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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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Ok so here goes ex and I just started being friends again awhile and we have decided to be friends with benefits because we are both not ready for a commitment right now but the problem is we both still live with our parents even though we are both adults and we don't have a lot of money to get hotel every time we want to have sex. I was thinking about asking him to go half on a hotel with me because I just don't feel comfortable doing it in a car or someplace else and I don't feel like it's right for us to do it in our parents home when there I have already said no to that idea. Any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
Wow, well no I don't have any suggestions. The only thing I can think of is adult children who get a separate place in the backyard, a little cottage, shed turned into a mini home, or an old rv and that way have some of the privacy a young adult much wants. If the property at your or his parents is big enough, it might be something to work toward. You might watch some videos of Tiny houses and start getting some ideas. Don't have any immediate solutions for you.
I need advice about meeting someone offline for the first time. I am also needing advice about what will be a first sexual encounter somewhat out of my comfort zone.
I am Linus 26M. I have been invited to an in person visit with a very fun and sexy 35F I have been flirting with online, by video, and by phone for the past 4 months. That does include some sexting and phone sex type stuff and some things she had me do for her on video. I am not going to be more specific. We are both single and just looking for a fun relationship with no preconceived idea about romance. This will be about a 3-hour drive for me so nothing too extreme or expensive as far as getting there and back. It would be for a 4-day weekend with me staying at her place.
It is maybe 20 percent social friend visit and 80 percent sexual adventure based on our shared fantasies. We have been driving ourselves crazy talking about all the hot things we want to do and there is no way we will be able to do it all but it is something we are both psyched about. It is mutual, but she seems on a mission to entice me and it is totally working.
I am stoked but I am also way nervous about expectations as she is into a lot of what I consider extreme kinky stuff and female dominating the male. I have mixed feelings but she insists it is not meant to be a demeaning thing for me but just a rush for her to be in charge. Her enthusiasm, positive feedback, and taunting my ego to prove my manhood blah blah is like overriding the fear factor at the moment. I am also very genuinely attracted to her and am eager to see if I can handle what she wants to try and impress her somehow. Again, I am not being super specific because I don’t think this is that kind of site.
I was so happy she agreed to video contact first because it confirmed (a) she is actually female, (b) she is the same person as her pics, (c) I am very much attracted to her (both on looks and attitude), and (d) she is attracted to me visually and otherwise. Part of the video was an inspection thing she wanted to do and I passed. I agreed to some temporary appearance changes. She definitely seems to like shy young guys eager to prove something. She keeps saying I would look good “all tied up.” LOL But at least there will be no catfish surprises.
She provided me a checklist of the kinky things she wants to try and let me mark them off as (a) eager to try, (b) willing to try but not so sure about it, and (c) no way in hell I am trying it. TBH, more than half the list was (c) and only about 10 items were (a) but she said that was plenty to have a lot of fun and she was not disappointed. She gave me a safe word and we set up a deal where I will call a friend every so many hours to confirm I am alive and not being tortured to death. Also, she suggested I set up my phone so I can be tracked by my safe person.
She also has some people who are checking on her during my visit to make sure I am not a freak turning the tables on her. We are literally meeting at a neutral place (Applebees) and she will decide if I seem safe enough to get to go home with her after dinner. Worst case, I buy her dinner, it is a busy, I stay in a hotel room by myself, and I drive home the next day. She has done this before with other guys so I am on notice this is not something exclusive. That is weird and exciting at the same time and part of me is wondering I will compare to other dudes she has dominated for sex.
So, am I like falling into some kind of horrible trap with a female Dahmer where I will never be heard from again? She has promised she is not a cannibal and will not do any “permanent damage.” I don’t get a scary vibe, but I also feel like I am in over my head in some ways. She says she loves the idea I am a “vanilla” guy and she gets to rock my world in new ways. So far I really enjoy earning her praise and even the affirmation “good boy.”
I know my critical thinking is being influenced by the sexy sales pitch I am getting and her positive comments on the body inspection. On the other hand, it seems to me like we are taking reasonable precautions. Should I just chill and enjoy whatever happens and do my best to meet her expectations? Or, is this the stupidest thing you ever heard about a desperately horny shy guy getting himself talked into doing? Feel free to take either side or just give advice. I want to do it but need genuine objective feedback.
Not sure what you were trying to convey at the beginning when I read "a first sexual encounter somewhat out of my comfort zone" So I am not sure if you meant this is your first dom-sub encounter or your first time having sex. I ask because I know there are people who sometimes have not ever had sex for the first time til much much later, so my answer will vary a little if thats the case. If its your first time ever, then I feel it may be a case of you biting off more than you can chew so to speak. You did mention feeling in over your head and half the check list not sounding good to you at all. I can understand how this must be an enticing thing to consider if you are a male who hasn't done this kind of thing before. There is enough excitement in just having a new partner for many. They seek that excited feeling at the beginning of a relationship, which I call new relationship energy and have read about the situation and think it may apply here. NRE is the same thing you feel about anything new to you, especially like when you were a kid and made your wants known and were sure that you would get it for Christmas or your Birthday, and just waiting for the day to unwrap the gift was so exciting.
So when you got exactly what you thought you wanted, it was great at first and you wanted to play with it every day but as time went on, you played less, and even less until you totally ignored it. I experienced that with toys and know the same applies in relationships. If the toy was just right for me, then I never tired of it. If it wasn't right for me, then I was excited due to the new experience of playing with it but it soon lost it's appeal. The same can happen in human relationships. This is something new for you no matter which way your beginning statement goes. Since this is for sex and not for a relationship, then once or twice is fine but soon after you or her may want another some one new and it ends. The worst that can happen is if there is no chemistry. Chemistry that I speak of is romantic sexual chemistry, important for most to have sex with a person. A persons looks come into the picture, yes. But there is more to chemistry than just what you see. After a divorce, I joined two online dating sites. I was not after what you want but there are plenty on line who state they look for just sex. So I speak out of experience when I say that on line chatting and on the phone can be so widely different than meeting in person. You can meet some one who looks like a model that just walked off the page of a magazine. I once met a man like that. Wow! I thought at first but after the one date, neither of us wanted to go further as we just didn't feel drawn to each other. I spent time on line, falling for a guys mind, how he thought and so on. That is what you currently have with her. The worst was when I arrived first at a restaurant to meet a guy and was at the front waiting. I did not recognize him from his photo, although the photo was of him. Some people are not photogenic. He looked okay but immediately I felt a lack of chemistry which to me was a lack of excitement as in "Oh gosh, this is my date? I am so lucky" and the feeling of butterflies or a quickened heart beat. He asked if I was who I am and I said yes. Without missing a beat he says, "This is not going to work out, is it " spoken more like a statement than a question. I verbally agreed, glad he felt the same but we sat and had our dinner anyways and in talking, confirmed we had many times in common except that chemistry was lacking. Chemistry isn't something you can make happen. It is there or isn't. And with on line relationships, it is not something you can tell because you have to be in person, face to face for it to happen. Even if just for sex, I can't see anything happening if you or both of you feel that when you first meet. You really won't know until the day. I got so hopeful a handful of times but when I met the guys, no chemistry and I actually wished on two occasions that there was chemistry cus the guy had everything in common with me and was very nice. However, when I met my 2nd husband this way, there was chemistry. So I am merely telling you that if you get together and you do not feel the chemistry because it feels like you are kissing your Mom like a female lover and that image can't be gotten rid of, it may be there is no chemistry, even if forcing sex to happen by pushing yourself to do the next step. I have felt that like at the end of a date, kissing the guy and it felt gross like kissing a male relative, not because he was bad at it, simply due to lack of chemistry. Also, you may like being the sub and her the dom. But if this is all she wants every time, just different versions of the dom thing, always telling you what to do, getting treated like a lap dog. Anything in life usually has to be experienced before you know if you like it or not.
