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so my "ex best friend" said something that just made me be like ...wow i don't want to be around you anymore. its a long story of what she said and when she said it blahblah but it hurt..alot, and i don't want someone in my life that says those kind of things to me. the thing that sucks though is i see her everyday at school. shes in 4 of my classes. i'm forced to sit with her because all my good friends are friends with her too. i have other friends but do you think it'd be weird to just switch tables? idk what to do i just don't want to see her as much as i have to but i don't want to make it obvious that i'm changing everything because of her.

Well, did you tell any of your other friends about what happened? Maybe if you do then they will understand where you are coming from. This doesnt mean you have to get them to hate her and cause drama, but at least there will be some understanding.
Next, host a sleepover or go out with your other good friends. Build a bond up. Not to shut her out, but this way she is off your mind, and when you sit at the lunch table with your ex friend you do not have to worry about being left out.
In this case, you do not have to leave your other friends because of your ex, and vice versa, Instead build a new stronger bond with your other friends and avoiding your ex friend will be a piece of cake!

i have tons of friends, but i'm not extremely close with any of them. i used to have a best friend but she let me down big time and i realized i don't want someone like that in my life. i feel its even hard to trust my friends, like don't get me wrong i love hanging out with them and stuff and they're fun people, thats why we're friends :)...but i feel like i can't completely trust anyone..everyones always talking shit and i actually caught my old "best friend" talking shit about me. i'm honestly a nice person and i try to get along with everyone but high school girls and even most of the guys now just love to talk shit because they're bored with their own lives and they love attention. i only trust 2 people in my life, my dad and my boyfriend of a year(and they're both guys look at that). i kind of want a female to trust though...or at least get close to. how do i go about approaching this? and it sucks cause all my closest friends are friends with my ex "best friend"....if you could even call her that....

I totally understand what you are saying. High school is tough, and girls love to talk behind peoples backs. I think it is okay to recognize this, because its obvious and the natural reaction would be to not trust them. You can still hang out with them and have fun, but to not fully trust them is very understandable.
I know you want the one girl you can trust, and maybe you will become very close with one of your friends (friends tend to drift a bit, at times you are reaaaal close then you drift away a bit, and some friends get lost in the ocean forever)
Trust is a really valuable gift. Quite honestly, it is a gift you have to earn. These girls do not sound like they desserve that gift. Not to worry, you never know who will come in your life and will earn that trust. It may not be right now, but as we mature I think you will find that female you can really trust.Dont rush, dont get discouraged because trust takes a long time to earn

My friend is taking lots of drugs.
I asked her what she's taken and she listed a lot of things including Crack and LSD...
Shrooms, E, pot... Much, much more.

)': It hurts me a lot to know this...
What can I do?

I want to help her...
But when she's not on drugs, she gets really depressed. and Cuts her self...

She use to cut herself, then got on drugs... now doesn't cut herself...

What can I do or say?

when you care about someone sometimes you have to do the hard thing. tell someone who can get her help. thats your job. she might get so angry at first, but in the long run its the right thing to do. tell her parents, a teacher,somebody who can intervene and get her treatment. you dont want her whole life to go down the drain.good luck and i hope it works out

My friend and I were totally psyched to get to go to homecoming this year, but now she doesn't want to go because no one's gunna ask her. She's still madly in love with her ex boyfriend, blahblahblah and she only wants to go with him. I really can't believe she's not going because she's not gunna go with her ex. She's ruining her teenage years by obsessing over this guy. How can I convince her to go and to have FUN?

just tell her how much fun it can be. all the girls can come over someones house and get ready, do hair, make up etc. you girls can go to the mall and look for dresses, plan an after party bonfire type thing, etc etc just tell her to come out and dance the night away! hopefully she will come around. let her know you want her to be in all the homecoming pictures to look back on !

Okay so, for starters thanks for helping me, and i know this is kind of a long drawn out thing, but please read all of it inorder to understand the complete situation.
Okay So i have two "best" friends, MC (girl), and TL(guy/cousin)
So me and TL have been bff's since we were little babies, and me and MC have been bff's for a few years too, and I guess at some point of having both of them as best friends, they also became bff's.

WELL the thing is MC like, likes TL, and she is constantly flirty getting his attention. AND he likes it he'll say stuff all the time to her like " i love you as my #1 bff, or your soooo funny, Your awsome" But he NEVER talks to me any more hardly, and neither does MC, they don't save me a seat, or if they do it's like diagnol from their seats, which are side by side.

