|
humorist-workshop
I am 16/f and my boyfriedn and I are planning to get married when I am 18, My bf is 21, but my mother said she wont except this marriage as i am too young and have to finish my education first. I dont want to hurt my mother as she is very upset. But i am absolutely in love with my bf and so is he. We are totally sure about this marriage. What should I do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Just because you're in love doesn't mean you have to get married. Stay together while you're in school, get a place together and all that. But you don't have to get married right away. If your relationship is solid, then you should still be sure when you're out of school.
]
I've been married twice, so here's my take on marrying young........
If you marry before you both have an education, or EARNING POWER, you will struggle financially, and that is not very romantic, no matter how much you love each other. Being poor sucks, so ask yourself, how much does it cost to live in a decent area, have a car, buy food, pay utilities, furnish a home, etc. and then double or triple that, because that is what you will need to survive. If you marry, you have to consider yourself GROWN UPS, and that means no help from mom or dad to live. If this guy is good for a lifetime, then what's the hurry? Let your love stand the test of making it through your education.....it is the best wedding gift you can imagine!
Good luck...............Martita
]
Seriously, finish school first. There is a future ahead of you...You will need to support your family. You need a good education to get a well paying job. What's the rush to get married? You can still go on dates..a certificate is not going to change much at 18.
]
Why can't you wait? If you guys are ment to be together then you should be able to wait. Your mom is totally right on this one. You are to young. There's so many divorces now and days. If he does leave you then where will you go? You can't get a good job w.o a college education. Have you guys discussed kids, work and do you agree on everything? Even if you do still wait. You could move in together and just wait to actually be married when you're out of college. Please wait!
]
your faimly and education comes first so you should ask your bf to hold the marrige off untill your mother excepts it and if he wont then he isnt right for you and if you dissobay your mother she could be mad for life but i guess she could get over it?from kristen
]
i think you should listen to your mother on this after all she is your mother and you mother is always right. your education is so much more important and you have plenty of time to get married and spend the rest of your lives together just wait and be patient and finish your education and find out what you want to do in life for a career.
*BeSs*
]
Once your 18 you don't need your mother's permission. It must be painful for your mother to not accept the love of your life, but it is YOUR life. Hopefully, in time your mother will come to accept your relationship. Follow your heart and everything else will fall in to place.
]
Well. You will be 18 so she cannot tell you what to do. However I myself say wait a little bit longer. You may be sure now, but things can change. I think education should come first. So I agree with the mother in this case.
Hope I helped!
]
if you are totally sure about this marriage, then you guys can wait. What does it matter if you are only engaged while you are still finishing school, it's just a matter of time. Plus that way, once you are out of school, you'll have a job and can have the wedding designed to your tastes because you'll be able to foot the bill yourself.
You probably don't want to hear this, but you have a lot of growing up left to do, and may change your mind about your boyfriend. It's alot easier to call of an engagement than a marriage.
]
Hey! I'm kind of in the same boat you're in, except without the age difference. My boy is 18 and I'm 17, and we're technically engaged. We thought about getting married when I turned eighteen, but then realized neither of our parents would approve of such a young marriage. We decided to wait until I'm 20 or so, that way mom probably won't disapprove. (We're big on parent approvals.)
The way I see it, if you two are really serious about settling down and getting married, stay the way you are. Getting married can wait, if the relationship can last, and chances are, it may. ^_^
Get engaged, if you want, but make it a long engagement, and just do the whole ceremony when you have enough money, when you're older.
You said yourself that you two are really sure about this marriage - if you're that sure your relationship is that solid, let it wait a couple of years. Trust me, I know a couple of years is a long time, but still - if you don't want to hurt your mom, talk to your boyfriend about extending the plans until you're a little older and your mom approves a little more.
Then talk to your mom about what you suggested, and what he said.
That's what I'd do, anyway. (My mom doesn't actually know I'm engaged...heh...heh...)
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
]
heyy! i think thats totally awesome your inlove, and you have someone who returned your feelings. Your a very lucky girl! But to throw your free'ness away at such a young age? I think you should wait a little bit. You can still see eachother obiously, but wait a little while. Trust me, ull be glad you did in the end! hope i helped!
xoxo katie
]
You and your bf are the same age diffrence me and mine are. We met when i was 14 and he was 21, we've been together for four years now. Hes now 25 going on 26 this year and im 18 going on 19. We love each other alot and want to get married, WHEN we have enough money for a beautiful wedding with all our family and friends there. Firstly though, makes sure your relationship is good NOW before you decide this is really what you want. If there is things about him now that you dont like or he is controling at times, imagine what it will be like if your married.
Getting married wont make proublems you have now get better. Infact they'll get worse. SO make sure your sure about this. I think you two should live together first before you decide for sure, because thats when youll really know weather you two are good together. Me and my bf are mobing out together soon, and yes we have our fights but we can never stay mad at each other for along time. One of us always makes up with the other, how long have you two been together. I wouldnt say anything about marriage until youve been together for at least 2 years. I only say this because people are good at hiding things until the last minute, then the person you thought loved you turns out to be a complete jerk. Ill bet you money if your mom doesnt like that your together, that you havnt been together that long. This same thing happened with my mom, but weve been together for so long that shes now realized that this IS real. Lastly,
I want you to think about this tonight when you are alone, 50% of marriages end in divorce within their first year. Thats half girl!! Just take what ive said and think about that for the next few days. Feel free to e-mail me, if you wanna talk more. Darasweb@yahoo.com
]
I think that if you are totally sure about this marriage and that if you love eachother this much, than you love each other enough to wait on one another. I would start collage and set plans for your future and be happy for the fact that you already have someone to spend the rest of your life with and that you don't have to search for someone. Your mom just wants to make sure you are setted. Maybe you could get married after you;ve been through a few years of collage so that you can also make your mom happy? it's up to you though, I would pray about whatever you decide to do also...
Good luck!
]
I think you are a bit young to take a decision like that, but if you are totally sure then no one should stop you. But before you do get married think twice about the future which lies ahead of you. Talk to your mother and explain that you and your bf are in love with each other. Try to tell her that you truly love him and you are ready for this decision. and you also ready to live your life with him. I think yous hould go on with your education even after your education, so talk about that with your bf and your mother and they both should understand. Hope I helped.
]
More Questions: |