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Some kind of mood disorder?
For the past year, I have been having really bad mood swings. I am a girl, but I don't think that they have anything to do with my mentrual cycle. Once or twice a month, for between 3 and 7 days, I feel horrible. I feel guilty about nothing, really sad, hopeless, helpless, and like it won't go away. I just generally hate myself. Sometimes I feel like cutting. A few times I have thought of death. One time, I thought of death and then three days later I was absolutely back to normal. I have a mood chart now to track my emotions, so I am hoping this will help. I have been on other sites, and they said that I am probably bipolar, but I don't agree. Bipolar involves manic states, and I don't have that. When I don't feel really bad, I just feel normal. I don't feel over-the-top happiness. I know that most of you aren't professionals and that you can't technically diagnose me with anything, but if you could give me your opinion that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Hey love, it's 31-year-old you.
I've been thinking of you a lot lately. I am living your dream of being a therapist for teens, and lately some of my sessions have been triggering some emotions about high school experiences, and the helplessness and anger that you feel.
I want to tell you that you are right; so many of the adults in your world truly don't have a clue -- you don't just think that because you are a "dumb teenager." You don't have all the answers but you have more than people give you credit for, and I agree with you more than you might have thought I would.
I know things are so confusing now, and it's hard to know where your feelings are coming from and what you are reacting to. You will figure it out. In the meantime, it's okay to just do what you can to get through high school. As I tell my clients, the "rules" change when you graduate. The things that teachers and others pick on you for now, the things you've learned to hate about yourself, are the things people bring up the most to me now as something they really value about me. You're going to be okay, and you don't have to change a thing.
Don't feel pressured to fit into high school; it is truly overrated. When you're older and get to work with teens, you'll see that every single one you meet who struggles to find friends is someone that you would love to sit with at lunch. There is nothing wrong with you for struggling with this. Things in high school are so strange and sometimes it feels like there's no reason for things at all. But it's okay; remember you're going to graduate and high school will just be a four-year-long bad memory.
I know that you won't believe me. You're going to think that you're unlikable, that everyone else knows something you don't, and there's something wrong with the way you are. It's okay. This is all your life has shown you so far, so why would you think it could be any different? But please try to hold on to the possibility that you can be valued, have fun, and not feel so out-of-place. You just need to find your people. And you will.
So keep studying, try not to harm your body too much, and be okay with the level of friendships that you have even though they're not what you want for yourself. This isn't forever.
And by the way, I know you are worried that I would be mad at you for not going to prom, and I want you to know that I totally get it and I'm not mad in the least. I'm actually really glad that you did what you wanted to do, rather than what you feel like you should do. I know prom isn't something that you would have been able to enjoy; you feel forced to do so many things -- don't make yourself do any more. I totally hear you and support you. Again, high school is over-rated. I know you are doing your best. It would be nice to look back on positive memories, but the lack of them is not your fault. Looking back, I don't think there's anything I would really do differently. Some things can't be solved and it's not your fault.
And you are exactly who you need to be. Don't believe anyone who says otherwise.
Sending lots of love through time and space.
xoxo,
31-year-old you
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It could be a thyroid problem, but that is usually accompanied by extreme fatigue and it's ongoing. The mood swings NEVER FRIGGING STOP! Hah, I'd know. I have one [hypothyroidism].
Buut, I also have PMDD. I'm not really sure what it means. It's like PMSing only worse. Some women get so depressed that they do the most regretful, awful things. One woman put her dog to sleep and was devastated after :[
And I know you said this may not be linked to your menstrual cycle but it sounds like it due to how long it lasts. I would definitely go to a doctor, or a therapist or something.
A therapist is sworn to secrecy, UNLESS youre going to hurt yourself, someone else, or someone else is getting hurt. That would be bad.
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You might have manic depression. It's where a person feels great like 3 days in a row, and then for the next 3 days they feel so depressed and helpless. I would talk to your doctor about it. And if you are a teenager, and don't want to talk about it in front of your parents with your doctor, you'll allowed to ask them to leave.
Actually the doctor prefers to talk to you about it by yourself.
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My mom has bipolar II disorder, and based on what you have written, I agree that you don't have bipolar. There could be many reasons for you to be this way. How old are you? If you are still in middle/high school, it could just be hormones. You could also just be mildly depressed, or you could have a thyroid problem. Also, keep in mind that not all forms of bipolar involve manic states. Bipolar II often does not. Again though, I don't think you're bipolar. Keeping a mood chart is a really good idea. After you do this for a while, you could see a doctor and talk about possible causes. Get your thyroid checked. It's often a cause. If you talk to a doctor and they decide you have mild depression, you can choose whether or not to treat this with medication. Mediation has side effects and doesn't always work for mild depression. Most people get out of it on their own. Having said that, the fact that you have periods of feeling normal, I am willing to bet it's your thyroid. If you get your thyroid checked, keep in mind that the test doesn't always work the first time. You may need to check your thyroid many times before a problem is found. Good luck!
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