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two best friends are DATING!
16/F.
My 2 best friends have been going out since the summer (don't worry, it's a guy/girl....) I'm really happy for them & all, but sometimes it gets annoying, because whenever I do get to spend time with either one of them (since they're constantly with each other), we always end up discussing the person's bf / gf. They are always asking, "So what does he/she say about me??" & I always end up having to spill the juicy, mushy details of all the "oh she/he's so hot" & all that. I feel less like their friend & more like their spy now! It really makes me feel used. So, my question is... is it wrong for me to want them / encourage them to break up (I know that seems kind of selfish, but....) or what am I supposed to do about this? I rate 5's for non-crap answers. ;)
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im in this situation alot and it bugs the crap outta me. one of my friends is always talking about her boyfriend and im thinking GOSH SHUT UP i dont want to hear about your boyfriend anymore! lol yeah i know sounds mean but as you know it does get annoying. what you should do is the next time you hang out with either or both of them you have to tell them how your feeling, tell them its okay if they ask you something once in awhile but not everytime. tell them you feel excluded. trust me the best thing you could do for this situation is talk to them it will make things better and if they are true friends they will understand. otherwise you could like roll your eyes everytime they say something haha sounds kinda mean but they might get a clue that your getting annoyed. well hope all goes well hun and if you need anything else let me know!
♥ Kristen
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No, I don't think it's selfish of you. Some couples aggrivate me when they do that stuff & I want them to break up, too, but if it's one of my friends I'd talk to them. Talk to both of your friends seperately & tell them how you feel & that you don't like being in the middle of their relationship because you feel used. They're best friends with you so they should understand how you feel.
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Yeah, it's selfish for you to want to try and break them up. Plus if you do and they find out about your little plot, there goes your two best friends as well.
If you're friends like you say you are, or used to be, TALK TO THEM. The next time they bring each other up in conversation with you, explain to them that it bothers you to have to be their in-between person. It's normal for couples to want to find out what their signifigant other is saying about them, so put yourself in their shoes. But explain to them how you feel and things should get better.
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What you should do is ask each of them individually to stop putting you in the middle. Tell them that it is bothering you. Let them know that you are their FRIEND and not their GO BETWEEN.
It is selfish for you to want them to break up, but it is not inherently wrong. They are acting like idiots and who can blame you. If they want to say mushy crap like that, tell them they need to say it to each other. It is normal to talk about your bf/gf to your friends, but what they are doing to you sounds annoying.
When you are hanging out with them and they start to talk about their partner, stop them. Tell them that you want to talk about you instead. Ha! Or anything else for that matter.
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Of course not! It`s completely normal. I know if I were in your situation, I`d be really pissed. My one friends like that, but only because she has this MAD crush on this kid named Terry, and she`ll make me talk to him on AIM, and she made me ask him if he had a girlfriend, and he said YES & she`s like what a liar!! He told me that he didn`t have a girlfriend, and she`d end up flipping out on him, and Terry wouldn`t talk to me anymore. =[ Although I`m a retard for even doing it, but ohh well. You need to tell them, like whenever they`re like "What did s/he say about me?" Just be like, nothing, nothing, nothing. Y`know? Just don`t tell them anything, maybe they`ll think it`s weird that their boy/girlfriend isn`t talking about them, and they might break up? =] Good luck.
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hey babe . i understand how you feel as if you are the spy, but trust me, they just want to hear the other person talk about them and then to find out from you . they are deffinetely not using you, if they are your best friends . it is deffinetely not the best idea to encourage your friends to break up, but its only something that naturally comes to you, and you cant help that . but just try to talk to them each normally next time they do this, or just simply tell them that you dont enjoy having to tell them what the other one said because it makes you feel used . once you get that out, im sure they would never do it again because they are your best friends .
xoo hope this helps !! ♥
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i understand were you coming from but it isnt a good idea to try to break them up because then you will be stuck in the middle of it and each of them wants to get over the other and the might even talk trash about each other to you and i dont think you want that. my suggestion is to tell them how you feel about not wanting to tell each other about what the other says. just be like if you want to know how he feels about you all you have to do is ask him and he will tell you himself not me. hope this helps you out.
*~Stephanie~*
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Don't try to break them up, because if all they can talk about it eachother they clearly really like eachother. And trust me, they're not trying to use you. They're your best firend and they would never, ever intentionally try to do that to them. Simply next time eacho of them bring it up let them know how you feel about it, and everything will work out. Promise.
♥ Help Now
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tell them how you feel and tell them that you feel like a spy and dont feel like a friend anymore and would apprieciate it if they would stop and find out for them selfs
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i dont think it's all that selfish of you to think of that. but this has happened to before and i'm not their close friends anymore. matter of fact me and the girl are fighting big time. and we just dont seem to get along. and they always hang out and none of my friends like it. i would sayy start talking to newer friends and hang out with them more and they might get jealous and want to hang out again.
orrr. you can just tell them not to talk about their gf/bf when they are with you cuz it feels like they are using you.
hope i helped?
Nicholee
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I understand how you feel, it's annoying when friends like each other/date. It's happened to me a lot.
Of course it's not wrong, it's natural but I don't think it's a very good idea.
Do your friends actually know how you feel about their relationship?
I suggest you get them alone, individually and say to them "Look, I really value you as a friend but I just want to spend some time with YOU where we don't talk about *name*. Is that okay?" They should accept this and shut up about the other person. If one or both of them get mad at you then give them a few days to cool off, they're probably going to take it slightly offensively and that's normal.
Good luck.
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