There are some things you will know for sure but some times, a vocation, career type sounds great until in it and then you quit to do something else. Or trying different foods until you know whether you like something like Sushi or not for example. Same with sex. It is nice to have a partner also willing to try new things but in this case, it sounds like it is all about her when I read "it is not meant to be a demeaning thing for me but just a rush for her to be in charge." If she is pressing this so hard with you, it would seem that this is what gets her off. Will she be able to have 'vanilla' sex without the kinky stuff. Or maybe this kinky stuff is a first for her and til now she's only studied it in books or online and wants to experience it for real. If I let my mind wander, I also wonder if she is married or ever was, and her husband didn't like it, maybe divorced her over it when the dom thing and kinky sex was all she wanted. People will sometimes just decide on a whim to do something new. There are limits always to what a partner may want or be in the mood for on a particular day. As long as you are comfortable. If you get into the middle of this and inside your spirit is screaming to escape this, then use your safe word, tell her you've discovered this is not for you and then get up and leave to your hotel room and chalk this up as just one thing you learned that you do not like.
hello thank you again for helping me
but i wrote my letter in the living room when mum was watching telly so i was nervous she might see
and i wrote it all wrong because i am a girl not a boy , interesting to know boys need to learn about masturbating as well as girls though , do you want me to write if i dare try mums massager ?
just to say if it helped me ? my mums 31y btw but very shy
Since i am female, I can't say how well holding a massager against the penis will help with sensation. I will say its not a good idea to use some one elses 'Toy', because of body fluids that end up on it. If your Mom didn't take it to the bathroom to clean off, best not to use. Just assume its got her own body fluids on it IF it was used for pleasure and not to massage knotted muscles. Since you don't know, don't use and don't take it to use. Just ask her. Or better yet, if you really want to use a massager and are curious enough, you are probably going through puberty and thats when a person starts to have an interest in exploring sex first with yourself and later with a partner. I would hope she'd understand but then again, she probably had you when she was 17 or 18, a teenager, and if you show desire to start down the road of self exploration, it may scare her thinking you might get pregnant in a few years, like she did. So it depends on stuff like that, her shyness and such to want to even discuss. I used to be shy about speaking like that or even writing the word 'sex'. It doesn't bother me anymore and there are so many people who truly want to learn but feel they have no where to turn to ask their questions. There used to be tons of videos done by a Laci Green when she was 17, 18 and older. She did great research, made the videos short and with humor sometimes, gave you the lastest info on everything, how to have an orgasm, about the hymen, even about health dating relationships vs bad ones, period products and so on. Apparently she got into trouble at some point and I can't find her video main page anymore. When searching by her name, all that comes up is her book published recently called Sex Plus also. So if brave enough to talk to Mom, ask her for the book as well because she was very good, correct on the info and was making many of the videos on the behalf on 'Planned Parenthood' and another
group. If trying to convince her, let her know that this way, she doesn't have to explain anything to you. The info and videos from when she started are the best I know of so it doesn't matter to me what trouble she's gotten into or how she has changed now that she's around your Moms age. I even learned something in the video about period products, like the newer cup on the market so its worth a try if you want to learn facts that are for real, not guesses by your peers, or lies.
If at last resort, all you can do is masturbate, then do so. The clit is the most sensitive having more nerve endings in that little spot than a male has in his entire penis. So use some lube, or if none, sometimes one owns saliva works in a pinch and explore massaging yourself down there. Everyone is different a little in pressure or the speed of the touch or rubbing so experiment. This is handy and normal to do. It helps later when grown up and having a sex partner and you'll be able to tell them what to do to be successful in getting you to climax.
i started a new letter i couldnt add it to your reply
thank you for writing i thought it might be a to simple question for you
mums is called a massage wand
so maybe it is for her muscles and not what i was thinking she was doing with it
thank you for the help but i cant buy one , i was going to try mums when she goes out
would a toothbrush work , i dont want one that vibrates my teeth
can i ask about what you said about somebody using thier mouth ? not down there im guessing , i thought boys used something else if you know what i mean
I meant when older and you have a sex partner, oral sex is using your mouth on your partner and goes the same for both sexes or gay couples. I haven't heard of anything that works for guys as well as masturbating using their hand and a lubricant that is okay to use on sensitive skin. So now you come up against not having money for lube. If you choose to try that or have already but need lube, I guess you might ask your Dad if possible. He was your age once and can understand the need for lube. Lube with help you to not get sore or stretched or stressed skin while working at an orgasm.
is it normal for someone's mum to have a vibrator
I went into my mums room to wake her up but she had gone to the toilet and I saw it on her bed
can I ask how old you need to be so you can try one
thank you
Yes it is normal. Nothing strange about it though it may be hard to get your mind around the topic of parents and the fact they still enjoy sex. As long as a person has the working parts, no matter the age, even very senior citizens, people will either have sex partners, sex toys only or both. Shops where you can buy a vibrator are restricted to minors but I believe you can enter once you are an adult. That would mean asking your Mom to get you one which is embarrassing for most of us to ask. The only other option is for you to buy something that vibrates. Yes, there are body massagers for tense muscles and sometimes they have a tip small enough to work on your clitoris but these are expensive. What you can do is buy a battery run toothbrush, turn it on and use the back side, the non bristle side against your clit to stimulate. This is also a place that someday your partner will stimulate with hands or mouth for orgasms. Toothbrush is not to be used internally as a dildo.
