E-mail:
notyourmomsadvice@yahoo.comGender:
FemaleLocation:
Memphis, TNOccupation:
Business OwnerAge:
33Member Since:
June 2, 2008Answers:
110Last Update:
August 7, 2008Visitors:
8194Favorite Columnists
Siren_Cytherea
Main Categories:
Families
Random Weirdos
General Sex Questions
View All
about
I'm that person that everyone calls or e-mails when they need advice. It doesn't matter the subject, they contact me. I don't give you the answer you want to hear and most of my advice is not your mother's advice, if you want your mom's advice--Go ask your mom or mother figure. If you ask a question you will always get an honest answer--note: I did not say the answer you want-- I said an honest answer. If you ask me something I have to research to answer, I will research it and provide you with the source if you ask.
advice
I really need help on getting information about how to go about getting emancipated in New Hampshire, I just moved from Massachusetts and was going to do it there but I moved and have no information about it here. I've tried to look it up online but nothing is clear to as how to exactly go about it, or who I could possibly contact to get information about it or where to go.
I was kicked out of my house at 14, my mother left me at 7, and my dad kicked me out two years ago. He's a drug addict and I've been moving in and out of friend's houses since I moved out. I am 16 years old now and the guardian that I live with is no help with getting the stuff I need together, (signing up for school, a job, getting a car, opening a bank acount, etc.) If you can give me any advice on emancipation in NH please let me know.
There is no provision under NH law for emancipation of minors. Check with legal aid or look in the phone book or call the bar association for NH and ask their advice. Here is the number for the people that should be able to help you;
The Legal Advice and Referral
Center (“LARC”) to complete an intake
at 1-800-639-5290.
This is for NH only. The website for the NH bar is below and it may help you some.
http://www.nhbar.org/pdfs/AO86-87-3.pdf
i might be able to get a tattoo when i turn 16 in a few months. i've been thinking about tattoo ideas since i was 14 and i can't really come up with anything. i want something that has like a meaning, any ideas? i was thinking of either getting one on my foot, back of the neck, or under/behind my ear. no butterflies or stars please.
i'm a girl by the way. just throw any ideas out there hah thanks!
or if you know a good website that has tattoo ideas because i haven't found a good one yet.
again thanks =]
First off, a tattoo artist that has been doing them for a while and/or knows what they are doing normally will not guarantee a tattoo placed on any of the areas you are thinking of because they are harder places for the ink to stay and you will likely have to have it touched up more than other places.
We used to own a tattoo and piercing shop and my policy was no tattoos placed anywhere clothing wouldn't cover them on anyone under 21 because your ideas change and what you like changes. ANY tattoo you get should be able to be covered by clothing because you don't know what your job will be and you may have a position where tattoos are not allowed to be visible.
As for asking others what they think you should get; tattoos are a PERSONAL choice and if you want it to have meaning then you have to figure out what means something to you. If you don't know what you want and don't know what means something to you then you aren't ready for a tattoo that will be there for the rest of your life. My advice has always been to wear a temp tattoo in the place you plan to get the permanent one for a month--that way you get used to seeing something there and can decide if you really want it there.
My daughter is 17 and has two--one is a butterfly in memory of her grandmother who always said she'd paint butterflies when she got to heaven and the other she just had done Saturday is a superman symbol on her other shoulder blade because she is a superman fanatic and always has been.
Im 17 and im going to florida for 10 days to see my best friend. Im going by myelf and dont have an atm card and they dont have my bank down there so there is no way for me to get money so im gonna bring traverlers checks. Idk how much to bring though, i know were gonna to to 1 or 2 parks in orlando and we will probably go out every night idk how much shopping and stufff, so what do you think?
You can also pick up a prepaid mastercard or visa at a grocery store or pharmacy and some are even sold at Wal Mart. Your bank may even offer a traveling or reloadable credit card. Almost all places take visa or mastercard. Most of the reloadable ones also have a high load limit of like $1500 so you should be able to put more than enough money on them.
