im a girl. im trying to lose 10 pounds. i was just wodering what some good foods that would help/allow me to do this are. is there anything that will make it go faster or help me out more? what foods should i stay away from and what food is good when trying to lose weight? thanks.
Heya,
You want to make sure you eat enough- don't go below 1600 calories, else the weight won't stay off.
I would say eat lots of fruit, yoghurt, etc as this stuff is healthy and also filling so you won't want to snack as much.
Have a treat a day- just a funsize chocolate bar or something as it will help with motivation. Maybe have it at the end of the day so you won't stray?
For small changes switch white bread to brown, buy low fat options, go diet on drinks, don't put so much sauce or butter on things, etc.
Excersise is a great combination to this. Even 20 sits ups a night can make a difference to the stomach area.
Good luck- hope this helps. If you are hungry a lot of the time and love food, why not try food optimising? Search for it on the web for ideas- slimming world is a great UK one.
Take care xxxx
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I have really bad panic attacks and they seem to be controling me. I am running out of ideas on what to do. I have had aniexty since I was 4 years old. I am 15 now. I just need to get my life back in order. I am just not sure how. If anyone has panic attacks, can you give me ideas to get over them?
I also I many mental issues. Like angoraphobia, O.C.D, Panic disorder, Aniexty, and alot of others. I have been to two mental hospitals and 50 or more doctors and consualors.. I am losing all hope on myself.
I take it you would have tried all the therapy such as CBT and others. What about hypnotherapy? I personally don't think a lot of it but some people really swear that it works and some of the ideas seem sound. It may help- anything is worth a go right?
Panic attacks...
It may help to be in a private space away from people. Maybe with a friend to hold your hand and talk to you if you want that.
A paper bag to breathe in a bit may help to steady your breath. Breathe in through your mouth and out through your nose.
Try counting- I never tried this personally but it just struck me as an idea.
Focussing on afterwards- something you are doing, however dull or boring as it makes you think that there is more than just this panic.
You've got to just try to tell yourself that you are okay, I guess. I don't know- anxiety attacks are horrid. You could try Bach's Rescue Remedy- it may help a little?
Sipping water when you can may also help.
What about other medications? If you can't be perscribed Snt John's Wart is sometimes used for anxiety or even more simple may be Omega 3 tablets.
I really feel for you. I hope things get better and this helped some. xxxx
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hi
i think i might have mild depression.
i have bn reading about it on the web and most of the symptons match up to wat im feeling so does this mean im depressed?
i just feel so lonely n isolated in my own little world and i cut my self sum times.. not so it bleeds though just enuf to make the pain disapear.
can some one please tell me wat to do because i dont want any one to know, especially my family because i dont exactly get on with them. my friends wont help either..
sorry its long.. i rate 5's
Hi,
It seems like you may be right. For one you were curious enough to read about it and see if you matched. This indicates something in itself. The way you have described yourself to feel also indicates this.
There are a number of things you can do:
You can seek out a counseller to talk through how you are feeling- is there one at school that is free? It may help to talk about your feelings to someone disconected from the situation and will prevent things from building up inside.
You can talk to an adult or someone you trust- mostly for the same reasons but you can get their input and opinion too.
You can talk to friends or family (I know you didn't want to do this but it is an option all the same). Sometimes you don't think they'll be much help but when it comes down to it family, especially, really care and will want to support and help you. If you are desperate and need help maybe write a letter to explain?
There are various phonelines. You'd have to search for these I'm afraid since I don't know any offhand and also don't know where you live (UK or US).
You can talk to a doctor- they may offer input and give you more options and refer you to a therapist who can help you get through this.
You can go to a chemist and ask for a herbal remady- this may help. Snt John's Wart is an option. It's for mild to moderate depression and is simply herbal so it can be brought without perscription. Research it for more information.
You can read a self help book (many are overrated but it still could be an idea).
A diary may help with your feelings to vent too.
You said that your family and friends wouldn't help as you don't get on with them well- do you think this could be part of the problem?
Maybe you need a new outlet- what about a drama, sport, writing, art, etc club to meet new people and also get you doing something you enjoy?
About cutting there's a suggestion about using an elastic band to twang on your wrist as opposed to cutting as it gives the pain without the scars- maybe this is an option for you?