Why do I get an erection when I swim in jeans. I like to swim in jeans
No one can have an answer for that, just the same as a guy who hiccups or sneezes when he is horny, erect yet or not. Yes, I have heard of this from girlfriends. Now long pants would be a drag to wear wt, but cutoff jeans I understand. If this is what you refer to, there has to be something that is stimulating you. If you have swim shorts and get erections in that too, it may have more to do with the temperature of the water. Perhaps colder water sets you off. Then again, if only with jean shorts, these fit tighter than swim trunks, so there could be more friction on the penis. Even if you don't ever figure out why, the issue of emerging from your swim with a hard on may not be something you wish others to see. You'll have to get clever, take off a pair of flip flops to leave at the shore line and quickly grab them to hold in what seems a natural way but they cover the crotch if you don't need to wear them. Or leave a towel close to waters edge. You can use the towel to seem to dry yourself off and then walk around holding your towel draped over an arm covering your crotch. You will have to take conscious note of whether water is going out (no problem) or coming in as it would come in and sandals could float away, or a towel get soaked.
There is a thing in my friend group right now where the girls are comparing their boyfriend’s size like a dare where everyone is supposed to personally measure it while their guy is having an erection. They have gotten very detailed with the rules on this. I am not even sure what the prize it. Probably nothing. There is no way to know if the person is telling the truth on their own guy. Only two of the boyfriends have cooperated so far. I know this is a stupid peer pressure thing, but I am thinking about asking my boyfriend. We have only been dating 4 weeks but he said he has been crushing on me for years so he might actually be willing to do it if I ask. He admitted he is eager to get physical but is naturally shy (which is why it took him so long to ask me out) and I told him I want to go slow on intimacy. Asking to see his boner so I can measure it is definitely not slow. Do you think he will understand it is a girl dare contest and not read into it that I want to have sex when I still want to wait on that? Should I just make up a number that is impressive or maybe average? Would he get his feelings hurt if he finds out about this later and I never asked to see and measure him? Do boys like getting measured or will he be nervous how he compares? I wonder how many girls are just going to lie. I thought about saying something stupid like my ruler was not long enough so I gave up and just blow it off like a joke. Or just ask him and trust what he tells me on his size? All this talk about how big the boys are down there does have me curious but I also understand that this is immature. He is one year younger than most of the guys but he is just as tall and has definitely gone through puberty. While I am only guessing from seeing him in some wet cotton shorts when he went swimming without a swimsuit, I think he might be decently sized but I have no idea really. I am embarrassed to post this but since it is secret identity just going to do it.
No need to be embarrassed, this is a valid question although not as common a one to be asked.
When contemplating whether it is okay to do a certain thing and then asking someone older hopefully, outside of your friend group, you are doing the right thing, bouncing your idea off a sounding board before doing, just in case you didn't think of something.
So I am happy to be the one you bounce this idea off of. First I have to ask if you have considered how this will affect him? Its easy to have the answer because we will reverse the situation. Let say the guys all want to know what the length of a females vagina is once aroused and he would insert a dildo, mark how far it went in, pull it out and measure and tell the boys.
It is far more likely, that in reverse, a guy would be bragging about his girls boobs. Woman tend to worry if their weight and boobs will be attractive to a guy. So even though a person call tell a lot by looking at a womans top and how she fills it, it is awkward feeling to have a bunch of guys speaking out about and discussing your breasts. I guarantee that being human, the males feel the same way about a bunch of woman discussing and frowning or laughing at his size, its not just awkward but humiliating, embarrassing.
I discovered a site on the net, meant to train people that breast and nipple size and shapes differ greatly (same as penis's) and there is no such thing as a bad or wrong size, just a lot of different ones. The size, the shape and the nipples can all vary, and then how it hangs on a female can differ. That leads to a lot of possible shapes and sizes. Women on this breast site have taken pics of boobs only and told their story, which says her bf loves her almost non existent breasts, her differently sized ones. There are men who love the really big ones that will rest in her lap one day, never to return upwards, men who love their ladys really big nipples and so on. You get the picture. So in the end, all sizes are natural, no fillers or boob jobs, just what the natural sizes are and thats quite a range, more differences even than in penis shapes and sizes according to what I have seen. If your guy is much like you, you can probably tell how he would like this idea. To me, its not important information. Why know the size of other penis's if the one that is for you, is good enough for you. Thats like me knowing how often all men shave, before I consider whom I will marry, based on how often he has to shave? How fast whiskers grow will also vary. How important is that really when what is really important is how the man treats his lady and how she treats him. Telling personal stuff on him, even if he agreed is not going to show you that you have a guy worth being with long term. It is a silly dare by people who may not be able to look down the road to possible consequences to their actions, or importance to anything they do.
Now you also say he's a bf of 4 weeks. I guess you feel that may mean something. 4 weeks is nothing in the end compared to relationships lasting 5 yrs, 10, or a life time. I am glad I married the 2nd time around to man who wouldn't kiss and tell about it. Many people, men especially have been portrayed as good guys when they say they don't kiss and tell, meaning they won't share any details on their genitalia, or hers, or how its like to kiss or how sex is. See, depending on who your partner is, sex is likely to differ some, not in the mechanics of position, in and out, kissing and when o ne kisses, that is all mechanics so everyone has a chance to impress someone. Its when the connection is so perfect, the chemistry is real strong, then what another man did and got no orgasm out of their lady, doesn't affect the perfect chemistry where the same stuff seems to be over the top wonderful. So it really is a useless thing to partake in and teaches you nothing useful as it is a situation in which there are so many variables all the way around that doing what your friends have planned, is totally useless. If you want, just smile and say, "I don't kiss and tell." I hope in the future you also find some friends who are more intellectual but still fun.
This is embarrassing thing to talk about but it is all anonymus so I guess that makes it ok. I am sorry if I say anything not okay but seems like people talk a lot on this site about a lot of things and it is very open and they talk about very personal stuff and about sex also. I have questions about masturbation. I am a guy and I am now a teenager and I have puberty and all that.
1. A girl I know was texting me and wanting to know personal stuff like what do I do and touch myself and how often and it was exciting to be asked but weird and I do not know her well enough to know if she would share what I say and plus I don’t want to be a freakzoid so I told her I don’t think I should talk about that with girls and she said something rude so I am happy I did not share my information no matter how fun it was she was talking about sex stuff. What do y ou think on that one? I am pretty sure that was smart play.
2. Is there like too much like too many times in a row or too many times over total to ejaculate. I can wait sometimes for days if I keep busy with other stuff and like try to do normal things not about sex but when I do start it is like one time is never enough and I like it so much I just want to make it happen again and fun to see how many times I can do it without breaks but I think I am like addicted to fun it feels and like go for hours instead of falling asleep and just make myself hard over and over and like imagine I have to do it to prove myself I can keep going.
3. I made a thing with bubble wrap like for packing stuff and tape that fits like perfect over my erection and I use baby oil and it is better than anything and I just never want to stop it sometimes. But I ran out of the baby oil and used tanning oil. Is using that stuff ok? I don’t want to do something stupid. I mean both are for the skin right?
4. Will doing this a lot help me be better at real sex or will it mess me up because I am doing it too much? Should I take breaks like a week off or does that even matter? If I time myself and to not lose control longer and longer would that be good for having sex wit a girl someday? Like training for sports? Or is that just dumb.