Okay like I said before I am moving to Louisisana. And my new school is a private school and you have to wear uniforms! I am sooo not used to that! everyone knows me at my school for basically my clothes! I won best dressed. But I was wondering what I can do to spruce up my new uniform. Im not going to Know anyone! I want my attire to resemble my personality. But I dont know how to do that! I am very bubbly and outgoing! please help!
~Londyn~ f/14
Before anyone can tell you how to dress up your uniform you will need to read the school rules and see what they say you can and can not do to alter the look of the uniform.
On the other side of this I am wondering why you are so concerned with having people know you for something so shallow as how you dress? There are plenty of other things to admire someone for other than their clothing like their personality, grades, intelligence, compassion, etc. If people judge others based on their manner of dress they may very well miss some of the best people they could have known. Prime example: I know a man in Colorado whose net worth is about $32 million and he drives a 1989 truck that has seen better days, he only buys new boots when the soles are completely gone and can't be salvaged, and his jeans look like he ran them over with a lawnmower. More times than not he needs to shave. He is the most compassionate person I know. He gives a lot to charity anonymously and doesn't take the tax break it could give him. Most people look at him and think "OMG, he is poor, why would I want to know him" but he is worth knowing and he knows who his friends are.
In Kentucky, the minimum wage as of July 1st is supposed to be $6.55 per hour. I get paid $6 an hour at my job. I work at a small store that is no way corporate. (I'm 15, by the way) Are there any exceptions to the minimum wage law? I don't know if my boss know the minimum wage went up or not! And he's a family friend, so I would feel really weird asking him to pay me more.
help?
It is a federal mandate that is requiring minimum wage to increase. However, there are exceptions for certain minors and your state maybe one of them. Ask him because if he is supposed to raise your pay and he doesn't and gets audited he can get a HUGE fine and potentially lose his business.
Besides if he is a family friend and thinks you do a good job he shouldn't mind paying you more. More than likely you are to be paid the new rate.
How do i find a bf?? I'm going to be freshman this yr. and i want a bf really bad!
the more you look the harder it will be to find. My advice is stop worrying about a boyfriend and figure out why it is so important to have one. You should be excited to be able to start high school single and date different people before you tie yourself to one boy for a relationship. When you try to force a relationship you usually end up settling for someone who isn't really what you want and that can lead to more drama and as a freshman/teenager you will have enough of that. Be patient. When the time is right for you to have a BF you won't have to look so hard. Most guys will tell you that a female that is looking for a relationship are usually pushy and demanding and not what they want to deal with.
Hello, I recently had sex for my first time on Sunday, the 22nd.
I bled, A LOT and he said I was extremely tight.
Well to my question, its been about 4 days and I'm still in pain down there. I have bloody discharge, and it hurts when I pee. I also have had no appetite for the 4 days and when I do try to eat I just feel really sick, and feel like I'm going to throw up.
How long did you hurt after your first time & is this normal or should I be worried ?
Thanks so much
It depends on the person. I bled a lot my first time too. Being tight is very normal. You could have torn a bit, especially if you weren't really ready and most teenage boys don't worry overmuch about making sure their partner is ready. The feeling sick could be from guilt for having sex, regret for having sex or just sheer panic at the thought you could be pregnant. If you are close to starting your period you could have discomfort from the sexual activity that is increased by the fact you are close to starting your period. I wouldn't worry at this point.
So, ok im f/14. IM SORRY THIS IS LONG
My boyfriend and i have been together for a year, and nine months.
Recently i have become extremely annoyed by him. We used to be able to talk for an hour or more on the phone and now i dont want to even pic up the phone and call him. but when i do, we have nothing to talk about. He talks about movies and video games i've nevr heard of, and he's not into anything i am.
We are both in our schools orchestra(acctually we are the only ones in our grade) We never were taught to the best we could be, because we were only 2 people. Next year in high school we will be with the other grades of orchestra, and i (although i have been busy this summer, and havent had time) try to practice and get better, he just says it deserves to get bad, and its the teachers fault.
