about

Hey Guys!!! Well...I am 14 Years old and I live in Redlands, California. I have alot of things going on in my life right now that I'm sure you guys do too!!! I really like helping people, and I've helped some of my friends out of situations that are pretty tough, and I am a very good listener. I also like to read alot, so It's ok to write me looooooong questions...It's all good with me. Well, I love you guys and I hope that I am a help to you!!! ByeSsSsSsSsSs!!!
PS: I try to answer your questions within a couple of days....you shouldn't have to wait very long for an answer, I PROMISE!!! :-P

advice

me and my bf have been together for a long time now. we haven't gone very far at all. he loves me and i love him but he is pressuring me into going further. i know for sure i don't want to because im not ready. im 14. i love him tho and i want to make him happy... what do i do? he respects me and everything so its not like he is like DO IT OR I WILL BREAK UP W/ YOU i can just tell he really wants to and he asks me if i will and stuff. sometimes he tries to do stuff and i tell him to stop but he keeps trying. later i talk to him about it and he says he jsut cant help it. ill rate

Well he sounds like the kind of guy who would understand...so maybe you just need to talk to him...because if you can't talk to him, then he is not really that good of a boyfriend. I was in the same situation once, and talking to him worked...you just have to make it sound serious, dont just mention it, talk about it!!!
-Hope I helped *Banna*

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At school I was in the locker room and I was taking a shower and then a brat came by whe nI got out and told me she wanted to show me something and I only had 5 minutes before the next class so I just was like fine so when I went to see what it was she got about 3 of her friends to take off my towel and pushed me out side with all the other people and then the classes where changing and the locker room was locked and every one say me naked I mean butt naked and now ever one makes fun of me saying I should be a striper and all

LoL, I have to admit that THAT is pretty darn funny. It may be embarassing now but at your highschool reunion, you will be laughing your ass off about it. Just have fun and laugh along with everybody else...trust me, if you act like you think it's funny, the taunting WILL end alot sooner. LoL! Good Luck!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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Okay I have this guy friend who is one if my best friend's boyfriend and i was talking to her today. She said she wanted to dump him and said she wants to be single again. I know he will be heartbroken. How do I help him through his hard times without completely dumping one of my best girlfriend's?

Well first of all tell your friend to keep the option of "friends" open between her soon-to-be-ex. boyfriend and her. Also if she does even break up with him, you don't have to dump one of your best girlfriends just to help her ex. through a hard time. You can still be her friend, just make sure you give them equal ammounts of support. When he needs to talk, be available. When she needs to talk, be available also. Just don't get too involved with it, or else you'll be accused of choosing "sides"...and that is NEVER a good thing. Good Luck!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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One of my best friends used to have this "thing" with this guy. They seemed perfect for each other. But he stopped talking to her and pretty much dumped her, even though they weren't dating. She still has really strong feelings for him and I was there for her throughout the entire time. Now, I'm beginning to like this guy, and well he likes me too. My friend suspects something is up and I don't know what to do because I don't want to hurt her in any way. But I think I really like this guy, and he really seems into me too, but I know my friend would be devastated if I started dating him. Like I said I don't know what to do. She's one of my best friends and I don't want to lose her as a friend. Do I tell her that I like him or not? What do I do about this guy? Do I pursue a relationship or what? I really need some advice! Please help!

*Confused*

I think that it would be safe to tell her, but you need to find out how she feels about all of this before ANYTHING happenes between you and this guy. You just need to decide who is more important...this guy, or your friend. And just because you might not be able to go out with this guy DOESN'T mean that you have to stop being friends with him. And who knows...maybe your friend will have no problem with you likeing him...just remember that talking to your friend FIRST is VERY important!!! Good Luck!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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ok well there is this guy and his name is Josh..we have liked each other a lot for a while..and he asked me out and of course i said yes..well we went out for a day then he broke up with me and claimed that he didnt want a girlfriend right now. Well after that he stopped talking to me. And i do not know why he did this because we only went out for a day and it shouldn't be awkward at all really!! and i want to know..how do i get him to talk to me? because im not the type to go up and talk to him if he doesnt want to talk to me! people say he still likes me and he didnt break up with me cuz he didnt like me or ne thing..he just didnt want his relationship with me to end like his other g/f's did (they went out for 9 months and then never talked after) so how do i get him to talk to me?