AND it really makes me mad. I KNOW i'm jelous, but can you blame me! I don't want to confront them, because I think they'll be mad. Sometimes i think (IN MY HEAD NOT OUT LOUD)that they were both my friends FIRST bEFORE they were EVER best friends!!! If it wasn't for me well, they wouldn't be bff's. AND I KNOW that's wrong, but i can't get it out of my head!

WHAT DO I DO?!?!?! P.S I'm in 8th grade. (oh and i'm a girl if that means anything )

well, as a 19 yr old i am just one of many (pretty much all) who will tell you this is part of life. i have grown close with friends, and drifted apart from friends and its all part of life to put it simply. and ive been there..the frustration that you were friends with one before they met the other and then the two of them get all buddy buddy and leave out the other. its hard to accept and its frustrating. through life and especially high school, etc. you will make new friends and drift away from others. some approaches you can try...

1) invite one of them to sleep over (the girl probably lol) and spend one on one time with her.work on your bonding and whats funny is one fun sleepover/day at the mall could be the answer to this problem.

2) hang out with bothh of them. take lots of pictures, be spontaneous, funny, center of the spot light.

3) lay low and start talking with some other aquaintances. hang out with them and see if your two friends start to miss you and change their closed attitudes.

good luck i hope it works out

For my basketball team, we;re making the seniors signs, for senior night. And for football season, they made signs that had rhyming things for their names. Ex. "we have beatty, he weighs 280"
things like that but for girls.
Ashley, Courtney, and Cierra or C.
Courtney makes a lot of threes
"C" is REALLY tall, like 6'4
and Ashley has really good defense.
Any help?
I need the signs done for monday, thanks!!!

we got ash on defense which makes a lot of sense
c will knock it down and make the other team frown
courtney will shoot and swish it through the hoop!

ashley steals the ball and amazes us all
courtney swishes all the threes you wish you had skills like these
C is really tall she could jump over a wall
c is our center you wont find anyone better

lol hope it helped

Hey, I have this friend, a girl. She desperately needs to cry, but she is emotionless and cold. How can I bring her to tears or otherwise help her turn on the waterworks.

Just talk to her in a one on one setting. Try to relate to her tough times she is going through. Tell a sad story or something you went through, tell her its ok and perfectly healthy/normal to cry. Some people dont really cry, but hopefully she will at least talk to you about the issues that are going on with her.

last winter i became friends with a girl named gianna who i worked with at a grocery store. i was a sophomore in high school and she was a senior but we both went to different schools. our friendship grew as the year went on and i always had a great time around her and never felt like she was judging me. at random times, she would tell me these weird reasons why she couldn't hang out. she said her parents grounded her because she was seeing her boyfriend who was two years younger than her and they didn't like the idea of that. she quit her job at the grocery store and said it was because her mom didn't like the people who worked there and that we were corrupting her, since she goes to catholic school and the rest of us go to public school. keep in mind she was no more innocent than the rest of us, and none of us are druggies or alcoholics or anything. she said she wasn't allowed to hang out with me for this reason. over the summer we started hanging out again and we got so close. she was calling me almost everyday to hang out and we always had a great time. she still said she wasn't allowed to hang out but since she drives, it didn't really matter. she was starting college in september at a local school and she was nervous so i called to wish her good luck the day before and she was so happy to hear from me and thanked me and asked if she could call me back in a few minutes so i said okay. she never called back that night, and i never talked to her again. i've called her cell phone and left messages, text messaged her, and called her house. when i called her house, she answered but when i said it was me she hung up. on new years at like 1am, she finally came on AIM but her away message was on instantly and it said she had been onlnie for 8 hours. so i i/med her saying omg gianna please answer me and she signed off again. i checked on another screen name and truth comes out she blocked me. the story gets worse, someone who works with me and worked with her in the past saw her sitting in the parking lot of the grocery store. she was sitting in her car for over an hour. it was definately her, the person went to the car to say hi but she didn't say anything about why she dissapeared for so long. i miss her like crazy, nothing is the same without her. i don't know what to think and i don't know how to get her back. ideas on anything would be a big help! and thanks to whoever took the time to read this long thing

Her behavior is extremely bizarre. Dont be too hard on yourself, you really are trying but for some reason she isnt responding. Who knows if she has family issues, or other problems. She knows your concerned, i would maybe back off a bit. She may come to you to talk, but you cant MAKE her talk to you. Its an unfortunate situation but maybe she needs time to herself and hopefully she will come around. good luck! :)

my best friend kylie and i recently got into an argument, and i decided to end the friendship.

