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considered rape?sorry it long
ok....this is hard to talk about but im going to try to get it out best i can.im in college, and i really like this guy( ill call him rob) for a while. we never hooked up or anything, but talked dont the phone here and there.sometimes he use to joke around about things he wanted to do with me sexually,but i always just thought he was kidding because we were kinda friends.so this one day, i was really drunk and he called me to come over to his apartment. i was so excite because i really like him and he alwasy told me what a great girl i was and how he liked me alot. i thought one day he was really gunna get serious with me. Anyway, i went there and he told me he wanted me to listen to some song in his room, i went in and when i did his roomate was in ther and i kind aheard him tell him to leave, then he left rob locked the door. i started to get nervous because i wasnt really expeting to hook up with im or have sex, but i just went with it because i was so drunk. we end up starting to hook up and then it just got bad. we started to have sex, which was ok with me because i thought he really like me and it was going to be so great.it ended up be the most hurtful thing i have ever gone through, pyshcially and emotionally. he was having sex with me really rough, and it hurt really bad, i was very drunk but i managed to say your hurting me, so he would stop, but then he would just do the same thing again. he was throwing me around the bed like a rag doll, and i was crying inside.i said stop it hurts, but he took that as "stop for a sec then start again" this went on for a good 20 mintues till i fianlly made up some excuse to leave.when i left i cried the entire way home. i got home and i had bruises bewtween my legs already.i was so hurt because i though he like me and he treated me so terribly....but what i always wanted to know was...is that considered rape or something close to it???sorry so long, i just pushed it out of my mind for song long becauseit really screwed me up in the head to the point i cant trust guys anymore and talk of sex with a guy totally scares me...advice please what do you think??im i blowing this out of poportion? because i didnt exactly say or scream stop like i was being raped....i dunno please advice
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Hey, I'm answering this way way after everybody else, but yes this is rape. It is illegal to have sex with a drunk person and the fact that you told him to stop furthers proof that it was indeed rape. It's not your fault, that's what women tell themselves a lot, and that simply isn't true. It's his fault, he raped you. You didn't put up more of a fight probably b/c you were scared he'd hurt you if you did. Tell a friend, counselor, hell anybody you trust. He probably won't be convicted b/c there is no more proof. Sorry, but it's the truth. It's a he said/she said type deal. However, it's not too late to tell somebody and thats what you should do.
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that was definately rape. if he did not stop when you asked him to it was rape it was not your fault that this guy was a jerk you should tell someone about it or he could end up doing it again. i hope i helped you.
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not close to it. exactly it. having sex with a drunk person is rape, pure and simple (well you know what i mean). rape is NEVER your fault, no matter what the rapist, or anyone else might tell you. it doesnt matter that you were drunk, or if you went over there half naked, it was rape. if you say stop and he doesnt, its rape, pretty much by deffinition. also, having sex with a drunk person, even if they dont say no or stop is considered rape. now unfortunately since you waited so long, you wont be able to press charges, but you said you didnt want to anyway (i have no idea why) if it hasnt been too long, i strongly suggest going to police, because if hes done this to you, he might do it to other girls too. you can try to get the roomate to be a witness for your side, but if he refuses you can always threaten him because standing by and doing nothing is illegal as well. if you need any more help feel free to ask me a private question.
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Oh wow, this guy was really a jerk wasn't he? The sex against your will is rape yes. I understand why you'd be so upset, he really took advantage of the fact that you liked him. I can see why you have trouble trusting again. Whatever you do, talk to someone or not, don't blame yourself. You didn't go there asking to be treated in a bad way, you would never want something like that to happen. It was his fault entirely! Basically he raped you and assaulted you, this is against the law of course. I can only imagine that this guy will do this to someone else. Rape is not even about sex, it's about control and power.
When you meet the right person just take it slow. If you don't want to go into any details, just tell them that you were treated badly by a guy and will need time to trust them. If the guy really likes you he will be patient and understanding, and can actually help you to trust again.
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yes, it is considered rape, if he doesnt stop at command. I would be scared too if I was treated like that, and I dont blame you for not trusting guys, but not all guys are rapists. It is not your fault, it was his fault for starting the rough sex. For what he did, he should be in prison, because it uis unacceptable by law.
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OMG, I'm so sorry. At first, it wasn't considered rape, but then, since you told him to stop, it is considered rape. Tell an adult. It's gonna be hard, but I think if your parents are protective of you, they'll try to get the guy in jail. I think that if this were a court case, that guy would be brought in jail, but then if that guy brought a lawyer, the lawyer would bring up the point that you did agree to start it, then make everyone point the finger of blame at you. I hope you will not make a mistake like this next time, and I hope you will remain safe. Best of luck. :-(:-/:-)
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omg im sooo sorry it would be considered rape because even if you are under the influence and u do have sex if you say stop at anytime then he has to stop. even if he did stop for a second and then start back up again you shouldnt be treated like that. o my gosh my stomach just dropped reading this i feel so bad that you had to go through this being throughn around like a rag doll. there are plenty of anonomous hot lines that you can call and ask and tell your story too. i really hope everything get better for you.
write back if you need anything.
love Brittany
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This would never hold up in court. You were willing at the start and it doesnt sound like you resisted him very much, like when you said "stop", it was taken as "stop for a min", and you didn't exactly jump up and try to get away. Saying "you are hurting me" is not saying "I don't want to do this anymore". Then, when you "found and excuse to leave" you left without incident (i.e. he didn't hold you against your will). I think he treated you disrespectfully, but I wouldn't agree that he raped you. I understand that this would hurt you emotionally, so I think counseling is in your best interest. I also think you ought to learn to become more assertive to avoid letting someone treat you like this, if it isn't what you want. I'm sorry if I sound callous about this, but there really is a distinct difference between rape and what you went through, and it must not be taken lightly either way. You really need to talk to someone to deal with your issues on the subject, but don't confuse a negative encounter with actual rape.
