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June 2, 2006Answers:
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Offering Spiritual and Relationship advise for those who are truly open to it.~Open your Heart to Receive~
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I am a Christian, and always have been. I pray at LEAST every other day, I occassionally go to church, I repent, I try to limit how much I sin, and I believe that Jesus is God's son.
I used to be very certain that I would end up in Heaven. But recently, I came across a Bible verse that has been on my mind for a while. It's Matthew 7:13-14.
"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a fiew find it."
Now I'm basically VERY worried about not making it to Heaven. The Bible says that it's hard to get in, but it also says that believing in Jesus is the only thing you need in order to get into Heaven. So I don't know what to do. =[
I'm also kind of starting to wonder about other religions. I think "If Christianity isn't the true religion, then I'll go to Hell forever", so I worry even MORE.
Please help. I don't need reassurance. I need answers.
Dear Christian,
What you are experiencing is actually a good thing. You are starting to question and that is the only way your Faith will be stronger. Faith is earned (through hard work and discovery) not given (by words of another). Believing in Christ is not the answer...it is living as Christ did that is important to know. There is not ONE true religion...but there is ONE true belief that is right for you. Religion is man-made, Spirituality is God-Made...religion is just a tool to help us on our path. Only you can discover that...not what your parents have set for you, or your church, or your friends...it is about your journey of getting on the path that leads you to GOD. Your relationship between you and God is personal and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is NOT telling you with your best spiritual interest in mind. It's okay to question things that were told to you and understand that they are not all lies...they are just what other people have discovered to be true for them. I tell my clients try to read the bible with the Spirit and not the head. That is the way the Bible was intented to be read. Yur mind can confuse you when trying to understand such Spiritual Text.
That Bible verse that you quoted is very powerful and very open for interpretation. My advice on that verse is to just think about the many who think they are entering the "gates" because they "think" they know the answers...when in fact they may be misguided. If your heart feels led to follow the Path of Christ, then honor that...his teachings and his ways will lead to God. If your heart does not feel that calling then it would be wise to contact someone you trust to help advice for what is best for you and that will listen without judgement. You may not have all the answers...that is okay...it is your quest for the answers is what is important. Blessings to you on your Spiritual Journey!
ok well my friend max is an athiest. he doesnt belive in any kind of god. hes like a science nerd so that probably has something to do with it. well i really want him to belive in God but i dont know how i can talk to him about it. we arent close enough to talk about that stuff. what should i do?
Dear Friend,
Your concern I understand is because you care about your friend. You also have to understand that his beliefs have nothing to do with you or your friendship or your beliefs. To be a true friend is to honor him and let him discover his truth. You don't have to agree with them but you can still honor your friendship with him. If he seeks answers, he will ask you...but if he does not, then you should remain a friend and not be consumed by changing his way of thinking or making him see things the way you do. One thing I think many people do in regards to beliefs and religion, is that they put their own ego involvement in regards to another's belief system...when in fact we should be accepting and stay true on our own path. If you are meant to guide him...the opportunity will be offered to you by him...the situation should never be forced. Respect and Honor your friend by learning acceptance, just as he should for you.
"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind." ~Albert Einstein
I tend to agree with Einstein although I substitute Spirituality in place of religion, but I think you get the point.
I dont know if what i wanna ask is related to
spirituality at all but what i wanna ask is that
when i listen to music not just any music but some which creates a feeling of euphoria i can feel my body release heat rather until the euphoria exists i can create this heat(alot of heat) on the palms of my hands i can almost feel something inside me flowing from my spine and back to my arms and then into my palms.
I've read something about chakras and energy as related to buddhist deciplines but idont really understand them if someone knows about this do tell. I can do this also when i am angry.
Dear Spirituality,
This is a common occurance for people who are open to it. Music is a source that is very close to the Spirit. If there a music that is opening a part of your Spirit, you should definately look into it and research. Music is often used as a tool for spiritual awakening. You may be discovering your Spirit's calling. You may be learning about some of your gifts that might entail healing. You can contact a Spiritual Counselor and/or Spiritual Life Coach. I am one, but there are many others. You should study of the Chakras and Energy work. My adivce that I give to all my clients is that if you truly feel drawn to discover this part about yourself and feel that you are led to do something wonderful with it, further your Spiritual Journey. You will be honoring yourself. You can contact me via e-mail if you are needing some professional advice.
