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ok, so this is the deal..i met this wonderful guy this summer, but he has a GF. Anyway, we spent 6 weeks together and we made out, held hand and all that (IT WAS WONDERFUL!) please dont tell me what i did was wrong, i know it was but i dont care cuz i love him, i really do. And he's told me that he loves me too. We made a deal yesterday (he's been with his GF for about 2 years, and he says he loves her too) he said, he doesnt want to cheat on her anymore cuz he loves her but if the feeling is right-something could happen between us this summer. And i was like: what do you mean? and he asnwered: well, im gonna have my place all to my self this summer soo..who knows what could happen between us!? ;) anyway, i live in japan and he lives in america so we only see eachother during the summer. Hmm, id ont really know what my question is..im just so cofused..i love him so much, and i miss him..i really dont give a damn about his GF (i know i sound like an evil person, but i really really really love him, i cant help i.)Is there anything i can do to get over him? should i even try to get over him? should i sleep with him? (he's 18 and im 14) what's gonna happen between us? ( sorry, i know you cant answer that question) he's just so amazing i dont know what to do. Alot of guys like me here in japan, but i dont like anyone of them im just soo stuck on joshua.
Help! please?- mariana
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Dear mariana,
No honey, I don't think you are evil. You are not the one cheating, He is the one with a GF, so he is the evil one. Mariana, you are such a long way away from each other. Even if you both loved each other equally, it will be a long time before you can be together. You have many years before you are able to be on your own. He is already a young man and has to start making decisions on what he is going to do with his life, and unless moving to JAPAN is one of his goals, I don;t think he has future plans for you, other than this summer. Now about this summer. Well I guess you two are going to be along together at some time or another, and I know that he will want to have sex with you. I would advise you not to do that. He is not going to love you. He is too young and too full of himself to think about being in love and in a committed relationship right now. (but that is normal for boys his age) He is not thinking about your feelings, he is thinking about what he feels in his pants. Please do everything in your power to not be alone with him. If you go to bed with him, and then never see him again, will be be hurt, will you be devastated, will you cry for the rest of the summer. I know that I would. Just try this. Be friends, but don't go to bed with him for the first few weeks. (no matter how much you miss him) If he really likes you and cares about your feelings, he will respect your wishes and wait. But if he turns and finds someone else who is more willing, then he was only thinking about himself, not you. Then please let him go.
Then there is the other thing, the age difference. In the US, it is illegal, in every state, for an 18 year old man, (and he is a man in the eyes of the law) to have sexual relations with a girl under 16. He should know this, but he may not care, and he will pay the price. He will be arrested and branded as a sex offender for the rest of his life. And it won't matter that you were willing...he can be arrested anyway. And if you parents find out, they can press charges. You don't say whether or not you will be with your parents this summer, but let me tell you this. It is not something you can hide from parents. If they care about you , they will be able to tell, and especially if he breaks your heart, and you are upset.
I know it is no fun to be good. The heart wants what it wants, but I promise you, you will regret it if you follow through with your plans.
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NO WAY! He is out to use you.He has a relationship of 2 yrs. He has told you he loves her. I know he told you the same, that alone should tell you something.
He has no intention of breaking up with girlfriend to date you...is going to have the place to himself this summer just means she'll be gone and he'll be horny.And you are 14 and he is 18 and he knows how to play you.I don't know where this great affair is supposed to take place, but in the U.S. what he is doing is statutory rape and will land his butt in jail.
I know you like the idea of being in love with this guy but he doesn't love you.If you see him you will get hurt like you can't believe.Will make what you feel now seem like nothing.Use your head please!
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dont sleep with him. i know you had fun over the one summer but its not worth it. if he loves his gf too then you're most likely just something to do when shes not there. i know its harsh but hes using you. break it off with him and try to find someone better for you. even if you think you love him dont let him end up breaking your heart.
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Okay honey. first of all DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM . god your only 14 do you know about HIV and STD's. they are so contagious. you could also get pregnant. THERE ARE JUST TO MANY RISKS ! thats all i have to say about this.
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Hey well i think that you are a little to young for him in the first place i mean im not trying to sound mean but sorry! And you should really give a damn about his girlfriend because imagine how you would feel if your boyfriend was doin that to you and he already cheated on her soo whats the point of not cheating on her anymore! im sorry but you are not in love and you should not sleep with him! but i really think you shouldn;t do that and anyways he lives in AMERICA and you live in JAPAN well sorry if i sounded mean in anyway i waas just trying to help! WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM THINK OF THE RISKS YOUR TAKING! well good luck! :)
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First off, you should not sleep with him, because he wont break up with his gf for you, so he'd only be using you. Secondly, there is a four year age difference. Do you really think you can keep your realtiopnship together when he's going to be four years ahead of you? Thirdly, it's not like you see him all that much. He lives on a whole different continent. Not to sound mean, but for all you know, if he does ever break up with his gf for you, he could still be seeing someone behind your back, and you wouldn't know it. No offense, because i would hope that doesn't happen to you, but he sounds kinda like thats what he would do, because he wants to sleep with you, but wont break up with his gf. It just takes time to get over some one. I don't know what you do in Japan, but just keep yourself busy, dont give yourself time to think about him.
I hope I helped and that you meet somebody better in Japan! :)
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Oh man, oh man. Girl, you can do so much better than him, trust me. He is not worth any of your time. Pretend your the girlfriend, how would you feel? Trust me, you don't love him. You THINK you love him, but you don't. My advice, stay as far away as possible. Don't sleep with him. Sorry to sound like an harsh asshole but you have to understand, I'm a guy and I know how guys are. He's 18, you're 14, it seems as if he's trying to get some. You're better than that, I mean what if you get pregnant? Summer love comes and goes, it happens to everyone, but I'm sure you WILL get over him and there's plenty more out there for you. If you want to talk more about this drop one in my inbox. Or IM me on AIM, my sn is one my column. I'd love to talk more about this. Hope this helped you Mariana. Good luck babe! Please rate! =]
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Mariana, what a pretty name..