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unless you were actually resisting him, it wouldnt be considered rape. Sorry that it was such a horrible situation, but you (as many people) are sort of diferent people when they are drunk. he was drunk to, so in my point of view, it was ALMOST as much your fault as his. Sorry my answer didn't comfort you, but I told it like it was. Hope things get better.
Ex's and Oh's
brittany
1? wtf? u gave all the people that gave you an honest answer u didnt like a low rating? FINE! YOU can go to court and YOU can lose your case but in the end, remember that you dissed someone who WAS trying to help you out.
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Hi, Im quite confused about wether it's rape or not. You did enjoy at first and went with it even though you were drunk. It is quite likely though that it is rape because:
a)He did'nt stop when you told him to
b)You were both drunk
Go and see a Counsellor or the Police. Someone to talk to is helpful. I know that it's quite silly of me saying this but, you should still trust boys. Maybe you should start talking to some boys who are shy or look like they are very nice and kind and helpful. There are some really really nice guys who would love to be your friend. And believe me, there really are. This has hurt you, and no it does not sound like your blowing it out of propotion. Remember that its your body, and anyone who is doing anything sexual to your body without your consent, is sexually abusing you. Im here at advicenators if you want to talk a bit more about it. Please don't hesitate to ask me a question. Hope Ive helped you. Daniel.
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Considered Rape,
I think it is important to for you to understand that if you feel horrible over the situation...you should talk to someone on a professional level like a counselor. Sometimes we get caught up on "labeling" what happened, when the bottom line...you felt disrespected by him and that is what you have to deal with. First and foremost before you do anything, I think a counselor will be able to help you assess how you really feel about the situation. Getting revenge or denial will not make you feel better about yourself. Only discovering your feelings in a safe and secure environment will allow you to heal through your pain. There may be a lot of problems that occurred during that night, but it is important to figure out how you feel and if you said to stop...it should have. Any respectful guy would have and asked what was wrong? Overall a counselor can help guide you with how you need to deal with your situation. Each "rape" case is different, but your emotional health is what is most important and a counselor can help you through this difficult time.
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that would be and iffy thing if it went to court cause you where drunk, but i would say it was rape. cause he didn't it soo roughly. but also he could have thought you liked it like that. also i don't know what he said he wanted to do to you but you "going along with it" would have made him believe you wanted it as bad as he did.
i would say it would be rape but from the law point of veiw that might say no. cuz of almost everything you have said.
i know this sucks and your going to have a really hard time getting over this.
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Ouch. That must really suck. I'm so sorry, hun.
You can talk to the police about or maybe go see a counselor if you want to talk to someone. If you told him to stop and he kept going, then that can be considered as rape.
Good luck.
I hope you feel better.
♥
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Wow,im soo sorry this had to happen to you hun.It sounds to me like you were raped its called "date rape".A guy should listen to you when you say no and he shouldnt hurt you like he did thats a horrible thing to go through.I would go to the police and file a report if this happened not too long ago im sure youll probably not the first one he's done it to either.And dont even think it was your fault because it wasent at all if you even think that.If i was you i would pretty much pound on this guy and just yell at him for what he did to you.If you guys werent safe while doing it either you might want to get yourself check out at the doctors office.I feel so bad for you hun,but dont worry youll eventually get through this,and jsut know your not alone because their are plenty more girls like you out there.I found a website on how to get over rape i thought it might help you out: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Good Luck and Take Care!
♥ danielle
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Hi,
This is Stephanie! ok i think you should take action he locked the door!! he hurt you!!! tell someone!! like a lawyer!!! I hope you really think about this!!!
I hope i helped!!
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Reading this at first, I was like NOOO that aint rape, she was willing...BUT when you told him to stop, it hurts and he kept on, that is considered rape to me. You having bruises between your legs is awful, that just let's us know exactly how much force he was using on you. Alchol & sex are never 2 things that should be mixed together, if for no other reason than the simple fact that what happened to you that nite could be chalked up to, well she was drunk ya know. I'm sorry to hear that you are having problems trusting men, I know first hand where you are coming from...It took me a long time to learn this and I still have to keep it in mind... "NEVER BLAME A NEW LOVE FOR THINGS AN OLD ONE DID." Now I'm fully aware that this guy wasn't a "love" but it's just a simple reminder that not every guy you meet is wanting to hurt you.
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I'm so sorry this happened to you, no one diserves that. And at first, it wasnt considered rape because you were willing. However, that changed the second you said stop and he refused. He crossed the line by not respecting your wishes. Please, don't let what he did hurt other guy's chances. You will find the right guy who won't act this way. Wait for someone you really trust to have sex with. Also, the next time you have sex you should talk to your partner and have a code word for when it hurts and you want him to stop.
I'm so sorry for everyting, but i hope this helps some.
--love.love.
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