My first boyfriend and I recently broke up. It's weird being single but I'm moving on. The problem is, there are absolutely no guys that I like. I'm in my senior year of highschool, have a job, lots of single friends and no guys have caught my eye! I know I should focus on me and be independent, but I'm used to being interested in many guys. How can I meet new guys and where? Should I even be looking for someone right now, or let someone find me?
Dear Not Even One Guy,
Keep in mind, it is important for a person to feel comfortable being on their own without having the distraction of a relationship. It is important to establish good friendships and you can gan a lot of wisdom by doing just that. You will have plenty of time in your life for getting serious in relationships, but it is important to enjoy the discovery of you. You are starting a new phase of your life...embrace everything that is has to offer you, that includes breathing room.
Dear Sedona,
Lately, I have been feeling stuck in my life and not really feeling like I am going anywhere. In the past, I had been okay with everything...but recently I am feeling like a failure in my own life. What is the empty feeling that I am experiencing?
Thank You,
Feeling Stuck
Hello Feeling Stuck,
Well first of all, I would like to commend you for acknowledging the feeling that you are experiencing of feeling empty and stuck. With you doing that process is actually a big step. Usually if we are not completing our spiritual path or intentions...we can get that empty feeling. In fact, that empty feeling can exist with us for quite awhile, but maybe we don't acknowledge it until something in our life makes us take a good long look at it. Maybe it's a person who is in our life, our work or maybe a loss of a family member. There can be numerous reasons for what catapults us to the recognition. Either way honor this process of accepting and don't fear to ask Why? Never feel ashamed for having this moment…in fact savor it and really digest the experience. After you go through this process you will be able to look back on it and know that you have become much wiser for the experience. Have you had an unfulfilled dream? Have you set goals in your life? Do you frequently meditate and/or pray? Has there been a big event that has happened in your life that might change you on your path? List the activities in your life that you think might be causing you to feel empty...then courageously ask why? Then honestly answer it, if you can't immediately...pray and meditate on the question and come back to it later. During this time journalizing is great therapy. So many answers will come to you if you take the time to sit quietly and write your thoughts. Seeking therapy on all levels...possibly from a therapist or Life Coach, but I offer you to think outside the box too...Spiritual Counselors and even Reiki Treatments. These services are also designed to help one on their journey as whole. I wish you blessings through this powerful awareness and experience. Know that if you want to know the answers...the truth of your spirit will be your freedom!
Recently my brother-inlaw moved in with myself and my husband. I just got my last child out and now I had the guilt trip laid on me, "he lost his job, he lost his apartment...." So I relent even though the guy gives me the creeps, (he tried to kiss me once) It's been 3 weeks and my husband just doesn't seem to understand that I can't stand his brother! He's not looking for a job he isn't paying rent, And now I'm picking up after 2 men and only one of them I gladly do for. He show's his brother a completely different side than what I see, Granted he's a little slow in the head but come on. How do I get my husband to see that having him here is wrecking our marriage! We've not had .... in 3 weeks!!!!! HELP before I go insane!
I'm 40 years old and have been married for 22 years to the same guy but this is pushing the love....
Relative Moving Out,
It is important that you fully communicate your concerns. If you are expecting your husband to be able to see the problems with his brother, you are setting yourself and your marriage up for problems. It is important that you don't consume yourself with frustration on the fact that the brother-in-law is still in your home. Instead, be proactive and take time to communicate with your husband your needs and your concerns. When communicating this and the concerns about the family member, make sure that there is no judgment made when speaking about your needs. If you feel that he is not understanding your request, then it may be beneficial to go to a counselor or mediator, so they can help the both of you to do what is best for you and your marriage. It is important that whatever decision is made concerning the brother-in-law, it needs to be a joint decision from you and your husband. Look at this situation as a chance for you and your husband to work together to do what is best for the family.