I hope some of this helps. All the best xxxxxx
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my dads mom dies today, and the sad thing is i didnt cry. noone in my family has ever died while i was living. im ot sure if it didnt hit me yet, or i just wasnt close to her. to be honest she annoyed me alot, always asking questions, being nosy. she was an alchoholic too. i just felt bad for my dad and thats what made me saddest. i feel guilty because i cant remember times where i liked to be with her. what am i supposed to do? is it bad to feel that way? should i talk to my friends about it?
Talk to your friends if you want to and your family if you can and if they can too.
People react to death is different ways. Maybe you are in shock or it hasn't sunk in yet. I remember when my Grandad died it was shock for about two weeks before it hit me properly.
It's okay not to cry, just as it is okay to cry. People are all different. There is no right and wrong way to grieve.
It may be an idea to talk though to save it all building up inside.
Your family will also need a lot of support, especially your Dad. It's a hard time for everyone, but at least she is at peace.
If things really do get you down you could consider a bereavement counseller or phone a helpline such a criuse (if you're in the UK- search on google for the number or for other lines). It can help sometimes to talk to someone who is distanced from it all.
*hugs* I'm really sorry to hear your news. Take care xxxxxx
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What are boyshorts underwear? I really have no idea!
Boxer shorts are a form of boys underwear- they look like shorts really. Is this what you mean?
If you look on- sorry for the lack of taste with this website- www.marksandspencer.com (if this doesn't work search in google) you can see a picture to make it clearer?
I hope this is what you mean. Take care xxxxxx
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I get really good grades in school and stuff.. but lately "my attitude has changed" acording to my mom ... i've made lots of new friends this year becuz of being invloved in stuff.. sooo my mom thinks theyre putting a bad influence on me.. but they are totally not! theyre great friends and good people as well... my mom wants to switch my schools, it's not official but she wants to change me to an all GIRLS school.. i do not want to go... how do i change her mind???
thx,
my skools great.. but my mom thinks otherwise
You need to really try to find out WHY she thinks this. Ask her what changes she's noticed or what it is about the school that she doesn't like.
Maybe you've become more involved in boys- you can explain- though she probs knows and just may need to hear it- that this is a natural part of life and doesn't mean you are any less bothered about your grades and work. Likewise you need to tell her tha just because you've got new friends that you are still working hard.
Indicate your grades to back this up. You need to find out what the evidence is for your Mum's opinion. Maybe she just feels uncomfortable since you're going out more?
Tell her that you love her and enforce that you are happy at your school.
You could ask her to speak to a teacher about her concerns- it could put her off. Even if she does chose to do so since you are still doing well the chances are it could help you.
You just really need to talk to her and find out what she is thinking. Then tell her your own thoughts.
I hope this has helped some. Take care xxx
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15/f
I've been told i have possible moderate to severe depression. I'm not allowed to see a counsler or go on meds. My family does not believe in it. lately. i've been feeling horrible. like i wish i had the gun, wish i didnt have to wake up. i've talked to the school counsler a little. my friend took my down there. but i have trouble talking about this to an adult a lot. i never really believed i could have actual depression. just always thought i was a pansy. how can i stop getting so upset? Also, i havent been able to sleep a lot and the exhaustion is adding to my sorrow. i dont know what to do. now its affecting those i love most. even my bf is starting to notice things i wish he wouldnt. how can i talk to my parents about this? or the school counsler?
ps. i use to cut and attempt sucide but i got over that. but now im finding i want to start agian. n its hard not to fall back into the same old hole that it took me so long to get out of.
Who told you first of all? A doctor? I feel you may be right, but just think that just because one person says so it might not necessarily be the truth.
Who knows about this? The school counseller seems a good idea- it's good of your friend to go with you. It will take a while to trust them but maybe by talking it will help you- at least to some extent. They also will be able to tell you what is available for you. If you want they may be able to speak to your parents to try to help. It could benifit you as a third party can often convey things in a straightforward way which may help your parents to understand.
If the counseller doesn't/ you don't want them to talk to your parents, maybe a teacher or you could write a letter really explaning?
