"the bad touch"

by bloodhound gang

hi shelby, i'm elle. (:

you don't sound mean darling, you sound unhappy :[ and i want to make sure i don't sound mean to you, because i honestly just want to help. you seem stressed and it's hard for me to see anyone in pain.

so here goes my honest opinion/advice for you:

yeah, i totally agree with you that no one can say that you don't love him. "love" in general is really just a matter of opinion, and no one has any right to say that someone doesn't "love" someone else. however, i can also see why someone would think that you cannot love someone without really knowing them. image is abig part of all celebrity's jobs. to be successful they have to give their audiences an impression of themselves that may or may not be accurate. i can completely see how you could fall in love with his projected image though, he really does seem pretty amazing. i guess i just can understand both sides of the matter, and i'm sure you can too. i believe you that you love what you know and see of him, but i think it would ultimately be better for you if you'd look for a boy that you could actually be with. if nothing else, it would ease tensions between you and your annoyed family and peers, and it would probably take your mind off of daniel as well.

it may sound stupid and hard, but i promise it'll help if you give it a try.

hope this is helpful for you somehow, dear.

ugh stupid immature boys. well first off, don't worry about being flat chested right now-- it'll change, i swear. (and if not, there's always plastic surgery! [kiding])second, if your boyfriend dumps ya for that honey, hes not worth it and will probably regret it later.

as for dealing with the teasing i'd suggest trying not to let it get to you, if that's at all possible. but also if you're insecure about something it generally is good to make fun of yourself for it, that way people don't get as much satisfaction out of making fun of you and eventually stop completely.

for example: when i'm outside in the cold- my nose turns BRIGHT RED. it's really actually quite embarrassing. when we were forced to run outside in the cold for PE, i was sooo self conscious about it! but as soon as someone said "omg your nose is so red!" i laughed and said, "yup. OH MY GOD I'M JUST LIKE RUDOLF!" i then started singing "rudolf the red nosed raindeer" and everyone found it amusing and joined in. after that i knew no one would say anything about it, and they haven't.

lol you could even try something like saying, "hey guys, what do breakfast foods and i have in common?? i'm smooth like butter, sweet like syrup, and flat as a pancake!" - i just made that up on the spot, so i'm sure you could think of something better.


if you can make yourself comfortable with making fun of yourself, i think it'll make life in general a lot easier (:

hope this helped you dear.

elle.

oh god. we have waaay too much in common.

honey, i've been in a similar situation to the one you're in for about 2 years now and have no idea what to tell you. the guy i'd been practically in love with forever moved to new hampshire in 4th grade. we didn't talk for 3 years and then i found his email address and we talked for a long time. it lead up to an "i still love you" (from him) over aim, an emailed "i love you too."(from me) and then awkwardness ever after. now we don't talk much, and i like someone else and i'm sure he has a girlfriend or something. so i really don't know what to tell you, i guess just after seeing this question i felt too much empathy to not say anything to you.

i guess i'd just say listen to your heart. it's so cliche, but i believe that everything happens for a reason, so there's got to be a reason these long lost friends who live in new hampshire are in our lives.

if he says he likes you though, and the pain of a long distance relationship is worth it to you- i say go for it girl. you can make it work.

if this answer is good for nothing else, i thought it might be helpful to know that you're not alone (:

honey, i REALLY don't think he doesn't really like you because of you're weight. or atleast i REALLY hope not. my thinking is, if he didn't really like you, why would he still be dating you? but if that really is the case, then he's a shallow jerk and definitely NOT worth you're time. i promise-- you could do better.

in terms of ways to lose weight though, i'd suggest the good old fashion "eat right and exercise" method. buy foods with low fat content, cut back on things like soda and junk food, don't eat more than you need, drink lots of water, make sure you're diet is well balanced (eat things from all the food groups), take walks/run/swim/play a sport, if you have the option of walking or driving somewhere- walk. you don't even have to change you're daily routine too much for that to work. and you can still eat you're favorite foods. just remember, everything in moderation.

when you eat right and exercise, you not only look better, but you feel better too. (:


one other thing that i always tell people is that if you're going to change yourself-- make sure you're doing it for you, and no one else. seriously, anyone who doesn't appreciate you for who you are isn't worth your time.

hope i helped dear (:

It would have been helpful to know your eyecolor when picking a shadow but i tried to give you pretty versatile options. here's what i think you need:

-simple mascara. get a brand that's got a really detailed brush so your lashes are defined as individual eyelashes and not clumps of dark goopy crap. (i use 'lash exact' mascara, and it hardly clumps at all.)i think you should try black and/or the mixture of brown and black, both would compliment your dark hair well.