We argue about alot, we have different views on almost everything. LIke he complains that his family is broke and might loose their house, but they own TONS of video games and movies, i say why dont you sell some of them, and he says no, would you rather have a family thats happy, or one thats bored?
BUT YOU WONT BE ABLE TO BE TOGETHER IF YOU LOOSE YOUR HOUSE!
He doesnt make sense in the way he thinks, and i've just lost the want of him. He tells me how much he wants me, and stuff (like.. sexual stuff)
And i dont care anymore.
I think i might like another guy, but even if i dont, i still dont really want to be with the guy im with now. But he says imthe only reason he has to live, and if i break up with him, i dont want him to commit suicide!
Please tell me what to do! and how to break up with him gently (and ways to help me get enough courage to break up with him)
Thank you SOOO much!!!
First of all NEVER stay with someone because you are their reason for living. It's a line. Some people would rather have a bad relationship than no relationship because the fear of being alone or having to start over is scary to them. For some it's just a matter of control. Keeping someone else from committing suicide is not your job. If you are that concerned he will do something like that then tell his parents. Lecture portion of the advice is over.
If you feel that you have outgrown the relationship, and it sounds as though you have, then it's time to move on. I would just tell him something like "we've grown apart and the relationship isn't working for me any longer. It's time to move on" DO NOT try the "let's stay friends" thing because in this situation it won't work. It also sounds as though you have goals and he doesn't yet. That's a major hurdle for adult relationships let alone young relationships without a solid foundation.
You're entering high school so I say cut the relationship loose and move on. You will meet new people and have a whole host of new experiences. Enjoy HS and whether you date someone else or not at least you realized this relationship isn't taking you anywhere you want to go.
It's going to be hard and he may try to keep contacting you with the "I love you" and "we can work it out" and the "I'll just kill myself" your response to these comments/threats should be "I'm sorry you feel that way but if you truly love someone you want them to be happy whether they seek that happiness with you or someone else" hang up and move on. Don't let him make you feel guilty for letting go of the relationship. It will be hard but if you have to ignore his calls, texts, e-mails, etc. Good luck.
this guy n i feel in love over vacation, he left on my third day and il never see him again. we cant even talk cause his cell is broken and i talked to him on his step mom an sisters cells but they dont live with him. i love him and he realllly loves me but i just cant take a long distence relationship and i think we should break up but i cant even talk to him so i dont know what to do??? any help
he called me everynight until his mom n sisters left and now he has no way and i cant call him bc his cells broken. he said hed call me right when it gets fixed and hes gona make a myspace but he hasnt done either yet.
i told his sister me n him should probly break up but idk how we cant talk and she says he stil really loves me, im all he talked about on the plane i love him to but i cant take a long distence relasionship its tearing me up :(
what can i do? say whatever you think
I think that at 14 you had a 3 day infatuation and lust. It's possible to fall in love with someone in 3 days, it's also possible to meet the person you'll be with forever at 14 but neither of them is PROBABLE. Move on whether you talk to him or not and if it's meant to be it will be.
ok so i was talking with my counseller today and we came round to the idea that i dont have depression. it was just me putting a label on myself and using it as an excuse for my very faulty thought processes and general fucked up ness.
does that mean im not mentally ill or not??
cause my faulty thought processes and irrational thoughts, belifs and behaviours cause me to be depressed and suicidal and make me want to cut.
im confused.
is there a name or illness similar to what i have just described or is it me still wanting a label???
If there was a label to be attached the counselor would have done it. I think you are looking for a cop out reason to aviod dealing with behavior you know needs to change. Cutting is sometimes an attention process rather than an actual addiction to cutting itself. If you can stop cutting and only use it to show how "depressed" you are then it's an excuse and attention getter not an actual illness. Sounds to me like you need to see that your life isn't so bad compared to other's. Not saying you haven't had issues---we all have but there is always someone with worse that's happened to them.