Ok here is is my question: I went to prom with this guy and hes totally amazing and we've been hanging out for a while. Well at the afterprom i got really tired and he got a little tipsy. (id been hearing that he wanted to ask me out from friends) well while i was almost asleep he softly kissed me a few times. i was so amazed! but then he later on in the night he whispered to me that he loves me, and he said u may not believe me but i do. I didnt say anything back and he seemed a little disappointed and hurt- i didnt knw whether to believe him- but i love him too!. Anyway when i asked him about it the next day he like changed his answer and said that he doesnt knw what love is and that saying i love you is like saying i like you. But i really want to knw if he loves me or not, b.c ive been hurt before and i dont want to express my feelings without being sure. He really seems like he loves me, he kisses everyone of my fingers and then my hands, he sung "your beautiful to me" lol, he calls and texts me just to say hey, he holds my hand all the time! and when he asked me out he announced it to the room of friends of ours! What am i supposed to think? and what are some signs he loves you?
Is it Love?,
The bottom line on this issue that I think you should know is that you should never modify how you feel just because someone else does not reciprocate the same feelings, especially concerning Love. Love has many layers and it isn't possible for any of us to fully understand the entirety of the layers until we become much older or have experienced it all. If you feel like you need to say you love him, then do it. Honor yourself and your feelings by speaking your Truth. It doesn't matter about the past and the hurt from the past, enjoy the NOW. That is what life is about, maybe if you can embrace the real way you feel you can be honest and open about your relationship and it can flourish into something extremely beautiful. Only then will you experience the many layers of Love. If he said it to you, honor the fact on how he felt in the moment. If you do not feel the same, you can always say thank you. When someone offers you a voice of Love, you should always be thankful that they took the time to express themselves in a vulnerable way. Maybe if you look at it that way, you can be free with your emotions. Love is not dependent on someone else’s actions...it just IS.
The people that know me think that I'm a nice person, but people who don't, think that I'm stuck up and a goody-goody. It's as if getting good grades is a crime! They assume that I can't have a good time, which is really not true. People won't really come up and speak to me (especially boys) because of this. The problem is, that none of my friends can tell me what it is that makes me appear stuck up at a first glance. How can I appear to be a more friendly and approachable person?
The more answers, the better!
(oh, I'm not really worried about the boys. I have a boyfriend. it's just a detail.)
Not Stuck-up,
Well look at this situation as an opportunity to look within and really figure out if you are truly representing your self correctly to others. Sometimes, we may appear to be cold or stand-offish because we don't fully engage with other people. Are you allowing yourself to be open with people you don't know that well? Smiling at others is a great way to let others know you are carefree and fun to be with. But most importantly, you need to be who "YOU" truly are. Not everyone is going to like you...if they did...that would be an issue. Maybe make a list of qualities you like about yourself...not including looks and items...more like personality traits, then go through each thing you listed and ask yourself...do I honestly portray that to strangers? If no...then become more mindful with how you are with others.
After the research you do on yourself...if you truly feel you are 100% portraying your "true" self, then be happy with that discovery too. There isn't anything wrong with being who YOU are. Be authentic, don’t make yourself into what others want you to be. If they have a problem with it, then that is an opportunity for them to discover the truth about themselves.
My best friend is so gorgeous she can get any guy she wants. But she always says how ugly she is. I can't help but get jelous. How can I stop from being jelous or at least hide it better? I'll rate.
Getting Everything,
I know that this issue can be frustrating. Firstly, your friend may only be verbalizing about her looks only to get attention or maybe she is afraid that you are jealous. Either way, if you are feeding her compliments...please stop...you are only feeding an unhealthy cycle. Just change the topic and focus on something positive. Secondly, it may help to recognize the difference between Jealousy and Envy. Jealousy is when desire things that another person has...and create a negative thoughts and feelings for that person. Envy, is wanting what the other person has, but not necessarily having negative thoughts for that person because you want them to be happy too. If you find yourself being truly jealous of your friend, you really need to make the choice to change your negative thoughts about her...it is not healthy for your relationship. If you are good friends...your friendship is more important than looks and getting guys. If she is truly a friend for you, you should be happy that she has what she wants. If you're just envious...then maybe figure out what you like about her and the things you want to be more like and learn from her. Friends are meant to learn from each other. If you keep your attitude positive, it will show in your own personality. Nobody likes a jealous person...and guys can see it a mile away. You may even find that there are some things she is envious about with you. Allow your good qualities to shine...there is a guy out there that will appreciate your authenticity.