what happened was that i found out somebody was passing around naked pictures of her. like giving them to her friends and shit. she wasn't supposed to know because only a small group of kids knew about it. the person that i found out from made me promise not to tell kylie. i promised. i wasn't going to tell kylie until i thought about it. i felt like withholding that kind of information from her was being a bad best friend. better to hear it from me than some stranger, right? so i told her. i pleaded with her not to tell anyone, that it would make me look bad, like a big mouth. she promised not to tell anybody.

to make a long story short, she went straight to the source and started bitching out the kid who passed them around. the more she tried to cover up, the more i found out she was lying to me. she even directly told the kid that i told her. she GAVE him the text messages to read, but lied about it and said he took her phone.

she wouldn't even admit that she did anything wrong. she acted like i was the one being selfish.

i told everyone that i was done with her, that i didn't want to speak to her ever again. two nights later, she apologized. i didn't expect her to do that.

now, i miss her. she's apologized and i feel like she should have a second chance. but now i make myself look stupid because i kept saying how i never wanted to speak to her again. the other thing is that i don't trust her anymore. she lied to me and kept secrets. i don't know what to do.

i'm sorry this was so long. but thank you to anyone that read it and can offer advice.

I know you feel upset she ratted you out, but think about it..naked pictures are really embarassing. I would have gone right to the source too. This is a rough thing for her to go through, and i really think you should talk to her. Put this behind the two of you, and move on. Who cares you told everyone you were done with her? You and her were best friends,dont let this incident ruin it hun

my best friend ever is a black boy named even and no one knows that he is my best friend on earth im afriad to tell my parents about him because they dont really like black people and i love him like my own brother please help i want to tell people about him but i dont know how please help and thanks

let people know. we live in a different time now. if your parents dont like it, which they probably wont, stand up to them. let them know racism is wrong and its 2008 now! our generation must be passionate and strong about breaking racial barriers. dont be ashamed

ok, this is embarasing but here goes... A while ago i got caught by my neighbor peeking in her window when she had some friends over for a sleepover. i was on her back porch peeking in her window when 1 of her friends came out and said what are you doing??? i was like.. o my god... i was so embarased. so she told the other girls wat i was doing and they all talked and then 1 of them came to me and said they wouldnt tell on me if i did wat they said. she said that to be fair they should get to see me naked and that I should strip naked for them. otherwize they would tell my mom that i was a pervert and a peeping tom. anyway, i did it. i took off all my clothes and let them all see me. they looked and giggled and stuff for a long time and then they let me go home. The thing is that since then a couple of them have made be do it again for girls that werent even at the sleepover. they say i desrve it for peeking at them that night. Do you think I deserve it? Should I keep doing it for them? Please give me your advice!

Thanks,
Paul

oh my! haha no of course you dont desserve that. i wouldnt do this once more. next time, tell them they can tell your mom. and when she asks, just assure her you just wanted to see what they were doing, its not like they were naked. and if they tell your mom you exposed yourself to them so they wouldn tell, deny it!

so my "best friend" of 3 years is amazing.
but when shes around anyone but me she sometimes ignores me.and its not like i need her all the time to be right there i mean.. its kinda hard to explain. and when she's around her boyfriend ooh man! she always flirts with our(yes our)ex and i do like him and i think she likes him too. but she says she doesnt and that she loves her new boyfriend and stuff; but idk. she just makes me so frustrated when she ignores me and stuff for guys. i mean ill always be here and they most likely wont. so how do i stay calm and not flipp out on her. i know its partly jealousy but still the other part of it is frustration.

You guys have been best friends for a longgg time. Keep that in mind and you are right, you will be therre longer than the guys will. Expressing your feelings is another great way. You can let her know that sometimes you feel she values guys over you and she ignores you at times when guys are around. You can talk to her without flipping out..hopefully she understands how you feel and will keep in mind that friends will always be there ! :)

i feel like my shyness is getting in the way of my life. i've always been shy, but during the start of soph year, i decided to start talking to people more. but it's been a few months and i've still got the same small group of friends, plus a few. i constantly feel left out b/c all my friends seem to have so many more friends than i do, and when one of them is chatting with her other friends, they kind of just look at me like "who is she..?" i've been trying to come out of my shell, and i guess i've improved, but i still feel so friendless and unlikable sometimes. at the most extreme times, i go as far as cutting myself. i just hate how much my shyness and low self-esteem have interfered with my life emotionally. i guess when people get to know me well, like my friends, they do like me, but if i try talking to new people, it usually goes nowhere. i don't know; if i'm really that unlikable, i guess i just have to deal with it. but back in middle school, i had a lot of friends. maybe i'm just not maturing and socializing as quickly as my friends are. but i always end up feeling guilty when i have thoughts like "i hate myself and my life", b/c i know that my life is great, i've got an awesome family and so much i could ask for. it's just the whole issue with friends that brings me down. i don't know what i can do to change. any advice would truly help; thanks.