Do your parents know about your suicide attempt or cutting? I'm guessing not, and therefore telling them would be hard. You don't have to. You don't have to disclose anything you don't wish to.
See a doctor before speaking to your parents- can you? I'm not sure what if possible if you live in the US but I know you can in the UK. The doctor will keep your confidentiality and give you more solid advice and options.
Someone suggested Stn John's wart- I've tried this. It may be worth a try and will help you to get through this. It's available without perscription which is also good since you can simply buy it from a chemist or shop. Would you be willing to do this?
It's brilliant that you want to start again- I wish you the best of luck. Please don't think that if you do go backwards that it is failure and impossible to g forwards- sometimes going backwards is part of the healing process, however strange that seems.
Welldone too; you've been really brave so far and come through. You can do it. Maybe keeping a journal will help, writing, drama or any club you want- find some outlets. Really try.
Each day that you do wake up is an achievement- you should be really proud of yourself.
Do you know some helplines for if things get really bad? Ring them- you can find them on the internet depending on where you live.
There's also www.youth2youth.co.uk which offers an internet chat room for advice if you need it. You can also go on avariety of message boards such as www.healthboards.com and look for depression. or www.studentcenter.org which is a place for stories, poems, message boards, advice, games and many more.
Don't spend too long on the computer where possible though as you may only dwell on it. I wish you all the best and hope this helped. Let me know if there's anything else I can do. xxx
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I have extreme anxiety that comes every single day. I'm only 15 years old but its so intense. Does anyone know of anything that could help me?
Hi,
It could really help if you could post more information on your anxiety then I could give more solid advice.
A professional- counseller, doctor, etc may be a good idea as they can teach you ways to deal with this and also talking it through may help you with the situation that may be causing your anxiety, if any. There is also the option of medication if you really cannot deal with it anymore.
For anxiety attacks- there are many symptoms for these, such as hyperventalating, palipitations, sweaty palms, feeling naseous, intense fear, feeling like you're dying, etc- you need to ideally be in a quiet place if possible. Try to focuss on breathing. Think of afterwards- something you might be doing. Breathe in a paper bag if it helps. It may also help to be with a friend and have them talk to you and hold your hand; just to help calm you down.
Since you're at school, if you get anxiety attacks there it may be an idea to talk to someone incharge. Head of year? Tutor? I was given an exit card, which meant I could leave lessons without having to explain whenever I could feel an attack coming on. Although often they couldn't be predicted.
Is this the case with you?
Try to focuss on something else until the moment have passed. I don't really know what else to offer. I hope things get better and this helped some xxxx
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i have obsessive-compulsive disorder about death. in my mind i am always seeing people die like i see my dad die in a car accident and it's really scary. does anybody have any suggestions to help me think of something else. don't say "just stop thinking about it" because i can't just say "ok brain you know the drill start thinking about candy land and hot dudes hugging you. because that's not the way it works
Hey,
I thought I had OCD for a while so I can kind of understand some of what you might be going through.
Do you have therapy to help with this? Many people suffering with OCD really recomend CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) which works to change the way you think. I'm not totally sure how so you may wish to look it up.
I also got a lot of support from the following message boards:
www.healthboards.com There's an OCD board on there. Maybe it will be of some use to you- you could also ask about some more advice about this.
I know you can't just stop thinking about it. I am the same over something else. You just can't.
I'm not sure how you can ease it off. When you see this, try to take some time out, close your eyes and really try to relax. Put on some music or do something that requires concentration. Eg. Maths (even though you may hate it!). I know it may not work well, but I really don't know what to suggest.
Do your parents know? You say you have OCD so does that mean you're diagnosed? If so you can see the doctor fairly easily. If not you can still see a doctor and find out what the options are. I know medication is one but many recomend a combination of both that and therapy or you could opt just for therapy. I would recomend seeking some professional advice, even if you don't take it as it will give you more information on what is available for you.
There is also a lot of information on the internet- you could ask for useful sites on the message boards I gave you.
