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shyness is evil
i feel like my shyness is getting in the way of my life. i've always been shy, but during the start of soph year, i decided to start talking to people more. but it's been a few months and i've still got the same small group of friends, plus a few. i constantly feel left out b/c all my friends seem to have so many more friends than i do, and when one of them is chatting with her other friends, they kind of just look at me like "who is she..?" i've been trying to come out of my shell, and i guess i've improved, but i still feel so friendless and unlikable sometimes. at the most extreme times, i go as far as cutting myself. i just hate how much my shyness and low self-esteem have interfered with my life emotionally. i guess when people get to know me well, like my friends, they do like me, but if i try talking to new people, it usually goes nowhere. i don't know; if i'm really that unlikable, i guess i just have to deal with it. but back in middle school, i had a lot of friends. maybe i'm just not maturing and socializing as quickly as my friends are. but i always end up feeling guilty when i have thoughts like "i hate myself and my life", b/c i know that my life is great, i've got an awesome family and so much i could ask for. it's just the whole issue with friends that brings me down. i don't know what i can do to change. any advice would truly help; thanks.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
First thing is first hun, NEVER hate yourself..and never cause harm to your body! Think about your great family and friends. A few good friends is better than a bunch of fake or distant ones. I only hang out with a group of 5 or so, and that doesnt bother me. A couple of my friends who are in college have a million friends, but i dont need that..im happy with my few close friends. i know you want to make new friends and socialize, which is totally normal..so here are a few tips to branch out:
-join a sport or club. i played tennis and softball all through high school and it really helped to get to know girls older and younger than me. it will give you opportunity to get to know other people...and once you meet new people simply ask if they want to do something over the weekend like go to a movie.
i have my 5 best friends from the start of high school but i had to take the step of hanging out with them for a first time..and if you want to make new friends, you need to do that also. as you get talking to new people ask for them to go to the mall or movies one weekend or have a sleepover
- you can also try talking to your friends that yyou have now. you can explain to your friend that you want to branch out and make new friends..tell them you feel left out when their friends talk to them and dont acknowledge you. have your friend introduce you to their friends, and even plan a movie night or sleepover so you can connect with them too.
the biggest thing to keep in mind is to not stay so closed up! talk, laugh, socialize and you will make new friends.
it isnt essential to have 20 good friends..you have a few good friends, and thats what i have and i am perfectly happy. just remember do NOT hate yourself! open up to people, start talking, and you will make new friends! i dont know how old you are, but if you go away to college you can make tons of friends because everyone will be away from home and their old friends. my best friend has a million new friends at college..so keep in mind that college is also a perfect opportunity to open up and gain a lot of friends.
i hope this helped..if you need any more advice please inbox me again
thanks for the inbox! :)
-melissa-
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