|
... what should i do? (SORRY IF ITS LONG! PLEASE READ)
So, ok im f/14. IM SORRY THIS IS LONG
My boyfriend and i have been together for a year, and nine months.
Recently i have become extremely annoyed by him. We used to be able to talk for an hour or more on the phone and now i dont want to even pic up the phone and call him. but when i do, we have nothing to talk about. He talks about movies and video games i've nevr heard of, and he's not into anything i am.
We are both in our schools orchestra(acctually we are the only ones in our grade) We never were taught to the best we could be, because we were only 2 people. Next year in high school we will be with the other grades of orchestra, and i (although i have been busy this summer, and havent had time) try to practice and get better, he just says it deserves to get bad, and its the teachers fault.
We argue about alot, we have different views on almost everything. LIke he complains that his family is broke and might loose their house, but they own TONS of video games and movies, i say why dont you sell some of them, and he says no, would you rather have a family thats happy, or one thats bored?
BUT YOU WONT BE ABLE TO BE TOGETHER IF YOU LOOSE YOUR HOUSE!
He doesnt make sense in the way he thinks, and i've just lost the want of him. He tells me how much he wants me, and stuff (like.. sexual stuff)
And i dont care anymore.
I think i might like another guy, but even if i dont, i still dont really want to be with the guy im with now. But he says imthe only reason he has to live, and if i break up with him, i dont want him to commit suicide!
Please tell me what to do! and how to break up with him gently (and ways to help me get enough courage to break up with him)
Thank you SOOO much!!!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
its pretty clear that you have out grown him and you two have grown apart.and when it comes to you ywo breaking up ask your self. is it fair to him to lead him on and you dont feel the same way about him as he feels about him. or if your not 100% shure that you wanna break up woth him. tell him you need a break and that you just need some space to think. if you have thought things through and if you 100% want to break up with him just explain to him clearly why you are breaking up with him. be as nice as possible. tell him you can still be freiends and every thing if you want. tell him that the right girl is out there for him and that person just isn,t you. since you are worried that he may commit sucide.
hope every thing works out for the best
]
First off, you shouldn't be with someone if it doesn't make you happy and you don't want to be with them. In the long run that is just going to hurt them more than a break-up now will.
Second, someone who is going to commit suicide 90% of the time is not going to tell everyone they are thinking about it. Sure he is going to be hurt if you break-up with him, but 9 times out of 10 he won't commit suicide. My ex-boyfriend of 3 years said he was going to commit suicide if I ever broke up with him and that kept me with him for a good while, but in the end I realized that I deserved to be happy and that if he cared like he said he would let me be happy. Even if you do think he is capable of it you shouldn't stay with him simply because of that fact, you deserve to be happy not stuck in a relationship you don't want to be in.
I think you should sit him down and let him know that you just believe the two of you are growing in two different directions. Let him know that you still care about him, but just don't feel like you used to about him. Tell him that if he really cares about you the way he says he does then he will just you let you go, and if things are meant to be then they will work out. Be gentle with him, but be firm at the same time.
Hope I Helped.
]
Heyy. This is a tough problem, but i really don't think your relationship is healthy and think you are right for wanting to end it.
If he is sensitive and really cares for you it is very important to break up with as gentle as possible, like you said. First you should tell him that you still care about him and don't want him out of your life. Just tell him that you two have grown apart and you think it would be better for the both of you if you could just be friends. If he gets very upset just tell him, you aren't happy and if he really doesn't care for you he'll understand.
No matter how gentle you it is still going to be very hard to do and he might still get very upset. Just make sure he knows you still want to be close with him and that you will still be there for him and friends.
Sorry its long, and i really hope it goes well and that i helped!!! Let me know how it goes! =]
]
First of all NEVER stay with someone because you are their reason for living. It's a line. Some people would rather have a bad relationship than no relationship because the fear of being alone or having to start over is scary to them. For some it's just a matter of control. Keeping someone else from committing suicide is not your job. If you are that concerned he will do something like that then tell his parents. Lecture portion of the advice is over.
If you feel that you have outgrown the relationship, and it sounds as though you have, then it's time to move on. I would just tell him something like "we've grown apart and the relationship isn't working for me any longer. It's time to move on" DO NOT try the "let's stay friends" thing because in this situation it won't work. It also sounds as though you have goals and he doesn't yet. That's a major hurdle for adult relationships let alone young relationships without a solid foundation.
You're entering high school so I say cut the relationship loose and move on. You will meet new people and have a whole host of new experiences. Enjoy HS and whether you date someone else or not at least you realized this relationship isn't taking you anywhere you want to go.
It's going to be hard and he may try to keep contacting you with the "I love you" and "we can work it out" and the "I'll just kill myself" your response to these comments/threats should be "I'm sorry you feel that way but if you truly love someone you want them to be happy whether they seek that happiness with you or someone else" hang up and move on. Don't let him make you feel guilty for letting go of the relationship. It will be hard but if you have to ignore his calls, texts, e-mails, etc. Good luck.
]
More Questions: |