I hope this helps. Take care xxxx
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Oh so my friend cuts..but she hasnt in like 2 weeks. i knew about it since she started (shes been doing it for like 1 and a half months). so today this morning she told our other 2 friends, she didnt tell them before cuz she didnt want them to get mad. my friend (the cutter)told my other 2 friends NOT to tell anyone like a teacher or any body. but 1 did it anyway. and now my friend (the cutter) is all mad at the 1 girl who told. i dont know what to do. so what should i do. ive been supporting my friend (the cutter one) through all this. but what else should or can i do?
Hi,
I was kinda in the same position as your friend- I had a friend who told a teacher. I felt hurt and betrayed, which you would.
It's good that you are a good friend to this girl and she can talk and trust you.
Can you speak to the other girl, who told, and ask her to explain herself to your friend- either through a note or face to face? Does she understand about cutting? What type of person is this girl because your friend may need to hear that she did it because she was worried and wanted to get your friend help? Is that why?
There is the fact that since a teacher knows the teacher is legally bound to tell her parents- has this happened? You need to gently prepare your friend for this if it hasn't, although I should think the teacher would tell her beforehand or at least someone at the school would make her aware.
Speak to the teacher if it helps or encourage your friend to- go with her if she wants to or you think it could help.
The next thing is the reasons WHY she cuts- does she see a counseller as it can help to air her feelings. Her parents will be told- if they haven't already- that she cuts if she seeks a counseller at school, but this could be a good thing as they can be supportive, although admittedly shocked at first.
You just really need to keep doing what you are- being there for her and supporting her. Take care xxxxxx
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I hate myself and want to die. There is no way out. There is no definite answer to anything so how can you ever be right? Why do my friends always want to know what i am thinking when they dont care, they dont listen so why ask. Counsellors get PAID to listen to you. no one will remember me a year from my death. Anti depressants leave you numb and emotionless. Doctors dont issue sleeping pills coz I am a depressant but I cant SLEEP all i do is stare into senseless nothing seeing nothing but black shadows. The only releif is a razor blade and salt. Nothing will ever get better i will have this hopeless feeling of nothingness and desperation for somekind of peace of mind which i wont get. Things will always be the same and then ill die anyway. Im a selfish ugly fat bitch and the only way out is death. nothing can help me. im searching for a solution to get past my pathetic problems asides from counsellors, therapy, rehab, cutting, not cutting, anti depressants the only thing i can think of to a solution is death. no will will ever be able to stop this drowning feeling
I really know how you feel although for different reasons and circumstances. I too have tried a lot of things and nothing seemed to help.
I know this may be a stupid question but do you WANT to get better? You don't have to BELIEVE that you will for something such as hypnotherapy to work? If things are really this bad and if they don't get better then you will commit suicide then you maybe it would be a viable option for you to try? Even if you don't believe it will work it has worked in many cases- maybe yours could be one of them? Okay so the hypnotherapist will be paid to help you but it could work.
For sleeping I can suggest a list of things that I'm sure you've tried and may not have any effect but they may be worth a try. Sometimes playing a CD before you go to sleep helps people if you play the same one each night so that it is associated with sleep. If not then try sleeping with nothing on. After 45mins get up and do something boring like some work or anything then go back to bed again. It is meant to 'punish' your body. You can also try lavender, camenoline (sp?) tea- even though it tastes disgusting- or even just a relaxing bath. Don't do anything excersise or anything requiring brain power an hour before you are due to go to bed.
I'm sorry if these seem simple and ineffective but it's all I can think of other than to buy something that you can get without a perscription from a chemist?
I can't help you with your perception of selfish, ugly and fat although I feel that these stem from your self hatred and once you manage to overcome that things will be seen differently. Maybe it could be an idea to treat yourself occasionally to treatments to make you feel better- eyebrows plucked, makeup applied, facial, etc? Excersise too is meant to help even if you only do a little and leaves you looking and feeling better.
You say "Nothing can help me" but do you really mean that? It seems that you asked for advice in hope that someone will give you something that can help. There are many therapies and options available for you; pyschotherapy, hypnotherapy, even yoga is meant to help. Try anything you can because unless you do you cannot say that nothing can help if you haven't tried everything. I know it may feel like you have and you are hurting and really want to give up, but you had the strength to post a question on here; you have the strength to try sometging more.
