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I hate myself and want to die. There is no way out. There is no definite answer to anything so how can you ever be right? Why do my friends always want to know what i am thinking when they dont care, they dont listen so why ask. Counsellors get PAID to listen to you. no one will remember me a year from my death. Anti depressants leave you numb and emotionless. Doctors dont issue sleeping pills coz I am a depressant but I cant SLEEP all i do is stare into senseless nothing seeing nothing but black shadows. The only releif is a razor blade and salt. Nothing will ever get better i will have this hopeless feeling of nothingness and desperation for somekind of peace of mind which i wont get. Things will always be the same and then ill die anyway. Im a selfish ugly fat bitch and the only way out is death. nothing can help me. im searching for a solution to get past my pathetic problems asides from counsellors, therapy, rehab, cutting, not cutting, anti depressants the only thing i can think of to a solution is death. no will will ever be able to stop this drowning feeling
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
yeah, well counsellors are shit. wow you sound like me. um, well yeah. i don't have much advice really because i'm kinda living my life through films and tv. which isn't exactly healthy, but whatever, i'm still alive right? um, i was wondering about the razor blade and salt? salt? oh and if you cut, has anyone noticed because if someone noticed then you could talk to them, i guess. if youre not talking to someone who is being paid, it might be easier. and you can't be invisible because , well i'v never met you but peole aare responding to this because they care, right?
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you migh wnt to hold on because some tim soon you will see the whole point of staying alive I know I did
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I really know how you feel although for different reasons and circumstances. I too have tried a lot of things and nothing seemed to help.
I know this may be a stupid question but do you WANT to get better? You don't have to BELIEVE that you will for something such as hypnotherapy to work? If things are really this bad and if they don't get better then you will commit suicide then you maybe it would be a viable option for you to try? Even if you don't believe it will work it has worked in many cases- maybe yours could be one of them? Okay so the hypnotherapist will be paid to help you but it could work.
For sleeping I can suggest a list of things that I'm sure you've tried and may not have any effect but they may be worth a try. Sometimes playing a CD before you go to sleep helps people if you play the same one each night so that it is associated with sleep. If not then try sleeping with nothing on. After 45mins get up and do something boring like some work or anything then go back to bed again. It is meant to 'punish' your body. You can also try lavender, camenoline (sp?) tea- even though it tastes disgusting- or even just a relaxing bath. Don't do anything excersise or anything requiring brain power an hour before you are due to go to bed.
I'm sorry if these seem simple and ineffective but it's all I can think of other than to buy something that you can get without a perscription from a chemist?
I can't help you with your perception of selfish, ugly and fat although I feel that these stem from your self hatred and once you manage to overcome that things will be seen differently. Maybe it could be an idea to treat yourself occasionally to treatments to make you feel better- eyebrows plucked, makeup applied, facial, etc? Excersise too is meant to help even if you only do a little and leaves you looking and feeling better.
You say "Nothing can help me" but do you really mean that? It seems that you asked for advice in hope that someone will give you something that can help. There are many therapies and options available for you; pyschotherapy, hypnotherapy, even yoga is meant to help. Try anything you can because unless you do you cannot say that nothing can help if you haven't tried everything. I know it may feel like you have and you are hurting and really want to give up, but you had the strength to post a question on here; you have the strength to try sometging more.
I hope some of this helped; I really feel for you and I hope that things improve. Take care xxxx
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okay..i just want to let you know that i felt the same way.. i thought i was fat and ugly . i thought nobody liked me . i didn't have a boyfriend, i couldn't get a boyfriend...i was in counseling . my friends were really my enemies they started rumors and didn't include me in anything. i cut myself..it was horrible. i can honestly say i know where your coming from.. just trust me nothing is bad enough to take your life away. it seems bad now but just trust me keep praying and always hope for the best. look at the glass as being half full instead of half empty..keep trying and always do the best you can in everything.. please if you want to talk more..feel free to send me an instant message on demj20 or email me at demj20@aol.com i really would like to talk to you and try to show you that someone cares..
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Why do you think you are an ugly fat bitch? The reason you feel like this is a build up of so many emotions and problems that never get sorted out and you just fall deeper and deeper into depression. You don't know me and I live on the other side of the world from you. If you want to tell me your problems I will listen. I promise it does help to talk
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Ok. Well, it seems your 'depression' isn't just an *every-now-and-again* thing. YOu have a sickness and medicine WILL help you. You need to get to a doctor and quick. Suicide is selfish in itself. People will miss you terribly, whether you believe it or not. Trust me. I've been where you are. You don't want to die. It's not worth it if there is help out there for you.
<3 Sh0w3rG3lBaby
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hmm well that wasnt really asking for advice now was it? Basicly all you acomplished just now is to talk down about yourself and state what can not be done. So maybe you should stop reflecting on bad things
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well you need to reavaluate yourself , its hard but its the only way to do it , think why do you want to die , why to you hate yourself , why cant you sleep , what will fix these problems and make you happy , where you always like this , what event caused this and how can you help yourself , because no one else will care if you dont . it isnt going to help asking yourself whats worth living , you need to make yourself woth living . only you can really stop the drowning no doctor or pill will do that , only you because you know why your drowning and you know how to save yourself .
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You can. You're the only one. The therapist is there only to help. If you don't lay it out there for them to see, they won't be able to help you. Sure, they get paid to listen, it's their job. They wouldn't have made it their living though if they didn't care about people. You need to take your therapy seriously if you want to benefit from it.Not all anti deppressants work for all people. They do not make you numb an emotionless, if they do you tell your doctor and get it changed to another until you find the right one for you. So, unless you want to help yourself you are not going to get better. The solution is in yourself. Open up to your doctors. If you don't have one, get one.
