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Should I move out?
I am a 17 year old young woman, who has a steady and loving, (but not yet sexual) relationship with my boyfriend of 18. We have been going out for a very long time now, and I know how silly it sounds but I really do think I love him.
My parents on the other hand do not. They don't even know I have feelings for him. The thing is, we were together for a bit and then I moved away, and we decided to cut it off. During this time I had a few non-serious relationships.
Three years later we moved back, and to my horror he and his ex girlfriend were having a baby. I decided to talk to him because a close friend told me that he hadn't been talking to anyone since they found out. To be honest it was heart wrenching to watch, five minutes into the conversation he broke out crying (Somthing I have never seen him do) about how scared he was, and how much he regreted it.
A few months later, we got back together secretly, because my parents would compleatly flip out if they knew.
Anyway, to get to the question, the big independent 18 is coming up, and I am starting to panic. For years my best friend and I have talked about moving out together, and now it's starting to become a posability. My question is, should I move out? Or stay, and date him in secret, that way I would be able to go to college and live at home, but on the other hand... If they were to ever find out... they'd kill me.
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Moving out is a big step. I'm always thinking about it, but you have to really sit down and think about it. And as for the boy, tell your parents. Any relationship you have that you can't tell your parents, isn't a good one. Ask them to get to know him. For you. They'll most likely do it. Second, not to be mean, but you THINK you love him? When you love someone, think isn't in your vocabulary. You love them. You can feel this powerful force of compassion and caring. It's like you never thought you could feel something that powerful, that beautiful.
Hope I helped!
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You did say you talked about moving out with your best friend, right? That is, not your boyfriend?
If that's the case, you really need to consider whether you want to move out because you want to finally see those plans come true, or because you just want to be out of your parents' house so that you can hide your relationship from your parents. It won't be fair for your best friend if it's the latter.
Also, consider all the extra responsibilities of moving out. You'll have to pay the bills, clean the house, cook for yourself, etc. Are you sure you're ready for this?
As for the boyfriend, as much as you must love him, there's a reason why your parents would not approve of your relationship. Do you know if he plans to play an active role in taking care of his baby?
If yes, this will be a huge responsibility for him, and it is also likely to make a big difference to his future. Not saying that dating someone who has a baby from a previous relationship isn't going to work, but it'll be more difficult, and being parents, your parents are going to want to protect you from it. You're still young, after all.
If your boyfriend isn't going to help his ex-girlfriend with the baby, your parents might think he is irresponsible, and that would also be a reason why they would disapprove of your relationship.
Ultimately, it's your decision. Most importantly... are you ready?
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