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July 6, 2008

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I'm Brittany. I'm 17 and I'm a momma. I found about advicenators from a friend. She told me to join because all of my friends come to me for advice. I'm a good listener and if you need advice thats what I am here for!
Because everyone needs advice sometimes!

If not, then well you're not human.

advice

I am a 17 year old young woman, who has a steady and loving, (but not yet sexual) relationship with my boyfriend of 18. We have been going out for a very long time now, and I know how silly it sounds but I really do think I love him.

My parents on the other hand do not. They don't even know I have feelings for him. The thing is, we were together for a bit and then I moved away, and we decided to cut it off. During this time I had a few non-serious relationships.

Three years later we moved back, and to my horror he and his ex girlfriend were having a baby. I decided to talk to him because a close friend told me that he hadn't been talking to anyone since they found out. To be honest it was heart wrenching to watch, five minutes into the conversation he broke out crying (Somthing I have never seen him do) about how scared he was, and how much he regreted it.

A few months later, we got back together secretly, because my parents would compleatly flip out if they knew.

Anyway, to get to the question, the big independent 18 is coming up, and I am starting to panic. For years my best friend and I have talked about moving out together, and now it's starting to become a posability. My question is, should I move out? Or stay, and date him in secret, that way I would be able to go to college and live at home, but on the other hand... If they were to ever find out... they'd kill me.

Moving out is a big step. I'm always thinking about it, but you have to really sit down and think about it. And as for the boy, tell your parents. Any relationship you have that you can't tell your parents, isn't a good one. Ask them to get to know him. For you. They'll most likely do it. Second, not to be mean, but you THINK you love him? When you love someone, think isn't in your vocabulary. You love them. You can feel this powerful force of compassion and caring. It's like you never thought you could feel something that powerful, that beautiful.
Hope I helped!

hi...Everytime i take a shower my hair gets all poofy and yuk! I am definitely not going to stop taking shower so what should i do? my hair is naturally straight but straightening it would help the poofiness....i just dont have time to sit and straighten my hair in the morning or before i go to bed. do u have any suggestions?

Thats actually good you don't want to sit down and straighten your hair all the time, because if you told your hairstylist you do, they'd flip out. It's actually really bad for your hair. Especially if you're a blonde, it rips it right out. Frys the crap out of it. I kind of have the same thing as you, your hair is fine dry but once you get out of the shower its horrible. I usually blow dry it a little, NOT a lot or it will poof more. Just enough so its damp and then I put straigtening cream in it. Just a little though because a lot will grease up your hair and you don't want that. Also, Sunsilk shampoo and conditioner works really good, the Hydra TLC works to keep down the poof.

my boyfriend and i had sex, and the condom broke.
im on birth control, but i want to take a pregnancy test just to be sure. im due to have my period in about 2 weeks....when do i take the test?

If you miss your period, take one 2 weeks after. If you take one only one week after, it might not even show up that you are pregnant. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I took a test 1 week after I missed my period, and it said negative, so I waited another week and half bc i still didn't start, and i was pregnant. the doctor said that the hormone that is suppose to show that you are pregnant, rarely shows up when you are first pregnant because you have such a low level of it.

For the past year, I have been having really bad mood swings. I am a girl, but I don't think that they have anything to do with my mentrual cycle. Once or twice a month, for between 3 and 7 days, I feel horrible. I feel guilty about nothing, really sad, hopeless, helpless, and like it won't go away. I just generally hate myself. Sometimes I feel like cutting. A few times I have thought of death. One time, I thought of death and then three days later I was absolutely back to normal. I have a mood chart now to track my emotions, so I am hoping this will help. I have been on other sites, and they said that I am probably bipolar, but I don't agree. Bipolar involves manic states, and I don't have that. When I don't feel really bad, I just feel normal. I don't feel over-the-top happiness. I know that most of you aren't professionals and that you can't technically diagnose me with anything, but if you could give me your opinion that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

You might have manic depression. It's where a person feels great like 3 days in a row, and then for the next 3 days they feel so depressed and helpless. I would talk to your doctor about it. And if you are a teenager, and don't want to talk about it in front of your parents with your doctor, you'll allowed to ask them to leave.
Actually the doctor prefers to talk to you about it by yourself.

