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The final blow to the heart...
I was with my boyfriend for a few months and every day I found myself more and more in love with him.
Well, out of the blue, the other day he dumps me. He tells me that his feelings have changed. He tells me he has been feeling this way for a while. And yet I just don't understand why he's doing this. He goes on about how I'm an amazing girlfriend and an amazing person and that "It's not you it's me". He always said that he wanted a nice girl, one that would be there for him and care about him. Well, here I am right infront of him and he lets me go.
I gave him the world on a silver platter.. and this is what I get in return.
I need to know, from a guys point of view why he's doing this. Hell, girls you can answer it too.
Also, what can I do to make myself happier? I haven't been happy in a long long time... =/
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you know i went through the EXACT same thing, except im a guy and my girlfriend dumped me. basically people dont really know what they want. they think they do, but when they get it they dont want it anymore. from my experiance, i can tell you he most likely found someone else, i know that hurts, and it hurt me too, and im sorry this happened to you.
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Its great that you can admit that your an amazing person and an amazing girlfriend. you've got self-esteem. guys dont understand how good they have it half the time. they want something.. and once they get it they dont even thing to cherish it or enjoy it.. they just let it go. dont let this bring you down.. he obviously isnt worth it if he would just let you go like that.. without even having a reason.
boys suck hunnie
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umm first of all you should have probubly handed it to him on a gold platter... much classier and about the happy thing all i can do is recomend LOTS OF SEX hell it works for me everytime im feelin low... good luck sweet heart i hope you find what your looking for and when you do bang the shit out of him... or her ;-) i dont judge later hun
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Final Blow,
I know that something like this can really hurt. If you think it is possible, ask your X-boyfriend if you can speak with him so you can have some closure concerning your relationship. Understand that when you enter into this option, you must be willing to hear what he has to say with an open heart and acceptance of the decision and just listen. If you do, then he will be honest and let you know why he wanted to have the relationship end. Doing this will help you understand why, so you can walk away wiser and have proper closure.
All too often, people have a tendency to put their feelings of happiness on other people. If you find yourself becoming depressed because someone else does not want you, then this is a "red flag" for yourself. You first need to happy with yourself...and know that his decision...is more about him than you. I know that may be hard to comprehend at first...but his "issues" is what makes his decisions. And your "issues" is what makes yours. Truly, no wants to give their heart to someone if the recipient is not appreciative. Your heart is worth more than throwing it away to someone who does not even appreciate its value.
If your X does not want to engage in any conversation to help you further understand the ending of your relationship, then he has "issues" that are not worth your time. Any man that is serious about a good relationship will always honor another person by giving them reasons why the relationship has to end.
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I'm sooo sorry. :[ That's the worst thing ever. It's possible that his feelings changed because he might have met another girl. I'm sure he really didn't mean to hurt you, it's not his fault his feelings just changed, you probably didn't do anything wrong at all if he said so. It's kinda hard to make yourself happier when you just got dumped by someone you really loved. When that happened to me, I hung out with my girl friends a lot because they always cheered me up. We would go shopping, watch movies, have sleepovers, stuff like that & it helped a lot. Hope you feel a lot better soon!
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There is a new book out by the author John Gray, "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus", I don't know what the name of it is and I've tried to do a search and can't find it. But, what he says is that men don't like having things handed to them on a silver platter. They like to have to work to get what they want. You know the conquering hero kind of thing. They want it to feel like some kind of conquest, like it was illusive and not w/in their reach yet they got it anyway. According to him if you make it too easy for a guy he'll not be satisfied and will look elsewhere. So as you can see that myth that people go for someone who treats them badly isn't all that much of a myth. My suggestion to you is act like you don't care that he broke up w/you. Immediately start seeing other guys and act like you don't care if your x exists or not. Be nice, of course, if you should run into him, but let him see you w/them. The problem here is if someone else becomes attached to you. They most likely will because you will be emotionally detatched because you will still have feelings for your x. What I'd suggest here is to keep telling the people you go out w/that you are dating other people right now and not committing to any relationship. That way you are being up front w/them about where you stand. Don't talk about your x when your w/them unless they specifically ask questions and enjoy yourself while on your dates. Who knows you may find someone else that may even be better than your x, and that would really drive him crazy. You see if you make it look as if he doesn't matter to you and that others do want you he may take a second look to see where he went wrong. I hope I gave you some food for thought here. I do hope everything works out for you I know how awful this feels and I wish I could make it better for you. But getting back out there and dating different people just might help you on the road to feeling better.
Also, happiness is a state of mind. The more you think happy thoughts and look for the good in things instead of the negative the more you will find yourself being happy.
Namaste!
LULABELLE
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Wow. I'm really sorry this happened. But maybe he met someone else or his feelings really truly did change. But, would you want to be with a guy you doesn't love you like you love him or would you rather wait awhile and be with a guy that give you the same love you give him. And its hard not to be sad when a guy you REALLY liked dumped you. But try to keep yourself busy so you won't think about him that much. Have a night with your girls that always cheers me up. Just try to keep your mind off the subject and try to find a new guy to keep your mind occupied with.
Hope I Helped ♥
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He may genuinly -sorry to put it this way- be sick of you. He really did have feelings for you at one point, but now he got what he wanted -a relationship- and is moving on out of boredom. It's hard to find the right person.
He could always be someone who likes not being able to have it more than actually attaining it. If you get what I mean.
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