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Which Way Do I Go
I'm involoved with a married man and have been for two years now. We started out as just friends and the relatonship evolved.He's scared to leave his wife because they share two children together. I'm very much in love with him and want to be with him. Lately I've been feeling he's been wasting my time because he hasn't left her yet and I feel he never will. When I ask when will he leave or make a decision on leaving, he tells me he cant leave his kids with her and wants to know he could get full custody before he leaves. What should I do in this situatuion? HEEEELLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Do you honestly want to be the cause of a broken family? How would you feel if you were in his wife's shoes? Remember this: If he can cheat with you, he WILL cheat ON you. On second thought, maybe that's what you deserve. What goes around comes around.
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Why would he leave his wife when he can have his cake and eat it too? He has the best of both worlds right now. I would leave him if I were you. You will never be happy in a situation like this. If he hasn't left her in these two years, he's not going to leave her and as soon as you accept that, it will be easier for you to move on. I know it's easier said than done because you are in love with him. But the sooner you do it, the better off you are.
And next time, find an available man!!
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I don't mean to offend. I'm sure that when you began to get romantically involved with this man, you didn't intend for things to remain complicated. However. If he hasn't left his wife yet, it doesn't seem that he ever will. You might want to start asking yourself some questions about this man's character. Why was he willing to continue cheating on his wife? Would he cheat on you, too? Why is he so afraid to leave a woman he must not really love?
You have to think about yourself right now. Be honest. Is this really good for you, to become increasingly loyal to a man who doesn't even seem to be loyal to his wife, (or, if he indeed loves you) himself?
The fact that this man has children definately further complicates things, but shouldn't necessarily affect his decision about leaving his current wife. My suggestion is, if you really feel it is worth fighting, to tell him that you can't wait forever - he has to choose you, or his wife.
If he does end up staying with his wife, don't take it as an insult on your own character - take it as an opportunity to get out of a messy situation that was most likely going nowhere.
I hope things do work out.
-ronlina
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Don't get involved with a married man, they will do nothing but hurt you. Studies done found out that the mass majority of men will NOT leave their wife, there is a reason they married them and not someone else. Not to mention, they can replace you, but they can't replace the family dynamic they have right now.
It's better to totally cut off from this situation all together because he is not going to leave his wife for you...and why would you trust him if he did? He cheated on her, why not you?
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Ok.. first you should of never let the relationship evolve. This guy is MARRIED not only married, but WITH KIDS. Which should tell you, that even if the marriage is "rocky" now at one time it wasn't like that, no matter what "stories" he's told you.
As far as men getting full custody? He'd have to prove her completely unfit in the court of law, and having friends in this situation, where it looked SO CLEAR that they could prove her unfit, it rarely happens.
You shouldn't waste your time waiting for him to leave his wife, because if he wasn't going through a divorce when he met you, he probably never will. NOT only that.. but what happens if he does?
Can you live with yourself knowing that you ruined those childrens "family"? Do you think they'll ever respect you when they find out, and they will find out, that your the reason daddy left mommy??
Not only that, if this man is cheating on his wife, it's most likely out of boredom REGUARDLESS of what excuses he's told you. What happens if/when he leaves her, and gets with you? How long do you think it will last till he gets bored again.. and is cheating on you? How do you think you'd feel in the same situation?
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this may be hard, but he is married and has kids, are you really willing to destroy that? put yourself in his wifes position
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well first off what tha crap are you doing witha married man.. but you know you should take this into consdieration he could do the same thing to you as hes doing with his WIFE now.. you would jsut be his girlfriend or what not so yeah... and hes really shallow.. but idk what to tell you there... but uhh find someone AVALIBLE..... hope i helped lol
Halee
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A quote: "He's just not that into you if he's married (and/or other insane variations of being unavailable.)"
You're right. He will never leave his wife. At least not for you. If he really loved you, he would have done so all ready. Don't believe me? He's said it to your face. "He can't leave his kids."
I suspect his children are merely a convient excuse. A heart-wrenching, gut-twisting excuse...but an excuse just the same.
You don't want to have a relationship with this type of man anyway. He's cheating on his wife. That indicates...He's okay with being dishonest, he's okay with cheating on his wife, and he doesn't really care about his marriage. (What makes you think that it would be any different if you became his wife?) Besides, Mr.B made an excellent point in Chap. 10..."He has no real regard for you, because what you are getting from him is scraps-stolen time that's cloaked in shame."
Please. Run. Far. Far. Away. I know that it is hard to find that special someone. But this someone isn't special. Take your cue and find someone who is honest and available to love you back.
Wait...Before you look for someone else...The book that I just quoted..."He's Just Not That Into You," by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. Buy it. Read it. Live it. Love it. It is your dating Bible...
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you shouldnt have been messing around with him in the first place, whore.
<3audie
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then you should be a little more obvious about why you're asking questions like that, and A. it's not just the womans fault but the mans too, but most of the time it's the women who can stop the situation but they refuse because they are too stubborn. you should know what people think in situations like that, they think the woman is a slut and the guy is a retarded jackass with no feelings or morals!
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If this man wanted to leave his wife he would have done it on his own. He should not be forced into doing something he has no intention of doing. He finds you convenient and when you get tired of him, he will move on to some else. Move on, don't wait for someone that is capable of hurting his own family. You don't want to be next on his hit list do you?
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You have to think about what he is doing to his wife. If he does leave her to be with you do you think you have 100% confidence he won't then cheat on you as well? If so then go for it but if youre not then tell him as you are making a huge decision. good luck
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Run. Fast. In the opposite direction.
Your feelings are on the money, he will not leave her. They have a history together. You are just a diversion. You have been used. Move on before you get hurt even worse by this jerk.
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there's times like this when you have to just let go. Being with a man that is married is not in the category of a good relationship. there's too much conflict and its not easy to cope with. you should kno, you've been dealing with this for a while, ya? I kno that the guy has no idea what he is doing, and he is effecting you by holding on to you so dearly. If you feel like he's never going to leave his wife then why do you stay with him? i kno that most of this may sound really rude...but im not trying to make it sound that way, its just the truth.
stay cool girlie and good luck...
sammie
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How can you honestly be with a married man who has TWO CHILDREN? How can you possibly do that to his family? You are wasting your time and you are very very stupid and so is he. His wife does not deserve something as stupid and nasty as him. She deserves so much better. You two do deserve each other. You are both horrible, mean, selfish, just all around bad people.
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Homewrecker. If he is with his wife, why are you bothering? If he was in love with you, he deff. would of left his wife for you. They have two children together and obviously he cares about them. There is nothing really you can't do. I would suggest that you forget about him because it doesn't seem like he will leave his family.
-Brianna
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