-black/dark blue/brown/any dark color that's very subtly noticeable eyeliner.
For starters, just use it on your bottom eyelid. apply it lightly on the place where your eyelashes meet up with the lower lid until you're satisfied with how it looks. if you think having more would look good, try putting some on your upper lid make sure to put it on evenly for both eyes.
once you're wearing this, i don't think you'll need much else. a deep shade of purple eyeshadow put on VERY LIGHTLY helps make anyone's eyes stand out.

lol i didn't know how to explain some things so i tried to draw it for you.

after you read the rest, click here, or copy the url into your browser:

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=4l5c9p2


----

other tips you might find helpful:

-if you don't NEED it, don't use it. the key to looking good with makeup on is to make sure it's noticeable but not too distracting from your natural features.

-When you put on the mascara, start with the middle lashes and brush them upward. then do the sides and brush them slightly outwards.

-if you put a little bit of white eyeshadow on (see picture) it makes you look more awake.

-always have makeup remover and cue-tips handy.

-when you wash off eye makeup you need to get it wet and then wipe it away with something dry, otherwise it just stays there.

it sounds like you fit the description of one of my best friends. the make up i described is similar to what she wears-- and looks fabulous in, i might add.-- she's 15, but i think what i suggested should be age appropriate (:

if you have any more questions let me know

(sorry if i'm pointing out the obvious.)

umm yeah lol it's hard to explain grinding over the internet, but i can try. ok so bend, sway, yeah thats the basic idea, but you really gotta make sure you're moving with the beat of the music or it can get awkward.

i think the most important thing though is to make sure that you follow through with the movement that feels right. meaning-- if you only bend and/or sway half way because you're afraid you're not doing it right, then you look self-conscious. (when you're dancing you want to look like you're outgoing and confident, even if you have no idea what you're doing.) in general, i think the best dancers are the ones who either don't care what everyone else thinks, know that everyone else is thinking they're amazing, or are too into the music to notice anyone else.


honey, please don't worry though. it's an intimidating thought-- beginning of last year i learned how-- i hope i'm not making it sound like there's only one good technique to do this, i'm just trying to give you ideas. maybe the best thing i can tell you is that there really isn't a "right way" to grind. everyone dances with their own personality, and that's why people love it so much

if you go out there and give it everything you've got i'm sure you'll be amazing (:

hope i helped?

if you have anymore questions please feel free to send me a message directly.

honestly i think there are only two ways to break out of your shell, one is to set your mind to it,or just find people you can be comfortable with. i must say, the second is much easier.

if you really want to "break out" though, teach yourself things like to talk louder, have good posture, be confident in your appearance, having an opinion that you're capable of sharing and not keeping your arms tucked in close to you. these are all signs of comfort and confidence. people will feel more comfortable around you if they sense your mutual comfort.

but please, if you do decide to change yourself, don't do it for boys. make sure you're doing it for yourself

i guess what i'm really saying is:

become more comfortable with who you are, and show other people who that is. if you are true to yourself other people (BOYS && girls) will notice and love you for it.

That is sooo mean! well there is always the possiblity that he isnt there. I think if you do slap him he will change, but not necicarily in a good way.
Hope this helped!!

wow... sounds like you've got a lot to deal with. um ok lets start with the bingeing, that cannot be healthy! if you are going to eat like that, try eating healthier foods. getting into good habbits while food doesnt affect your waistline is better in the long run. second, your ex bf sounds like a complete idiot! (no offense) If eating a lot was enough for him to dump you over, i am sure you can do much better! u maybe "shouldn't have" poured water on his head, but it sounds like he totally deserved it! if you liked that guy so much i don't think your gay, maybe bi-sexual. either way it's not anything to be ashamed of. I am very sorry your dog died, that surely didn't help this situation. Its good that you made TWO new bffs! (diamonds are a girls best friend ;) don't let your bff's other bff come between the two of you. it might be awkward, but i think you can handle it. Your parents divorce is going to be hard to cope with, but that's waht bffs are for. just remember that its not your fault. Nurture and love your pet rat either back to health or into a better place. that's all you can really do. I hope things work out for you!!