My friend babysat my dog for the weekend while I was gone. During this, he smoked weeedd and my dog was in the room. It's a pomeranian (which if you don't know is a verryyy small dog -- she weighs four pounds), and she got high from the smoke in the room. Then they blew it into her ear, which got her high.
Now do NOT say this is a myth, because I saw a video and the dog was acting so wierd. This wass like four days ago, but she still seems a little wierd and off, and is acting differently then before.
So whats the deal? Is she going to be ok?
I'm extremely worried.
Thank you for any help I can get.
If it was just weed the dog should be fine. It's no different than a person getting a contact high and it just has to run it's course. It's getting to be hot outside and every Pom I've ever had chilled out a bit in hot weather. Even my Pekapom was calmer in hot weather because of the long hair she had.
This is pretty difficult to ask, but I think I should. So, let's say you sent someone nude pictures, but you are 16, and they are 19. And then you never spoke to them again. What would you do? Because I'm worried that they'll put them on the internet, although I don't see why if I never did anything mean to them.
But if they haven't put them online, then there's nothing I can do, or want to do. I mean I really don't care if they have the pictures, only if other people do.
I'm not really sure what I'm asking by the way. But I know that if they did release them, then I could probably sue them for lots of money right? I mean at least there's a bright side? I know what I did was incredibly stupid, so I'm kind of trying to make myself feel better about it. I don't know? Just give me any advice!
In some states the person receiving the pictures could be brought up on statory rape whether you had sex with them or not. It depends on your state laws. Why are you taking nude pictures of yourself at 16? If you plan to be a porn star that's one thing but otherwise keep your clothes on in front of the camera until you are in a committed relationship.
Again if they publish the pictures it depends on the state you are in. Under 18 they can be charged on a federal level if they post them since you are under 18 and it could push the envelope for child pornography depending on if the investigating agency decided to be sticklers for the law. Legally you should have to give consent for the pictures to be used in anyway to make money but since you are under 18 you can not legally enter into a contract so your parents would have to give permission.
When in July does the new Avril Lavigne clothes line come out?
I can't find an exact date but they will only be sold at Kohl's. I checked the Kohl's site too and they just say July. Here is the website so you can register and they can send you an e-mail when they will go on sale exactly.
http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/ourbrands/avril.jsp
Ok So, I'm 15 and my friend is 14. There's this guy that is 22 and she realy likes him. We talked the other night and she told me a whole bunch of things that really concerns me. First, This 22 year old guy that she likes has a girlfriend, and she is also one of my friends. Second, everytime him and her hug, he grabs her boob. She told me that one time, when they were walking around they started making out and it turned into more than just a makeout. He actually pulled down her shorts and underwear and fingered her. I can't believe she let him. I just don't want his girlfriend to get hurt, and I dont know what to tell my friend. Ive tried to talk to her but maybe im not saying the right things. Thanks for your help
First off making out with your friend who is 14 while he is 22 is statutory rape in most states. I would tell the girl's parents. If they allow her to date someone that age--that's on them but he shouldn't be looking for a hook up or relationship with someone who is 14 when he is 22. She's going to be mad but you can always tell them not to tell her how they found out and say that someone say them and told them. Then I would have a talk with my parents and tell them everything. My daughter did this when it was one of her friends and instead of her telling them she asked me to so that it really was someone else and she could say "I didn't tell your parents" and it was true. Tell them you're worried about her and let them handle it. Sounds like she needs more supervision.
I am 30 years old, female, and I have been married for 10 years. We have two children, ages 7 and 8. I love my husband and I would describe our relationship as a good one.
My problem is I think about my ex boyfriend. A lot. As in every day a lot. Where this starts to become strangely pathetic is the fact that I haven't seen him or had contact with him in 13 years. He was my boyfriend my junior year of high school. We were only together a few months. Our relationship ended when he dumped me, and I (being 17 and completely emotional) was heartbroken. I got married when I was 20, and I dated a few guys between this ex and my husband. I never give any of the others a second thought.