5. I don’t need to know details but do girls do stuff to themselves a lot or just sometimes or is this mainly a guy thing?
6. I know it is like a sin but also normal and there is like probably some balance but I think I am a little obsessed and it is worse on days when a girl talks to me or flirts and I sort of go overboard thinking about it. Will I probably calm down if I get a girlfriend or will it just get worse?
Those are all my questions. If this not posted I will know I asked too much or said things too detailed or sexual. I apologize for doing that if I did and will not be mad about it.
Signed, TANNER
as a joke cause of the sun tan oil :-)
I am female but have a husband to ask on some of these. The first one, if a girl or a guy or anyone wants to know answers to sexual questions about yourself, they are in the wrong. It is not polite to ask. Heck, I even never asked when older and dating after a divorce. I am remarried and it never occurred to me to ask. I do of course discuss lots of things very candidly and let guys know what my boundaries are. I feel dating is for after you have met someone and you both seem to like each other and want more time with the other, so you date to learn more in depth about the person. Once you are close to someone, and if old enough in your state to consent to sex, then talking to that partner about what you like and don't like is normal, in fact, a crucial part ford any couple who are sexual together. I am with 2nd husband almost 13 years and we always find something to say.The mood of ones body may change and all of a sudden, what was feeling good before can feel like the skin is rubbed raw or i have felt some pinching feelings and I explain that it felt good at first but changed. This helps encourage ones partner that you enjoy what they do but when either says stop or uses a safe word between you, something may have changed, just for the moment, not for ever. But this gal is doing what many teens are doing: Having an LDR and trying to masturbate on line together, or send nude pics by phone, or just getting their own kicks by hearing what other people do for sex. Do we ask people what their showering habits are, how they drive, to give details on what they earn or what their budget is like? No. These would all be personal questions that only should be known by you and the one special person in your life.
2, Masturbation is fun and enjoyable.As with anything in life, too much of something is not healthy or not good for a person. Example: Taking only small risks with your hard earned saving. Too much would be taking ALL of your savings and investing in something new and unproven. Vices like drinking, gambling can be too much. You may not hear it on sex. But at the point that the amount of sex you have, and that can be with multiple women or just yourself can become out of control too. At the point that sex interferes with your daily life, then it is a problem. Masturbation instead of sleeping when you should, y the definition would be sex in excess, not allowing for enough hours of sleep. There are groups and therapy for a person who has too much sex. I don't know what they would be called. You could ask your Dad to help, perhaps set you up with a counselor who works with people who have an amount of sex that affects their life, like some people not shopping for more food, having sex instead until there is no food in the house, having sex instead of studying. My husband agreed that there is such a thing as too much sex and he is still a very sexual man, happy to have sex every night unless one of us is sick or too sleepy, fighting off a bug. The difference is, he can have sex when he doesn't have any other commitments he needs to be present for such as our volunteering at church kitchen for community dinners. If someone is missing, it makes the dinner all the harder on the other volunteers. So having sex instead of going to wherever you have a commitment to be, would be bad because it affects your life and by your being taken up in this habit you are not available to people you interact with daily and that may hurt them. I vote for seeing a counselor.
Number 3. Use of tanning oil. I read a couple articles about applying sunscreen or tanning oil for those who tan nude or for nudists. It sounds like the oil won't hurt the penis. However, if you are sensitive to perfumes in soaps or lotions, there is always a slight chance you could get skin irritation from the fragrance or something else. However, that is a very slight chance.
Number 4. Having more sex does not make you any better at having sex with a partner. In fact, you will find that what worked with a first female you were sexual with, may not work with the next one. Each woman is different so she needs to give her partner feedback even during sex, asking for something instead of what is currently not doing it for her. The same goes for the guy being verbal and forthcoming about his needs.So basically, you have to learn what each new partner wants. You can't go by what the last lover wanted.
Number 5. I can't speak for all females. It also depends on how her hormones are affecting her. But for the most part, the majority of females do not give themselves pleasure on a regular basis. Almost every female has at least once given herself an orgasm. However I have heard of females who are so sexually charged, they want sex all the time. This group is the exception but not the norm.
Number 6. It is a known fact that most young teen males are all crazy about the topic of sex, hearing of others experiences with sex, wanting to have sex with whichever sex they are attracted to, and having sex on a regular basis. So if hearing a girl, or just seeing her, causes you to have an erection, then it sounds like you are a normal male. Males will get hard just talking to a woman they like, even when older. However, the body changes as it gets older. Yet even so, even if not fully hard, a man can hold the erection and enjoy an orgasm. But men do not ever have their penis reacting in some way to a woman, whether getting totally hard, semi hard, flaccid but a tingling sensation is felt, feels good. So it never stops,, it just isn't as frequent when one gets older. Getting a girlfriend doesn't help, cus if it did, someone would have made millions charging for this advice to men. Seriously, teen boys think about girls and sex most of the day, like probably 90%.
If you ask any men to answer how often they think about sex or a special female, he will say 'All the time' or 'couple of times during the day. Of course it is more frequent with young males due to their youth, but even really ancient looking guys never lose the interest, they just lose the ability to do something about it. My husband told me how his mentor once told him something of a sexual nature. He told my husband who was a teen at the time to never stop masturbating ever, even if you don't have a girlfriend, masturbation is vital. It is vital because those who stop even masturbating when a relationship breaks up, will find their body slowly adapts to shut off any sexual feeling and reactions from his penis. So to keep ones ability to enjoy a sex life real, basically 'keep up the masturbation' just don't let it rule your life. If you can't say no to not touching yourself there or masturbation for 3 days, then you might have a problem says my hubby. If there is anything I can help answer, let me know by going to list of advicegivers, finding me at dragonflymagic and from my column is the button to write again anonymous again also, but it goes just to me instead of being posted for any general advice giver to answer if they wish.
Age:17
Gender: Female
Question: Why did i orgasm when i got raped?
Hey guys . Recently I got raped, but I still orgasmed. Even though I really didn't want to. I don't know what happened, one moment I was protesting, the next i orgasmed. I don't know what is wrong with me. I hated it so much, yet my body enjoyed it. I feel so guilty and annoyed with myself. I thought as soon as h finished he would leave but he wouldn't stop until i reached climax and eventually orgasmed. Even then he went in for a few more rounds, leaving me in pain. I wish i could erase thy moment from my head. I wish it never happened. What do i do?
First, I back everything solidadvice4teens wrote you.
Second, I'd like to give an analogy regarding an answer on 'why did i orgasm'.
When you accidentally touch something hot, you pull your hand back in a split second, or a quarter of one second, your brain not able to remember having the thought of 'react to prevent getting hurt badly'. That is a protective self interest all humans are born with. Our body will react to danger but separately from what is going through your brain. Thus, you can expect the brain to hate what is happening at the same time your bodys natural instincts react. You did nothing to cause it to happen and what he did is still rape. Especially forcing you when you said no. That is rape.