i have acne on my face. only on my forehead and chin. but its really bad in those areas. i try to refrain from using proactiv and stuff like that cuz ive been told it makes your skin very irritated and flaky. i use an acne wash and acne cream whenever i have the energy to do so. only at night. during the day i totally forget.

but i cant afford any of that name brand stuff on TV but i need something over the counter that works reaally really well. that wont make my skin flaky, will clear it up, keep it clear, and nurish it. :( help?

best chance of clearing it the right way?

dermatologist.
they can give you laser treated treaments that will give you results fast.
it tingles but it works.

hi.
okay.
im 16.
im 5 months pregnant.
my boyfriends family and mine want us to keep it.
im very scared.
okay my first question is.
1. can i take the baby to school? or should i leave it at home? cause i really dont wanna leave her.
2. My boyfriend wants me to move in with him. (hes 18) and he wants to get married as soon as the babys born. Should i do it?
3. Im really strating to "pop" do you guys have nay good stores for me to go get cute prenancy clothes?!

thankss.

For the first question, some schools offer daycare while you are at school and some don't. personally I won't let my daughter go into daycare. I do online schooling at home. You can do it any time of the day and usually you'll end up graduating early. Actually I'll be graduating this decemeber and I'm 17.

The second question, its your choice. Honestly, marriage is a BIG thing. Many people get married young and what they don't understand is that you are still growing up and learning about who you are and who would like to be. Sometimes that changes 5 years from now, and when you thought you wanted to marry him, you really didn't. If you feel rushed, don't do it. and if he cant respect that then tough cookie.

3. Motherhood is okay. They're maternity jeans are really big actually. I couldn't fit into them because I was a size 1 and they don't carry a size 1. But I really liked target's line of liz lange. They have super cute clothes=]

is it all that bad? i have MANY MANY friends who are teenage parents and they just say oh i love my baby and i dont regret having it. and blah blah blah. they make it seem like its the best thing. i want to know what its really like. but i dont dare ask them because i know they wont tell me the bad things. so what did you go through or going through? do you honestly regret keeping it and all that? I DONT MEAN DO YOU REGRET YOUR BABY! because i know that its your child and you love it so you wouldnt regret that but if you could go back in time would you change things?

I am a teenage mom. I got pregnant when I was 15 years old and now I am 17. You are right they probably really wouldn't tell you the bad things. But honestly, all of the hardships don't get that bad because of what you have in the end, I'm not saying I recommend being a teenage mom, but I'm saying that when you go through it, it has its ups and downs, but your baby makes it worth it. Thats why they don't tell you the bad things. Because they know that they are worth all of it, and it really changes you as a person. It makes you stronger. It makes you responsible.

I've been cleaning my laptop over the last two days, and my keys are all sticky (not sure why :p) and also underneath the keys is disgusting. Would it be safe to pull them off, carefully, clean it, and then put them back?

yeah i would recommend a keyboard cleaner, but if you ever just have it get a little dusty, get a can of air it totally cleans it all up without you having to do a bunch of work.

i am completelyyy in love with my boyfriend. i know this for a fact and am not afraid to say it ! so i have a few questions i hope i can get solid honest answers to. i admit to being very unexperienced, but hey, you have to start somewhere.

1) we are both virgins, does this mean we can't get an STD?
2) when giving him head, do i HAVE to swallow?
3) also when giving him head, would a condom be useful?
4) i hate asking this but it has to be asked: wtf do i do with the pubic hair on both me and him?

haha thanks

1) if eitheir of you have did anything oral before yes you can get an std
2)no you don't its gross haha
3) yes, it can protect you from stds and also from recieving hpv (human papolomous virus) which you CAN recieve from giving head
4)you can shave if you want, but if he doesnt dig shaving playing with them, just gently tugging can increase a guys excitement.

im 16 years old.
and a female.

i have been with the same guy for about two years now. and yes, we are sexually active. i was just wonderin if i was supose to douche and how often.