OMGSH!!! This sounds exactly like a situation between me and my friend(We used to be more than friends)!!! Well...here's how it all went down...I was pissed like no other mother, and I was constantly trying to find ways for him to notice me. He never talked to me, I never talked to him...and it was very uncomfortable whenever we were around eachother. Well, then summer came and we never talked to eachother even once during the whole summer. But one day he talks to me and says "can we start over?". So I said yes...of course, lol. And ever since then we have been really good friends. We even hang-out every once in a while. And do you know what he said to me? He said that he wanted to make up and he never ment to hurt me...he just didn't want it to get any worse, so really this guyfriend of yours is probably thinking that he wants to make up with you...he just probably thinks that you are way too mad at him to talk to him. Which is the only reason that my guyfriend didn't talk to me sooner. As much as we may think that guys are assholes...they really are just very confused and not looking to commit to anything major. They like to go with the flow, ya know? LoL. Anyways what I am trying to say is...don't feel bad like I did, because NOW YOU KNOW what is going on inside that little pea brain of his. Just stay away from him for a while and DONT act mad...make him miss you. Keep it simple and give him a cute little "look what you're missing out on" smile every once in a while!!! Eventually he will talk to you...If not, then take a risk and talk to HIM!!! Maybe he is more shy than you think. Remember...guys only TRY to be kool, they really suck...LoL! Just have fun with it, and don't try to hard...no one ever said that you had to play fair(wink wink)LoL, GOOD LUCK!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*
PS: I really want to know how this works out because it is really weird how similar your situation was to mine, so IM me sometime, my screenname is: HannaKL1800...LoL, my guyfriend is probably reading this and thinking I'm a bitch...LMAO!!! TTYL!!!

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Okay, me and my boyfriend have been going out for 3 weeks. We have gone out for the same amount of time before, and I was the one that broke it off. I didn't feel it was right to go out with him when I just wanted to be friends. Well now, I am not happy in our relationship... AGAIN. He is not supportive at all, and I am the kind of girl that likes the single life. I don't like spending time with him, and I don't feel like there is butterflies in my stomach at all when I see him. But I will feel bad for breaking up with him AGAIN, and everybody will be mad at me and call me a whore. Should I break up with him anyway, or stick with him and make myself happy?

Well, I don't think that it was a smart decision to go back out with him in the first place, BUT if you really want to break it off, I think that you should because if you don't now...it will only get worse. And for all of the people who will call you a whore...they are stupid and immature because obviously you are NOT a whore(unless you have done something bad in the past). But anyways, you probably won't even care about their opinions in a couple of years anyway...and everything eventually blows over. Just be honest with everybody and tell them(including your "unsupportive" boyfriend) the truth. it will all turn out ok in the end!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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For the past while i have been cutting myself. At first it was just scratches and then i started cutting deeper and deeper. I am really scared and I don't want to talk to my parents, they have enough to worry about, so is there anyway i can break the habit and just stop...and please don't answer if you are just going to poke fun at me and mock me. I don't need that. Only post if you can help me.

Hey...I think that I can help you because I am a former cutter. Here's what I did...I threw away all of my blades, knives, etc. Then I just tried to focus on all of the good things in my life. I made myself so busy with other things that if I even thought about cutting myself...I would have no spare time to do it. Also! Try not to listen to sad music, believe it or not, music affects your mood. Maybe you could listen to Christmas music...since the holidays are coming up anyway. You can also try talking to a trust worthy friend, or going online and joining support groups...like I did!!! Anyways, I really hope that this stuff works, and remember...everyone goes through hard times...don't let them get the best of you, BE STRONG!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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Hi, I'm a girl, freshman, and I am 14.
I have been dating my boyfriend, who is 15, for about a month and three weeks. It was perfect at first and just went down. I don't know what happened. We went to the movies and had a great time, but it got worse and he stopped talking to me. I wondered what was wrong. My friends told me that he was a crack head and shouldn't go out with him, but I liked him so I didn't listen. We had tons of fun. I got tons of pictures with me and him together. I also have his sweater at home. But recently he has had a flirting problem and flirted with every girl in front of me. I got mad and sad and ended up getting my friends to talk to him for me. My friends said he was going to break up with me. I was so sad. Then they said he wanted to dump me because I'm too immature. My friend said he was cheating on me, but I wouldn't believe it. He also made me cry by joking around with me saying he would break up with me a few times and he told like a lot of people he made me cry at school.
Today my life ended and he dumped me. I ended up crying my heart out. After school I talked to him and asked why. He said I acted like a baby. I was sad. Then this girl came up and asked if he was coming to her house. I was shocked! I couldn't believe it. The next thing I knew they were walking around holding hands like lovers. I yelled FU at them, but I don't think they heard it. Then I was so pissed off. My bus came. I got on it. I was so mad and started yelling FU and flipping off everyone out of the bus window and started crying to death; thinking about that girl and the good times we had together. Then I saw him walking with the girl far away. I flipped them off, but they didn't see. After that I cried so much on the bus for about an hour and I seriously almost threw-up.
This is the worst day of my life. I can't stop thinking about him because I still love him so much. He was so nice and sweet. I don't think I will ever get over him. Can someone please just give advice how I can get over him because I don't think I ever will and just thinking about him makes me cry and feel like I'm about to get sick even more...
Thanks so much for the help....