I hope some of this helped; I really feel for you and I hope that things improve. Take care xxxx
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Ok here it goes. Me and my bff have been bestfriends for a little over a year. Yes we have our fights and such but one of us apologizes and we get over it. Well the other day i was having a crappy day and kind of took it out on her because usually i can trust her to not take it to the extreme or freak out. Well later on i had realized what i did and apologized for it and she went off saying i take her for granted and im selfish and all these other things. Well we didnt talk for the rest of the day and for most of today. But then she randomly IMed me like nothing had happend and like she hadnt said anything. I read her online journal and she said that she wasnt going to apologize because she didnt do or say anything wrong. But i think she did. maybe not as much what she said but how she said it. I dont know if i should tell her how i feel and talk with her about it risking her getting mad about it. or should i just hold it in and forget about it?
please help
If you hold it in and forget about it things could bubble up inside and cause a much larger row between you. In relationships it is much better to air your feelings. It seems as if she has some feelings to air herself.
I wouldn't do this over IM, writing or even the phone. I would speak to her face to face as this way things can't be taken so much the wrong way since you can see how the other person means what they say.
Do this in a peaceful place- not clustered and just try to talk it out. DON'T attack her as this will put her on the defensive. Ask her how she feels too. Tell her that you value your friendship and reinforce that you are sorry for how you acted before and say that you felt hurt by her words. Ask her why she said it? You may be offended but at least you can understand and work to make things better.
Don't leave it though; the chances are it will come up again if you do.
Good luck
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I'm a 15 year old girl. I am realy depressed like all the time. I moved to a new school and I'm finding it hard to make friends. My "friends" from my old school are not in my life anymore. I ended the friendship with my 2 "best friends" because they were just really horrible people. But I find that I am still really obsessed with them and miss them alot. They are both on my mind all the time. The thing is if I went back to them and they forgave me, well they were just so horrible when I was friends with them. (i.e.- they would hook up with the guys I was hooking up with and made it look like I was the bad person because I got upset over it) I don't know what to do. Please help!
I think you have answered this question for yourself although it hurts. You've said they are horrible people. Do you really want to be friends with people who put you through that? *hugs*
I moved schools this year too. I found you just have to talk to people- go out of your way to be nice. If things aren't working talk to a teacher who may be able to help- maybe by moving you forms so that you can meet more people? You just have to really work at it. It will take time and the friendship you have will take a while before they will equal the closeness that you have previously, but it will hopefully come. You are better off without them.
I hope things work out for you and this helps,
Take care xxx
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Ok, I have a serious problem. I have become very suicidal because of depression, and other things that I don't want to say. I called my boyfriend one night, telling him I wanted to kill myself, he called my parents and told them. My mom was too busy with her boyfriend, so she just said, "I'll just call her dad and have him check up on her." My dad came over and just brought me food, it was very nice of him, but he didn't know what to do, I am seeing a therapist. But I know that if I told her that I felt as if I were going to attempt this, she'd get me in a hospital. So, here are my questions.
How can I get my parents to take my very depressed feelings of dying seriously?
[I tried telling my mom, my exact words were, "I seriously want to die, everyone thinks its just a phase, but I seriouly want to be dead."] I got nothing out of this. I feel like my mom could care less. And as for my dad, he thinks I'm being ridiculous, and so does my sisters.
When you are in a hospital/mental institution, what exactly happens?
I fear that I will be trapped in there screaming with everyone ignoring me. So, if anyone could tell me as much as they can please, details.
This would really help me, thank you
Okay as someone who feels like you do, I may be able to help.
Firstly parents.. I would advise you work on one for the moment. If possible search somewhere such as google for suicide and parents and a site should come up with information for parents about how to help their teens. This could be benificial for your Mum/Dad or both- maybe show it to them? It could explain things. I'm not sure what other advice I could offer you- you could write a letter to them explaining how you feel since it would give you more time to think about what you want to say without any interuptions.
I've never been to a hospital or institution although I used to want to go there but when I spoke to my counseller or physchologist about how I wanted to die no one really did anything. If you live in the states I understand things may be different. It does seem that if a hospital is the option they give you it is something you are willing to try?
