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freaked out
so, i recently transfered to an girls school from a coed school. so i'm kinda new to the environment. its been about a month of classes alredy and suddenly, i feel a bit different to this popular lesbian. and it MIGHT because i'm starting to like her!! but this can't be happening! i think a girl having a crush on a girl is gRoSS!!! but then, what can i do about it?? how do i stop myself before i do anything stupid!!?? please help me!!
-Carlotta
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your concious mind may think a girl with girl is nasty but it sounds like subconciously u actually like it its not un natural in fact its even more natural now days follow your heart not your head you never know if she may actually be the person your destined to be with!!
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just ignore her dont think about her as much enless you like her the brain is a complex thing you never know what would happen in the future just fallow your heart i know its like a saying in a movie but its true go with your heart jusr ask her to be youe friend first
~monique
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You're in an all girl environment, and it's a big change from a coed school. There are two possibilites in your situation. One, you are attracted to this girl, and really may like her. Or two, you are attracted to her because of the lack of options.
If you are this grossed out about feeling attracted towards another girl, there is a chance that you're just settling for what you can get. It's kind of like when your in prison. A lot of women get together in prison, because it's the best they can do. You're spending all of your time there, and the only thing you can get your hands on is a girl. Maybe once you start spending time with guys again, you'll realize that's who you are truely attracted to.
Then again there is the possibility that you are a lesbian. This is a big deal, and it can be kind of hard to accept. I know you may think being gay is gross now, but maybe you are just in denial. It's very common for gays to not accept what they are when they first find out they are attracted to the same sex. But it's ok if you are, and you need to realize that.
But whatever you are is your choice. And as for stopping yourself from doing something stupid, I can't help you much here. Because I believe that if you did it at the time, you had a reason for it, and the best you can do is learn from your mistakes. I don't regret anything i've ever done, because I wanted to do it at the time. If you feel being with her is right, then I say go for it. Because obviously you like her.
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It's a phase that you're going through at this age. Dun worry because I went thru that too, and I eventually emerged fine (and straight).
You are finding out what your sexuality is. But don't worry. You're feeling like this because of peer influence and because of the lack (or rather absence) of boys.
Go out and meet new friends, new guys, keep in touch with your friends from your co-ed school so that you'd have a balance of people from different school backgrounds. If you wanna remain straight, mix around more with your old frens from your co-ed school so that they can influence you.
Meanwhile, think of guys more often. Look out for cute hollywood actors, fantasise bout them. Think of how hot they look with their toned body, biceps and washboard abs. Drool over them! That popular lesbian would be imcomparable and can never look like that! Dream of how the guy of your dreams can sweep you up and just kiss you passionately! Indulge in love stories and movies (between a guy and a girl of cos =D ) ! Look out for eye candies on the streets and gossip bout them with your girlfriends ! Girls are excellent friends but they make the worst partners in relationships. hehe. sorrie but its the truth.
So, have fun ogling at cute guys yea? =)
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Listen hun, Don't worry about it. That's what happens when you go to an all girl school. Besides, you aren't lesbian thats bisexual which is totally different. Every girl is bi sometime in their life time. You won't do anything stupid because you don't want to. You can always change schools. But there is always lesbians at an all girl school, that's why I've never been to an all boy school, it changes you. I'd leave and hang out with boys as much as you can lack of the oppisite gender is what causes it.
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ha! well ya know when your trapped in a all girl school it cant be helped. did ya know homosexual feelings are within all of us? heterosexuality is a learned behavior! so dont worry your normal. if you want to stay with the straight thing then just have disiplain. that or sneak out to town and find guys to hang with that would cure it.
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you shouldnt be emmbarrassed by your feelings if your worried about what people think then keep it quiet do what feels right just because you might have feeling of the same sex doesnt mean your a bad person maybe let time pass by stay silent about these fears and wait awhile if they are real they will last and just maybe try it lifes about taking chances rmember that
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1. Read the other people's advice.
2. I'm sorry this may sound mean but, why do you like this girl if you obviously think lesbians are "gRoSS". Stop being such a homophobe and consider the possibility that you may just want to be friends with her. Or once again you may want to be with her because she's popular. My best advice is to try to become friends with her and after awhile if you still have these "feelings" for her, experiment and ask her out. If you don't feel comfortable, explain to her and gently let her down. &;hearts, ringo.
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hey,
I've read your problem and i understand what your trying to say, and i am sure that its all strange and hard for you this whole transfer to a new school.
First of all, i would like to clarify a point for you, when a person( for example a female), meets another female, and really likes her personality and character, and even appearance, and sometimes gets these weird thoughts. But this is all because this female likes the opposite one, and is so fond of her, and even takes her as her ideal person. But it doesn't actually mean that you are a lesbian like her, or that your going to do something stupid with her. I mean... think about this, do you really want to end up being a lesbian, and kissing a girl and doing this and that with her? OR would you rather do all these stuff with a boy ,who would love you and care about you, and your relationship could be serious and people would respect you.On the other hand, if you do something with this girl and get serious with her, than people will start to disrespect you and will not want to be friends with you, mabye some will, but most of them won't.
And if you weren't a good person,cared about her reputation, you wouldn't have came here to post this question and ask for someone's help.
She can't force you to do something with her,and as long as you think that two girls hooking up together is gross, than you will never doing anything stupid that you'll regret.
Besides, you have just been transfered to a new school, so make new friends and know other people who are good and respectable and concentrate on your studying and stuff. Because if you do something stupid and become a lesbian like her,than believe me when i say that you will regret it for the rest of your life, and than if you try to change again to be straight, you would have already built a bad reputation, and nobody would want to be friends with you, and no guy would date you. So do you see what i am trying to say, that a girl like her could ruin your entire social life and reputation.But i know that you are better than that, and i am sure that you have other friends,so get to know them better and get close to them. And you can still talk to that other girl,but show her that your not interested in anything of the whole"lesbian"thing, and just be good friends,and ask about her and stuff, but not more than that.
Finally, if there any further problems, troubles ,worries and concerns, please be free to contact me.
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There isnt really much you can do to stop your emotions against someone even if it is a girl. Just write down I LIKE GUYS on a piece of paper and read it over about 50 times. Or think that the girl you might like is so ugly. I really cant help you with this one if my other suggestions dont work then think of something else.
<3 Alli
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Carlotta,
Hi you know, it could be you dont like her, but since there are no boys around your getting so bored. But remind yourself you like guys, and that this whole lesbian thing isnt for you. Be careful with your actions because sometimes the outcome isnt very friendly.
<3
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You can't really stop your feelings this could just be a simple stage, maybe since shes popular and cute (i dont know if she is) but if she is it could just be an attraction you have to her. or maybe you have mixed feelings from being in this new enviorment just wait a couple of weeks and see if your feelings change, if not then talk to a best friend you can trust, sorry this is the best advice i have
Signed,
DancinHottie
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avoid that girl. Write down what your issue is and read it over about a dozen times.
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