Omgsh!!! I'm so sorry...I know exactly how you feel!!! I felt the same way after my boyfriend broke up with me, and the truth is...you may not ever fully recover from this, but it gets better!!! You will start to focus on other things over time and it will not be as painfull, but it still sucks really bad. Try to get involved with after school activities...or just go out and party with your girls!!! That will help...eventually you will meet someone else, but for now just think about how he treated you, and realize that he acted like a real asshole. Just realize that the slut he is with now will probably leave him for another guy and he will come crawling back to you!!! If you want to you could try to be friends with him but he sounds like he's been an awfull person to you. You deserve better. But, it will all get better...as it turns out me and my ex. are really good friends, so maybe you will be too. Just remember to stand your ground and have some pride...don't go suck up to him!!! Well...GOOD LUCK, and I hope you feel better!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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ok i like this girl but she says im not good lookin enough ive been told by many people im a good looking guy, this is what i look like........ i have green eyes, mexican, 5'7 125 lbs and my friends tell( friends=girls) that i have a "damn good body"? ok so can yu help me?

Yes, I can help you. Obviously you have a good following since people(especially girls) say that you are good looking. In my opinion this girl is pretty shallow not to go out with you just because you aren't "Good-looking enough", BUT if you really like her there are some things that you can do. I know this sounds weird but your personality affects your overall look. Trust me I know this one guy who would be alot more attractive if he would just stop acting like a retard. So, try to find out what her "type" is and try your best to pull it off. You can also notice some of the guys that she flirts with and maybe style yourself like them, ya know? Like, clothes, hair, the way they act, etc...She may not be a keeper if she thinks like that, but it is YOUR choice. And if you still want her, then take my advice and GO FOR IT!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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i used to go out with this guy. he wasnt exactly a loser but some ppl thought he was. so i got really insecure about it and stupidly dumped him. this happened about 4 weeks ago. lately i have started to regret dumping him and i miss him so much!! should i tell him this?

You should defiantely tell him!!! I understand where you were coming from when you dumped him though...It is hard to deal with peer pressure, but think about it...In 10 years will you still care what those people think? Probably not. So the best thing to do is tell him the situation and hope that he understands. Do what makes YOU happy...not everyone else!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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okay so .. i broke up with this guy a little while ago. But when i see him i still think about him. My friends say i should go back out with him .. but i dont want to .. i dont think im the type of girl to have a boyfriend but i also like having one too. I dont know what i should do. I dont even know if he still likes me. I think i just still have left over feelings for him but i dont think i could go back out with him. I kinda want to .. but then again im talking to another boy .. so i dont know what to do ..

In my opinion, it sounds like you are doing o.k. without your ex. boyfriend. I think that you are paying a little too close attention to what your friends say when they tell you that you should go back out with him. You don't sound like you miss him TOO much. As for getting with some other guys...I say go for it!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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ok, im 14 and have loved this girl since i met her in 6th grade,,,,, we went out when i was in 7th near the end of the year. we lasted until the end of the first month of summer, the reason we had ended the realtionship is because she thought i cheated on her, which i didnt but her mind was made up. after that i didnt know what to do, i tried to date other girls but they werent the same. she is the love of mylife and will be until i die. she says she loves me but does not want a b/f. i left out one thing, after we broke up she went out with my best friend, i thought to myself shes doing it to get back at me. but b4 we went out they were together b4 i cam along. so as time went on she wanted to stop because it was me.him.me and him again. i would do anything to be with her but she doesnt want a b/f "right now". what should i do?