If you don't want to hurt him, you could stay loyal over the summer. But if that's too hard I think breaking up with him is less hurtful than cheating.

wow, he sounds really great. I have a friend sorta like that but im not in love with him. i can only imagine how hard thats gotta be. If he knows that you like him, maybe he isn't asking you out because he is scared it would ruin the friendship. (Yes, guys really do think about that. specially guys like that.) my bff, whos a guy, actually told me that when he was trying to figure out if he should ask out his current girl friend. I dont know that there is much you can do, other than tell him how u feel. results aren't garunteed with that one, but i think its worth a shot. instant message me if u need more help. SwtEllen2

That's sorta good because if his best friend likes you then he probably has a high opinion of you as well.
However, It's not a good situation because he wouldn't make the first move if his best friend likes you. I guess you could have someone ask him, but he might not give an honest answer either because he doesnt trust the person who asked or he wouldnt want his best friend to know. i would reccomend having some one who "isn't supposed to" tell him that they "think" you "might" like him and see his reaction.
if u need any more help, Instant Message me

Parties i like:

*(swimming)Pool Party

*Just like some place rented out w/ food and a DJ

*Murder mystery parties are also really fun!!

i can't think of anything else right now.... I'll add more later if i can think of something.

Good luck and happy birthday!

My cousin had a B- in math his senior year and he got into yale. Sorry, I'm only 14 so i don't know much else about this topic. Hope that helped some.

That's terrible. Don't worry about what they think. Your crush might joke about it with his friends, but i bet he really thinks it's sweet that you like him that much.

If you need help dealing with them later, Instant Message me. My screen name is in the advice collumn.

Tell her what you just said. "I'm here for you no matter where I am or what time it is, I'll be here. i wish i could say more because that doesn't seem like enough, but the only thing i really truley know about this situation is that I'm here for you no matter what."

It may not seem like enough, but i really think that's all you can say. Also try to subtley get her to tell you ALL of how she feels. Listen, empathize and try to help. That's what friends are for.

Don't use oil. The safest way to get a tan is to buy tinted lotion. It makes you darker gradually and protects your skin from harmful UV rays. I live in the city so i hardly ever get any real sun, I use neutrogena "sunless tanning lotion" there are seperate products for body and face. Trust me honey it works! just be careful when u put it on and follow the directions on the back of the tube.

oh my gosh, she needs to tell someone! My friend's mother died of breast cancer, the doctors said it may have been prevented if she had reported it earlier. Tell your friend that she needs to tell someone for her own safety! If she doesn't get help, i think you should. things could get really bad, or it may be nothing. You just can't know on your own.
Also, remind her that she is your best friend and you will always be there for her, no matter what.

1st. If you think your ugly, its more likely that other people will too. its ok to spend a little more time fixing urself up in the morning, but dont get obsessed. the best thing you can do to make urself look "better" is to show people that you feel good about yourself.
Don't worry too much about not having a boyfriend. i know exactly how your feeling, i went through something similar a couple months ago. i found that just having friends who are boys can take your mind off of ur lack of a boyfriend. and i got to be friends with a really great guy who asked me out after we knew eachother that well. i think in most cases, good friends who are boys tend to make the best boy friends.

2nd. sounds like she likes making you jealous. i dont think theres any better way to get her to stop than asking. if its possible after all the gloating, just try to be happy for her. whatever you do, don't let her get under your skin.

"An insomniac trying to make use of sleepless nights."

^^hahaha yeah that's just about what i'm doing on advicenators in a nutshell.


>>If you've got a question, I've got an honest answer. I'm here for anyone in need-- I feel like if I can truly help just one person, this won't have been a waste of time.

>>Please ask me questions (: i like feeling needed.

>>feel free to IM or email me, just make sure to tell me that you got my email or screen name from advicenators and i'll be glad to talk to you (:


>>That's all for now, loves!

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