Ok, I'm still not sure what your question was.. but ok. I cannot predict the future, so I can't tell you if something is going to happen... but I am going to give you a warning, Mariana. Do not do something with Joshua that you will regret later. Maybe that wasn't clear - Don't have sex with him. You'll later regret it if you do. Just, don't do that. How would you feel if you were a mom at fourteen? How would your parents react? Or grandparents? How about your friends? How would you continue with school if you're having to feed, change, rock, and care for a newborn? Though I do belive what you did was wrong (cheating with this guy), the blame is still on him. The guy is almost always the initiatior of these things, and he should know better than to cheat on his girlfriend if he loves her. So, don't feel too terrible about that. Seriously though, think this through, go through every possible thing that could happen. I mean EVERYTHING. Hurting, a baby, broken hearts, trouble with Joshua's girlfriend, grudges... and more!
Attempt to get over Joshua. I know it's hard... but you can do it. "Alot og guys like me here in japan, but i dont like anyone of them" Try and find the good qualites of each guy.. write them down on paper, be generous, something like this (using one of my guy friends - even though I don't like him, he's my "lab rat" for now)
-kind
-generous
-hard worker
-intelligent
-sense of humor
-fun to be with
-cute (lol!)
-Christian (this may not be important to you, but this is so, so, so important to me!)
-doesn't tease me (unless we're joking.. then it's no hard feelings.)
Ok, I think you're getting the idea. Be generous with your compliments on these guys.. then pick the one you like the best (or two or three of them) and start to hang out with them a little more. Start as friends, get to know them, talk to them on the computer, in person, whatever works for you. Then, you might find that you are starting to like one of them more and Joshua less. If that doesn't work, (and I don't like to say this... but..) write a list of things that are not-so-good about Joshua. Here's an example (not using the same guy, a different person, this time a girl..)
-rude at times
-can be pushy
-can be bossy
-foul language (this may not be a big deal to you, but it matters to me..)
-doesn't respect other's feelings
-has cheated on her boyfriend before
-doesn't feel guilty for cheating on her boyfriend
Ok, you're getting the idea. So, once you get all of the negative things there all at once, you might not like Joshua as much. Whenever you catch yourself thinking lustfully about Joshua, slap yourself (mentally or literally) and think about something totally different and off the wall. I think that's about all I can tell you... sorry. I hope it answers your question..
-FunnyCide
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okay, you asked alot of things, so i have alot of answers.
1. There are things you can do to get over him. Hang out with friends, go out with a guy back in japan, eat chocolate, just go on living life the way you normally would've
2. yes, you should try to get over him, because it sounds like (to me anyway) that he isn't going to be your bf, he just wants to sleep with you.
3. NO, you should not sleep with him, because doing so will probably not get him to be your bf, becasue he's already told you he doesn't want to break up w/ his gf, and besides, he is 4 years older than you
4. I can't say what is going to happen to you, but i can guess. If you do see him again (i don't know if you guys made plans, or you might accidently hopefully see him again), he might've moved on, or be happier w/ his gf. i mean, there's a chance that, over the year, he broke up with her, but i dont know
5. I realize you only had four questions, but i'm just going to summarize it, becasue it was really long (sorry about that). I don't think he's right for you. It seems he's just using you, and all he wants is too sleep with you! I mean, he's 4 years older than you! Do you really think he'd keep you as a gf while in college? (not to sound mean) Besides, he already has a gf. All you can really do is try to get over him. I hope i helped!
Oh, btw, i looove your name! It sounds really awesome! Mariana! Lol, just thought I'd tell you.
Hope everything works out for the best!
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im sorry, i dont really understand what the main question is. try refrasing it and ill be more than happy to help you!! :) xO ali
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Whoa, this is a lot to be going through for someone who is only 14. If you want to know the <b>truth</b>, it sounds as if this guy is only using you so he won't feel lonely in the summers while he is away from his girlfriend. And then, by him hinting at <b><i>if the feeling is right-something could happen between us</b></i> shows me that he only has one thing on his mind when it comes to you.
It is easy to say that you love someone in order for them to get you to do what they want. If he loves you, then he can prove it by the way he acts towards you. And that is <b>not</b> proving it by staying with his girlfriend. If he loves either one of you, then he will let one of you go. What he is doing is playing both sides, <b>and</b> having his cake and eating it too. If he wants to have sex with you, when the summer is over he will have sex with his girlfriend.
There are so many strikes against this relationship. <b>Number 01.</b> The distance that you two live apart can make for a very hard relationship, and <b>Number 02.</b> The age difference. You should take into consideration finding someone closer to where you live and your age, who can adore you for you and be with <b>only</b> you.
Please, don't sleep with him. Save your treasure for someone who is really deserving of it. Having sex is a big <b>emotional</b> deal, and it needs to be done with someone who can be there for you afterwards for <b>more</b> then six weeks.
I hope you make the right choice for yourself. Think long and hard, because in the end, the person's who feelings get hurt will be yours, not his. He has someone to go back home to.
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well sumthing liek that kinds happened 2 me like only geting to see the person in the summer, but if you love him that much and he loves you 2 u shouldn't get over him BUT . . his kinds using you as like a gurl in the summer thats wat it sounds like well good luck! =) x0x
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