I was with my boyfriend for a few months and every day I found myself more and more in love with him.
Well, out of the blue, the other day he dumps me. He tells me that his feelings have changed. He tells me he has been feeling this way for a while. And yet I just don't understand why he's doing this. He goes on about how I'm an amazing girlfriend and an amazing person and that "It's not you it's me". He always said that he wanted a nice girl, one that would be there for him and care about him. Well, here I am right infront of him and he lets me go.
I gave him the world on a silver platter.. and this is what I get in return.
I need to know, from a guys point of view why he's doing this. Hell, girls you can answer it too.
Also, what can I do to make myself happier? I haven't been happy in a long long time... =/
Final Blow,
I know that something like this can really hurt. If you think it is possible, ask your X-boyfriend if you can speak with him so you can have some closure concerning your relationship. Understand that when you enter into this option, you must be willing to hear what he has to say with an open heart and acceptance of the decision and just listen. If you do, then he will be honest and let you know why he wanted to have the relationship end. Doing this will help you understand why, so you can walk away wiser and have proper closure.
All too often, people have a tendency to put their feelings of happiness on other people. If you find yourself becoming depressed because someone else does not want you, then this is a "red flag" for yourself. You first need to happy with yourself...and know that his decision...is more about him than you. I know that may be hard to comprehend at first...but his "issues" is what makes his decisions. And your "issues" is what makes yours. Truly, no wants to give their heart to someone if the recipient is not appreciative. Your heart is worth more than throwing it away to someone who does not even appreciate its value.
If your X does not want to engage in any conversation to help you further understand the ending of your relationship, then he has "issues" that are not worth your time. Any man that is serious about a good relationship will always honor another person by giving them reasons why the relationship has to end.
ok....this is hard to talk about but im going to try to get it out best i can.im in college, and i really like this guy( ill call him rob) for a while. we never hooked up or anything, but talked dont the phone here and there.sometimes he use to joke around about things he wanted to do with me sexually,but i always just thought he was kidding because we were kinda friends.so this one day, i was really drunk and he called me to come over to his apartment. i was so excite because i really like him and he alwasy told me what a great girl i was and how he liked me alot. i thought one day he was really gunna get serious with me. Anyway, i went there and he told me he wanted me to listen to some song in his room, i went in and when i did his roomate was in ther and i kind aheard him tell him to leave, then he left rob locked the door. i started to get nervous because i wasnt really expeting to hook up with im or have sex, but i just went with it because i was so drunk. we end up starting to hook up and then it just got bad. we started to have sex, which was ok with me because i thought he really like me and it was going to be so great.it ended up be the most hurtful thing i have ever gone through, pyshcially and emotionally. he was having sex with me really rough, and it hurt really bad, i was very drunk but i managed to say your hurting me, so he would stop, but then he would just do the same thing again. he was throwing me around the bed like a rag doll, and i was crying inside.i said stop it hurts, but he took that as "stop for a sec then start again" this went on for a good 20 mintues till i fianlly made up some excuse to leave.when i left i cried the entire way home. i got home and i had bruises bewtween my legs already.i was so hurt because i though he like me and he treated me so terribly....but what i always wanted to know was...is that considered rape or something close to it???sorry so long, i just pushed it out of my mind for song long becauseit really screwed me up in the head to the point i cant trust guys anymore and talk of sex with a guy totally scares me...advice please what do you think??im i blowing this out of poportion? because i didnt exactly say or scream stop like i was being raped....i dunno please advice
Considered Rape,
I think it is important to for you to understand that if you feel horrible over the situation...you should talk to someone on a professional level like a counselor. Sometimes we get caught up on "labeling" what happened, when the bottom line...you felt disrespected by him and that is what you have to deal with. First and foremost before you do anything, I think a counselor will be able to help you assess how you really feel about the situation. Getting revenge or denial will not make you feel better about yourself. Only discovering your feelings in a safe and secure environment will allow you to heal through your pain. There may be a lot of problems that occurred during that night, but it is important to figure out how you feel and if you said to stop...it should have. Any respectful guy would have and asked what was wrong? Overall a counselor can help guide you with how you need to deal with your situation. Each "rape" case is different, but your emotional health is what is most important and a counselor can help you through this difficult time.
