorrow, but I know that to be wrong. I want to say that my heart goes out to you, but it too can not explain what my spirit feels for you. I want to embrace you, not just hug you, I want to tell you that everything will be okay, but I know it won't. I want to care for you, but I know I can't. If I could but shelter you and take this pain away from you. If I could make your father see what is right.
But in truth, I fear for you. I fear that this will crush your spirit. That something so wonderful will tear your world apart, instead of be one of the brightest spots in your life. I fear that you will be hurt from this and by a spirit who pretends to be your father.
He can NOT make you abort this child, he has no legal right to, trust me on this and put your mind at ease on the subject. There are many things that can make you spontaneously abort however, stress, physical abuse and if your father knows this, which I would bet he does, I am unsure he wouldn't use this knowedge.
I know these kind of people, those who feel they own others and in particular, their children. This makes it hard for me to advise you on this. If I tell you to tell him and he beats you to the point you lose this baby, I am responsible for you losing your child, the same goes to telling your mother. If you leave, you are a run away, and that does neither your child or you any good.
The only thing I can tell you is seek help from someone that can protect you, not people from miles away from you. There must be a hot line or something you can call and find help. Protect yourself and your child at all costs.
I send my love to you and my best thoughts follow with it dear one,
Rick Gilbertson, AKA Gilbert Mar
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Wow, this is a really difficult situation. I'm really sorry to see that you need to go through this.
First, like the others said, talk to your Mom. Don't be too afraid that she'll be angry, because that dosen't really matter at this point. She'll be able to understand and help you. Let her know how set you are on keeping this, and that you think it's wrong to get rid of the baby. Plead for her help, she's your parent, too.
After you talk to your Mom, I'd reccomend to have HER talk to your Dad before you. Possibly try to get a counsilor and you could all talk it through there--that way, no one can get TOO hot headed, and you'll have an outside person to be able to help ya'll out. (Really, it seems like a hassle, but try this--it'll be worth it).
In the mean time, let your Dad know most of the reasons abortions are wrong. Really, you never know who could be born, and I'm sure you're trying to make him understand that the baby should have the right to life. Also, let him know that uncommon to popular belief, someone of your age CAN take care of a baby. No, it's not easy at all, but it's possible. Many of my friends had very young mothers, and their, as well as their children's lives are going very well. Another example is a girl in my Italian class who had her daughter her Freshman year. She's literally one of the smartest people I know. Basically, a baby DOES make things more difficult, but if you let your parents know you'll still be the best person possible, everything will be fine.
Also, I'm nearly certain that he can't force you to do this. Even if your Mother agrees with his choice to 'drop you off at a Clinic', you don't HAVE to do anything. Let your parents know what people who go through with abortions actually go through--depression is usually a pretty common thing, along with regret. No one can force you to go through that, it's your choice. In fact, if he drops you off, you could always go inside and talk to the professionals there about what your options are, I'm sure they'll want to help you out as much as possible.
Things will be difficult, but you'll get through them! Email me if you need anything.
XOXO
KAT.
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Omg, i feel so sorry for you! Poor thing! Well, what i would do is tell him your pregnant so you don't het in trouble for keeping it from him. And when you do tell him, tell him abortion IS out of the question, it's your baby and you aren't going to kill it. It's your choice so you have to have bravery. Im really sorry about what your going through. Hope this helps.
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First off, have you told your mom? I'd go to her before saying anything to him.
Second, set an appointment to talk to your county attorney for advice on this. They can answer your questions, and it costs you nothing to seek their legal advice. Your mom knows where you're coming from on this, so see if she'll help you do this.
When you do tell him, YES, you tell him abortion is not an option. You don't want one, you shouldn't have to have one. If he drops you at the clinic, you know you don't have to go in at all.
ygs-30/f
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have you told your mother?
shed understand because shes been through it and knows the feeling of what its like to lose a baby, even though she didnt in the end.
im not sure if by law or anything, but i dont think he can make you. it is the mothers decision i think.
if you havent told your mom tell her first and talk to her baout how you'd tell your dad. if anything, she can help argue your point.
tell him its your decision and you think its wrong to kill a baby, and tell him you'd be depressed afterwards, which will happen, what father would want that for their daughter?!?
best of luck! write me if you need anything.
xxx
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