You will not be trapped in there screaming- it is much like a boarding school to some extent if you are a night patient as well. You will probably have group therapy, opertunities to speak to many people and work through what is going on. There will probably be time for school work too, from what I can gather. I also feel there would some kind of 'enjoyable' activities. It will not be like all the horror stories you have heard. People there will be trying to help you. For many people it does work. It may also be a chance to get medication if you want that and don't have it already? Telling your therapist could also lead to medication if you asked.
I feel for you- I hope that everything works out. Take care xxxx
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im quite well behaved but lately if i get up or figet which i always do i see the teachers writting it down. im well paranoid abouty it now. my freinds think that they are writing about the way i behave in my lessons. what do u fink they are doing? i just think im just a bit hyperactive but im not disruptive so what do you finks goin on? anyone else had this before? am i in trouble?
Hiya,
Whatever the teachers are doing it won't be for anything less than to help you. It may be because they think you have a problem that they want to help you with and they need to work out what this is.
If it was me I would ask my form tutor what was going on. I am sure they would give you a straight answer and if not I'd ask someone else who may know. You could even ask- though not infront of the class- after a lesson where you have noted that teacher writing something down and ask to see it. It may not go well but at least you could get a better idea of what is going on.
I don't think you are in trouble though- I think they just want to help you.
Take care xx
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I have a Maths exam tomorrow (nothing major but it does affect what group I will be put in next year and I don't wanna move away from my mates). I've been revising a (very) little through the week and kinda a lot today. I still have a lot to get through now and I'm starting to panic a bit. I have enough trouble concentrating as it is and when I panic I get even worse, because although I'll be concentrating I just won't take it in. Any tips to keep me on track and make what I'm reading through/working through examples of sink in? It's a test in Algebra if that helps.
xxx
When I have an exam I usually eat a banana in the morning since this contains potassium which helps with the brainpower. Avoid caffine too and make sure you have breakfast.
For the revision make sure you practice questions as these help it to sink in even more when you understand.
I always write a sheet of rough points that I'm not very clear on as a last miniute revision sheet for before the exam.
For the exam make sure you have a bottle of water with you. If you feel nervous just take a sip of this. If you don't understand something at first because you are panicing move on and then come back to it.
I'm sure you know most of this. Good luck xxxxx
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Well i used to dance when i was 4-7 but then i quit because of the teacher who used to pick on me. I REALLY wanna' dance, i might become a perfessional dancer if i will make it.. But i think its too late to start dancing? What is the best group to start if i start now and want to be a hip-hop dancer? Do i start hip-hop straight away or ballet or what? I'm so cunfussed plus mum thinks its a 5 minute thing for me.. she is like "No your go for 5 minutes and want to quit!" just because i done that will girl scouts, art club and other clubs but i know i want this.. I want it bad but she dont believe me! How can i make her believe me that i want it!!
Please answer my 2 or 3 questions i rate ***** 5 *****
Hiya,
Having never taken dance I don't know what it would be best to do first- however you can phone up a dance agency/ class teacher and enquire. I'm sure they would be able to give you a good answer. I feel that if you want to be a hip hop dancer then it may be an idea to start with that.
You can learn dancing at any age. The age at which dancing can make your joins more flexible is the age at which you've already done it, which is an advantage. It is never too late to start, though.
About your Mum- can you catch her when she's in a good mood? Maybe make her a coffee or tea and sit down with her and just try to explain. Tell her that if you don't keep it up for six months that you will pay her back the cost of the classes? You could offer to pay a bit yourself if it would persuade her?
You could mention the other classes and say that you didn't feel this way about those. If talking to her doesn't work you could write her a letter.
If the worst comes to the worst maybe you could ask for a dance club to be started at school if you can get enough people?
Best of luck xxx
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I'm really beginning to think that I'm paranoid. Many people say that I am but I'm really not sure. Everything scares me and I always think the worst of things. If someone doesn't call when they say they're going to, I get worried something happened. When my parents are late getting home from work and they don't call, I think they got into a car accident or something. Whenever my boyfriend calls and says "I want to talk to you" I start crying because I think he's going to break up with me. Yesterday I was hanging out after school with a few friends and we were just walking around town and I kept looking behind me because I always think that someone's following me. At night, if my dogs start to bark I keep thinking that someone is breaking into my house. I can never get sleep at night. I'm always tired and I can't focus in school. My grades are suffering as well as my relationship. I need help. I don't know what to do anymore.