Douching is actually not recommended by most gynocologists. It increases your risk of cervical cancer and can create infections. just get your annual every year and you'll be fine.

okay so im 15....

and

pregnant! i just found out...
yes i know i am very young to be pregnant.
i will be 16 in 2 months.
so please dont write about how im too young and blah blah blah...i already know....dont need to hear it more. thank you.

anyways....today i was on the laptop and my dad was next to me and i was looking at abortion pictures and saying how horrible it was. and my dad was like so if you got pregnant you would keep it? and i said YES I COULD NEVER KILL A BABY! and then we had this whole argument on how its not a baby at a certain amount of weeks and whatever...so i showed him an article on how they get nerves at 4 weeks so they do feel it and he was like I DONT CARE ID DRAG YOU DOWN TO THE CLINC AND MAKE YOU GET ONE! i just kept saying you cant make me..

REMEMBER....HE DOES NOT KNOW IM PREGNANT!

also when he found out my mom was pregnant with my little brother he yelled and screamed at her and dropped her off at the clinc..she sat there for HOURS crying...finally went in but they said she was too far along to get one...thank god.

so my dad is capable of having the heart to leave me at a clinc.

how do i tell him im pregnant without going through that? im keeping the baby, im still with the father and he is staying with me so i have help.

when i tell my dad should i immediately tell him abortion is out of the question?

can he really force me into an abortion? thats my right though isnt it? its not like since im under 18 he could make it get it by law right?

either way i need to tell him soon because i want this baby to be healthy so regular checkups to the OBGYN and getting put on healthy stuff is needed asap.

i live in florida if that helps?
thank you.

I was in your same shoes. I was fifteen when I got pregnant and my dad wanted me to get an abortion. I was so scared of him that I almost did. But when I saw my little girl on that ultrasound, I decided to stand up for myself. I told my dad I was keeping my baby. And you know what? He got pissed so bad, but now he loves her to death. If you want that baby, you keep that baby, its your right as a woman. And if someone tells you you arent gonna make it as a mom, you tell them that you are going to do everything in your will for your kid and that you will make it.
Don't let people bring you down.
They're just jealous that when your kid is 16 you'll only be 30.

im having a party tomorrow.. im not sure if im pregnant lets say theres a good chance.. um if i was i would only be 1 week ha because i had sex last sunday and tomorrows sunday.. is it ok if i drink? i dont even no 100% if i am or not.. but if i was it would only be a week so could that harm it if i did

I wouldn't recommend it just to be safe. Your first trimester is very important. Actually my doctor told me it was the most vital and easiest to have something go wrong because your baby is developing its major organs.

My fiance and i are really considering trying anal. Im sooo scared of this because ive heard different things from different people. I really want to do it to show him that i love him more then he already knows. Whats the best way to approach this. Is there anything i can do to make it hurt less? Any stories? Experiences?

Please Help? :(

It's your choice, but I don't recommend it. And you shouldn't have to bare pain to show your fiance that you love him.
From my experience, even if you are totally not sober, it still hurts really bad.
But if you do do it, make sure you use some kind of lubricant. Without it, it can be really bad for your health.

Im going to visit my fiance in 19 days. I really want to make love to him. But i also want it to be special. I went to www.victoriassecret.com and clicked on the sleepwear. I really dont know what type i should buy. What turns guys on. I dont want to ask him which one he likes better but i do want to surprise him. There are so many types. I need your opinion on if i should get the dress looking ones, or the ones that are see through or the ones that are opening in the middle. Im not sure. But i dont want one that looks too slutty but i do want one thats romantic.

So back to my questions. 1. What type should i buy? 2. Which one will be best. 3. Any ideas on anything special that i can get to make it amazing. 4. Any ideas on how to get into it.

lingerie is actually pretty simple to buy. go by your personality. thats what turns the guy on the most. if you're most innocent, go with the one that covers up more but still shows a little, if you're more adventrous go for the one that is more flashy. your guy will like the fact that you took the time to buy the lingerie, and he'll like it more if it fits your personality.

Hi, ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and a few days ago his friend got on the phone calling me nasty names.

and i figured out my boyfriend got wasted and madeout with another girl.

i love him but i dont trust him.

i am misrable without him. should i give him another chance?

i agree with below about that it is your decision. but like said once a cheater always cheater. most of the time, some people change, but very few. if he called you names like that, he obviously isn't respecting you, and you deserve to be respected. put you first. and although it may be horrible to break up with him, give yourself a week of romance movies, and a tub of ben and jerrys and treating your self to a day at the spa, and you'll be just fine.