It really bothers me that I still think about him so much, especially after SO MUCH time has gone by. I know they say you never forget your first love, but this has become beyond ridiculous. I'm far too humiliated to admit this to any of my friends and family. This may sound trivial, but it's become a minor form of torture and is interfering with my life and peace. Please tell me, what can I do to stop this stupidity?
Usually when something like this is happening it's not about the ex--not really. It's usually more that something is wrong in your current relationship that you don't want to deal or don't know how to deal with so you start thinking of a past love and how much different it would be if you had made that relatioship work. The reality is that the grass is rarely greener and the ex probably turned out to be fat, bald and not able to hold a job or something else that would make him equally unappealing.
I notice when describing your marriage you say "I would describe it as a good one" not that it IS a good one. Could be you are just bored, it happens. When is the last time you two had a night out--just the two of you where you didn't discuss kids or parental things? When is the last time you had sex what was more candlelit, romantic dinner- lingering over each course instead of the Value Menu at McDonald's- quick but served the purpose? When was the last time either of you made an effort to look good to one another? When is the last time he stopped in front of you to give you a kiss that curled your toes and not just the everyday peck on the lips or cheek as he was walking by? When is the last conversation the two of you had that concerned your dreams and ambitions aside from being a parent and spouse? What are your plans for when your kids are grown and out?
If it will make you feel better look up the old boyfriend on myspace or classmates.com and see what he turned into but my advice is work on your marriage/relationship with your husband and the thoughts of the old boyfriend will go away on their own. Remember though that thinking about someone else sometimes is okay too-- it's the acting on it that will get you into trouble. I have one of those old boyfriends and I wondered about him and wanted to talk to him and all of that for years--until I met my husband. Now the old boyfriend passes my mind a few times a year and it's like thinking of an old friend and nothing more. People who were important to you or part of an important/emotional time in your life are always going to be in your thoughts but using the idea of that relationship because this one is in need of repair is not the way to handle it nor should it be used as an "escape" from the issues at hand. Another guess is that the old boyfriend was the last person you were truly "passionate" about. Emotions were high, you thought you were in love and he moved on leaving you with all those emotions to work through on your own. Self defense mechanisms demand retribution for the emotional turmoil he caused when he broke you heart. Somewhere it's in the back of the mind that you could do the same to him given the chance or why wasn't I enough? You were 17 and thinking he was Mr Right when in fact he was Mr Right Now. When you think of him add the thought "but it was for the best" and move to the next thought. It's a way of conditioning you brain to not associate high levels of hormones with thoughts about him and not triggering a release of emotions that will make you long for something you really don't want.
Buy a copy of the kama sutra and some dirty dice. Buy a nice nighty. Send the kids to a friend or grandma's house. Make a nice meal maybe a bottle of wine or whatever. Tell your husband that this night is for the two of you and you need it and he is expected to go along. He can come in from work and shower putting on a pair of shorts or sweats or just a robe. Play some music, have dinner, drink and COMMUNICATE with each other. Talk about anything that is not kid, bill or job related. Play with the dirty dice and remember that "kiss below the waist" doesn't always include the genital area but instead behind the knee. It's funny and you will laugh and hopefully remember why you married him in the first place. Be prepared for awkward silences and silly looks but laugh and enjoy those too.
Someone please please please help me find a store in NJ that sells NYX makeup!!! thank you.
Beauty Elements
1256 Indian Head Rd. Toms River NJ 08755 (732) 349-3889
Beauty Elements
2433 Hwy 34 Wall NJ 08736 (732) 528-9442
Beauty Supply Store
60 Brick Plaza Bricktown NJ 08723 (732) 477-3659
Beauty Supply Store
1700 Madison Ave. Lakewood NJ 08701 (732) 905-8955
Beauty Supply Store
3216 Bridge Ave. Point Pleasant NJ 08742 (732) 892-9727
Well I posted something here a while ago about someone breaking into our house. Well when I walked home today, someone that lives on my street gave me this really dirty wallet asking if it belonged to my dad. He was getting his hedges cut when he found it in the hedges. I took out the first card I saw in it and it was my health card!
