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Best friend's dad died today...
I just found out that my best friend's dad passed away today. I knew that he had some kind of cancer and she'd been visiting him in the hospital for some time now, I also know that she did NOT get along with him. I never met him because he lived in SC and her and her mom lived in NC. (they weren't divorced, it's actually kind of confusing) Anyway, I'm just not too sure what to say to her. We've been friends longer than I can remember and I know this must be tough for her. I've had some friends pass away, but the only family I've had pass away was my great grandmother and my sister- I was young when my great grandmother passed away and I wasn't even born yet when my sister passed away, so I don't know everything she's going through.
I was just wondering if anyone here lost a parent and what others said to you that was comforting.
I plan on telling here that I'm here for her no matter where I am or what time it is, and I will be there, but somehow that just doesn't seem like enough... I don't know, I'm just looking for some advice on what I can say and what would be comforting. Thanks in advance.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
when someone passes away who you love you don't want pepole talking that much or pepole who are ask questions! all you want is someone to cry on someone to listen to you, someone to care for her!!!! she'll come to you and talk don't worry you'r doing the right think already!
signed indy
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One of my best friend's mothers died in a car accident last year. I knew it was really hard for her, but I wasn't sure what to say. You should know that everyone deals differently with grief. Your friend may want company and comforting words. On the other hand, she may want to be alone. But, because you've known each other for so long and are so close, you should be able to discuss with her what she's feeling like. Hope I helped,
TeeJay
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i undertsand how hard this can be. When my best friend's dad died last year, I didn't know what to say. Don't say: I know what you're going through. Because you don't. Also, don't ask her if she's ok because that will make her feel worse. I'd just say, "I'm so sorry and if you need to talk, I'm here." If she does decide to talk to you. Don't say a word while she's talking. Listen intently and then give her a hug. Hope this helps.
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This happened to one of my friends, 2 actually, i think you are on the right track saying im going to be here for you, if you ever need to call me or to talk im just a call away kinda thing. i think its best if you dont say oh im sorry blahddy blahddy blah because that just reminds them over and over and other people are going to do that. you are going to want to be right there, but she might just need a little space, just talk to her and see. =)
♥BLAiR
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Best friend’s father,
Trust your intuition, it will guide in the right direction. It may not seem like enough, but in reality...it is. Sometimes our head gets in the way and wants to fix a problem for someone we care about, but the best way you can honor your friend is listening without judgment and allowing her to filter through her emotions. If her relationship with her father was not very happy, she will need to sort through her feelings and this can be a very healing journey for her. Having a friend to listen is the best gift of all. Allow your heart to guide you. She is very blessed to have a great friend that cares enough to help her through this difficult time.
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No matter what you say to her the grief of her father is going to remain there. Let her know you are there for her to talk to. Comfort her. That is really all you can do to help make her feel better. Deaths are very hard to handle, and sorta cause a reality check on life. I hope i helped some.
*Caitlin*
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just always be there for her...because my dad just passed away today...soo just be there for that friend and just be a true friend to her...its hard having a dad die..TRUST ME.
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Tell her what you just said. "I'm here for you no matter where I am or what time it is, I'll be here. i wish i could say more because that doesn't seem like enough, but the only thing i really truley know about this situation is that I'm here for you no matter what."
It may not seem like enough, but i really think that's all you can say. Also try to subtley get her to tell you ALL of how she feels. Listen, empathize and try to help. That's what friends are for.
<3 Elle
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You just need to be there for her, theres not a lot to say, cry with her, and console her. She might not want to talk about anything, because if her relationship wasnt that great with her dad in the first place, how do you think she feels now that hes gone? Just be really gentle with her, and just sitting with her is something that can help so much. I lost a grandma and she was my best friend. It was so hard, but nothing helped what people said, because they all started saying the same thing, and it all started to mean nothing, it helped though when I just sat and cried with my mom and with my family. And when my friends were just by my side, so I think you just being there for her would help.
I think what your going to tell her is great, and it does feel like its not enough, but theres nothing you can say that will be enough. The fact that you care for her, is what she needs, she needs people around her, to help her.
But the biggest thing of all, be there for her.
you know? you do sound like a very good friend.
<33
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