Thank god for anonimity. I have a sex doll and yesterday my roomate begged me to go get him beer. Since I didn't want him drinking and driving I decided to be nice and go get it for him. I have a camera in my room and I checked it and while I was gone, he came into my room and screwed around with my dool and jerked off to it. I didn't see anything on her, but maybe he was wearing a condom, cause you can hear on the video that he got off. I came home and he was all chatty and friendly and thankful for getting his beer. Talking to me like nothing.
I want to make him pay for the doll its pretty much new and now he's defiled it. I don't even wanna touch it, let alone screw it. He ruined it for me and I want to make him buy it off me at full price. I wonder if there is a way to do that? I could say "pay me for what you stole from me, or your ex and kids are gonna see that video." But, that could blow up in my face.
I want him to pay for it, but he will probably refuse. Dunno what to do, take him to court over $700?
If it was new, how long has it been sitting in your room? Just wondering if you have tape of him using it before. You mention about avoiding drinking and driving. So I can only imagine he was drinking before and knew you would go get him beer. if I understand right, he didn't just ask if you would get beer, he begged and begged. There's no way to prove his intention was to get you out of the house so he could go use it. Either it was curiousity or he wants one himself. I think the best way to go about it is to show him the video, but make a copy first, download on to a chip and hide that somewhere in case he wants to destroy evidence later. But showing him the video should curtail him denying it, lieing or whatever. Once he's seen it, then make your case about it being new, and how you can't bear to use it now that he's touched it. So now you won't use it and paid $700. for it. Then instead of saying you want him to pay for it. Ask him what he thinks you both can do to satisfactorily end this issue? If he doesn't volunteer to pay for it, then you can suggest it. Keep in mind that if you have to take him to court, you will most definitely lose a room mate. For the future, though it won't help this issue, get a locking door knob, the kind that needs a key like the front door and if its an apartment, save the original knob to reinstall if you ever move. Keep the key on you, not hidden in the home where he could search for and possibly find. Ask yourself if it was more the being untrustworthy, doing something devious, hiding that he even entered your room that is bothering you. If it were me, I wouldn't even want the person as a roommate in the future regardless of whether I get my money back or not. He knows what he did was wrong, to go into your room and touch anything that belongs to you, sex doll or not, because he is keeping quiet and not confessing. If I was missing a sock and we both recently did laundry, I might check a roommates sock drawer after calling them first to ask if I could go look and if they don't answer, I would wait because without permission, having someone enter my private domain is like a burglar breaking and entering, although he didn't have to break in, the entering alone is abuse of your privacy. He may not pay and you may or may not win in court. You could wash the whole thing well, sanitize it all over and use it if you can't get the money back to get a new one. But for sure, I'd plan on finding a roommate to replace him
I’m not sexually active or anything, but when I masturbate, sometimes there are yellowish chunks that come out when I ejaculate. These tend to have a stronger smell than semen usually does- does anyone know what this is? Should I see a doctor? I’m a 17 year old guy if that helps
Im female so I don't have answers for that as my husband has not experienced that, but other issues due to getting older. If you have no pain its likely not serious but may still require a Dr. to check this out for you. Any irregularities in our blood when taken, can show others more serious things that need treatment but there is no pain, or no pain yet at this point. I would think examining a semen sample might help the same way. Your primary Dr. can refer you to a Urologist which is the kind of Dr. my husband has seen for his issues. A urologist can take worry off your mind if its nothing. Or recommend something to treat it if its a thing that needs treating.
I recently started a new medication which is said to have "normal" sexual side-effects with reaching climax. I haven't had partner sex since COVID and have resulted to masturbation like a lot of people. I'm always relaxed and usually have the same bed time routine etc.
However, the last few times I did there wasn't ejaculation and it took awhile longer to feel anything rather than usual quickness. In fact, my hand cramped up and that was the end of that. I'm just a tad freaked out that when I have intercourse again that there will be an issue.
I'm not looking for tips but rather how to talk to my doctor (a female whom I trust) about it. Self-pleasure is taboo and awkward to talk with female. I'm hipocritical as I always tell people on here how natural it is to do and you're normal but have this hang up telling a doctor about masturbation and sex. What do you think is best thing to do?
You've lined out already why you feel weird about talking to a female doctor, the fact that Dr. is opposite sex from you (guessing since you post Dr is female you trust) and the fact you believe self pleasure is taboo. Drs see and hear all sorts of stuff you'd think they never do, so a conversation about this is not going to shock them. I don't suppose knowing that helps. If you truly feel it is normal, then you can't also believe that it is wrong. Wrong to do but normal to do is a mindset you have and you are the only one who can change that by your thinking. People want to do what God wants. People want to do right and do what the church says. However, often enough, I've seen that what the church says and God wants are two very different things. I am not anti God or church, but a very Spiritual person who has a relationship with Jesus. I used to blindly believe what told that self pleasure is taboo as my church taught that too. I was married to someone who was not in love with me and restricted sex to only the few times they wanted it. So I masturbated. I prayed a lot about it and what I heard from GOD, led me to believe it was actually okay and a misinterpretation of church scholars. Nothing is going to change your view on this so you're more comfortable over night. This is a process for your mind. Your subconscious mind needs to get in on this and help. So speak to yourself and you'll be speaking to your subconscious. It is a habit for you to feel strange about speaking about sex and masturbation. I used to be like that in my 20s and 30s. I didn't even like saying the word 'sex' out loud with my partner. So if you don't want to wait a couple decades til you naturally grow out of it, you may want to tell your sub mind that you are choosing to see the DR and want your uncomfortable feelings to go away but those thoughts will come back sometimes as soon as a couple minutes. This is the retraining process and it gets better so that you have to remind the sub mind less often as days go by. In a few days, it should be better and you able to go.
Lastly, there is always that idea of just doing it and taking that leap of faith. However since hearing lyrics in a song about taking a leap of fear, I understand the situation better. God used it as a training for me. I learned that it is better called a leap of fear because the fear is there when you are doing the so called leap of faith. It is only really fear, something humans battle alot in many situations, fear that holds us back. So what really produces the needed faith? Its experience, the way of going through the uncomfortable scary thing to realize it wasn't as bad as you thought. It is that experience afterward that gives you or strengthens your faith. So that Nike motto, 'Just do it!' comes in handy and has less to do with shoes as I see it but everything to do with making your move while riddled with fear and uncomfortable feelings.
hey! I am a 12 year old girl. Last night my mom and I were talking about stuff and the conversation made it’s way over to s*x. she said a bunch of things and I found out that my parents still have s*x.
I’m honestly not sure WHY I’m so freaked out about this, but it makes me really uncomfortable to think that they still do it. I didn’t really know that people do it for joy, and to show love to the other spouse, I just thought that god made it to make a baby. Once you have that baby, it was done and done. Haha I was wrong i guess.
So I guess my dad uses a condom or whatever that is, and that freaks me out. Just thinking ab it freaks me out to be honest.