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do NOT kill yourself you should never ever do that! do not cut yourself either! that is not a way out TRUST ME! i learned the hard way! just dont let anything get to you just dont let anything get to you and ignore anything that any bitches ever say about you if u want to change how you are you are the only one who can do that so if u think you are fat dont eat fatty foods and go to the gym hope i helped!!
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death is NOT the answer. I've been down that road before and it just made thigs worse. i know it feels like there nothing you can do and it's never going to end but it does it just takes a little patience and time. just get some friends to listen to you that you can REALLY trust. i just have one best friend that i tell everything to and she helped me get through all the shit i was going through. and PLEASE DON'T cut it's just gonnan make things worse because if ppl see them they'll strat rumors about it and that will just make you feel worse about yourself. And don't think such negitive of yourself you are a beautiful brave young lady that it trying to seek help and get over her problems in life!!!!! And if people call you a fat ugly bitch, don't listen to them it'll just bring you down just remeber thins you know it's not true and just think of the good traits of yourself everyone has good traits! And remember this depression just lasts a little while but death it lasts forever. and it's just a waste of time suicide when you could have gotten better and you didn't have to die. It's just a really weak thing to do and just REALLY dumb!!! don't do it just try to write poetry it helped me or write in a journal. Whenever i have something i can't get off my mind i write about it on a peice of paper and it helps me forget about it and helps me move on! Or listen to happier music because if you listen to depressing stuff then i dout it will really help you....u know what i mean? But if you can't find somebody to listen to you or you just want to talk to me I'M HERE and would be HAPPTy to listen. oh and also one more thing councelors do care if they didn't why would they want to do it as a living i dout they would want to listen to peoples problems just for money if they totally hated it the hole point in haveing a career is loving it and enjoying doing it everyday. So think twice about concelors! they DO care!!!!
i hope i helped!!
MUCH LOVE!!!xoxoxox
luv,
~*cHeLlY*~
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OK just shut up. Right now. There are so many ways out. Killing yourself is gay and it's going to prove to all the people that put you down that you are the weak person they always thought you were. So don't kill yourself. And I know you won't. Now to get out of this depression mode start writing everything that makes you want to die down. Now either throw them away (which you really should do) or make poems/lyrics out of them. Talk to your parents. No mattter how much you hate it threapy is your best way out. Now you are either just an attention seeker or you are really going to kill yourself. But I have known a few people who have commited suicide. And on many people's myspace's who knew them it said "**** is my hero. Rest in peace" when it was that person's own damn fault that they are putting them through that misery. Now that person had a mental problem so it wasn't really their fault but still. Death is never the answer. Get on an anti-depressent pill or get some threapy. Just don't kill yourself. Because that means you are weak and only wanted attention. They will say things like *coughattentionseekercough*. Don't let them do that. I hope I helped! ♥ good luck
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I cried when I read that. You said that you thought counselors don't care about your problems, they just try to help because they get paid to do it. That's totally not true. If they hated listening to your problems and didn't care they wouldn't have picked that job in the first place. When you choose your job, you choose something you love to do. They love to help people and REALLY do care about your problems. Stop thinking such angry thoughts about yourself. There must be some good qualities you have. Just because someone thinks they're fat or ugly doesn't mean they still don't have other good qualities. Everybody is the way they are for a reason. If everyone was pretty and had a good figure, then there would be no diversity and everyone would be the same. Someone who's pretty and has a good body might not have as many talents or any other good traits as someone who's not so pretty. Even though you may not feel this way, beauty comes from within and I bet that you have a lot of beauty, but you're refusing to let it shine and all your thinking about is your bad qualities. Dieing is not the way to think or to succeed in your problems. If you feel like you have no one else to listen to please talk to me and leave messages in my inbox. I'm a really good listener and I don't get paid to help. Just please don't kill yourself, you CAN get through this!
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Well I know how you feel, a while ago I almost killed myself because life was treating my like hell. For me there was no way out of this, I mean I still do sometimes want to kill myself just not as often. You might want to keep a diary it may help and just express your feelings in there. Even though it may seem childish it will help. You may want to get some new friends and don't put yourself down by calling yourself, "selfish fat ugly bitch" even if you think that you are just don't do it. I know how you feel that cutting yourself with a razor helps but really it doesn't because you will have cuts and maybe scars there for your whole life so stop doing that because people will start teasing you about that and I'm guessing that you don't want that. But just try to think positive about everything even though it may be hard it will help.
hope i helped xoxoxoxox
~soccrchick~
plz rate me
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Hello,
I kind of know what you are talking about because I used to be depressed; the feeling was just the same as what you have written.
There is nothing anyone can do really, you just have to come out of this mess yourself. It isn't easy. What I found helpful was actually having someone listen to me while I just tell them whatever was bothering me. So, if you'd like someone to listen to you, don't hesitate to write to me. I really really want to help!
One last thing, PLEASE don't do anything stupid to yourself. You will come out of this, and you will look back and admire how brave you have been. Please think of the people that love you... Don't do anything stupid. PLEASE. Just remember, shit happens but life goes on. Everyone has a lot of shit going on in their life.
Bi bi
Lyle_chia
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no, thats definetly not the answer, if your not in counceling, get into cause that was scary to read. i have felt that way before, but not as deeply, you should really go to a councelor, or enen find a group of friends who WILL listen to you, then work something out with youyr family so that your life at home is relaxing, but DEFINETLY see someone, brcause you can't help yourself on your own because of ho2w far along you are with your thoughts and actions (cutting). if it was minor cuts, and no thinking of death then you could work it out on your own , but since its not, you need someone who will listen to you/
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