14/f
well, theres this girl and shes suposeed to be my "bestfriend." but shes everything but that. she lies to me all the time, she strives to be the center of attention, she tries to get in the way of me and my boyfriend. Also she embaresses me infront of all my friends/boyfriend and always leaves me out of plans. But shes always like omg i love you!! bestfriendsforever! but its all bs. but if i try to confront her with it, she turned all my friends againest me for two weeks! i dont know what to do anymore. i dont have any other friends besides that group of friends, and i cant take it. please help me!
14/f,
The best thing you can do is except who she is and understand that you can't change her. You don't have to be her best friend and you don't have to trust her either. In fact, it seems that you are fully aware of how she is...so use the wisdom of what you know about her and know your boundaries on how much you can trust her. I wouldn't waste my time trying to confront her, especially if you know she doesn't really care. Focus your attention on the friends that really are good to you and don't waste your efforts with those who don't respect you.
I don't want this to be long or panic-y, but I need some advice. My friend and I are 13. There is a 17-year old across the street who is 17 and a juvi. My parents think he is 18, but really isn't. We played basketball with let's call him C, and we got his number. We hung out with him and we lied about out ages and we said we were 15 and 16. We lied about where we go to school and everything, and now we're hanging out with him. I've been lying to my parents about where we going and everything, but here is the main problem. I'm going into 8th grade this fall, and getting on the bus (right in front of my house!) in the morning is no big, but when the bus drops us off, it's 3:50pm. Big problem, because C smokes, and has to go outside and smokes. What if he sees us? I really hate to lie to everyone around me, and the lies keep getting bigger. Should I be honest with C? My friend and I have been flirting big time with him, and that will ruin out friendship. And, the other problem, even though C is moving is September, I'll have started school, and his brothers go to my new school! What should I do as an overall result? Thanks so much!
Lies,
Well you are experiencing the direct result of lies. Look at this as an opportunity to learn the lesson about lies. I want to suggest to you to stop the chain of problems and start being honest of who you are and what you want. Besides the fact that being dishonest is actually not honorable to the person you are lying to...you are also being dishonorable to yourself most of all. You are creating more problems in your life due to the lies you are telling. You deserve better than what you are setting yourself up for. Think about it this way...you are compromising your integrity for someone else and the bottom line...you should never do that for anyone. If someone can't like you for who you really are, then they are not worth the time. In the long run, being honesty about who you are will set you up for more success and happiness in your life. Don’t beat yourself up over this issue, just start making the right choices for yourself. Choose the option that honors who your really are and be honest.
today, the kid i like said he was moving. so i started crying like crazy. (he already knows i like him) but he was just kidding. now i made an idiot out of myself and his friends will tell him and they'll laugh at me. he probably did to because he knew that i would cry. what should i do?
Laughing stock,
Well you should never feel ashamed for caring or having feelings for someone. Honor the best part of who you are...Your Heart! Don't allow yourself to become jaded just because someone may be insensitive. This could have been a way for the boy to find out if you really liked him or not. Sometimes guys do things like this to get attention. If he makes an issue about it, you may look at it this way...if he is still thinking about it, then he may have liked the fact that you cared enough for him but his ego may not allow him to express how he really feels, which is very unfortunate...consider yourself more in touch with your feelings...where you were willing to express yourself the healthy way. If he chooses to make fun of someone who was honest and caring, then he is the fool.
I just found out that my best friend's dad passed away today. I knew that he had some kind of cancer and she'd been visiting him in the hospital for some time now, I also know that she did NOT get along with him. I never met him because he lived in SC and her and her mom lived in NC. (they weren't divorced, it's actually kind of confusing) Anyway, I'm just not too sure what to say to her. We've been friends longer than I can remember and I know this must be tough for her. I've had some friends pass away, but the only family I've had pass away was my great grandmother and my sister- I was young when my great grandmother passed away and I wasn't even born yet when my sister passed away, so I don't know everything she's going through.