I cried myself to sleep last night while listening to Jules Leblanc :) I shouldn’t be this upset about it and I honestly don’t know why I am. It’s just weird thinking about that the bed that I’ve sat on many times before my parents were having s*x.
I am still upset about it and I just need to figure out why. I don’t want to think about this day and night, 24/7/365. any ideas?
Wow this takes me back to when I was 10 and Mom told me. While I wasn't disturbed enough to cry, I found the whole thing very gross. I didn't even like the idea of kissing a guy. A few years later it didn't bother me anymore. I think the reason is that I wasn't in puberty yet cus once those hormones starting flowing and changing my body, I was finally able to understand why people would want to even have sex,(although I abstained until I married at 20.) I don't know if no puberty is the case for you but if it is, then you understand that you don't feel certain feelings when you see a guy you like because your body hasn't developed to that point yet. But 12 is a good time for the talk. Some parents are really squeamish about even kissing in front of their kids. So on further thought, my parents never kisses, or showed loving pats toward each other or cuddles or hugs. I never saw anything that suggested even romance and loving each other or wanting closeness with each other. That alone can make it hard to reconcile in your mind the parents doing anything in bed. So I had that to deal with too. Not all parents have the best sex life and some do quit having sex by time their kids are your age. It shouldn't be that way. If a senior citizen couple are still physically able to do that, they will if they are very close and loving. So give it time and you'll warm up to the idea as not being so icky but a part of life for more than having kids. As an adult I choose to not try and picture couples nude and having sex. I have grown children and I never allow my mind to go there because I don't want to limit any ways I know somebody to get fixated on something that is none of my business. Thinking on it, won't change my relationship with the people, or even with parents. There is no reason to allow sex to completely fill your mind in a bad way and keep you from peace and what you have to do daily.
Your subconscious mind will think you focus on these thoughts because its something you really like. So to stop that, take the next couple days and whenever such thoughts of sex come up and you do not want to think of them, you talk to yourself inside your head. Its easier for me when I gave a name to my subconscious, anything like Cathy or Linnea, regular girl names. Then each time such a thought pops up, immediately tell your subconscious that you do not want to think about this anymore. It will go away only to come back in ten minutes or less, or more, hourly all day. Your subconscious simply is having a hard time breaking this habit, thats all. Doesn't mean its not working. Keep at it the next day and you will see you don't have to remind your subconscious as often until in a couple days, it doesn't happen much at all or has stopped. But its lots of work getting this to stop because you Have To remind your subconscious right away each time for this to work. Good luck dear.
I had unprotected sex a day after my last period in October,i didn't take any contraceptive. I'm yet to get my period now. It's been 36 days (including last period). Could i be pregnant?
I'm really scared of taking a test that eventually turns out positive.
For unprotected sex, no matter at what point in your cycle, the best bet is buying and taking the morning after pill Asap after the act as you only have a certain amount of days before that pill will no longer help if a pregnancy is started.
Since you waited so long, you now have to take a pregnancy test. Yes, it is scary and it will be a shock to the parents and they may initially get mad and yell, not because they hate you, not because they think you're stupid, but because they know how disruptive this can be to your life. Having a baby at your age is not as good a situation as having one as an adult. Going through abortion if need be I have heard from some people that it is more painful for a teen aged body and even adults can find it hard on them. If you take the test, do so a few days apart and perhaps different brands to be sure of the answer. If you are pregnant and say nothing, at some point the parents will think youve gained weight but after that it becomes obvious that you are pregnant. So you only delay them finding out but also delay getting abortion while the fetus is tiny, by time you show well enough that they know you are pregmant, you could be 4-6 months along. At 4 months, the baby is roughly the size of an avocado. See this size chart for fetuses:
https://parenting.firstcry.com/articles/baby-size-week-by-week-comparison-with-fruits-and-veggies/
The longer you wait to find out, the bigger the baby is and obviously is going to be bigger than your vagina and the entrance to womb. Drs have to get tools inside you and tear up the fetus into pieces to remove...a grizzly thought but I understand in some circumstances it is the best choice, such as a pregnancy from rape, or the mothers life is at stake if she carries full term, etc. It is better to have such a procedure earlier than later. So its best to take those tests. Tell your mom. Telling Dad is so embarrassing. If no favorable reaction or help from Mom, she may be in shock. You must reach out to another female adult, an aunt, grandma and they can help with your Mom so that a Dr. can check to see if you really are pregnant, how far along and you as a family make decisions. If you are healthy enough to carry the baby to full term and put up for adoption, there is now open adoption where you choose from couples who want to adopt and they let you be part of the babies life from the start. It will know you are birth mom and the couple are the ones raising it as adoptive mom and dad. This seems to me like the best choice of all. But it is disruptive to your life. You would have to leave school, if its even open during pandemic. If going full term, the baby will need nutrients and you are a teen and still need nutrients so if you eat as normal, that will not be enough for both of you, you will need special vitamins crafted for pregnant moms. And you have to think of your safety, not getting exposed to sick people, the corona virus, chicken pox, etc... because that can harm the growing baby. These are decisions you can't do alone. I would love to hear back how you decide to go. There are homes for pregnant teen Moms where you live with other pregnant teens and are taught what to expect in pregnancy stages, or how to handle a baby if keeping yourself or giving up for adoption.
I dont know your exact age but as a young teen my period was all over the place still, shorter ones, longer ones lasting a week, 2 in one month or none the next. So it may be something like that if you've had that before. But don't rely on one test saying you're not pregnant, take a second one a few days later and see if you get same results or follow the rechecking instructions on the test you purchase. If you are not pregnant and don't want to stay away from sex, you MUST get on a contraceptive. You can ask your family Dr, make an appt and go get checked and then you will be given the prescription for the pill. Some people have reactions, side effects and if you can't handle that, my second favorite is the IUD although you may be too young or small for that choice...so perhaps the shot or contraceptive patch. I have heard some say they like the shot and only have to get it about every three months.
I’ll start by saying that I am of a legal drinking age. But I’ve never done ANYTHING sexually. Other then with my own hand. So this is embarrassing please be nice. With that being said I want a vibrator but I’m embarrassed to go in to an adult store and say I want a vibrator. I know I could order one but I don’t want one of parents getting it. Because sometimes they don’t pay attention to who’s stuff they are opening. Should I just ask my mom for help or just buck up and go get one? Like if your a mom would you want your daughter coming to you asking for a vibrator or would you rather not know? If you would say to ask her how would I even bring it up? If your wondering my mom is pretty cool but I know when my sister told her how many partners she’s had my mom did not want to know. I also know my mom has vibrators.
Sorry it’s so long!! Please help though!!!
