|
Marrige
I'm 18 he's 21. We are thinking about getting married after 1 year together. He has a lot of sexual fantasies of being with other girls but says he can try to forget about having sex with more people and settle down. Is he REALLY ready for marrige?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
first of all, being together for a year doesnt seem long enough to think about marrage, especially since you both are still so young. from my experience guys dont truly mature until theyre almost in theyre 30's(this might sound horrible but if you think about it you'll see what i mean) anyway, every young guys dream is to experience a bunch of different women, and if you tie him down now, theres no way to be certain he wont be unfaithful. my advice: wait a few years. let him do whatever he wants in this period, let him get all of his wild fantasies out. if he loves you, he'll wait, and if you love him you can do the same. i hope i helped =]
]
ok iam nowhere near the age of even really thinking of getting married(14)but , this guy seems nice and likes you. but, iam not sure that hes ready enough to get married. let him cool off for another year until you know that hes really ready and doesnt do anything stupid (as in cheat or something)it seems to me hes a little too obsessed over sex to get married to just wait until your sure hes not just in it for sex.
]
No, obviously.
]
Hi, you say that he thinks of other women. He does sound as though he has lust for you and girls rather than love. To get married to someone, you have to love them and have lots of affection for them. He doesn't sound to show and your both are quite young. I would wait a few more years, then wait and see. Don't rush into anything. Daniel.
]
no cuz ur like 18.. wait a couple years then get married i guess..
]
he "can try" to forget. oh hell no, honey. he's not ready. he has to be PREPARED to the forget. scratch that, he has to ALREADY HAVE FORGOTTEN. marriage is a big commitment. you dont want to be divorced by the time your 23. that's when most people get married. 23-27.
]
In a word, no.
]
(Honey, are you?)
Anyways, I would have to say no, I very much doubt that he is ready for marriage, emotionally, sexually, or in any practical sense either.
Fantasies are fantasies. We all have a lot of them, hell, I have dozens. Some I'd love to fulfill, some I know I'm better off leaving as fantasies. But your boy is thinking about this the wrong way and that is what betrays the fact he is not ready to commit to you completely.
He is thinking "I will give up my fantasies; I will try and forget because she wants me too." If he were ready for marriage it wouldn't be about trying to forget or settle down or give up anything, instead he would see what he was gaining in you and be thinking "I choose her above all others, which means I need to look into fulfilling all my sexual needs with this wonderful women I love."
If you got married now he might resent you because he can't have sex with others and try to bully or guilt you into consenting to him fulfilling those 'needs' or he might simply cheat. He needs to recognize fidelity as his own choice, not just as sexual rules he has to follow. Until he can make that perspective switch, he aint ready.
]
No, I don't think so. Also, its not the smartest thing in the world to get married, you should go to college first, you & him. Get your act together, & then settle down. You are only 18 you should be enjoying your fun years. Because, this is the time when you should be going to bars, & parties & such. With your friends. & meeting hot guys. & if hes saying he can 'try' then I'm sure hes lieing.. he should be saying he will. Not try. Get rid of him, asap.
]
well i don't know exactly. he may be lying to you but he may be telling the truth. i say that you need to sit down with him and have a serious conversation about your future. if you believe what he tells you then go for it, but if you doubt it i would consider putting things on hold. it is a big step to take and both of you need to be in it with your hearts.
]
Whether or not he's ready doesn't have anything to do with his fantasies. Fantasies are just fantasies, and everybody has them. They are actually good--if you can fantasize while having sex, it will actually improve the sex. But I digress. If you truly feel in your heart that either one of you is not ready to be married, then don't get married. But don't let imaginary women that don't even matter ruin what could be a wonderful relationship.
-Lea
]
I would have to say no.
At 21, he's basically at his sexual peak. If you marry him now, there's a chance he won't be able to restrain his thoughts and urges.
It's just too risky; you don't want to marry him and then get hurt. If you can stay together with him for three more years (the longer the better), then you could be sure that the thoughts have either died down, or he is serious enough to get married.
]
The key word here is fantasies. Everyone has them. But if he will act out his fantasies and have sex with these other girls and wants to be married to you, then no. Perhaps he isn't ready. But you should trust what he says..
]
More Questions: |