Hi,
It sounds like you have a form of OCD, as one of the symptoms to this is excessive worrying. If not then I feel that it would be something similar.
You can recognise that you are being irrational, though, which is a big step to take.
Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Parents? Friends? Your boyfriend? Idealy you should try to seek some professional help and therapy to help stop this. It can be stopped. Some types of therapy can be really effective in cases like this.
I'm not sure what to suggest until you do this. I would advise telling yourself that you are being irrational, over and over because it may just sink in. I'm sorry if this is bad advice- I found it to be too when it was given to me over something else.
Since your grades are suffering is there a teacher you can talk to who might be able to put you in touch with someone who can help?
I think that since you have admitted that you need help that you owe it to yourself to get it. Please speak to someone. I hope things get better for you. Best of luck and I hope this helps,
Take care xxx
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ok well my freinds think im like feeling deprived because i havent cried in 3 years and i like never tell anyone what im feeling and stuff like that because i dont think that kinda stuff matters all that much. i guess i have just been playing soccer too much like my most used saying is suck it up and my knee cap is displaced and the same thing is wrong w/ my freind and she like cries all the time and she is haveing surgery done and i dont know if i should to or not because we have the same thing wrong but since im so used to not shareing my feelings i dont think it is all that bad so i dont know what to do and all my freinds think that something is wrong with me because i never tell them how i feel and i also hang out with the people at my school that cut themselves but that is only because im like trying to help them because one of them asked me to and so my other freinds are questioning me
any ways i got off the subject a couple of times but oh well just tell me if you think that there is anything i can do to help anything that i talked about
What you are feeling is very important. Everyone handles things differently and just because you don't cry and tell people when you are upset does not mean you are deprived. It seems, though, that your friends would like to talk to you more about how you are as they care about you and want to help you. Try to let them if you can.
About surgery can you talk to your parents and a doctor? I wouldn't decide solely because a friend was having it done as you do not know the implications of the proceedure or if it would definately apply for you. Book an appointment with your doctor to see if you want to although if you don't feel that is it that bad then maybe you don't want to go through with it. You need to work out if you want this done or not.
Try to talk to your friend about what she is going through. Doing this may lead you to open up too as you might be able to relate to her and can say simple things like, "I feel like that too". It may not be a lot but it is a start to opening up.
About your friends who cut- doing this is a way to vent and let out pent up emotions for many. Could you suggest counselling for them- is there a service available in your school? It may be an idea to suggest that they write down their feelings in a diary- and you too if you want to. It is briliant that you are trying to help them. If your friends are questioning you, ask your other friends- who cut- what you can say? Eg. is it okay to say that they cut and you're trying to help? It may not be though and if this is the case maybe you could just say you are helping them with something. Don't devote all your time to them, though. I understand that they are very emotional and going through a lot at the moment, but try not to neglect your other friends as these are important too.
I hope this helped. Take care xxx
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okay.. i was talking to my friend yesterday and she told me she thinks she might be pregnant.. At first i thought she was kidding but she was being serious. She said she doesn't want to tell anybody and would be too scared to get a pregnancy test or anything. She thinks she should be on birth control too. She's only 14! what can i do?.. Oh her boyfriend doesnt know she might be pregnant either :/
Hi,
You seem like a really good friend if she can tell you something like this. Although she may not want to do anything about it she may have to as if she is pregnant she will need to decide what she wants to do.
If she does not want to buy a pregnancy test, could you go with her or if it would make her feel more relaxed maybe you could go together to a chemist not nearby where you live incase someone recognises her? That might be what she is scared of.
She should tell her boyfriend- maybe you could try to advise her to, although I wouldn't suggest that you actually go and tell him yourself as this may cause resentment.
There are many helplines for young people in your friends situation. I don't know any off hand but there are phonelines you can call- pick up a magazine such a bliss or sugar (if you are in UK) or seventeen?? (if you are in the states). They may contain useful numbers.
If you know where your local family planning clinic is you could take your friend there where she can get a test done and have more advice. She can also get free condoms and advice on other contraceptives so that she can be more careful in future.
I hope this is of help to you and your friend. Good luck xxx
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