Im a Mom and I told my daughters once they reached puberty if they ever wanted their own vibrator, to let me know. None of them ever asked. Maybe they were too embarassed. The problem with asking a Mom who isn't open minded like me, is that in some churches, or in families, you are raised being told that masturbating is wrong, evil in fact. It is not. It is a very good way to take care of your needs when too young to have a partner, or until you do have a partner. Being wayyy older now, I have had talks with other women , most of whom did not get a sex toy ever, still too emabarrassed to go into such a shop, and others who didn't get over their embarrassment until they were married of after having given birth to a kid. It does become more natural feeling and a lot less embarrassing as you get older. I didn't get sex toys until in my thirties and I was married at 20. SO there is no problem with your not having one.
The basics of toys is either something that can be inserted, a dildo, or a vibrator only or something that does both. I can only suggest a vibrator for the clit, using the battery operated toothbrush. I have used all sorts of toys from sex shops but they do not hold up for long, and fall apart. I have found that the brush, with its bristles work as well if not better than a toy with what they called 'the butterfly' at the end that vibrated a piece of rubber shaped kinda like a butterfly and its quick vibration when held against the clit will help you have orgasms easily. I use one now too or hubby uses it on me. Use lube but otherwise, you hold it as lightly against you as you wish and the bristles don't hurt but help you start to feel what you are after. Anyone could be buying a toothbrush to brush their teeth cus the last brush died. No one would even think you were getting it to use as a sex toy. The only issue is there is usually just one speed, maybe two if you find one like that, I haven't. And toys in shops can come in other speeds. But I have found the lower speeds did nothing to arouse, so I've stuck with the strongest one always and believe it or not, the toothbrushes one speed if definitely enouh.
Ok super embarrassed to ask but don’t know what to do. I want to get a vibrator because I’m tired of my hand. However, I am slightly embarrassed to go to a sex shop and ask for a vibrator. Would it be weird to talk to my mom about it? Like if your a mom would you want your daughter to ask for your help to get a vibrator or for her to just go get one? The sad part of all this is I’m of a legal Drinking age and I’m to shy to go into a sex shop.
Some MOms are too timid or embarrassed themselves to talk frankly about any reproductive or sex questions. Then theres other Moms who have no problem talking on the issue. You know your Mom best. If you feel she would be too embarrassed to help and go buy you something, then you still have one option. You won't be able to get say a dildo to insert. But if you just want a vibrator for your clit that can produce orgasms, an electric toothbrush works really great. In fact, we got tired of the more expensive toys not lasting as long so my husband suggested trying it. You may think the bristles are too hard and would hurt but they don't. Use lube, and hold it against the skin lightly. Anyone can buy a battery operated toothbrush and no one would be the wiser.
in a heterosexual relationship. Just discovered my husband of 30 years is viewing gay porn for hours every morning on his laptop. Should I be worried? Should I confront him about this?
f you are afraid of the answers, which you will understand possible ones as I go on, then you may not want to ask him. Although I can't promise that keeping the crumbs and dust swept under the rug will mean it never sees the light of day. One day, he may become brave enough to tell you and you may or may not be ready
for the answer. His answers could blow your mind.
If you choose to talk to him, remember this is not a confrontation which to me means accusing a person of doing wrong or needing to be corrected and set straight.
There are several scenerios that may come into play. He could be bi sexual but never acted on it. This would mean he is sexually excited by both men and women. Simply watching porn then is the safest way to take care of that part of himself. It may not be the most fulfilling for him. I will make a suggestion at the end regarding something I feel is even better than watching porn.
A person could be truly gay but due to family or social cues, decided to hide that part of themselves and force themselves to live the straight hetero sexual life.
These days, there is more knowledge shared of what it is to be transgender. This means the gender you are born with is not the gender you identify with. It is mostly people in their thirties and younger who feel there is some basic understanding and knowledge on this, but those of us older, never ever heard of such a thing at the time we were getting married and so a person who is male in body parts but has always felt like a female with female likes and desires learned long ago to hide it. I have met a couple people in my life who were transgender and gay and one gay and polyamourous and those are very complicated situations.
Also, a person's mind is their greatest sexual organ, and what we see and hear and as a result think about can give us the sexual delight we seek. What that thing is that heightens and in part or fully fulfills the sexual part of each of us can vary to some really normal to strange stuff like being tied to a bed as more normal to the pain thing with hot wax poured on you to peeing on your partner and then viewing something you believe is a forbidden practice such as being gay, can easily heighten the sex experience for others.
Let me tell you of something I experienced with my 2nd husband, my soulmate. There were a couple mornings I found my hubby in front of his pc viewing naked pics of women while masturbating. I was not angry, just curious and walked up behind him, greeting him and asking what he was doing. I was not accusing or confronting or a person will clam up if you do so and you'll never find out the truth. He told me that some mornings he wakes with the need for sex but sees I am sound asleep and doesnt wish to wake me. He is being considerate of me. I told him he could wake me and he has but he still will not do so if I got little sleep or am not feeling my best. He told me he was looking for photos of women whose bodies looked just like mine and when I asked to see the photos, he scrollled through and showed me and I had to agree they looked very similar to me. He stated he wished it was easier and he simply had photo of me to use when he didn't want to wake me. Ao I said why not take nude pics of me for this purpose. He was surprised, Really? he asked. So we did some photos. Some I didn't find flattering to me but he loved them and that's what counts. He loves me even more for being willing to offer that and I love him even more for thinking first of my sleep when he is desiring sex with me.
So who knows...you might be able to have an experience where you draw even closer to each other through sharing with each other. My tips, try to be open minded about it. Remember the scenerios that make a person horny are not necessarily something they would want to carry out in real life. Allow him to share and let him know he can tell you anything, just that you were afraid to ask before now but realize this doesnt change him, just may change some things and bring it into the open so it doesn't have to remain hidden and so you both can talk it out. If by some change, he is interested in trying it, often its the curiosity and not a true fact of being bi or gay that drives it. I was once attending a pool party with hubby as our friends plus 1 to this party so I really didn't know the people there. I was sunning by the pool, opened my eyes and saw all the w omen were missing so I asked where they were? ONe husband said his wife was bi and her partner was there. They had decided to have some time in one of the rooms and when all the other women heard about it, they wanted to go watch and the majority of them were bi curious. To this day, I haven't heard from my friend of any of them becoming bi, you either are or aren't and it isnt something you decide to share.
Now as for what I mentioned as a better alternative to watching porn is a venue through which one can experience all the things they want to but never have for special reasons. I am talking of a program on the computer called Second Life. It is a venue that is run with pretty much all the things one could experience in real life.