Hey guys!
I'm a 16 year old girl living in Minnesota and I have a hard time tanning! I'm pretty fair (due to my swedish background) but I don't really burn. I just can never really get a good solid tan that lasts, you know? I was wondering if anyone had any good tips like certain times to go outside or whatnot? Or if you've even tried a good sunless tanner? I use Jergens ever now and then..

*Please don't recommend a mystic tan! I got one for prom this year and I absolutely loved it, but it faded after a week and they're way too expensive to get weekly!

Thanks for your help :)

mystic tan is a waste of your money. any tanning owner will tell you (but only if you work for them of course) just use a tanning bed. i know a lot of people say they are bad, and its true they can be if you don't use them right. don't scorch yourself for 12 mintues. all you do is tan little by little. if you are fair skinned like you said, start really low like 3 mintues on a second level bed. go three mintues for like 3 days, then move on to 5 mintues, and so on. if your fair skinned i wouldn't recommend more than 10 minutes TOPS. moisture everyday. it keeps your tan longer. also the shampoo and coniditoner you use can run off of you in the shower and create a barrier on your skin. i would recommend HEMPZ body wash and shampoo and conditioner, it doesn't stick to your skin and gets rid of that barrier. hope i helped!

Me and this guy have known each other for almost two years now, and we started out going out and broke up after a month, but just got alot closer. Anyway a year and a half later we are really close and we like each other. Anyway, there is something that is keeping him from me. SO there is this other guy that likes me and I had feelings for him but my feelings for this other guy that I love was keeping me from saying yes to him. So I asked him (the guy who I like) what he wanted, and he told me that he didnt want me to be with the other guy because he would miss me and he wouldn't know what he would do without being as close as we are now. I told him I needed to a reason to stay,And he said that he liked me but he wasn't ready to date me, because any relationship we would have would be serious and he didn't want a serious relationship. I asked him what he was ready for, and joking he said "some hoe on the street". I told him he wouldnt care about her, and he told me that was the point, he cared about me too much. He said because we are in high school breaking up would inevitable (he is one grade ahead of me) and he couldn't risk our friendship. I told him he made me happy and that I wanted to be with him, and he told me I made him happy but he couldn't give me the relationship he knows I dream about. What I need to know is if this is true, I'm not sure if this is an excuse or what makes guys not ready. And if he liked me how come he doesn't want a serious relationship. He says he cares about me. I told him I didn't really want a serious relationship but he said he didn't believe that because I get emotionally attached. At that moment we almost kissed (both of us have never kissed anyone before). But we were in his doorway to his room and I didn't want his parents to walk in on us, so I told him not now. When I texted him this morming I asked him if the feeling of kissing me had passed (because we are hanging out next weekend and I want to kiss him then) and he texted back that he told me yesterday that he wasn't ready to date me so it wouldn't be fair to me. Was that a rejection, I do want to kiss him, and I know he wants to kiss me. I just don't know what to make of this situation. And I need thorough advice on how to go about this. I love him, and I really think he loves me. HELP PLEASE!!!

he's scared. the pretty much same thing happened with my boyfriend and i. some guys feel like their giving up their freedom when they are this young. don't make him your top priority. pretend you have other interests, if he calls, keep it short. if he talks to girls, talk to guys. he'll get the point sooner or later, if he doesn't than he is a loser who really only does want a hoe. if he really cares about you as much as he says, he'll finally be committeed. but don't ruin your freedom over it. enjoy every moment.

So the boy i have a thing for has left for vacation for four weeks.
I know that i should just go out and have fun because it's summer, but i can't really get him out of my mind.
If i flat out asked him if he liked me, he would be really weirded out and answer honestly of course, but it would just be hard because he's gone.
I do know that he kind of has a thing for this sophmore in college also (we're seniors in highschool) and i know she wouldn't like him, but he still has a little crush on her.
I don't know..

Honestly, I would tell him that you like him. I'd be like look, I'm into you. If don't ask him, you won't know. The worst he is going to say he doesn't like you. And then you know that he's not worth your time. Why should you ponder about a guy for four weeks when you aren't even dating him? Don't waste your time worrying. You need to have fun.

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