First thing is first hun, NEVER hate yourself..and never cause harm to your body! Think about your great family and friends. A few good friends is better than a bunch of fake or distant ones. I only hang out with a group of 5 or so, and that doesnt bother me. A couple of my friends who are in college have a million friends, but i dont need that..im happy with my few close friends. i know you want to make new friends and socialize, which is totally normal..so here are a few tips to branch out:

-join a sport or club. i played tennis and softball all through high school and it really helped to get to know girls older and younger than me. it will give you opportunity to get to know other people...and once you meet new people simply ask if they want to do something over the weekend like go to a movie.
i have my 5 best friends from the start of high school but i had to take the step of hanging out with them for a first time..and if you want to make new friends, you need to do that also. as you get talking to new people ask for them to go to the mall or movies one weekend or have a sleepover

- you can also try talking to your friends that yyou have now. you can explain to your friend that you want to branch out and make new friends..tell them you feel left out when their friends talk to them and dont acknowledge you. have your friend introduce you to their friends, and even plan a movie night or sleepover so you can connect with them too.

the biggest thing to keep in mind is to not stay so closed up! talk, laugh, socialize and you will make new friends.

it isnt essential to have 20 good friends..you have a few good friends, and thats what i have and i am perfectly happy. just remember do NOT hate yourself! open up to people, start talking, and you will make new friends! i dont know how old you are, but if you go away to college you can make tons of friends because everyone will be away from home and their old friends. my best friend has a million new friends at college..so keep in mind that college is also a perfect opportunity to open up and gain a lot of friends.

i hope this helped..if you need any more advice please inbox me again

thanks for the inbox! :)

-melissa-

ok here's the thing imm really sad right now :(
please dont get mad at me but could you actually give a real answer that you would do if you were in this position

ok since i was like 4 i was friends with this girl named britney. wen my family moved away from them we grew further apart

but wen i was like 12 and she was like 14 she started getting more friends then she stopped hanging out with me

but she still thinks everything is ok
i dont know why but its almost like i hate her

she just i guess wants to act mature and she always hangs out with my sister and doesnt even say anything to me

wenever we do talk she just asks about my sister and doesnt really care about me

please ive cried every night because of it and i really need advice!!!

people change. im 18 and i have lived through it all. you might be close to a friend for a couple years, then you drift apart. it is part of life, but you can try talking to her about your feelings. you can let her know you have been upset about everything and you want to get the friendship back.
if you dont want to talk to her right away, you can try just askign her to hang out and maybe the friendship will get the spark back on its own. good luck with everything, and eventually let her know how your feeling because i know the worst feeling ever is crying and being so sad/angry without telling the person

A girl considers me her bff, but I haven't talked to her face to face in like 4 months. I use her for my own personal gain when i need her, because she doesn't like her current friends and tries to get in with my friends so she thinks it'll help but she's getting way too annoying and I would keep using her but I cant because she is seriously always there and too annoying, how do i get through to her?

Well, you must stop using her. Maybe tellign the truth will be the best idea if the silent treatment doesnt work. Maybe you should openly tell her you used her and you dont really feel the way she does about the friendship. Sometimes, teh truth hurts but its the only way..especially for someone who is always around and annoying as you described. good luck with everything

me and my friend brandi are bored on a saturday afternoon. i want to take pictures for my myspace but idk what angles where to take them or anything. i dont have any good ideas. can someone help me ?

mirror shots, upside down, have the camera way over your head, dont look directly at the camera, etc.

this school year, i've been moving from one clique to another cause i didn't fit in. until finally, i think my friends now are the ones.:) i love that they've accepted me and all but i can't help but get insecure because they're all pretty and fit. i know i shouldn't feel this way cuz there's more than just physical appearance but i can't help but feel it. especially when we go out and they could wear dresses or shorts with it looking good on them. please help meee.:(

13/f

i totally understand this because my friends are extreeemely beautiful and i am pretty overweigght : / so i know the feeling, but they are your friends! they enjoy your company, they think you are a good friend, etc. i know it feels crappy to see them look so pretty when you go out, but i am like the funny person in the group and we are all so close and they have been there for me, thats all that matters. everyone has their insecurities, but dont let it get to you. your friends like your comapny, and your friendship, looks arent an issue..dont let it interfere with friends!