I was just wondering if anyone here lost a parent and what others said to you that was comforting.
I plan on telling here that I'm here for her no matter where I am or what time it is, and I will be there, but somehow that just doesn't seem like enough... I don't know, I'm just looking for some advice on what I can say and what would be comforting. Thanks in advance.
Best friend’s father,
Trust your intuition, it will guide in the right direction. It may not seem like enough, but in reality...it is. Sometimes our head gets in the way and wants to fix a problem for someone we care about, but the best way you can honor your friend is listening without judgment and allowing her to filter through her emotions. If her relationship with her father was not very happy, she will need to sort through her feelings and this can be a very healing journey for her. Having a friend to listen is the best gift of all. Allow your heart to guide you. She is very blessed to have a great friend that cares enough to help her through this difficult time.
What can I do for my cat while she is in heat. She has not been spayed.
Cat's in Heat,
I strongly recommend that you get her spayed. If you place her outside, know that she will probably get pregnant from other cats. Unless you are willing to be a responsible pet owner and help her raise her kittens, don't subject yourself and her to this issue. There are a lot of benefits to spaying. In addition, behavior will be much more level and less moody with her being spayed. Research all your options and talk with your veterinarian.
okay my boyfriend got out of this 9 month relationship ect.. and the break up was bad
he actaully hates the girl now
and like..i feel like hes not putting forth no effort in ours relationship like with him and his ex;s he was like perfect he called her ect.. got her things..
and with me he never calls
i always call him
and i get him things.
he got me a bear and hasnt gaven it to me yet i mean hello?
i feel like im putting forth more effort than him
how do i tell him?
No effort,
Well if you want this relationship to be fulfilling and happy for you, it is important to communicate your needs. You can express it by first finding out if there is something wrong or why he may not be feeling motivated to further the relationship. A lot of times women fear doing this is because of what their answer might be...but in reality do you really want to be with someone who doesn't care enough about your needs? No...there isn't a woman on this planet that wants a mediocre relationship...but sometimes we settle for it because we are afraid of speaking up. So speak your needs and then the ball is in his court...see if he wants to make a basket or just dribble.
More importantly you need to keep in mind is that he just got out of a long relationship and it ended badly...he may be wanting to take a break from the whole commitment thing and that is a big reason why men don't put effort in a relationship...how serious is he? When you communicate your needs you should make sure to find out...then you can decide if he is worth investing in, instead of being the "rebound".
Hi sedona,
i first just want to let you know that i browsed several columnists and yours was the most helpful looking and I really liked your answers to the other questions... so keep up the amazing work! :D
but onto my problem. i'm a 14 female, and my best friend (also female) told me yesterday that she loves me. not like ah i love you! but her exact words were "i have somethng really, really hard to tell you and I understand if you don't want to hang out with me after this. i like you. its more than that. i LOVE you. i've been trying to push it down for a while because you're not a guy, but i can't help that you're the most amazing person i've ever met." i don't know what to do. because i don't think differently of her and of course i still want to be her best friend which i told her... and i'm very open minded about sexual orientation... but i'm not in love with her. i love her, but just in the sense that she's changed my life and i couldn't live without her. not in a romantic way. i'm not sure what to do now, especially because (and here's where it gets confusing) i don't think she's really bisexual or lesbian or whatever... i know that makes no sense but you know how some people say sexual orientatoin is a spectrum and some people are totally straight or totally gay and anywhere in between? well, i don't think she lays very high on the spectrum.. and yet she likes me... but, well, i'm just very confused. anything i could say or do about this would be a HUGE help. thanks so much.
Best Friend Love,
This is a tough issue. Problem you are facing is: you want to remain honest and also honor your friendship. I sense that you are very wise in understanding the whole gay and lesbian perspective. I have found that all too often people get caught up in the labeling instead of their truth. Love does not have gender barriers.