Well...I am a girl, and I know that when girls say that they "don't want a boyfriend", most of the time they actually mean it. I mean who knows maybe she does still like you and she's just taking some time off to clear her head. Another thing is that she most likely WAS trying to make you jealous when she went out with your friend. She probably figured that since he was an easy target anyway, she might as well make you jealous. Also! Since she thinks that you were cheating on her, maybe she's trying to make you REALLY want HER again, and not the other girl...even though there never really was another girl, she just thought that there was. Anyways what I'm really trying to say is, GIVE IT TIME. Girls NEED time. Trust me I know. If she really loves you like she says she does, she will come back for you. By the way, most girls mean it when they say that they love someone. Just live life normally, and try to stay friends with her...being friends will make her miss when you were more than friends!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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I was talkin to my boyfriend last night, and out of no where he said that he needed to tell me somthin in a real serious voice. I got kinda nervous since we've never realy been serious before, we're alwayse lauphing and having a good time. So he said- (remember when we first started talking and you asked me if i'm a virgin and i said yes.... well i'm not. I just said that because i didnt want it to be akward if i told you that soon. Then he said that everything else he has said to me has been true, and he felt bad that he hadnt told me before.) When he told me this i didnt know what to say.I feel really uncomfortable with it. I'm not going to do it with him, since i'm only 15 and i dont believe in that, but i dont want him to go off to some other girl when i say no. What should i do, because i really like this guy. He is one of the nicest people i have every met and i still really like him?!?!?!?!?! Please help

Well, in my opinion...he should've been honest with you in the first place. But, I can understand that he probably really likes you, and was MEGA nervous about telling you. Just be glad that he trusts you enough to tell you now. Better late than never I always say. As for going off and getting with another girl if you say no...If he is so nice then he wouldn't do that now would he??? You also need to know how many times he has had sex...after all, if you two stay together long enough to start thinking about sex, then you need to know how to be safe, and know your patners background. But, all in all, I'm sure that he meant well. You should probably tell him how you feel. Remember...TALKING IS A GOOD THING!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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I'm a 15/f and I haven't been interested in dating until recently this year. I'm starting to want to have a boyfriend really badly. Do you think the fact that I am so inexperienced in the "physical" side of love (ive kissed three people but I've never made out or gone beyond that) that no guys will date me. This is the only thing holding me back from dating. Also any tips on easy ways to say no to getting physical soon or telling guys that I've never made out that wont make me seem like to much of a loser?? Thanks!

First of all, the type of guys that care whether or not you have been physical before are NOT worth dating anyways. If you are looking for a RELYABLE boyfriend, then your all good because he shouldn't care. Second of all, the guys don't need to know that you've never made out before now do they(wink wink). As for saying no to getting physical...The word "NO" helps, lol, a trustworthy guy who RESPECTS you, will definately understand!!! Good Luck!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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Ok see there is this kid in one of my classes that I like and I know he like me because he is always flirting with!! And I want to ask him out but he is 2 of my friends Ex

Friends Come first definately. Although you could try talking to your friends to make the subject more open and less of a "nail biter". Who knows, maybe your friends will have no problem with it!!! But be careful, some guys just like to flirt without meaning anything, but otherwise, GO FOR IT GIRL!!! (just check with the friends...feelings are at risk!!!)
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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ok i have been going out with a girl for quite a while now. we love each other both very much and we know what "love" is...but we have been thinking...about sex. we have already did a couple of things with each other already but other than that we are both still virgins but we are thinking about sex and we are going to go ahead and try it soon possibly even tomorrow or within this week...is this moving too fast...since we know each other and talked it through? and what should i do about this since its our both first time having sex? (we are using protection by the way) thanks for listening

Well, I myself have been in this EXACT situation. Of course, I think that you need to consider the consequences. Obviously since you are both virgins, the risk of STD's is minor. But, think about it...not all protection is 100% guarenteed. You COULD get your girlfriend pregnant. And by the way...if you are THIS unsure...just wait, it's not your time. If you love this girl, you will think ahead and realize that this may be too soon. By the way, I don't know how old you are so I am just estimating, and being general with my answer. In the end this could be very stressful and lead to a break-up if feelings get hurt of expectations are not met. Be WISE!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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i was with my bf.. and i farted he hasnt really talking to me sense. whats he thinkin bout?

Oh...Wow, that is very unfortunate, but hey! Life goes on, all will pass......literally, lol. Don't worry about it. It was probably just as embarassing/akward for him as it was for you...He's probably just thinking that he wishes it never even happened...just like you!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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