So, i broke up with jay a while ago...and he got really upset about it. the night before i dumped him, we got into an argument because he was ignoring me, and thats not cool. so eventually the conflict ended, but he was still texting me because he "wanted" to. but i was still really pissed off. he asked why, and i said "why do you care?" and he sends me a text saying "oh, come on dont be like that" and i said "like what?" and he says "im not even gonna say it." and i said "like a jerk?" and he says "maybe" and i dont remember what i say, but he sends me a text saying that he was kidding and i send one back saying "no your not" and he quit texting me after that. now, i know that that was completely my fault. i get really irate sometimes, and i probably would have strangled him if he was in front of me. but then the next day i send him a text saying "i think we should take a break until we know eachother a little better"...i know that isnt the best way to end a relationship, but i had no other choice. he was in school. (im homeschooled, hes not) anyways, he replies saying "yea" but i could tell he didnt agree. so hes been ignoring me since and he wont talk to me for more than 2 minutes. and then i yelled at him the other day because one of my really good guy-friends who goes to jay's school told me that jay had called me a "dirty whore" and so i confront him about it, and he denies it. and then he gets mad at me AGAIN. and so now im totally lost. i would ask my best friend for help, but i dont have one anymore. what should i do??

You're right, he probably didnt want to break up so that is why he might have called you that name. You shouldnt go back to him if you arent ready, if you really feel you want to be apart from him, stay broken up and try to mend things so you two get along better. It wont be easy, it will be awkward at first, but hopefully it will get better.

I tend to get really shy and dont know what to say to people Im just meeting. Like with my friends im comfortable with with them so i can say anythign and im fine with that. But like i dont know how to keep a conversation going while meeting knew people because i freeze and Dont know what to say at all. :/ what should I do?

maybe meeting new people along with your friends will help you feel more comfortable. if you are talking to someone new along with a couple of friends , you might find it easier to talk, laugh, and be yourself in general. after the ice is broken, you will be more comfortable talking to them one on one. i know if i am out with my friends i feel totally comfortable going up to anyone with my friends and make convo. :)

Hey everyone Im a 15 year old girl in highschool and I need some advice. My used to be best friend recently started getting drunk about a month into our freshman year. At first she started talking about it and I got really mad at her for even thinking about it. I made her promise not to go drinking and promised me she wouldn't. Then I here on homecomming that she drank before the dance with some of my other friends but I just assumed that she was acting crazy at the dance, not actually drunk. I had to hear from SOMEONE ELSE that she drank. So indtead of confronting her I gave her a complete silent treatment for 3 weeks. She finally wrote me a note saying how she was sorry how she messed up our friendship, how we used to be best friends, how shes an idiot, how shell never drink again and stuff like that. I decided to forgive her a few days later. So time went on and we were cool, but then like 4 days ago i found out she FOR SURE was drinking over the weekend. Then today I found out shes planning to go get drunk this weekend. Ive stopped talking to her since i found out she drank last weekend. Am I doing something wrong? How do I handle this? Do i talk to her? I care about her soooooo much. she also has a problem with being taken advantage of by boys. Her mom has cancer, her dads an ex meth user. She keeps trying to work things out with me but I always brush her off. Sometimes im pretty nasty w/ her. Theres more sides to the story, but i think im running out of room so i'll stop. Thanks for taking the time to read this...

BHKchick

Your friend has a drinking problem. She isnt drinking just for fun, its more than that it sounds like. A drinking problem is not somethign you can control without help, I truly beeleive she values your friendship, but shes caught up in bad stuff right now at a young age. She could be depressed, desperate to become 'popular' maybe there is a family history of alcoholism, i dont know. if i were you, i would try talkig to her. dont yell or give her silent treatments because like i said before, its not in her control. she has to seek help, talk to a counselor, etc. i heard a story a couple weeks ago about 3 freshman who overdosed on painkillers in school and had to go to the hospitol. there are so many girls like them making stupid choices, desperate for attention.

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