I think when handling this situation, it might help to look at gender not being an issue for just the moment. Look at it as a friend fell in love with a friend. If this was a guy friend how would you handle it? Granted that situation can be a bit sticky too, but not having the complication of the same gender makes it a little easier. I would suggest you communicate to her that you respect her for being honest and open and in turn you want to do the same in being honest and open about your feelings. If this is a friendship you want to continue, it is important that she knows that you have made no judgments concerning the way she feels. Sometimes, as with any friendship with male or female, when this issue happens, it can change the whole level of friendship. Know that this is out of your control...if you communicate to her while you are honoring you and her...it is up to her to deal with what Life is offering her. You can be supportive if she needs further understanding. There could be a hundred reasons why she has fallen in love with you and that's not even including the sexual orientation. She may be at a pivotal time in her life where she may want to start exploring other options, if that is the case...this opportunity may help her on her journey of self discovery. Love has so many layers...it is not possible at a young age to fully understand all those layers...you have to experience them first. Heck, most of us as adults don't know all the layers...but through losing and experience a love...we start to get a better picture. This may be a growing moment for you both. She allowed herself to be vulnerable to you, just speak with honesty and love (on a caring level) and if she feels hurt or confused you might want to suggest someone for her to talk to. Just make sure you realize that you are NOT responsible for her feelings or her actions. You are responsible for yours. Your friendship may change…but if your friendship is meant to stand the test of time...you might be even better friends because you both could honor and respect one another under a uncomfortable circumstance.
hello sedona its good to see u here in spiritual category, as i was just looking for one.well i going through lot of frustration in life. reasons at 36 still no earning, no kid n wife also gone to her parents leaving me.hope she comes back ,but i do do need some help n advice for my uplift so i can also be a successful in life like others,thx hope to get a quick n relevant reply.........MANISH.
Hello Manish,
Firstly, I want to acknowledge that it's a good thing that you are looking for spiritual advice especially concerning extremely difficult and depressing matters. I want to strongly advise you to embrace this painful moment and allow it to tell you what you need to do to change your life. The more you resist, the more painful it will become. Even though you may feel all alone...I promise you are not. Whatever issues you may be dealing with at this very moment, your Higher Self or your Spirit can guide you through the problem. The problem most people get stuck with is being able to hear their Higher Self. Sometimes it takes almost extreme or tragic things to happen for us to finally get the message that we need to either change our lifestyle, behavior or the way we perceive life. At this time it is important to ask yourself all the questions that you may be afraid to answer…for example: Why am I not happy? It takes courage to face some of the most difficult questions. There are two sides to everyone…your Human side and your Spiritual side. All too often we allow our human side to guide our actions, when our Spirit holds the wisdom on how to deal with problems of life. All is not lost if you finally find yourself...your TRUE self. It's time to Honor the best part of who you are. It doesn't matter what you have done. What matters is what you change in your life now. I have a few suggestions…you may want to go to a traditional counselor to help you sort through feelings and behavior or you can seek out a spiritual counselor that can help you on a deeper level. Sometimes most of our pain resides on a much deeper level and we can't even see it until you go to someone that can help you see the bigger part of who you are. You may even need to do both especially if you have pain and trauma concerning the physical or mental. Either way, it's important you devote serious time for this. If you do this, you will be starting on your journey for healing, spiritual awareness and overall a happy content life because you will be bringing a balance in your life that is well needed. Finding oneself is a beautiful process. Please honor your truest self. You deserve to be happy. I am also available via e-mail if you have any further questions.
I got my first kiss from this guy the other day, and it was so weird. Are you supposed to kiss with your mouth open pretty wide? He like leaned it, got my upper lip, then got the skin between my nose and upper lip all wet. It was really gross and ackward, I haven't kissed much before, so I was wondering is that how your supposed to kiss? If not, please tell me how! ( And I already read the myjellybean.com thing so please don't link me to that! )
Kissing,
Actually, your expereince does sound a bit ackward. Sometimes the first kiss can be a bit ackward and it really depends on the style of the person. Not all kisses will be that messy and obnoxious. If you find that your partner is a little over the top for your style, pull back a bit and try to incorporate your style with the kiss. If the partner is not receptive, you may need to communicate what you like. There is no right or wrong way to kiss...it's all up to the individual. Remember kissing is just an expression of feelings...so everyone kisses a bit differently.