YOu have to spend a minimal amount of money to play and once in, people earn game money to carry on. You get an avatar and name it, dress it, go to dances, clubs, sing or perform on stage, go swimming, surfing, riding motorcycles, anything you can do in real life. I used to play and my hubby does minimally now. Just for the challenge, besides his male avatar, he created a female one to see how good he might be able to do as a female and through that discovered plenty of seniors who never followed their true path, were bi, gay or transgender but hid it. NOw they can experience what it is like being the other sex or having sex with those they couldn't before. It seems to fulfill that part of a person that has always wondered or mourned for what they just couldn't b ring themselves to do. I can't swim so I trying the swimming and surfing and other water sports where I would have drowned in real life long ago. If in the talks, your husband is really curious to experience but isn't gay or bi, then I would mention Second Life and support his getting into it. I even tried being a male, and I could create a really handsome one with great name and such but when it came to typing in my conversation with women, I just couldn't think of what to say to women. Though my husband is good at it, he most definitely is not gay. I hope this helps you. But I will say, there is a reason for his viewing this porn, and if he says there isn't, he is afraid of your response and that may be in part to how you have responded in other situations over the years, if you get over emotional, instead of remaining calm, and such stuff. Hope this helps you.
My wife was a whore when I married her. The way she let me know was by reading her diary and of stories of going out with one to four guys at a time. In the diary she told about being fingered on the school bus on the way home from school and that every boy on the bus took turns fingering her. She also said in the diary that she would go out with her girlfriend and her boy friend and they would go parking and they would fuck and she would get so honey from listing to them. She said that one night they were all out together and that her girlfriend passed out from having sex and her boyfriend put his hand on her knee and she didn't stop him, he ran his hand up her skirt and stated finger her, then he crawled over the back seat and took her panties off and fucked her. Her girlfriend woke up and caught them fucking. From then on her girlfriend would let her boyfriend fuck her every time they all went out together. We are friends with this couple and they come over sometimes. I told my wife that I think Sherman want's to get in her panties again, my wife said that would be okay and that she would like for me to watch them fuck.After we got married, my wife came home from work and she wanted to go to bed,after we got in bed I noticed how wet she was and she told me she wanted to fuck all the guys at her work and that she was noting but a whore. She said that she came back from lunch and the guys were playing cards and she ask them what they were playing and they told her strip poker and ask her if she wanted to play, she told them that she didn't know how to play and besides if she lost they would not have time to do anything else. I told her that there was noting wrong with sex and that there was noting wrong with having sex. I told my wife if she had sex with them to let me know about it, I'm sure she would let me know. I took some nude pictures of her and had them with me at a beer joint one time and showed them to this guy. When I got home that evening and told my wife about it when we went to bed, and that the guy said he would give $50.00 for some of that. My wife said she wouldn't mind making $50.00 dollars. We got to talking about having some pictures of us having sex. We talked about who we would get to take the pictures and we knew this couple who were married and I said why don't we get Sharron to do it and my wife said hell no, get Bill to do it. I said well Bill would probably want to fuck her, my wife said that would be okay with her. Should I let my wife follow though with what she wants to do and if I don't she will probably cheat behind my back. I guess by going along with her I could learn to enjoy it.
Your wife may be a phomaniac and require help from a licensed professional. I actually wonder why she wanted to marry if she has such a great desire to be with so many men. The issue is not whether you should let her go along with her own plans but whether you want a woman for wife who has an addiction to sex as it doesn't seem to matter who as long as theres a ready and willing penis. So decide what you want first. If you don't really care for her deeply, then let her do as she wants but you will likely have to fear getting an STD. Theres such a thing as open marriages but the people are not addicted to sex and only have one or two more partners and usually take the plans to be safe.
If this is your idea of a normal relationship, theere is nothing I can say, and what I think doesnt matter anyways.
If you believe something is wrong with the wife also, have a talk with her about addictions and look it up online, Yes there is such a thing as sexual addiction. However, one can not force another adult to make the right choices so if she doesn't want to change and you do not see being able to enjoy everything staying exactly as it is with her for the next 5 years, next decade, couple deciades or to the day of your deaths, then you may have to end the relationship.
Im 14 and my friend told me that she would suck dick for 20 dollars should i keep her as a friend talk to her about or just tell we cant be friends?
That makes it sound as if she has hopes of growing up and being a prostitute. If she needs money, she can be creative and find chores neighbors need done for pay, raking/or blowing leaves, shoveling snow, walking their dog, etc...
If she simply wants to experience sex, she should wait until she's older and its someone she is mutually in love with.
However I am more prone to think she actually believes this to be a good idea. Most teens are not able to make the best judgements and choices or have the best ideas because the frontal lobe of the brain responsible for you to do those things, is not done growing and is immature even though the body has blossomed. So she needs her parents to know and hopefully get some counseling to see what is really going on. Basically I feel the same as what Solidadvicefor teens said
I (16 year old male) tend to masturbate in my pyjamas, rather than naked. However, I recently googled about whether other people do it this way, and I came across people that do, but they tend to put their hand down their pants and do it. I just feel the bit with the erection there, and move it until I ejaculate into the pants (I’m very squeamish so don’t really like the idea of touching my bare genitals)
I wipe the semen out of my pyjamas and wash my hands when I’m done, but I’m not 100% sure whether it’s safe to masturbate this way.
I think my mom is slightly concerned about the amount I ask for clean pyjamas though. Do you think she is aware of all this masturbation though? If not, how do I tell her?
I don't believe there is an unsafe way to masturbate. Since Masturbation is getting to orgasm using your own hands, what ever is comfortable for your hand and works will do the trick. However, since you are male and squeamish about touching your bare genitals, it has me wondering what the heck you do when needing to pee. Most males hold their penis to aim it at the urinal or into the toilet. Without some guidance, the stream of pee would be hitting walls, floors, the rest of the toilet, anywhere but the water in the bowl. Oh, I know, maybe the idea of putting on rubber gloves to touch your penis when you need to pee will work for you. I suppose you could do the same in bed, no pajama's, just wear gloves. But really, I hope you outgrow this bit about being uncomfortable to touch your self because once an adult, I don't see how sex will be very successful if you don't want to touch it nor let anyone else touch it. Perhaps youi've heard somewhere or parents have said that touching yourself is dirty.
The answer to that is No, it is not dirty. And Mom won't connect the amount of pajamas you wear with being dirty because of masturbation. She may just think you have a odd phobia of not wearing the same thing twice. Semen will dry on cloth and as far as hubby and I can tell, there is no odor the next day, no wet or sticky spots and the only thing one could tell is that is a towel was used, the nap of the towel may feel harsher rather than softer where cum has dried. Can't even see any signs of it. Have you ever thought of not wearing pajama's in the first place? Just because Mom or Dad wear them doesn't mean you have to. Yes, as a kid, I wore flannal nightgowns and hated how they got twisted around my legs. When I got married at 20, I stopped wearing anything to bed because when you have a partner/mate, and there is desire for each other, the best thing in the world is being under the sheets, naked and cuddling skin to skin. If your dieas and feelings continue to be as you stated by time you are into your twenties, you may want to see a therapist or at least a sex therapist to get over the fear of touching yourself. For now, its a new experience so I understand the strangenss of it but as I said, if you're still feeling the same years from now, its not normal and you should do something to get past it.