I said thank you and immediately went home and told my dad what happened and gave him the wallet and told him to call the police like right NOW.
He just said no and just took out the cards that he canceled, threw them away, and put the wallet on the window sill and walked away.
I was like "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? CALL THE POLICE!" But he kept saying no and was really quiet. It was like he was a totally different person.
I just...don't know what to do. He's supposed to call the police isn't he? I keep telling him to call the police but he keeps shaking his head and saying no. I don't get it. Could someone tell me if they know what he's feeling from his perspective? We should be calling the police! When our house was broken in, the police could not find any clues at all and now we have SOMETHING.
Your dad probably feels violated and as if he didn't protect his family. Rational or not it's how a lot of men feel when their house is broken into. He should call the police but now that your neighbor and you and your dad have all touched the wallet if may have smudged the prints if there were any. finding it in the neighbor's bush probably wouldn't help unless he knew who threw it there or has someone living in his house that could be suspected. My guess is that your dad wants to just move on. The only other option could be that he knows who broke into your home and doesn't want to talk about it. My dad reacted that way when he found out it was my brother who had broken into his house looking for money for drugs. He wouldn't turn him in. He finally told us but it was after we begged him to tell us what was happening and I asked him "did X do it?" and he said yes.
ok so there is a Teen Focus in my town, which i've heard is a planned parenthood type thing. if my boyfriend and i [17 & 18] go in to get tested for STDs, is it free? if not, about how much would it be? would it show up on medical bills or anything like that? do they test for EVERYTHING, or do you have to specify what you want to be tested for? also, do they just draw blood? any info would be greatly appreciated. their website doesnt give me much info =]
Normally the testing is free. Your parents are not told and no it doesn't show up on medical bills if it's free. If you use your parents insurance it does show up on statements. If you are sexually active you need to schedule a full pelvic exam and have the other tests for STDs done. You also might want to get birth control while you are there. They normally do all of that for free if you are under 18. Your BF may have to pay a small amount. Call them and ask. As for the blood testing--most HIV/AIDS tests use blood and they can also check for syphillis and other diseases with the same blood.
hey i asked about the tatoo question. since you said you owned a tattoo shop, im guessing you would know if i got a lip tattoo, would that be better then near my pubic hair? and what are the effects on that? i heard that one fades away after a amount of time? is that true?
There is no guarantee that any tattoo will fade. There is no guarantee that a tattoo won't fade on a person. It depends on the tattoo, the ink, and how well you care for it. I think you need to wait for your parents to approve a tattoo. I signed for my daughter's when she was 16. A tattoo is something that will be on your body for the rest of your life and is not something you should get "just because you want one" It should have special meaning to you and be something that will always have special meaning to you. I have a very large tattoo on my back and it will be there forever but so will the meaning behind it.
There is a difference between a tattoo that you get somewhere on your body and what is considered permanent make up tattoos. Permanent make up tattoos are things like eyelid tattoos that are permanent so that you don't have to put eyeliner on everyday. Some women do have lip color tattooed on though it's not as common as eyelid tattoo. Also remember that your skin will stretch and shrink over the years and what is a cute rose bud now may very well turn into a long stem over the years.
i am going to get this tatoo: http://photobucket.com/image/star%20tatoo/kim123308/tattoo.jpg?o=23
but more near my .. vagina. i'm hiding if from my parents so its barly going to show in a bathing suit but i was wondering.. i shave my whole pubic area down there. can i still do it when i get a tatoo? & do i have to wait a little while, when i get the tatoo near their, to shave?
You'll have to wait 6-8 weeks to shave. I recommend against getting a tattoo if your parents are unaware and you are a minor. Any number of things can go wrong, especially in an area as sensitive as your vaginal area. Tattoos have to be properly cared for including cleaning, ointment and air circualtion and that is an area that can become infected easily. I used to own and operate a tattoo and piercing shop.